Disclaimer: I own not!
Raven was locked in her room meditating, when something…happened. Suddenly she was weightless and floating. She opened her eyes and saw nothing but white fog. She turned her head to look behind her, but it was just more white fog. When she turned her head back forward, she almost jumped, because suddenly, out of nowhere, she wasn't alone. Beast Boy was there, sitting in a full Lotus position that mirrored her own exactly and wearing a smile that was most un-Beast Boy-like.
"Where are we?" Raven asked.
"You're still in your room, but you have achieved a higher plane of meditation," Beast Boy said, not sounding like himself at all. In fact…
"You're not Beast Boy. Who are you?"
"I am your spirit guide," the fake Beast Boy said. "Or maybe your spirit animal, or maybe both."
"Why are you Beast Boy?" Raven asked.
"Only you can answer that," the guide said.
"Alright, I'm here. How do I get out of here?"
"By finding truth," her guide said.
"Truth about what?"
"It could be anything from the ultimate unifying force of the universe to realizing that Santa Clause isn't real, it only has to be an epiphany." the guide said. He smiled, and it was almost Beast Boy-like. "But I trust that you already knew that part about Santa Clause, right?"
Raven gave him a deadly glare, like he was the real Beast Boy. "What are you?" she asked.
"It doesn't matter," the guide said. "Whether I'm some benevolent supernatural spirit or a part of your own mind with more clarity than what's on the surface, it doesn't matter. I'm here, and I have your own good at heart."
"And that's why you aren't telling me anything."
The guide smiled again. "If I tell you, you won't learn nothing."
"That figures," Raven said.
"So, tell me, why am I Beast Boy?" the guide asked. "I'm curious, why did you make me into Beast Boy?"
"Aren't you supposed to be the guide? Aren't you supposed to know these things?" Raven struggled to keep her emotions and her powers under control.
"Don't worry, you don't have any powers here, so you don't have to keep a lid on them," the guide said, and smiled. "Be as angry at me as you want."
Yeah, while my room where my body is gets thrashed.
"Don't worry about that, either."
"So you can read my mind now?" Raven asked.
"What kind of spirit guide would I be if I couldn't?" the guide said. He ran his hand through his hair. "To answer your first question, yes, I do know the answer to my question, but I would prefer that you answered it for me."
"Why?" Raven asked, even though she knew the answer.
"Because, my dear Rae-Rae, in giving me the answer, you're also giving yourself the answer," the guide said.
" 'Rae-Rae?'" Raven asked.
"A bit over the top?"
Alrighty, then. I tell you why you're Beast Boy, and then I get to go home?" Raven asked.
"You made the rules, whether you realize it or not," the guide said.
"I've got to learn to make less impossible rules," Raven said. "Hey, guide, I've been crass since I've got here. That's not like me."
"Information is changing hands. This conversation is merely how your mind wishes to interpret it. Now, why does your mind interpret me as looking like Beast Boy?"
"Lets see. You look like Beast Boy because…blank," Raven thought out loud.
"A good start."
The guide merely smiled his un-Beast Boy-like smile again.
"You look like Beast boy because…you're my spirit animal, and he turns into animals. No, that's lame. Let's see. What do I think when I think 'Beast Boy?' Video games. Tofu. Bad jokes that I secretly laugh at. That's it! He makes me laugh!"
"Congratulations. You just took the first step in the right direction," The guide said.
"Damn it, this is really pissing me off. Let's see…he makes me laugh, so blank, and because of blank, you are him. Simple enough, but what is blank? Lets try this from the other end. A spirit guide is a powerful, positive thing. Blank is a powerful, positive thing. Making me laugh feeds into blank, which makes sense, because it is also a positive thing, but it's not enough, apparently, so there must be more to blank. There must be more feeding into blank, but what? I keep poking and prodding at blank, but it just won't give, which doesn't make sense if it's such a wonderful, positive thing. God, this is frustrating, I keep trying to see, but it refuses to be anything but vague and slippery! Like some --" Raven's eyes widened. "No."
"Yes," said the guide.
"Like some schoolgirl crush. Love. Blank is love. I'm in love with Beast Boy. But…"
"He is the yin to your yang, the flamboyant to your reclusive, the positive to your negative," the guide said.
"I guess it makes sense if you put it that way," Raven said.
"You have received your bit of truth, and are free to go. Before I fade into nothingness, let me ask you, do you know what you plan to do now?"
"Yes," Raven said, and realized that she did. The outline of her room was beginning to show through the mist, and through the fake Beast Boy.
"Good. Feel free to visit me again if you have any more hard questions that need answers," the spirit guide said, just before he faded completely out and Raven's room faded completely in.
Raven got up and unlocked her door, walking down the hallway, purposeful stride. She got to the living room and saw Robin playing Cyborg in some stupid game. "Where's Beast Boy?" She asked.
"In his room," Cyborg asked.
"Thanx," Raven said, and turned a complete 360, going back the way she came. She Reached Beast Boy's room and knocked.
Beast Boy came to the door. "Oh, hi, Raven. I was actually being quiet for once, so you might want to check the other rooms if your meditation was disturbed."
"No, I've had about all the enlightenment I can handle for one day," Raven said. "Hey, is that a book in your hand?"
"Yeah. Don't tell the others I read, it'll ruin my reputation," Beast Boy said.
"Your secret's safe with me," Raven said. "Hey, is that Edgar Allen Poe? That's some pretty dark stuff."
"I'm trying to culture myself up," Beast Boy admitted. "Hey, this poem has your name on it."
" 'The Raven?'" Raven asked.
"I should have known better than to try to trick you in your own element," Beast Boy owned up.
"How are you liking it?" Raven asked.
"To be quite honest -- I haven't understood a word of it," Beast Boy said. "Something about chamber doors and ravens and lamenting over lost Lenore."
"Good. For a second, I was afraid that you had been taken over by some sort of monster or evil spirit," Raven said.
"So, uh, Raven, why are you here?" Beast Boy asked.
Raven took a deep breath. How did boys do this all the time? "I was just wondering, if you weren't doing anything, if you would like to, that is --" Raven shook herself. "What I mean to say is, would you like to see a movie, just you and me? It's on me."