Just to go over what I mentioned before, this is a humor story. I know that Legolas doesn't really write Fanfiction or any other such grievance you could have so no flames. Okay, do you understand? Good. So, umm keep reading if you want to.
A brief summery is that Legolas, who is furious at the horror of Mary-Sues, writes a fanfic of his own and forces the rest of the Fellowship to listen to him read it. More characters will probably come.
Thanks to my beta, we all have our little problems. Ha!
I don't own Lord Of The Rings nor did I have anything to do with it's creation. If you don't know who created Lord Of The Rings you're in the wrong place. I also don't own Mystery Science Theater 3000, (my inspiration for this, sort of). I don't actually have any idea who owns that. I just know that I own nothing. Nothing!
And then Princess Fluffy Muffy Pink-Sunshine Fairy Wings and Legolas rode off into the sunset together on her Giant Flying Pink tiger.
The real Legolas started crying. He had read too many fanfics to still believe in the goodness of people. He had lost his ability to be brave in the face of the horror that was Mary-Sues.
"They have to be stopped!" Legolas shouted in frustration to the empty library.
"What are you shouting about Legolas?" Elrond asked passing by the door. Legolas looked at the elf lord and saw that he was carrying a stack of blank paper and a quill ready to write.
"I need those," Legolas demanded. Elrond handed them over to the deranged elf. As soon as he had Legolas slammed the library door shut.
"Legolas open up," Elrond called pounding on the door, "I need to look up something in the library!"
But the only response he got was the scribbling of a quill furiously writing. Elrond tried for another fifteen minutes before giving up. Finding more pieces of paper and another quill Elrond began writing letters and sent them out with the fastest messengers he could find.
In Gondor Aragorn and Arwen were taking a nice walk in the garden when a messenger reached them breathing heavily.
"I bring a message from Elrond."
"Well," Aragorn sighed, "let's hear it."
"Dear former member of the Fellowship," a messenger read to Gimli, "help."
"Sounds ominous," Gimli grunted as he grabbed an axe.
"Legolas has snapped," another messenger was reading aloud the hobbits in the shire, "he has gone crazy, lost his mind-"
"I'm not all that shocked to tell you the truth," Pippin said calmly, "elves are so perfect that it would drive anyone insane." Merry and Sam exchanged glances and shook their heads.
"In short Legolas has become insane," the messenger continued.
"Legolas has locked himself in the Rivendell library and has refused to come out."
"He's done what?" Frodo asked shocked.
"It sounds like he's had a breakdown." Gandalf said in wonder with a puff of his pipe.
"The only sound we have heard from Legolas since he's locked himself in the library, besides the sound of a quill writing, has been the occasional burst of malicious laughter." A messenger was reading to a transparent Boromir. "All former members of the Fellowship are called to come and help us make Legolas see reason and give us back our library."
"Well I guess I could go to Rivendell," Boromir mused running a transparent hand through his ghostly hair, "after all there isn't too much for me to do now that I'm dead."
And so a week later the nine members of Fellowship had reunited in Rivendell. Many things had changed. Aragorn and Sam were married (not to each other!), Frodo and Gandalf now lived in the Undying Land, Boromir was a ghost, and Legolas had gone insane and locked himself in a library.
"But at least we're the same lovable hobbits we were back in the good old days," Pippin was saying to Merry and Gimli as the eight members of the Fellowship attempted to get Legolas to come out.
"I don't know Pip," Merry mused, "it's a little boring don't you think?"
"Oh no Master hobbit," Gimli countered, "I prefer to think of it as endearing."
Aragorn knocked loudly on the library door. They all listened but Legolas made no reply. Aragorn tried again.
"Legolas it's Aragorn, and err, Gandalf, Gimli, Boromir, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin. We've all come on Lord Elrond's request to find out what's wrong with you. Will you please open the door."
To their great surprise the blond elf flung the door open. In his hand was a stack of papers. There was a gleam in his eye's as he rounded on the Fellowship.
"It is completed," he announced in a ringing voice.