King Thranduil wasted no time in getting some of the sanest elves left in Rivendell to help him "escort" Legolas back to Mirkwood. This was done for two reasons. One was that Elrond wanted Legolas taken away as soon as possible, and the other being that everyone Legolas had tortured in the library was in a definitely angry mood.
Once in Mirkwood Thranduil had a nice secure and padded room made for Legolas to stay in. He had guards posted at the door at all times of the day and night, with the strictest rule being that no parchment or quills were allowed to be brought inside the special room.
Thranduil also made fanfiction illegal in Mirkwood, the penalty being to be forced to read the remaining bits of Legolas' fanfiction. No one dared to break the rule for fear of the promised punishment.
Meanwhile in Rivendell those who had been subjected to Legolas' fanfiction went into immediate therapy in an attempt to recover some of the sanity they had all lost. This task fell to the Official Shrink of Rivendell, who Elrond had just hired.
The Official Shrink of Rivendell was sitting at his desk, going over some papers with a pinched and worried expression on his face. His assistant came in, but the Shrink did not even look up.
"What are you reading?" The Assistant asked.
"I was told by Lord Elrond to counsel a group of people who have recently gone through, as he phrased it, a trauma. I asked them all to sum up their experience and write it down. What they wrote… well it is disturbing. Have a look." The Assistant bent over to read the papers on the Shrink's desk.
Merry and Pippin:
Listening to Legolas read his fanfiction wasn't really the worst thing, the worst thing was almost starving to death. From now on we will be sure to bring plenty of food with us, just in case we get ambushed by a crazy elf prince who fancies himself a fanfiction writer.
I think this experience has brought Eowyn and I closer together. It has also made me more violent. Much more violent then I ever thought that I could be, even Boromir agrees.
Next time Faramir and I go on a trip it's going to be someplace where nobody from the War of the Ring is. Definitely not anyplace where there are elves, and especially away from a certain elf lord who tricks his so called friends into going into libraries occupied by crazy people.
I have some problems with being dead. I may even resent my nephew for being King now that I'm dead. I especially resent him because he is the reason that I was forced into the craziness. That is why I will be haunting him for the next decade, maybe longer.
Well not too much has changed for me. I still hate Faramir. Maybe I hate him even more…
I have been depressed about my death for a long time, but finally I have found some positive things about being a ghost thanks to Legolas' fanfic. The first thing is that I can escape from insane friends trying to read me something they wrote. The second is that I did not live long enough to succumb to the insanity.
I always knew that the elves were crazy, I mean you spend enough time with them and it becomes pretty obvious. I just never before realized how crazy they could be. I also never realized how disrespectful they could be of a wizard who defeated a Balrog and came back to life just in time to help save all of Middle Earth.
I used to think that humans would be screwed without elves. But now that I have seen the level of insanity to which Legolas sunk, maybe we are all screwed.
I need a vacation.
Galadriel and Celeborn:
We need to begin to protect our borders. It is like when we were worried about Sauron's forces getting through, but now our enemy is craftier. Except that in this situation being able to read minds will be a hindrance rather then a help.
Well I have had locks installed on the library doors and I am teaching everyone about the dangers of the Mary-Sues and their stories. Maybe it will help. Although somehow I doubt it.
Elladan and Elrohir:
We have learned that if we have a bad feeling about something, we should listen to it. Although it has been great since for the first time father can not blame us for being the cause of the mayhem.
Well my husband fell in love with an obsessive child, became helpless without Legolas, fell in love with an army of obsessive girls, and then died. Obviously we have some issues we need to talk about.
You wouldn't see a dwarf going crazy, no matter what horrors he'd read. I'd bet you a sack full of gold that I could read those Sue Stories without going crazy.
Not smelly! Never cheated! Not smelly! Never cheated!
I think that it would be best if I banned fanfiction from the Shire.
If this is why I saved Middle Earth then next time I come across an item that would give evil power over everything, I'm not so sure I will be willing to save everyone. It is not just because they are all lunatics, (though it is one reason). But mostly it is because they have not gratitude for certain nine fingered heroes who saved all of them.
"What evil did these people experience?" The Assistant asked when he had finished.
"I am afraid to ask," The Shrink answered.
Final Author's Note:
I just wanted to once again thank everyone who has read or reviewed. It really has made writing this a real blast. Thank you to everyone! I have loved writing this, and I will miss it. I am planning on wiriting a sequel to this, though my next projects are a Sue-Slayer (on this account), and a Harry Potter story (on my other account). I hope that you have enjoyed the story!