AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
SUMMARY: During Earshot, Buffy & Angel have a moment
SPOILER: EARSHOT! If you've not seen this episode, do not pass go, do not collect $200. Go to Free Parking and sit there until the nice man in the top coat drives by and gives you some money and a TV/VCR combo that has an Earshot tape in it g
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, Joss Whedon does. I'm ticked at him though, 'cause the EPK should be longer! Wait, is that his fault? Maybe, maybe not....
I don't need an aspect from a demon to be able to read her mind. I've been able to read it since I first saw her. It's got nothing to do with telepathy, it comes from my heart.
I guess it's just another curse from the Gypsies. In some ways, I am so thankful for the curse. It's given me the ability to fall in love with this amazing woman, to know what it's like to truly belong with someone.
Of course, it's also allowed me to hurt her more than I ever wanted to hurt anyone, even when I was Angelus. I cared more about physical pain, now that I look back. With Buffy, I broke her heart. Three times, last count.
Sometimes I try to shut myself off from her mind. It gets too hard, trying to go through the day without her and know that she's thinking of me. I must've been in another world when she arrived, because I didn't know she was coming until she hit me with the sunlight.
"Sorry," she said in that cute way she has that's half-applogetic and half grinning. "I just ducked outta school and that's when they have it."
We walked into the apartment, her behind me, and I realized that her mind was concentrating on trying to read mine. Wouldn't that have been an odd thing? To have your own head swimming with your own thoughts from someone else's mind? I think I'm thankful for the fact that she couldn't see what I was thinking. It's safer for her.
We sit on the couch and she babbles endlessly about Faith. Finally, I figure I should tell her that trying to read my mind is like looking into an abyss. Nothingness.
"You can't get into my thoughts."
She gives me that look. The little pout that reminds me no matter how mature she is, no matter what she's already seen and done in her life, she's still eighteen years old. A teenager, with her whole life ahead of her.
"Why not?" she asks with her lip jutted out.
"It's like the mirror. The thoughts are there, but they create no reflection in you."
She continues to pout and I get up, walking over to the table, lean on it. I want to punch through the damn thing because I know she wants to know things about me and she'll never ask them.
"You got your aspect of the demon."
Time passes, we talk about a whole lot of nothing.
"You're not exactly Joe-Here's-What-I'm-Thinkin'."
I shrug. "So ask me."
She turns into the little girl again as I explain to her how I feel. Faith is a thorn in my side, one that unfortunately, I couldn't get out soon enough. I never wanted to hurt you Buffy, I swear to God, I didn't. I don't think I can ever convey that to her. I move back to the couch, but I'm at one end and she's at another. Not the best setup.
"In two hundred and forty-three years I've loved exactly one person."
"Oh." she scoots a bit closer to me on the couch. "It is me, right?"
I give her a small smile. "Next time, just ask."
We go through the typical Hellmouth motions. I warn her about her powers and she teases me about being immortal. She lays against my chest and the only thing I can think about is picking her up, carrying her to my bed and making love to her until the next millennium.
"Angel?" she raises her head. "I wish.....you know." she lays back down, and I realize that maybe, just maybe, she doesn't need telepathy to read my mind.