TITLE: I Don't Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You
AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Buffy has a special task she MUST complete
RATING: TV-PG
SPOILER: Sequel to Mistletoe, which is the sequel to Stocking Stuffers. Both can be found at http://planetslaythishollydays.homestead.com
DISCLAIMER: Everyone belongs to Joss. I belong to no one. Heehee. I love being all powerful. Lyrics are by my babies, my boys, my secret lovers, *NSYNC
WEBSITE: http://planetslaythis.homestead.com
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the last story in this series, the last story I'm writing tonight, the last everything. I'm tired and hungry and I wanna blast my Californication CD and forget it's about to be Christmas, okay? Thank you for your patience.
DEDICATION: Justin Randall Timberlake, for restoring my faith in men. Sort of.
12/23/00


"Well," Buffy said as she stumbled out of the bedroom into the kitchen. "This is the first Christmas ever that my first thought is of coffee."

Willow handed her a mug and smiled. "Your mom's out of town for the first time ever, kind of puts that whole presents thing in a new perspective."

"Considering I got mine a month ago when Mom got a clean bill of health, I think Christmas feels nonexistent."

"But you did do that whole cooking dinner thing yesterday." Willow pointed out.

"And I'll never do it again." she took the stuffing out of the fridge and popped it in the microwave. "Do you have any stronger coffee?"

"That bad, huh?"

"I can't even think. What time is it?"

"Four-thirty."

"Holy shit."

"Everyone else is still asl--"

"What the HELL is that?" Buffy asked, referring to the loud banging on the girls' door.

Willow, Max the Dog slippers and all, went to the door and answered it.

"Angel!" Willow exclaimed. "It's sunny out."

"Where's Buffy?" he burst into the apartment and smiled when he saw her. "Just sit here," he took her hand and tried to pull her to her feet.

"No," she folded her arms across her chest. "Whatever you have to say to me, you can say in the kitchen."

"All right." Angel set his laptop on the counter and clicked a few times. Music began coming from it and Buffy rolled her eyes.

Until Angel began to sing.

"A song isn't going to fix things," Buffy said when he was finished. "Not this time."

"It's fixed it before?" Willow asked no one. She was the only other person awake, not that Buffy or Angel noticed her presence.

Angel clicked on the laptop again and then knelt at Buffy's feet. "Just hear me out. Please."

She sighed. "I really think it's too late this time."

Angel ignored her and began to sing again.


//This is the time of year
That we learn to giveAnd the greatest gift of all
Is learning to forgive.We will have the best time
That we ever knewIf you forgive me
And I forgive you\\


"I can't do it," Buffy admitted. "I can't do it again, I can't rely on you to stay true to our relationship, I can't depend on you. I have no way of knowing that in a week or a month or even a year, you're not gonna freak out and make up some excuse for why we can't be together again."


Angel kept right on singing.


//I don't want to light a fireUnless it will warm your heartI'm playin' no holiday songsI need you to sing your partAnd baby if I could have
Just one wish come trueI don't wanna spend one more Christmas without you\\


"It's too late," Buffy whispered. "I'm sorry."

She got up and started for the bedroom when Angel kept on singing, and his words stung her. She stood in the living room, stunned, trying to figure out the right thing to do.


//It's so hard to believeWe're staring at the endWhen all we think about
Is starting up againWhatever we lost
When we were apartWe'll find it all alone in the dark\\


"I can't," she sat down, and the tears started to come. Angel was already crying, and she remembered the last time she'd seen him cry.

The forgotten day.

Her tears dried and she was angry again.

"Don't make me do this," she begged. "Don't make me remember how much I love you while I'm trying to hate you more than anyone in this world."

Of course, in his usual annoying fashion, Angel kept on singing. Buffy began kneading a pillow with her fingers, and soon, it was full of holes from her fingernails scratching through the fabric.


//I don't wanna light a fireUnless it will warm your heartI'm playin' no holiday songsI need you to sing your partAnd baby if I could have
Just one wish come trueI don't wanna spend one more Christmas without you\\


"Please," Buffy begged. "Please."

"I'm begging too," Angel reminded her before attempting to sing a bridge.


//There's nothing more that I want from youThen to lie here togetherAnd stay here forever with youThere's no one I ever knewThat I wanted to spend Christmas with, more than you\\


Somehow, through all the anger and hate, Buffy felt her resolve melting. She walked slowly over to Angel and fell into his arms, clinging to his chest, sobbing opening as she kneed him in the groin.

"Now *I* feel better," she told him, sniffling.


//I don't want to light a fireUnless it will warm your heartI'm playin' no holiday songsI need you to sing your partAnd baby if I could have just one wish come trueI don't wanna spend one more Christmas without youI don't want to light a fireUnless it will warm your heartI'm playin' no holiday songsI need you to sing your partAnd baby if I could have just one wish come trueI don't wanna spend one more ChristmasI don't wanna spend one more ChristmasI don't wanna spend one more Christmas without you\\


"So are you happy?" Willow asked a few hours later.

"We're working on it," Buffy mumbled in between kisses. That was all she and Angel had done all evening, and it was getting annoying.

*VERY* annoying.

"How bout," Spike suggested while gnawing on a turkey leg, "We throw 'em out into the snow and that oughta cool their bloody asses off?"
"I'm game if you are," Gunn opined.

"You guys, we can't...." Willow looked at the couple, groping each other on the couch.

"I'll get Buffy's right arm," she announced.