On paper fans, overheated jeeps and hungry monkeys

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Warnings/notes: glimmers of Sanzo/Goku, slightly silly, ooc, stuffed with cliches.

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki.

written at 6th november 2005, by Misura, for a request made by Keire Ke in the livejournal-community ficondemand. (The request was for Sanzo/Goku, Hakuryu developing a crush on Sanzo's paper fan, a revelation about what Sanzo keeps in (or up?) his sleeves and a use of the paper fan for something else than hitting Goku.)

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"I'm huuungry!" Goku whined.

"I'm hot!" Gojyo sighed. "Both ways," he added, after a while -just because it wouldn't do for him to say something without being annoying, Sanzo suspected.

"The temperature does seem rather high today." Hakkai agreed, not taking his eyes off what was supposed to be some sort of road. "I'm sure it will be better tomorrow, though."

"How does that help me today?" Gojyo demanded.

"When are we gonna eat?" Goku asked, at the same time.

"Never, if you don't shut up about food for the rest of the day." Sanzo thwapped Goku over the head with his paper fan. "Stupid monkey."

"You might as well have asked him to stop breathing for the rest of the day." Hakkai chuckled. "I hope we'll reach a village in a few hours. We should be able to get provisions and water there."

"Why don't I feel better at hearing that?" Gojyo wondered aloud. "Oh, yeah. We're -lost- so it could just as easily be -days- before we find any kind of village. Even if I don't know what sort of idiots would want to live in a place like this. Maybe they're related to the monkey."

"Hey, it wasn't -my- fault the map got lost!" Goku defended himself. "How could I have known that - "

"Silence!" Sanzo snapped. "I realize that the heat has fried both your brains, but considering you didn't have much of them to start with, I assume that you're at least still able to grasp small, simple words, like 'shut up or die'."

"Ooh, sounds like -someone- is in a bit of a temper. Must be all those layers of clothing. In this weather, you'd have to be bloody insane to - oh, wait, I'm talking about Sanzo here, so 'bloody insane's actually the right description of what he's like." Gojyo smirked. "Or maybe it's just that you need to get laid."

"No, he doesn't!" Goku spoke up, glowering at Gojyo. "Just last night, we - "

"Which part of 'shut up or die' didn't you two morons understand?" Sanzo inquired.

"The part where I said I actually -cared- if you shot me?" Gojyo replied. "Now, what's this about last night?"

"I hate to be so rude as to interrupt this conversation, but I'm afraid we have a problem." Hakkai cleared his throat, before continuing. "Jeep's not entirely immune against the heat either, so unless we want to kill him, we'd best walk for a while. He should be okay again tomorrow morning, though it might be even better if he'd get another day's rest."

"Was I just wondering how this mess could possibly get any worse?" Gojyo grunted. "I guess I know the answer now."

"You're just being lazy!" Goku jumped out of the jeep, in a display of energy that Gojyo found rather disgusting and showy. "I could walk for days and days without getting tired."

"Oh yeah? Without any food?" Gojyo baited him.

"Stop talking and start walking." Sanzo turned to Hakkai. "I assume you have at least some idea in which direction we should go?"

Hakkai nodded. "Hakuryu detects a settlement not too far to the north from here. He can guide us."

"If we're almost in a village, can I have something to eat?" Goku took a short spurt to end up walking next to Sanzo, who'd grabbed the bag that contained their provisions and waterbottles on the first day of their trip through the desert. "C'mon, Sanzo! We can buy new food soon! And I'm hungry!"

"Morons just never get any smarter, do they?" Gojyo commented to Hakkai.

"You can eat in the village, like the rest of us," Sanzo grumbled.

"But I'm hungry -now-!" Goku complained, only to get hit over the head by Sanzo.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Gojyo asked Hakkai, who stared at him slightly puzzled.

"I suppose that that would depend on what you're seeing." Hakkai smiled. "If you're referring to Sanzo and Goku acting like their usual selves, in spite of - "

"The fan!" Gojyo interrupted him. "Think, Hakkai! It's a fan!"

"That would seem logical, yes." Hakkai, Gojyo decided, was obviously suffering from the heat.

"Sanzo! Gimme that fan of yours!" Gojyo made a grab for the object in question, which was still in Sanzo's hand, perhaps in case one whack wouldn't be enough to discourage Goku. "I need it!"

"Have you gone nuts?" Sanzo waved his fan in the air, coming perilously close to having Gojyo tackle him. Hakuryu, having turned around to see what was keeping Hakkai, whistled and dove at the fan. "What's going on around here?"

"I feel fine." Goku looked pensive. "No, wait, I - "

"Lemme guess: you're hungry." Gojyo growled. "Now, Sanzo, be reasonable for once. It's friggin' hot, and you're not doing anything with that fan except for beating the monkey. I only want to borrow it for a while. You'll get it back, promise."

"No." Sanzo turned his back on Gojyo and resumed walking.

"Fine, have it your way, priest." Gojyo threw himself at Sanzo, who was taken by surprise and hit the sand with a curse, while the fan had slipped out of his hand.

In all likeliness, it would have landed in the sand to be picked up by either Hakkai or Goku, had not Hakuryu intercepted it, making a pleased sound as it flew off.

"My fan!" Gojyo rolled off Sanzo, escaping a certain death and started after Hakuryu.

"Hakuryu! Wait!" Hakkai hesitated briefly, before he followed Gojyo.

Goku glanced at Sanzo, who calmly got up and shook the sand out of his clothes. "Aren't you gonna run after Gojyo, too?"

Sanzo shrugged.

Goku licked his lips. "Gojyo and Hakkai probably won't be back any time soon."

Sanzo shrugged again.

Goku took two steps in his direction, standing close enough now to have to do nothing but lean forwards in order to touch Sanzo. "It's just the two of us, for now."

Sanzo said nothing.

Goku reached out his hand to Sanzo's shoulder. "Gimme something to eat!"

Sanzo thwapped him over the head with his paper fan. "Why don't -you- run after Gojyo, stupid monkey? That fan-thieving dragon was flying in the direction of a settlement anyway, so you should find food there soon enough."

Goku pouted. "You're mean, Sanzo."

"Tell someone who gives a damn." Sanzo studied the sky.

"Race you to the village?" Goku asked hopefully.

Sanzo merely snorted in reply, watching Goku as he ran off, not even having waited for Sanzo's answer. Once Goku had disappeared from sight, Sanzo's hand vanished again into the wide sleeves of his priest's costume, to come out again holding a can of beer.

Drinking it slowly, Sanzo wondered when his travel-companions would find out about the special properties of a Sanzo-priest's robes, and when Goku'd catch on to the fact that Sanzo carried more than one paper fan with him.

(If he was any judge, the answer would probably be 'never'.)

OWARI