Drusilla loves
Many things.
She loves
Vacuum cleaners.
She loves
Cattle prods.
She loves
Chainsaws,
Lovely, noisy
Chainsaws.
Best of all,
Drusilla
Loves
The telephone.
Better than
Her Daddy,
Better than
Her Dark Star-
So there!

Mr. Telephone is
A good provider,
Better than
Her Dark Star.
Better than
Her Daddy!
Best of all
Drusilla
Always knows
Where he is:
On the little table
By the door
Of the house
Drusilla stole all
By herself.
So there!

Tonight Drusilla is
Hungry for Italian
So Drusilla
Looks in the book
With yellow pages-
Then she orders a pizza.
Italy comes
Right to her door!
Lovely, like ice cream
With pink sprinkles
And dead flies!
Afterwards,
She has the pizza
For dessert.
So there!

Now Drusilla
Craves Chinese.
So Drusilla
Looks in the book
With yellow pages-
Then she orders
Moo Goo
Gai Pan,
Sweet and sour pork,
Or Peking Duck–
Drusilla isn't fussy,
She'll eat whomever
Mr. Telephone
Sends her.
So there!

Chinese is vexing:
She's hungry again!
So Drusilla
Looks in the book
With yellow pages-
And orders a sandwich.
Drusilla loves
Submarines.
They are long and
Naughty looking,
And are bigger
Than Daddy or
Her Dark Star-
Submarines
Taste nicer too,
And come with
Hot mustard.
So there!

Go ahead, Dark Star!
Keep your nasty old
Chip, Drusilla will
Eat ones that taste
Of sour cream and onions
And the nice
Man who brought them.
Go ahead, Daddy!
Pretend to be good
To your nasty heart's
Content, burning
Your Drusilla
And Grandmummy
All up;
Drusilla hopes
You both trip
And land
On something sharp,
Like a Slayer.
So there!

Drusilla doesn't need
Her Dark Star.
Drusilla doesn't need
Her Daddy.
No, not at all,
Not for a trillion
Million billion
Cheesy breadsticks
With tomato sauce
And the man who
Brought them:
She has Mr. Telephone.
He's a marvelous provider.
Much better than you,
Dark Star…
Much better than you,
Daddy…
So there!