Rejection

By forbiddenlight

Featuring the song "Left Outside Alone" from Anastasia.

Disclaimer: I do not own this song, nor Harry Potter.

A single tear rolled down her face as she pushed a lock of blonde hair out of her eyes. She was staring out the window, and for the first time in her entire life, her mind wasn't drifting off into space.

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairy tale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe

Another tear followed the first and soon she was all-out silently sobbing onto the stone windowsill. She laid her head in her arms and cried- cried for the love she'd never gotten, for the love she'd always felt.

How could he do this to her? How could he break her heart when she felt affections for him she'd never felt for anyone in her entire life? She wished, for the most selfish reason ever, that her mother wasn't dead. That she was alive and here to give advice to her only daughter about the opposite sex.

Left broken empty in despair
Wanna breath can't find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way

She wished with all her heart that things hadn't turned out the way they had. That Ron had never turned her down the way he had. That she and him could be a couple. That she wasn't weird and different. That she was popular and beautiful. But no. She was just alone.

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

And suddenly a sense of hatred filled her body. She wanted to give Ron the pain she felt. She wanted him to feel as she did- ugly, judged, nothing…

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray

Luna waited until the sobs had subsided before finally laying down on her bed. Everyone was down in the Great Hall at the feast, enjoying their second-to-last meal before tomorrow came, at which time they would all leave Hogwarts to go home.

Home. That was one word Luna enjoyed hearing. But as much as rejection had hurt her, she still really, really liked Ron. When she went home she'd never see him again.

She remembered what Padma Patil, a girl in Ron's year who often took pity on her (she pretended to be Luna's friend, when Luna knew exactly why Padma actually noticed her) had said when Luna had told her about her feelings. About how Ron would probably use her. Luna doubted that…

But what if he liked her? What if he was playing hard to get?

Why do you play me like a game?
Always someone else to blame
Careless, helpless little man
Someday you might understand
There's not much more to say
But I hope you find a way

Still I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone
I'll tell you

Another tear rolled down Luna's cheek as she stared up at the ceiling. She'd spent so much time thinking about him, dreaming about him… Was this how it ends? How love ends, painfully stopped suddenly and locked away at the back of your head to haunt you for the rest of your life? Was this rejection?

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray

Yes… Luna told herself sadly. Yes, it is rejection. And he rejected me. In front of everyone. Why did I think he'd say yes if I asked him in front of all his friends? WHY?

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray

And as another series of tears began to cascade down her cheeks, Luna rolled over and cried, cried, cried.

forbiddenlight