A/N: Please realize that I wrote this while I was reviewing for a test in German. I was bored, but not entirely focused. A lot of things may happen in here that don't make sense, like the genie, for example. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I just wrote whatever popped into my mind at the time. This was for my amusement. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own none of the Johnny Depp characters.

It was chaos in the bedroom that I shared with my sister (she wasn't home yet). When the hip, jazzy, super-cool, neat, keen, and groovy cat genie allowed me to have one wish and I had asked for all of my favorite Johnny Depp characters, I never thought that having them together would be so horrible…

"No, NO! Jack, there is no rum in my sister's underwear drawer!" I screamed, jumping over my bed and Mort Rainey, who was apparently muttering to himself on the floor, hugging his knees.

"Just checking, love!" Captain Jack Sparrow gave me a cheeky grin. I had the feeling he didn't really care at the moment where his rum was.

"Hey, Jen?" Agent Sands called, lounging on my sister's bed. "Where's the alcohol in this messed up party?"

"This isn't a party," I told him.

"Then why is that freak carrying a sh-"

"Sands…" I warned.

"FINE! A crap load of candy!"

I looked to where he was pointing. Willy Wonka was moving further away from Edward Scissorhands, holding his armful of Wonka chocolate to his chest, backing into the wall. Poor little Eddie didn't notice the scared look on Willy's face, so he continued to talk animatedly to him, using his scissor hands for emphasis.

Willy saw me looking at him. "Help me, little girl!" he cried. "The monster is trying to kill me!"

I sighed and began walking towards them. I was about to place my right hand on Edward's shoulder.


"Yes, Jen?" He whipped around, his scissor hands cutting into my reached out hand.

"E-OW!" I screamed.

"Oh my gosh! Jen, I'm sorry!" Edward cried, his cute little face scrunched up in worried, making my heart melt.

"It's okay," I assured him. "I'll just clean it up."

"Allow me, darling," Jack said behind me. He held a bottle of rum. Where in the world did he get that?

"No, thanks," I said, holding my injured hand closer to myself. "I've got Vaseline…"

I backed myself into Ichabod Crane.

"Oh, my dear girl, whatever has happened to you!" he asked, shocked at the sight of blood on my hand.

"It's a little cut-"

"I hurt her!" Edward said piteously.

"You did what!" Sands got up, took out his gun, and pointed it at Edward.

"No, Sands!" I cried.

Jack stepped in front of Sands, pulling out his own gun (where did they get that too?). "The boy already apologized. Back away now."

An intruder would think this was a rehearsal for a Western movie.

"Sands, Jack," I said weakly. But then I thought about it. My favorite movie characters were about to have a fight. This was something I had to see!

"Jen!" I heard my mother call me from the kitchen. "Dinner is ready!"

I sighed. "Sorry, guys, but you'll have to do this later. Time to eat."

Sands and Jack grumbled as they put away their guns. Ichabod helped Mort up, quietly talking to him. Mort suddenly started laughing insanely. Ichabod moved slowly away. Willy was gently getting used to Edward. He was talking excitedly to Ed, who looked very interested in what he was hearing.

"The waterfall is most important. Mixes up the chocolate. Churns it up. Makes it light and frothy…"

I laughed to myself. They were all so cute.

I went to clean my cut in the bathroom. I locked the door (guys were in the house, I needed my privacy.) I got out the Vaseline. Suddenly, my right arm was being tugged at. It was Jack. He was grinning.

"Would you be needing any assistance there, love?"