SIMPLY ABSURD!

Author: Lu

Pairings: Spike/Buffy (Obvious!), and..

Disclaimer: I know, I know, they're not mine ( sigh) Joss owns everything and everyone. Plus, thank you to the writer of ' School Hard', and a big part of Season 2, too ( and also a bit of Season 1 and other stuff, too).. Anyway, let me give you an advice, before you begin reading... forget Joss' Season 2!

Thanks to: my wonderful beta Maribel, as always!

Setting: This is an AU fic. In this story Angel didn't arrive to Sunnydale on the beginning and he had never watched over Buffy at L.A., so he doesn't know her; and although Buffy is the Slayer, in certain aspects she is more like the cheering and a little bit flighty girl she was before becoming the Chosen One.

Summary: Watching 'School Hard' for the umpteenth time, I wondered 'What if things went a little bit differently?'

And title says everything.

Yeah, I know, lots of people have already wrote about it, but believe me, this one is kinda different... so if I were you I'd give it a chance! ;)

Of course, there's a lot of drama, angst, tragedy… who am I kidding? If you need a good laugh, this story may be the answer to your prayers! ;-)

Chapter 1: Looking for you

Spike mowed down the Welcome to Sunnydale sign with his car as he entered the city limits on his way to what would become his new abode.

Once he got there, he made sure that all the other vampires understood whom they were dealing with and that they'd better not interfere while he tried to earn the Anointed One's trust, or the Annoying One, as Spike mockingly called him behind his back.

After settling Drusilla on what would be their room, Spike had shot off on a reconnaissance with just one goal, to find the Slayer.

After all, he had hereby sworn to his beloved Princess that he would kill the Slayer for her and then they would dance over her grave.

But it wasn't his style to rush into anything; it was always better to know his enemy and her weaknesses before facing her.

The other vampires on the lair had informed him about the places that the young people preferred to attend.

Since there weren'tthat many in Sunnydale, it wouldn't take him long to find her. Not that he knew how she looked like, because he had preferred not to know anything about her appearance. He wanted to find out who she was on his own.

With the absolute certainty that she was there, he had decided to go to the coolest pub in that town, the Bronze.

Although that pub was crowded, his supernatural sense had made him fix his icy stare on a table where two girls, a redhead and a blonde, were chatting.

Oddly, he had chosen to concentrate just on the blonde.

There was something different about her, something exciting and maybe a bit dangerous.

He couldn't be wrong; she must be the Slayer.

But to be sure, he still had something to do.

In the meantime, the two girls were talking animatedly.

"Look, Will, the most popular crowd from Sunnydale High is here tonight, the football captain, the basket and water polo captains, and they are all at Cordelia Chase and Harmony Kendall's feet, the school queens, grrrr!" Buffy snapped.

"Yeah, but not only them, Xander is there also... he claims he does it just to annoy Cordelia. But he spends much more time with a girl that he supposedly hates... than with me. After all, I'm just his best friend…I'll never be anything more to him" Willow sighed upset.

"You know what? Xander doesn't deserve you. And I shouldn't waste my time thinking about those big idiots! Ok, they are popular, but they are so shallow... I want a guy that's different..."

"Such as?" Willow asked.

"I don't know. Maybe one that's a little bit older than me, a guy with a temper that can challenge mine... a handsome man with dark appeal, maybe surrounded by mystery... a guy that could take my breath away at first sight..." Buffy sighed. "But you know what, Will? Those kind of things just happen in the movies..." she added upset, as Willow seemed more and more distracted, looking somewhere else.

"Buffy, it seems that your desire has materialized, and he's been staring at you for a while..."

Willow hadn't finished saying that when Buffy had already turned to look around, fixing her gaze on the blue eyes of a mysterious and fascinating stranger, but only for a second before turning back to her friend.

"Oh, Will, he's gorgeous... and he's staring at me!" she exulted in a whisper, very pleased by that fact.

"Well, if you are so lucky, why don't you buy a ticket and win the lottery?" the redhead commented, maybe a little bit envious due to the fact that the blond guy's attention was only for her friend.

"Believe me, if I have a chance with that guy... I've already won the lottery!" the other girl smiled, getting up and dragging her friend to the dance floor.

"Why didn't you remain at the table?" Willow asked, frowning.

"Oh, seems I have to teach you everything. This is a female tactic, make the boy want you more.." she explained, dancing very sensually, as the other girl confined herself just to swing and smile.

"Is he still watching?" Buffy asked, not wanting to give the guy the impression that she cared.

"You bet, he only has eyes for you... Oh, god... he's coming here!" Willow warned her, and Buffy looked at him briefly without stopping her dance.

Spike moved towards her, but then instead of walking to the dance floor he headed towards the bar, where he found one of his minions.

"Go get something to eat.." he ordered him, and then he moved closer to some people dancing nearby the two girls, sure that the blonde would be able to hear him.

"Where's the phone? I need to call the police. There's one big guy out there trying to bite somebody..." he explained out loud, articulating every word, and then he began leaving, sure that the blonde girl would follow.

"Oh no, Buffy, did you heard?" Willow said alarmed.

"Yeah, I have to do something: he's leaving!" Buffy said equally alarmed.

"Will, check in my bag. There you'll find some stakes, take them and go face that vampire outside..." Buffy instructed her, leaving the dance floor as her friend followed her .

"Me , alone! You are kidding, right?" she retorted, shocked.

"Oh, c'mon, you've seen me doing it thousands of times. I'm sure you can deal with him... please, just for this time... go, and if you need help, scream. I'll be there in a heartbeat. But now, sorry, I'm on a mission!" she insisted, disappearing as quickly as she could, as Willow came back to their table to retrieve the stakes from Buffy's bag and throw herself in what could be a reckless but also very exciting adventure.

"I can do it, I can do it, I can do it!" she carried on repeating as a mantra, as she reached the back exit.

Spike had gotten distracted for a moment and he lost sight of the blonde girl.

Sure that she was already at the back exit, he was about to leave, when she astonished him by appearing right in front of him, in all her gorgeousness.

"Hi, am I wrong… or you were looking for me?" Buffy played the coquette, flashing him a captivating smile, as she discovered that up close he was even more beautiful than from afar, but also that he seemed to be very pale.

But that wasn't a physical defect, quite the contrary!

No rash conclusions, Buffy, there are so many people that don't like sunbathing and sunray lamps... she thought.

TBC

If you don't know it yet, I hope you'll like it..