Note: A quick response to apoptosis's challenge over at the KP Slash Haven board. The idea is that Kim and Shego wake up next to each other, and to describe their immediate reactions. I chose to take the silly route. There are no drugs involved. But by the end, you might think there were, or should've been.
Fanart Alert!: I am a naughty, bad writer. Because someone made some fanart for this story AGES ago, and I never got around to saying so, partially because I know that FFNet chews up links and spits them out, but mostly because I rarely ever go back and update older stories. So I must offer ridiculously huge and gigantically enormous apologies to fortheloveofpizza, possibly the only artist to ever be inspired to illustrate a scene from one of my favorite stories. You can check her out at fortheloveofpizza-dot-deviantart-dot-com. The actual fanart can be found deep within the Kigo folder (okay, page 2 last I checked), and is appropriately titled "Shego-roo" because that's just a badical name that no one can top. Um. Anyway.
Summary: Shego inadvertently discovers that Kim has a SLIGHT emotional disorder.
A Kim Possible Ficlet by
Nate Grey (XMAN0123-at-aol-dot-com)
It was stupid, really.
But Shego rarely questioned the wisdom of her assignments when the price was right, as it had been this particular time.
It was all Drakken's fault, him and his constant talk of "outsourcing" and how great it was. It was hardly Shego's fault that she'd finally decided to listen. So, on little more than a whim, she'd contacted DNAmy, to see if she needed something done for a considerable price, since Drakken was currently occupied with his "I Hate Kim Possible" chatroom.
As it turned out, there was something DNAmy wanted done, and she was willing to pay top dollar for it. She was looking to rebuild her collection of Cuddle Buddies, and there was one in particular that she just had to have.
She wanted Kim Possible's Pandaroo.
It probably would've been best to wait while Kim was at school, or on a mission. But that would've been too easy, and Shego liked challenging herself. And what could be more challenging than slipping into Kim Possible's bedroom to steal something she currently had her arms wrapped around?
The alarm system and the window were easily taken care of, but then Kim's family was more like to rely on Kim herself for protection than anything else. If it came to that, Shego was fully confident that she could knock Kim out without too much trouble. There was no way a flimsy nightie would absorb blows as well as Kim's mission gear did, at least.
Kim hadn't moved in the whole time that Shego had been at the window, which hadn't been that long, but was still a good sign. Perhaps that made Shego a little too cocky as she crept towards the bed, but all things considered, something was bound to.
Shego took a moment to stare at her target, or so she told herself. Finally, she debated whether she should just go for the plushie, or try to restrain Kim first. She didn't want Kim to wake up in attack mode; the plushie might get tossed around, and DNAmy had insisted that the only damage to Pandaroo come from years of Kim's love. On the other hand, if Shego was fast enough, she could probably snatch Pandaroo and be at the window before Kim knew what was happening. Only then, Kim might actually chase Shego, so it was probably better to disable her first.
A minute of searching rewarded Shego with a multitude of mission footwear, from sneakers to combat boots, and more importantly, plenty of shoelaces. Shego quickly fashioned a shoelace-chain that slipped easily around Kim's ankles, careful to make it tight enough that Kim's motion would be restricted, but not so tight that she woke up at once. From there, Shego moved on to acquiring her target.
Pandaroo was still trapped securely within Kim's arms.
Smirking, Shego seized the plushie's head and began to work it out of Kim's grasp with a series of light tugs. Pandaroo's feet had almost cleared Kim's arms when she rolled over suddenly, dragging Pandaroo and Shego with her. Shego ended up leaning precariously over Kim's body, not touching her but closer than was wise.
After a long moment, Shego renewed her tugs, but Pandaroo was now held in place by the additional pressure of Kim's chin on his head. Growing frustrated, Shego let go, and, at a temporary loss, began to move away from the bed to rethink her strategy. As she did so, her fingers accidentally brushed Kim's arm, and to her great surprise, Kim let out a soft sigh and loosened her grip a bit.
Thus inspired, Shego began to lightly stroke Kim's arm with her fingertips, her grin growing wider as Kim gradually eased her hold on her beloved plushie. Once Kim had completely relaxed her arms, Shego grabbed Pandaroo's head again and carefully drew him up and away from Kim's arms. She only had time to celebrate her victory for a second, because in the next, Kim's feet flew up and caught her in the back of the neck, and Shego collapsed forward onto Kim, her vision swallowed up by darkness.
"Shego, wake up."
Shego grunted and slowly opened her eyes, only to find Kim staring at her. "Ah, crap."
"We need to talk," Kim said seriously.
It was then that Shego noticed several things. She was still holding Pandaroo. Kim's arms were now wrapped around her neck. Kim didn't seem all that bothered by the fact that she was embracing a thief. All of which led Shego to believe this just might be a dream, or a hallucination. So she reached up and pinched Kim's arm.
"Sorry," Shego said unconvincingly.
Kim glared at her. "You're supposed to pinch yourself when you want to find out if you're dreaming."
"Yeah, well, I owed you for kicking me in the head."
"You obviously tried to steal my Pandaroo!" Kim countered. "Steal your own! There's plenty of others!"
"But I've already got THIS one," Shego pointed out reasonably.
"Actually, unless you plan to come here every night so I can hold you, you don't!" Kim snapped.
"I...say what?" Shego asked blankly.
Kim's cheeks turned bright red. "You heard me," she muttered.
"Oh, I heard you. I just don't believe what I heard. I didn't know you were into girls, Kimmie."
"I'm not!" Kim protested. "I just...have certain...needs, is all."
Shego chuckled. "You don't have to explain it to me. We all get that...itch from time to time..."
"No, no, no!" Kim cried, her face going red again. "That's not what I meant, Shego!"
"Sure, Pumpkin. Whatever you say. Just keep in mind that you're the one hugging me."
Kim bit her lip. "I have...a condition," she said at last.
"It's more of a sexual preference, actually," Shego pointed out.
"You don't understand. I'm...I'm...nocturnally emotionally insecure," Kim murmured, lowering her head.
"Uh huh," Shego said, clearly not believing her.
"I am!" Kim insisted. "I...I have to hold onto something or someone when I go to bed, or I get-"
"Violent?" Shego guessed.
"Well...I was going to say fidgety," Kim replied uncertainly.
"Well, you 'fidgeted' your feet right into my head, you'll forgive me if I stick with 'violent,' okay?" Shego snapped.
"That's your fault for swiping my Pandaroo! You got what you deserved!"
"Obviously I didn't know about your little condition then!"
"The point is, you can't take my Pandaroo," Kim said once she'd calmed down. "I need him."
"DNAmy wants your Pandaroo, and she paid me to get him. So I need him more," Shego replied.
"You'd really still take him?" Kim asked in surprise. "Knowing how much I need him?"
"You don't need HIM," Shego pointed out. "You just need something to hold. You said as much."
"But I don't HAVE anything else that's as soft or..." Kim trailed off suddenly, staring at Shego.
"What?" Shego demanded. "Why are you...looking...oh, HELL no. I am NOT coming back here every night just because you need to cuddle!"
"You didn't disagree the first time I mentioned it."
"Because I thought you were kidding! Or just insane!"
"Shego, you OWE me! You're going to take my Pandaroo! The least you can do is replace him as my Cuddle Buddy!"
"Tell me you did NOT just call me a Cuddle Buddy!"
"You're at least TWICE as cuddly as he is!"
"I...really? NO! You're trying to trick me!"
"Shego, please? I wouldn't tell anyone! It would be our little secret! I could even leave the window open for you!"
"Now, you listen to me," Shego growled. "I am NOT a Cuddle Buddy. I am NOT coming back here every night so I can be treated like one, either! I am going to get out of this bed, and I am going to steal your stupid little Pandaroo! And if you try to stop me, I am going to knock you out, and then I am going to steal ANOTHER Pandaroo, just so I can send you bits and pieces of the little mutant in the mail! Now, GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF OF ME!"
Her lip trembling mightily, Kim did as Shego ordered.
For Shego's part, she did her best to ignore the whimpering that had turned to full-on blubbering by the time she'd reached the window. Although it was bit harder to ignore the heartbroken wailing by the time she'd reached the ground.
"Stupid little freak," Shego muttered, glaring at Pandaroo.
For the first time in a long time, Kim Possible was forced to go to bed without her Pandaroo. She'd tried to get another express mailed the very same day, but it was not to be. Ironically, the only thing in stock were Otterflies, and Kim had been left with no other choice but to order DNAmy's preferred Cuddle Buddy. While she had to admit it was adorable, it just wasn't her old pal Pandaroo.
Or Shego, for that matter.
The separation anxiety had eventually forced Kim to admit that she wouldn't have minded holding Shego again. When she'd woken up to find the thief in her bed, at first she'd been shocked, then angry, and finally...pleased. Shego had been rather nice to hold, until Kim had decided to wake her up. She'd even allowed herself to hope that Shego might actually agree to become her personal Cuddle Buddy, at least at night. If Shego hadn't blown up when she had, Kim was even prepared to offer her allowance as payment. It wasn't much, especially if DNAmy had hired Shego, but Kim had hoped Shego would at least appreciate the sentiment.
She had hoped her well-being would mean more to Shego. Clearly, this was not the case.
"Guess it's just you and me tonight, Otterfly," Kim sighed. "I never thought I'd say this, but I really wish Shego was here. She's...mean, and rotten, but...I still miss her. I'm sure there's good things about her, if she'd just give me a chance to find out what they are."
"It's bad enough you still sleep with them, but you talk to them, too?" Shego asked in disgust from the window.
Kim spun around. "Shego! How...how long have you been there...?"
"Long enough to discover I'm mean and rotten," Shego replied, glaring at her.
"Well, you are! You took my Pandaroo, you yelled at me, and then you just left like that..."
Shego actually looked uncomfortable. "It was a job. I told you that."
"I told you what I needed, and you didn't even care, Shego!" Kim cried.
"I'm your enemy, I'm not supposed to care!" Shego shouted.
"Then why are you here?" Kim demanded.
"I...I...brought you something," Shego muttered. "Five thousand in cash. More than enough to get another stupid Pandaroo."
"I don't want another," Kim stated. "It was either mine or you, and he's gone. So unless you've come to reconsider my offer, you can just go."
"Kimmie, just take the money-"
"I don't want it, Shego. Just go already. I have nothing more to say to you." Kim turned her back on Shego and waited.
"Okay, FINE!" Shego shouted. "I'll do it, but you are never going to tell ANYONE about this!"
Kim slowly turned around. "You'll do what?"
"I'll...I'll be your damned Cuddle Buddy," Shego murmured.
Kim stared at her in wonder. "But...you said you didn't care-"
"Hel-lo? I was LYING!"
"Really?" Kim asked softly.
"Stop LOOKING at me like that!"
"Sorry! I just...you never-"
"Are we doing this or not?"
"Right. Okay. There's...just one little thing, really...a very small thing, Shego. I promise."
"Just get it over with, Kimmie."
"You have to wear this sign while you're here," Kim said in a rush, handing Shego a sticky note.
"'Kimmie's New Cuddle Buddy. Do Not Throw Out or Have Arrested.' What is this?"
"My parents check on me sometimes," Kim said. "This is just so there's no trouble."
Shego glared at her again. "And you get no pleasure out of this whatsoever."
"Perish the thought...Shego-roo."
"The HELL did you just call me?"
"You're my new Cuddle Buddy. You have to have a corresponding cutesy name or it's not official."
"And the best you can come up with is...is THAT?"
"You don't like it?" Kim asked softly, pouting a bit.
"No, I DON'T like it." Shego avoided Kim's eyes. "But I guess that's not the point."
Kim smiled and slipped her arms around Shego. "You're the best Cuddle Buddy ever."
"You better not snore, Kimmie..."
Endnote: I wrote this over a couple of hours, in between doing various things. I know it couldn't happen, just wanted to do a silly, fluffy Kigo fic. The Kigo plot bunnies made me do it. They're green and they glow. Maliciously, when you don't do as they say. And who wants to be glowed at? Not I.