Author's Note ---- Yay for me! Though I have other EdxRoy fics started right now, this is the first one to be finished! It's quite short so it's a one-shot and it's a bit on the dark side, but I'm still happy that I managed to write a romance piece.
However, the pairing for this one-shot is RoyxEd meaning that it's yaoi. If you don't like yaoi (malexmale love) or this pairing, then I suggest you use the back button.
Genre: Angst, romance, yaoi.
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.
Warnings: Yaoi/shonen-ai. There's nothing overly sexual or any swearing, so it's work safe. Rated just to be safe.
Summary: He whimpers in his sleep, his face stricken with fear, his small body curled into a tight, sometimes shivering, ball as his hands clutch tightly to the bed sheets and the pillows.
Constructive criticism welcome! No flaming, and if you don't like yaoi then kindly leave now. Now, enjoy!
At certain times, there's a darkness in his eyes that even he can't hide.
It doesn't scare Roy, no, it's Edward who's scared, but Roy is the one who sees it. It's uncanny to see that darkness, so eerie and dreadful, like happiness is merely a myth. Those golden eyes are like that when he wakes from a nightmare. Roy sees them very often.
He whimpers in his sleep, his face stricken with fear, his small body curled into a tight, sometimes shivering, ball as his hands clutch tightly to the bed sheets and the pillows. When the nightmares become threatening and drive him off the edge, Edward awakes in a loud scream. He either bolts straight up or falls off the bed completely, but both ways he is covered in cold sweat and breathing unsteadily.
It's happened again tonight, and Edward is lying on the floor, shaking and mumbling incoherent nonsense. He mumbles when his nightmares drive him far past his comfort zone.
The scream doesn't only reach Edward's ears, it also wakes up the man next to him. Roy is patient, and he doesn't complain that Edward's nightmares keep him awake as well.
The loud thump of Edward hitting the floor caused a pang of worry to run through him. Roy slips out of bed and kneels on the floor next to the shaking Edward, gently running his hand over his head, stroking his damp, blonde hair gently. "Shh… Shh…" His voice is soothing and calm, but Edward still doesn't respond.
Roy slowly wraps his arms around Edward's waist and pulls him in a sitting position, the younger man limp against his chest. Edward's pale skin is cold, wet, and sticky from sweat, and his body shivers. There is a red lump forming on his head from where he had hit his head against the nightstand when he fell, and Roy is careful not to touch the throbbing spot. For a while, Edward doesn't respond at all to Roy, which worries him.
The darkness that finds its way to Edward's eyes shows fear, sorrow, hate and desperation. Roy calls the eyes Dread, because that's exactly what they portray. They've stayed much longer tonight than any other night.
"Edward?" Roy asks softly, still stroking Edward's hair and cold cheeks. "Edward, say something."
Edward moves a slight bit, pressing his shivering body closer to Roy's. He still says nothing. Even in the dark, Roy can see the tearstains on Edward's pale cheeks. Suddenly he feels Edward's arms sling around his neck, metal and flesh fists clenching the back of Roy's pajama shirt in tight fistfuls, burying his face into his shoulder. His hands are so cold, Roy feels no difference between the automail and flesh.
"Roy…" Edward's voice is muffled, but Roy's ears have become used to Edward's mumbles by now. "Yes, Edward?"
"Roy… Roy… Roy…" Edward repeats his name unsteadily, incoherent.
"What was the dream about tonight, Edward? You aren't acting… normal."
The smaller alchemist shudders and tightens his grip. "Roy…"
Roy says nothing, not knowing how to coax the boy out of this one. Edward usually did mutter his name when he was scared, but he had never refused to say anything but it.
"Roy… Roy was…"
"Roy was what?" He encouraged softly, wanting for his younger lover to be happy again.
Edward didn't say anything and Roy had thought for a moment that he may not have heard him. Or if he had, was disinclined to say what it was.
Roy lovingly nuzzled Edward's head, not being able to reach his cheek because Edward refused to lift his head from Roy's shoulder. "I'm right here, I would never leave you. Roy's not gone."
"No, no, no! You were killed! Not coming back!" Edward shouted, pounding on Roy's back. His fists were uncharacteristically weak. "And no one but I even cared… Even Al… Winry… Hawkeye… Hughes…Mother…" The list of names went on until Edward's voice had become so low even Roy couldn't decipher it. His shoulder felt damp, leading him to the realization that Edward was crying.
"Hush. It was only a dream, only a dream…"
"They said I was stupid for caring about you… They said they didn't like you anyways… They said that I deserved to be alone… And Mom, she was there. She was mad at me, for being with you, and she was crying. She said that she was ashamed to be my mother, and that I couldn't do anything right… that I couldn't make her right… And she… she… fell apart… it looked like, it looked like that day…"
Roy felt an awful wrench in heart at knowing that Edward had dreamt of an amplified version of the most fearsome day in his life. Edward rambled on and on, and Roy soon came to realize that all these mumbled things were Edward's deepest fears. He held him closer, as if willing the thoughts to float away.
After a moment, Roy had managed to lift Edward's head from his shoulder and gazed down at the tearstained face of his young lover, Roy's soft features showing the sympathy he felt for Edward. Wiping away a stray tear, Roy gently spoke to him.
"I'm not going to leave you, and what those people said isn't true. It wasn't real, any of it. Don't believe in your nightmares." Roy was going to add that Edward was strong and could overcome it, but decided against it. It wasn't that it wasn't true, Edward was a very strong person, but it was because Roy knew how weak the younger man could be emotionally. How weak he felt now.
Edward just stared up at Roy with sad eyes, not saying a word. He felt disoriented and afraid, and his mind was racing… then he felt a pair of warm lips gently brush against his own cold ones and the screaming of his mind's voice suddenly was reduced to a tolerable level. "Edward, its okay…" Roy said kindly before pressing against him a little harder, running his tongue over Edward's bottom lip. "It's okay."
His eyes softening, Edward instinctively parted his lips, allowing Roy's familiar tongue to enter his mouth. Roy wasn't used to feeling very little movement out of Edward when they kissed. But when Roy opened his eyes, he could see Edward's closed eyes and the gentle, almost happy expression on his young face. Roy shut his eyes once more and continued to kiss him. He hated to see Edward upset and so vulnerable. It made him feel like he was cheating somehow, that he wasn't supposed to see Edward Elric in such a state. It was strange, but when he saw the happy look on Edward's face, those feelings had gone away.
"I love you, Roy." Roy heard Edward say softly.
"And I love you, Ed."
Edward leaned up for another kiss, the darkness in his eyes dissipating. His mind had been screaming so loudly and had become quieter once Roy had kissed him, and now his mind was completely silent. His head was clear now, and he wasn't afraid anymore.
At certain times, there's a darkness in his eyes that even he couldn't hide. But that darkness would never stay, because Roy was always there to get rid of it.