"Can you see the joker flying over...as she standing in the field of clover.." Beast Boy sang as he moshed to the almighty Wolfmother.
You best be bowing down bitches.
So Robin and Starfire were making out in a corner while Speedy attempted to break them up with a crowbar.
Speedy hits the ground with the crowbar.
"THERE ARE LOUD NOISES! STOP SUCKING FACE AND FIND OUT WHERE THE LOUD NOISES ARE COMING FROM!"
But sadly Speedy hasn't figured out how to really work a crowbar yet.
Techno powerpoprock music began to fill the elevator. Which meant someone FINALLY fixed the elevator music. Yay.
So while all the titans moshed to Hellogoodbye, one of the producers kidnap Starfire and leave those cool ransom notes that have those letters cut out of magazines.
So after moshing to Hellogoodbye for 4 hours straight Robin and Speedy realize Starfire is missing.
"Damn. Looks like I am gonna have to like Raven now." Robin said.
"Same here. Shall we three way?" Speedy asked.
"Indeed." Robin said as he broke out the huge costco size box of condoms.
"SQUEE!" Robin and Raven and Speedy shippers cheered.
"WE KILL YOU!" Beast Boy and Raven shippers then killed the Rob/Rae/Speedy shippers.
It was an epic battle. Blood was shed. Bodies were used as projectiles and sexual activities. Robin lost his hair...
OH MY GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!
So while everyone cried at Robin's hair's funeral, Robin was trying on different wigs.
"Whatcha think of this one?" Robin said as he sported a Donald Trump look.
So everyone went back to the current problem in front of them. No Starfire.
"Well if you look at it this way it isn't really a problem." Bumblebee said.
"Oh shut up Bumblebee. Your just saying that because no fanboy likes you. It's either Starfire, Raven, Terra, the other girl titans, and the villians. Your just fugly." Cyborg said.
"...at least I'm not bald." Bumblebee mumbled.
Sadly I think I'm the only one who finds humor in that.
"..HEY!" Cyborg and Robin shouted.
"We found a Johnny Knoxville poster!" Robin said as he held up the poster.
The Johnny Knoxville poster was stolen and placed the author's room.
Meanwhile in the producer's office...
"Where am I?" Starfire asked as her eyes scanned her containment cell.
The producer then step into the room. He was wearing a bunny mask, and a fluffy tail to match, so he could hide his true identity. Hey! Don't laugh! I'm trying to be serious here! God! I don't laugh at you when your trying to be serious...
"Who are you?" Starfire asked. "Normally I would of found out by now and you would start monologing about how my defeat would come easily to you, but that mask and cute tail is all the while keep me in a state of confusion."
"...You slut." The person said.
"O-M-F-G-Z! NO YOU DIDN'T!" Starfire said, her bitch senses tingling.
"I did." The fiend said.
"Well then, I guess I just won't talk to you anymore." Starfire said as she turned around and folded her arms.
"Fine by me, this nonintelligent conversation is making my head hurt." The villian said.
"Well, you know what? Your mom!" Starfire shouted.
"LEAVE MY MOTHER OUT OF THIS!" The villian shouted.
"That's what she said last night baby." Starfire said.
"YOU DIDN'T JUST GO THERE!"
"THAT'S WHAT YOUR DAD SAID LAST NIGHT TOO!"
"YOUR A SLUT!"
"How am I a slut? I just had a yo momma competition with your parents last night. And Wilmer Valderama gave a thousand dollars in cash money." Starfire said as she flashed her cash money at the villian.
"Damyummmmmm girl." The Producer said.
Back at the boring elevator.
Robin was on his new apple laptop and was checking his space on myspace.
"DAMMIT! YOU WOULD FIGURE AFTER BEING TRAPPED IN THIS GAY ASS ELEVATOR FOR ABOUT 3 WEEKS NOW SOMEONE WOULD LEAVE ME A COMMENT OR AT LEAST SEND ME A FRIKIN FRIEND REQUEST!" He bellowed.
"No one likes myspace whores." Beast Boy said as he walked by.
Back at Jump City..
The villians were having a field day with the titans and the titans east gone. Buildings were crumbled, bakeries were empty, Starbucks stopped selling coffee, old ladies thought it was their duty to become strippers, mass chaos ever.
Red X was sitting in a pizza palor enjoying a nice slice of pizza when someone grabbed it and threw it away.
"Who are you?" He asked this person.
The person had on a mask like Zorro's and he was sporting an Indie look.
"Soy...un predador...I'm a loser baby...so why don't you kill me?" The guy sang.
Red X's eyes went huge.
"NO! IT CAN'T BE!" He shouted.
Another guy wearing the same mask swung by on a rope and tackled Red X.
"GET CRAZY WITH THE CHEESE WHIZ!" The said stranger shouted.
Red X then got pwned by none other than Beck and Markus Saint.
"That should teach him." Markus Saint said.
"I concur." Beck agreed.
BECK IS SOOO COOL! SQUUUUEEEE!
The author then starts to squee like a fangirl.
Memo to self, never put Beck in a fic again, or I'll probably die from a sexy heart attack.
Starfire realizes that her rescue was in fact impossible since A. her teammates had the attention span of a rodent, B. they were trapped in an elevator, C. they were moshing to Hellogoodbye and who the hell moshes to Hellogoodbye, D. they don't know where the hell she is, and E. she was in a story by Lexi The Writer. After going over her reasons, she sighed and made her way towards her captor.
"Sooo...seen any good movies lately?" She asked.
"Define good." The captor said.
"The kind that makes you laugh from it's stupidy."
"Like Snakes On A Plane?" They asked.
"...are you gonna rape me in a kinky way?"
"How about letting me out of here?"
"Well at least your not gonna make me listen to Kevin Federline."
"Oh. But, I am." The captor said while chuckling.
"You bastard." Starfire said.
"I know, thanks for the moral boost though." The captor said.
"Anytime! I love how-wait. This isn't an intervention, dammit."
"But it can be." The captor said as he brought Dr. Phil into the room.
"NOOOOO!" Starfire screamed bloody murder.
"Now you can turn this situation into a positive-uation." Dr. Phil preached.
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!" Starfire wailed.
"You don't need some iq, you need some GUY Q." The Doctor of Phil said as he preached his worthless mumbo jumbo to the captor and Starfire.
"Indeed, this intervention is really helping me find out my inner feelings." The captor nodded as they held a gun up.
"What are those feelings?" Dr. Phil asked.
"Well. I have a strong feeling that I'm going to kill you." The captor then shot and killed Dr. Phil.
Starfire then ran over to the captor and bitch smacked them.
Robin stood up and looked at his teammates.
"My Starfire is having an intervention with Dr. Phil and her captor just shot Dr. Phil and now Starfire just bitch smacked her captor senses are tingling."
Cyborg looked up from his laptop in his arm and frowned.
"Dude how many times do I have to tell you? LAY. OFF. THE. WEED."
"Sorry man, but the ganja is the place. Peace throughout the body with the rat bouncing in the mind of the little 4 year old bazooka, word." Robin said.
"Huh?" Cyborg asked.
"He said your mom in stoner talk." Beast Boy said.
Speedy was trying to teach Aqualad how to drive. But, since they were in an elevator and had no car, they used the only tool they could. IMAGINATION!
"Ok, now put the car in drive and let's go to the mall and pick up some hot chicks!" Speedy said.
"Ok. BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-RRRRRRRRRRRR-RRRRRRRRRR." Aqualad 'drove' down the 'street'.
"WATCH OUT FOR THAT OLD LADY!" Speedy screamed as he pointed to the 'old lady'.
"RRRRRRRRRCH!" Aqualad slammed on the breaks.
"DAMN J00 YOU OLD LADY! CAN'T YOU LOOK BOTH WAYS WHEN YOUR CROSSING THE EFFING STREET!?!" Aqualad yelled.
"...yeah..I'm gonna have to take your weed." Raven said as she stepped out of the 'car's' way.
"Yeah, you keep walking to that grocery store bitch." Aqualad said as they moved on down the 'street'.
Thank you to all of my fellow reviewers. I know it's a pain in the arse when I don't update for these long periods of time and I just want to let you know I appreciate how you still are loyal. Pretty much I'm gonna try to update more often, at least fit it into my busy schedule. So I need a beta reader. Anyone interested? Contact me on my space and let me know if you are. Later
Lexi The Writer