"Ok guys we have two minutes." Steve called around the set.
"Hey Steve, did you manage to get goldilocks outta the toilet." Nicola asked
"We did eventually, we had to lay down a trail of gold necklaces towards the exit and out to his spaceship, that guy likes gold way too much!" Steve explains before going over to the cameramen.
Meanwhile SG-1 are sitting in their places ...
"Is there any way that we can get out of this?" Jack asked.
"It isn't really that bad if you think about it." Jonas says looking over to Nicola.
"Oh yeah I totally agree with Jonas on that." Daniel agrees while doing the same and looking over to Alex. The two girls were laughing over a shared joke.
"Get your eyes off of the hosts, just because they love you so damn much doesn't mean they love the rest of us." Sam says with bit of jealousy.
"This is going to be a very long and painful day." Jack said as he buried his head into his hands.
"Okay people, back to your places." Steve yelled.
"Welcome back to the show, we are continuing with our topic enemies. In the last part we saw Apophis..."
"Who ran off in tears" Nicola interrupted Alex.
"And Anubis who's head was so big we had to cut the door open to get him out. To begin with we have probably the bitchiest goa'uld ever ... please welcome HATHOR!" Alex introduced as Daniel let out a less than manly squeal, his face went pale and he looked like he was going to pass out. Hathor walked onto the set and went over to sit next to Daniel who was at the end of the row.
"Hey, no! You over there bitch!" Alex ordered pointing to a chair the furthest away from Daniel.
Hathor obeyed, reluctantly, and sat down. She kept glancing towards Daniel and Alex was sending death glares towards her, if looks could kill…
"O ... K, Sam as you are the only women here tell me, what do you think of Hathor?" Nicola.
"Well, she made all the males on the base go more mad than usual, she used Daniel's DNA to help her make hundreds of Goa'uld larva, and she turned Jack into a frickin' Jaffa, so you wanna know what I think of her? ... Bitch with a capital B." Sam stated her opinion.
"Hathor why do you like Daniel so much?" Nicola asked with a sickly smile.
"Well he was the first one that trusted us before they knew what we were. He was the one we chose to use for our children and he is our belov..."
"Okay stop right there, we don't want any kind of visual of you and him in love. Daniel what do you think of Hathor?" Alex asked.
"I hate her!" Daniel replied instantly
"Now that is a good answer!" Alex yelled
"Okay thank you Hathor for joining us but we..." Nicola started.
"NO! I will not leave, I have to work my spell on the men and then reign as queen of this world." She gets up and starts to walk towards the audience
"Hey, no. There will be no taking over the world from this studio and on OUR show. Now GET OUTTA HERE!" Nicola yelled, she turned to Steve, gave him a silent signal to stop Hathor and to get security.
The guards came and dragged Hathor of the stage kicking and screaming, but before the guard could react she breathed on him with her gas that makes him go all googly eyes on her.
"Destroy them." Hathor ordered, he instantly charged towards Nicola, who got into a fighting stance and as soon as he was close enough slammed her fist into his face. He instantly fell to the floor unconscious.
"Sorry Jake." Nicola said as she realised she's hurt her friend, she bent down to the unconscious man on the floor as she took out a tissue from her pocket and held it against his bleeding nose.
Alex looked from the man who had tried to hurt her friend to Hathor, the one who set him on Nicola.
"Hey BITCH! No one sets a hypnotised security guard on my best friend!" Alex runs to her and instantly pushes her to the floor. They role around punching, slapping, kicking and biting each other. Hathor digs her nails into Alex's arm but quickly pulls it back and stands up as she hears a horrible sound.
"AHHHH! Oh my God. You ... You ... You broke my nail!" She held up her hand and showed Alex a nail with a crack in it.
"Broke your nail? Whatever, that goes to show what happens when you mess with me or my friends ... and Daniel! Now get out of here before I ... Break your other nails!" Alex threatened; Hathor looked on in horror and ran as quickly as she could off the stage. Alex had threatened her nails, Hathor needed to keep away from her from now on. Alex turned back to Nicola. "Is Jake okay? Did you kill another person?"
"I've never killed anyone!" She said holding her finger up pointedly.
"What about on your X Files talk show 'The Truth Is Here'?"
"All I did was send two men to the hospital, one had passed out from terror and the other had been attacked by a vicious dog. The others just got extremely embarrassed. So no I have never killed anyone." Nicola explained. "And Jake has a broken nose; he's at the hospital now getting it fixed."
"As long as you didn't kill him." Alex turned to the guests. "Okay now on with the show, our next guest is kind of strange as we really don't have any idea what it is, but anyway please welcome a REPLICATOR!" Alex announced as SG-1 stood up in shock and a little spider thing scuttled on to the set.
"AHHHHH! ... ITS A MINI ROBOT SPIDER!" Nicola screamed as she jumped into Jonas's arms. Alex looks down and then back up.
"What the heck is that thing?" Alex yells over to Steve.
"Alex that is the guest." He told her as calmly as possible.
"Ohhh... right. They look so much bigger and so much more lethal on TV." She bends down and start stroking it. "Who's a cute little robotic killer spider?" She continues with baby talk.
"Alex ... don't ... taunt ... the ... replicator." Steve told her firmly. Alex stood back up.
"Why? What's it going to do, replicate?" Alex says as it jumps up on to her leg. "Ewwww! Get it off me! ... Get it off me!" She shouts as she shakes her leg and it falls back on the floor, slowly walking towards her. "Take this!" She drops her heels into the middle of it and it smashes into millions of pieces. "Okay someone get a broom. Nic you can get down now, it's gone." She says looking over to Nicola who was still comfortable in Jonas' arms.
"No I'm good thanks!" She shouts back as she snuggles deeper into Jonas' embrace.
"I don't mind." Jonas replied as he held onto her tighter.
"Jonas put her down now." Jack orders but neither Jonas or Nicola move. Alex turns to Jack.
"Jack, get her out of his arms right now or I will bring your parents on this show." Alex threatens.
"You wouldn't." Jack and all the other guests look at Alex in horror.
"Oh I would, and you know it." Alex answer. Jack gives her a nervous smile and then slowly turns to Jonas, he quickly takes out his side arm.
"JONAS PUT HER DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I WILL SHOOT YOU WHERE YOU STAND." Jack shouted. He had the gun aimed and ready. Jonas reluctantly puts Nicola down.
"Party poopers." Nicola and Jonas mutter under their breaths.
"Will you just get over here please!" Nicola stomped over to where Alex was standing.
"O...k join us after the break for more, and remember if you have any topic requests don't hesitate to call/review in with them."
"Cut." Steve shouted. He walked over to Alex and Nicola who were standing over the replicator blocks. "You know the people that lent us that could sue us?"
"Yeah, well it became a health hazard.' Nicola replied.
"Yeah, and who the hell would rent out those things anyway?" Alex asked.