" I prefer option two"

"Me too, Harry."







"You like that, Draco?"

"Oh, God yes."

"Good. I'll do it again."






"Draco… you'd better not have done a hickey."

"Well, I…"



"It'd better be small."


"What? What is it?"

"There's more than one."

"Oh, God. How many?"

"Come here, let me count."




"Sorry. It just tastes so good."

"Does that mean you've done another one?"

"Well, yeah…"

"So how many have I got now?"

"Well, it's more of a big patch, really."


"And some more little ones back here…"


"Ooh. Do growl again."


"Why the hell not?"

"I'm mad at you, Draco."

"Oh, come on, Harry! Please!"


"What if I were to do… this?"


"Now will you growl?"

"Oh, fine!"

"Yes! Growl for me!"












"Yes, say my name, Harry…"

"No… Draco…"



"Angry isn't erotic."

"That's because you won't listen to me!"

"What do you want? Look, I'm fully aware that you're a virgin, don't worry about it – "

"What – no!"

"What do you want, then?"

"I don't think we should do this right now."

"Whet the hell not?"

"For one thing, the bruises will be a bitch."

"Good point."

"And secondly… I think we should face the issue of getting out."

"How do you plan on doing that? The door's stuck."

"Well, I mean… we didn't really try it. Maybe we could unstuck it with some of this toxic crap Filch has in here."


"Maybe even pick the lock with a kebab stick- "

"I'm not letting you near that thing, Potter."

"Draco, I'm not going to stab you again."

"I don't trust you."




"Why the sudden sulk, Harry?"

"You don't… trust me?"

"Of course I do, Harry."

"You just said you don't."

"I said no such thing."

"Yes you did."

"I did not!"

"Yes you did! Draco, I heard you!"

"Okay, well… maybe I did, but – "

"Nice to know where I stand."

"But I just meant with dangerous weapons!"


"It's true! Would you trust me with an axe if I'd already chopped off your arms with it?"

"That's hardly the same – "

"Would you trust me?"

"Well, no... but it's not – "

"Well there you are! That's all I meant, Harry."

"Fine, fine…"

"Now then. With your little 'tantrum' over – don't look at me like that, it was a tantrum and you know it – let's focus on getting out, yeah?"

"Fine. Now what are the options?"

"There's unsticking the door with the bleach, picking the lock with… something… or um, knocking it down by force."




"Hey, d'you hear that?"


"Come on, how can you not hear it, Draco?"

"Hear what?"

"Ssh. It's getting louder."

"What, that thumping noise?"

"Yeah. Must be people going to breakfast."

"Oh, God, Harry. I'm so hungry."

"I know, Draco. With luck, someone might open the door."

"Like who? And don't say Filch. I really don't want to see Filch.."

"Well, he might, but I know that Hermione and Ron will be looking for me by now, so…"

"And they'd look in a closet?"

"They might."





"Hey, Harry?"


"What are we going to do when we get out of here?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know."





"Oh, I see."

"So what are we going to do, Harry? Will this be the end?"

"No need to be so dramatic."

"But will it?"

"Well, we'll have to avoid going public."

"Embarrassed of me, Harry?"

"No, but your daddy wouldn't be happy."

"Fair point."

"So what will we do, Draco?"

"I don't know. I'm going to miss you."

"Me too."

"I'll miss this neck…"


"This spot, just behind your ear…"


"This nose…"


"Don't giggle."

"Sorry, Draco."

"Hm… but most of all…"


"I'm going to miss these lips…"








"Not again."

"Draco, it's gone quiet."


"Outside. It's gone quiet."

"You mean…"

"We've missed them, Draco. Our chance is gone."


"Dammit. Would've thought they would have heard your moaning, Harry."

"Oh, shut up. You were making just as much noise."

"So now what are we going to do?"

"I don't know, Draco. Smash the door in?"

"Worth a shot."



"Wait. Stop a second."


"Draco! Stop!"


"Look at the way the door moves when you hit it."

"What about it?"

"Draco… I… I don't th-think it's locked."


"Try the handle."

"You've got to be kidding me, Harry."

"Just try it."

"Fine –"



"Well said, Draco."

"Harry? Malfoy?"



"What were you… uh… doing in there?"


"Ron! Calm down! Me and Draco weren't doing anything."

"Draco! Draco, is it?"


"Hermione, surely you don't think me and Drac – Malfoy weren't doing anything?"

"We heard you, Harry."

"H-how much?"

"The last half an hour, since you started, um… moaning."

"Shit, Granger. Why the hell didn't you let us out?"

"You appeared to be enjoying yourselves."

"Can't deny that, can we, Potter?"

"Draco, my name is Harry."

"Fine, Harry darling?"

"Yes, Draco?"

"Weasel's fainted."

"I'm going to go and take him up to hospital wing. Harry, Draco: I'm happy for you."





"So much for avoiding going public, eh, Harry?"



"Shut up."

The End


A/N: Well, it's been fun, and I'm all sad now. You try typing the end of your favourite fic up while listening to some VERY mellow Jack Johnson.

I hope you guys understood the end.. it's all very complicated. If you didn't get it, just let me know.