Summary: Cosmic Boy had the bright idea of giving Brainy an infusion of Coluan sunlight to 'perk him up.' However, as Coluans are descended from plants, this has a rather unexpected side effect concerning Brainy's lover, Lyle Norg.
Notes: Hemoglobin is what makes human blood red. Chlorophyll is what makes Earth plants green. Since Coluans are green, I am extrapolating that they evolved from plants, and therefore have the Colu equivalent of chlorophyll in their bloodstream instead of hemoglobin. And as they evolved from plants, they would, naturally, have a bit of a different reaction to the sun than humans…
"What the fuck were you thinking!" Lyle demanded for the eighth time that evening.
Cosmic Boy finally managed to muster enough to courage to squeak out an answer, "I was only trying to help!" He had, however, not managed to attain his usual level of bluster. Why was he defending himself to his third in command, anyway?
"By doing…this!" Lyle gestured with frantic helplessness back at the doors to Querl's quarters. His exhaustion and frustration both combined to make him loose hold of his invisibility momentarily, and his fingers flickered in and out as they waved back and forth.
Cosmic Boy's eyes widened.
Oh, right. Because Invisible Kid was sprocking scary when he was pissed.
"Shadow Lass said Brainy was looking a little peaked, and Mon-El said that he sometimes got like that – and his powers waned – when he hadn't been exposed to the something akin to the radiation of the Earth sun – a yellow giant," Cosmic Boy said in a rush, "and I thought that maybe creating a light source like that of Colu's sun – a green giant – for his lab would make Brainy…perk up a bit." He shrugged and pleaded with whatever deity looked out for Legionnaires for Lyle not to kill him.
"Perk up a bit?" Lyle seethed, his blond hair flopping messily over his forehead – what of it wasn't plastered to his head with sweat and…other bodily fluids…that was.
"I – Sun Boy may have…miscalculated the dosage of solar rays," Cosmic Boy replied, so rattled he almost gave himself away as the guilty culprit. Dirk had helped him figure out the calculations needed to replicate Colu's sun, but he had been the one to create the light bulbs – and determine the strength of the rays they emitted.
Lyle's eyes narrowed and he glared at his 'commanding officer' – commanding his own ego, more than the team – with fury. "It wouldn't matter what size the dosage was, Rokk," Lyle hissed. "Even a little bit of direct solar rays – without any sufficient warning and/or preparation time – would have caused this reaction. You see, according to Querl's biological clock, it is now spring on Colu."
"Spring?" Cosmic Boy asked, obviously clueless.
"Coluans are descended from plants," Lyle explained with barely-restrained impatience. He was no practically spitting his words out. "Plants that evolved into sentient beings who, despite their highly advanced intellect, are still subject their baser impulses – on an annual cycle. Spring is basically mating season," he finished with a pointed glare at Cosmic Boy's reddening face.
Even Cosmic Boy's sixth-level intellect was high enough that he could piece that together. But he couldn't have heard what he thought he'd heard. He just couldn't. "What?"
"Your little overdose of sunshine has driven my lover into a mating cycle," Lyle stated bluntly.
Cosmic Boy made a very undignified sound at the mental images. He opened his mouth to…do something…but was interrupted by the sight in front of his eyes.
A very horny Coluan – body flushed a deeper, and most interesting shade of green, Cosmic Boy noted absently with the part of his mind not horrified by the sight – suddenly wrapped himself around Lyle from behind. Nuzzling Lyle's obviously willing ear, Brainy purred, "Come back to bed, Lyle…"
Lyle sighed with patently false resignation, though his 'enthusiasm' was waning, and slow to rise to the occasion. "This is the last time today, Querl; I need to sleep."
"Why? When there are so many much better things to do?" Brainy asked. Then, grinning wickedly, he added, "Over and over and over again."
Cosmic Boy's gulp was echoed by Lyle's own expression of muted terror. Turning back to Cosmic Boy, Lyle hissed, "Fix this now, Rokk! I'm only human and I can't take much more of him!" He whimpered in terror, and then moaned helplessly as bright green fingers twisted his left nipple sharply while sharp white teeth bit at the juncture of his neck and ear. He slumped almost bonelessly into Querl's arms and went with him willingly, if anxiously, as he was tugged inside their shared quarters.
Cosmic Boy gaped as he watched the doors to Brainy's rooms sweep shut behind the two men. It was only now he realized that Lyle hadn't been wearing a shirt – or pants – underneath his robe. And Brainy…
Well, Nura would be pleased to know that her hypothesis about Brainy's ports being 'all over' was correct. Not that Rokk would ever tell her, since then he'd have to come up with a reason for how he'd know.
Cosmic Boy gulped, turned on his heel, and strode calmly down the hall like he wasn't more rattled than the time he'd accidentally walked in on Shrinking Violet and Timberwolf in the gym…and then gave it up for a lost cause and sprocking ran like he was fleeing for his life down the hall towards the monitor room for his shift. He'd be early to relieve Sun Boy, but this way he'd be able to send Dirk to replace the green light bulbs.
But Cosmic Boy resolved to keep this tidbit of information in mind the next time that Tasmia complained that Brainy needed to get laid. And he was going to make sure Sun Boy did not get rid of those special light bulbs.