AN: Wow! I am just simply amazed with the response that the first chappy got. I am so happy that everyone liked it so much. It is kind of hard to update quickly since I am in school and am also trying to keep up with my other story. Plus added to that is the fact that I type so damn slow.
I am trying to update this and Tears as quickly as possible so please bear with me. I've also got side tracked with a new one shot that should be out soon, so I apologize.
I had a question about where the Hokage and another of Naruto's teachers where in the last chappy and why they didn't stop what was going on. I am only now currently seeing the episodes where Naruto and Sasuke fight Haku and his Crystal Ice Mirrors so I do not know much about Tsunade or Jiraiya? (I think that is his name) at this time. I will try my best to find a suitable reason for their absence that I will include later on in the chappy. I am sorry if this upset anyone. Most of my info about this show as I mentioned comes from the few fics I have read so I'm flying a little in the dark but I am working on that. Please bear with me and point out any more mistakes that I make in the plotline or about any characters that I have pegged wrong or have left out.
Now on with the bloody fic.
Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto or InuYasha, Kikyou would be dead again, Sasuke, InuYasha and Sesshomaru would be in leather, Naruto would be with Kagome, and all four guys would be at my beck and call always. But sadly I own nothing so I will have to make do with this. And you're damn insane if you think I own this song.
Kyuubi talking to Naruto
Random thoughts, song lyrics and little quotes.
AND THE SKY MOURNS
I'm so tired of being here
There have been many stories, of shinobi who have come so close to death that they claim to have actually seen the other side. These ninja come back with stories of tunnels and bright lights, of tenshi and singing. They tell of feeling peaceful and whole, calm and at rest like they have never been before. Now maybe they were all weaving tales, or maybe it had something to do with me being a monster, but when I opened my eyes there was no tunnel or lights, no tenshi singing. All that I could see when I became aware was a complete vortex of darkness.
Suppressed by all my childish fears
That was it. Just darkness that stretched as far as the eye could see. It was like a cloudy, starless night. Then suddenly there was a tiny pinprick of light in the distance. It pulsed and called to me, its blood red color was entrancing and enticing all at the same time. I wanted to be near it; as if something inside of me knew that it would find safety with that light. I scoffed. Safety, true safety was something that I had never known. There had always been the knowledge that no matter where I went, no matter how far I traveled; there would always be someone there to get me.
Safety was but a fleeting illusion that I had long ago given up the search for. I knew, like I had always known, that I was not meant to find peace. There are those in this world that are not meant to be happy. There are those that are not meant to live good lives. I had been unlucky enough to be one of those to draw that lot in life. I admit that I am slightly bitter, hell who wouldn't be. I am not going to lie to anyone and say that I am perfectly content with my life. I detest being lied to by others so why should I lie to anyone else.
And if you have to leave
I am slightly bitter, I fully admit that, but I have come to find a sense of peace in my bitterness. My life's a bitch, and then I'll die. I accept that and it seems as if my prediction has finally come true. I'm finally dead. And it seems as if the rest of my existence will be in this waste land of darkness. It was only to be expected I guess. A dark grave for an even darker soul. Only appropriate.
I wish that you would just leave
And yet I wonder. That light, the one with the call to safety. What if it was real? What if there really was some place where a creature like me could finally find rest? Was that even possible; was there even rest for the wicked? And I am wicked, I fully admit that. But just what if? Could I take one final leap of faith? One final mission to end all missions?
'Cause your presence still lingers here
I could and I would.
Determined I set off. Or at least I seemed to set off. It was more like I willed my body forward towards the light and suddenly I was moving. It was getting closer, the brightness and intensity increasing with every bit of distance that I covered. The call increased, the almost yearning feel for my presence doubled. Something in that light wanted me there and I was determined to find out what it was. After a while, I'm not really sure how much time passed, I was in the middle of the light and it was so bright that I couldn't see anything.
After some time the light calmed some and my eyes adjusted to the remaining brightness. There stood before me what looked like a huge set of double doors. These doors seemed to be producing the light, and carved on them was a symbol that I most defiantly knew.
The seal, my seal. The very symbol that held the power to hold Kyuubi inside of the prison that was my body. Something was not right. Why would the Fourth's seal be on a pair of doors in the middle of where ever the hell it was that I was at? I being the curious kitsune that I am just had to find out. I reached out my hand and pushed at the massive doors. I was surprised at how light they were and how easy they moved.
And it won't leave me alone
They swung open fairly easily, and I entered through them into a darker room. It was a huge chamber, illuminated by lit wall torches, ten or twelve that I could see, and even this left the room mostly in shadows. It was damp, with a moist feel to the air. All in all, it was like no other room that I had ever seen in my life.
'Just were in the Hell am I?'
"Welcome to my home Kit."
I knew that voice instantly. That silky seductive tone of the only one to ever call me by such a loving name. I swiftly turned to face right, the direction that the voice had drifted to my ears from. It was there in the shadows that I saw them. Those ruby, no blood red orbs that briefly reminded me of the Sharingan dominated eyes of Itachi, that sick and twisted fuckin' weasel. It was as I stared into them that I immediately noticed the differences between these eyes and the orbs of the elder Uchiha. Where Itachi's eyes were cold and cruel to the bone, these eyes showed their own share of coldness and yet gave the impression of being more than what they seemed. Kyuubi's eyes gave the impression of tightly held secrets and pain, while Itachi's eyes only managed to communicate sheer evilness.
I reached out my hand slowly and let a distressed whimper pass my lips.
"Kyuubi? Is that really you?"
And it won't leave me alone
There was movement in the shadows and suddenly there stepped into the small circle of light a giant fur covered paw. And then I knew. Without a shadow of a doubt I knew that this being was Kyuubi. Someway, somehow I had been given the opportunity to finally meet my unexpected house guest face to muzzle. I did not hesitate. I threw myself forward before he had another chance to move farther out of the shadows, and latched myself onto his massive paw. I gripped him tighter than I had ever gripped anything in my life. I could not help myself. I wanted, if only for a moment, to act like the child I had never been and attach myself to the one being that actually made me feel secure. I wanted to be connected to the one creature in this world that would never hate me, or grow to be disgusted by my mere appearance. Kyuubi seemed to understand what I wanted and froze on the spot, determined to move as less as possible to avoid injuries to me.
After a little while I was finally able to admit what it was that I really wanted. I wanted to cling to something and sob out my pain, but we both knew that at this point I would not.
I have too much pride and too many years of practice and skill sharpening to allow my mask to drop for more than a split-second. I would not shame the kitsune with my tears and act like a wounded kit. I would show the kitsune that he could be proud of me and my strength, both mental and physical, whenever needed. I would never allow the mighty youkai to even once doubt the strength and resolve of his reluctant vessel. I would carry on and live my life, or in this case death, as I had everyday. With strength and determination.
wounds won't seem to heal
With one last nuzzle to the rust colored fur I stepped back and looked up at the now visible form of the kitsune. He was truly magnificent. Standing at least two stories tall, with massive paws and giant fangs that were just visible over his bottom lip, the youkai was both beautiful and terrible in his all consuming grace. His great and fabled nine tails were fanned out around him, the outer two coming to rest curled around his front and now covering his paws from view. Awed I looked up at him and stared.
The kitsune tilted his head and gazed down at me curiously and seemed to study me intently. I blushed suddenly feeling self-conscious in the presence of such greatness. Kyuubi looked down at me and made a scoffing sound that I felt through our bond signaled amusement over my facial expressions.
"What's wrong Kit? You act like you've never seen a kitsune before." Kyuubi laughed.
"Very funny Kyuubi. You know good and damn well that I've never seen you before. It's just that you're so, so...huge!"
pain is just too real
"Well then Young One, perhaps this form will be more welcoming." With that Kyuubi began to glow a dull and yet brilliant shade of crimson. Before my very eyes the giant kitsune youkai seemed to shrink. He continued to decrease in size until he finally stood as tall as me while standing on all fours. Other than his size his appearance had not changed at all. He just looked like a much smaller form of himself, and yet he still towered over my own form. I could only stare in shock, and dare I say it again, awe.
Kyuubi laughed again, a low rumbling roar like sound. "Kit I thought being inside of your mind when you were in one of these moods was amusing, but it cannot hold a candle to finally being able to see your face as you speak."
There's just too much that time cannot erase
Then as suddenly as the fit of humor came it was gone and Kyuubi's tone took on a more serious ring. "Kit you do not know how many times I have wished to look upon your face as we spoke. To be able to see your emotions as well as feel them." Kyuubi crept closer to me in an almost hesitant manner. "I have only seen you once before. It was the day that you turned six years old. I remember it as if it were yesterday. You were playing in the woods. Do you...remember that day?"
Did I remember? Kami how I wished I could forget! Everything about that day was forever imprinted in my eyelids, coming back to haunt me in the few hours a night that I slept. No matter what, when ever I had that dream, that nightmare, that memory, I would always wake screaming and thrashing, trying in vain to escape the bonds that no longer held me.
I never succeeded; they were always there the next night and the next. Waiting for me to return to them. But I refused to go quietly; as a result I relaxed little and slept even less. I had in some aspects become just like Gaara in our shared need to avoid sleep.
you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
"Hai Kyuubi, I remember all too clearly. That was the day that I received my very first kunai wound, slipped between my ribs as I sat playing innocently in the woods." My hand slipped down to palm the area that still carried the scar, old and faded, but still there. I could not help but shudder as the memories came back to me.
you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I woke early that morning. The sky was crystal clear and blue as my eyes. It was going to be a magnificent day, or so I thought.
Kami, if I only knew.
I walked through town and noticed nothing strange except for the increasingly mean and hateful remarks and slurs that were being thrown at me today. 'What was wrong with everyone today? I am used to their insults and slurs, even the occasional slap but they had never been as harsh as they were today. What did they have against me! Why were they all so mean to me!'
I had made it about half way through town when a rotten tomato smacked me upside the face, followed quickly with a backhand across the other side.
your hand through all of these years
I stared blankly up at the man that I recognized as the local fruit and vegetable vendor. At seeing the look of pure rage on his face I backed up and turning began to run towards the forest. I pumped my short childish legs as fast as they would go as I raced through town. I was unfortunately not fast enough to dodge most of the blows that met me on my way. By the time I reached the edge of the forest closest to my apartment I was covered in cuts and bruises and it felt as if one or two of my ribs were broken thanks to a couple well placed kicks.
Panting I settled myself in the roots of my favorite tree and I was finally able to catch my breath. I sat there for a while, an hour or maybe two before I decided that I wanted to play. Now I had never had a playmate before so I was use to playing on my own and had become very talented at creating games to keep myself amused. I decided that today I was going to build sand castles by the little stream in the forest so I set off. I played there in the peace and quiet for an hour maybe two before it happened.
I was sitting there trying to add the Hokage Mountain to my tiny replication of Konoha when someone placed their hand across my mouth. I started struggling in vain, but somehow I knew that I would not escape unless they let me go. Slowly I relaxed and looked back at the one who held me. To my surprise and relief it was an ANBU, and my fear slowly started to fade, only to come back full force. I knew there was no way an ANBU would seriously hurt me, they never had before, and they had too much honor to harm a child. Or so I thought but there was something different this time. This one gave me a horrible feeling, as if something was driving this ANBU deeper and deeper into insanity. And I could feel each and every step he took into the dark.
Then suddenly as I looked up into the kame mask of the ANBU above me, he spoke to me. "Little Naruto you'll answer my question without screaming right?"
I nodded my head quickly. There was no way that I would anger this ANBU. His left hand came up and I caught the glint of metal in the sky before he spoke again. "Do you know what this is Naruto?" He held up a kunai knife.
"Hai, it's a kunai knife, you use it to save people." I answered back with all of my fake youthful exuberance.
"Hai, you are a smart boy. This is a kunai knife, but it's special."
"Yes this kunai is not for saving people, it has a different purpose. Do you want me to show you what that is?"
"Hai show me onegai!"
"With pleasure." He tauntingly replied.
Suddenly his arm swooped down and I felt a burning and ripping sensation in my ribs and I knew suddenly what he had done. He stabbed me! The pain was like nothing I had ever experienced before. The beatings that the other villagers had given me were nothing compared to this. I could feel it as his hand put more and more pressure on the handle of the blade, forcing it further and further into my side. Breathing soon became more and more difficult and even as a child I could tell that he had punctured my lung. Then his hand twisted and so did the blade before he jerked it roughly from my flesh. I let out a small scream and was unable to stop the tears that ran down my face.
All of me
"This kunai is for destroying monsters. It was made just for you. Now I'm going to use it to destroy something that should have never been born."
Terrified I had scuttled backwards with my hands trying to escape, but he had simply grabbed my ankle and pulled me back to him. It was then that he had noticed the tears still falling down my face. He had stared at me for a while before reaching out his hand and ignoring my flinch, almost tenderly cupped my cheek in his palm.
"You're crying? I didn't know that monsters such as you had feelings enough to cry. This is even better, now you can cry for all the lives you ruined as I kill you slowly."
He started to beat me then. He sliced at my body with the kunai, and his hands and nails clawed at me. For hours it seemed to go on. I screamed at him to let me go, I cried, begged and pleaded. I even apologized for whatever it was that I had done. Still he beat me until I felt that I had no more tears left to cry, no more blood left to be spilt, and my voice had long since faded with my screams of pain and fear. Soon I just lay there staring up at the branches of the trees that surrounded me. I was numb to the core. All I wanted at that moment was to die. At six years old, I wished that he would kill me, I truly wanted to die. And yet it was not meant to be.
used to captivate me
Right when I was on the verge of giving up, right when I decided that it was no longer worth fighting for, he stopped. He pulled back and just stared at me for a while before he suddenly laughed. "I like it when you cry, and beg me to stop. It feels so invigorating to hold your life in my hands. I don't think that you will die just yet. I think that the other villagers will agree with me when I say that you do not deserve death as of yet. You have not suffered not nearly enough, but we will all see to it that you do before you die."
He stood then, and hovered over my prone form. He reached down and picked me up by my collar and studied me before lightly tossing me into a tree. He pulled a piece of rope from underneath his vest and quickly performed a couple of hand signs. Quickly the rope grew to a much larger size than it had been and seemed to shimmer in the light. He lightly approached me and once again picking me up; he somehow managed to tie my hands together with the rope. He grabbed the end of the rope and used it to roughly drag me so that I lay underneath the overhanging branch of an even larger tree. He gripped the rope tightly in his hand and jumped into the tree branches. He then jumped off of the other side so that the rope was over the branch. My eyes widened in horror at the realization of what he was going to do to me. That sadistic bastard was going to hang me! And yet I couldn't find the energy to struggle.
He turned to look at me and then he began to speak. "This rope is under the influence of a special jutsu. It is tied directly to your vital signs. It will release you after twenty-four hours if you are still alive. If your heart stops beating even once then you will hang there until I come back or the jutsu wears off, which ever comes first." With that he pulled on the rope and I was hoisted into the air until my feet were completely off the ground and I was hanging by my hands. He tied off the rope and turned to walk away. After he was about twenty feet away from me he stopped and turned back to me. "And by the way Naruto, Happy Birthday." With that he left as quickly as he had come. As I swung there in the air that night I pondered over all that had been said and done to me today. The villagers' actions made sense in a way. Today was apparently my birthday and it symbolized the day that all of their supposed troubles had begun. Since I was the cause of all of their troubles it only made sense that they hated my birthday.
I also realized for the first time that I finally knew my birthday. I had never known what the date of my birth was. Hell I hadn't even known what a birthday was until about two years ago. I had overheard the other children talking about having a 'birthday party' and with a clueless expression I had approached them and asked what a birthday was. They had laughed at me and called me stupid but explained none the less. I had spent much time after that trying to guess how old I was and I guessed that I was at least four years old, and had used that as my age since then. As I twirled in the night air I could not help but whisper to myself, "Happy Birthday." And even to my own ears it sounded hollow and lifeless, if not a bit ironic.
I blacked out soon after.
I never saw him again.
"Yes I certainly remember that day, why do you ask?"
"Do you remember when you passed out from the blood loss?"
"Yes I do."
"After you were out I brought your spirit here. I was able to do this since you were so far withdraw within yourself, almost dead as a matter of fact. I used my chakra to heal as much of your wounds as I could before you awoke. I was only able to heal the smaller scratches so as not to raise your suspicions and to help the stab wound heal enough for the bleeding to stop. I was able to gaze upon your face then like I am now."
"Speaking of now, Kyuubi why is it that I am here now? I have never been able to see you before so why now? Why have you not brought me here in the other time that I have been unconscious?"
"You don't understand Kit. It is not the fact that you are knocked out that allows me to bring you here. It is the fact that you hover so dangerously close to passing into the other side. In both of these occasions you have been so close to death that it is only my spirit that keeps you here."
bound by the life you left behind
"What do you mean both of these occasions?"
"In the tree Naruto you would have bleed to death from the knife wound had I not occupied your body, and now you are so close to death that just one slip on my part will push you into the afterlife. As of now your body is shutting down and your heart has already stopped. Realistically you are dead. It is only my energy that keeps the blood flow to your brain from shutting down and erasing all possibilities of revival. As to why I have brought you here it is time for you to make a decision, a very important decision."
"What is it Kyuubi?"
"Kit I need you to decide whether or not you wish to die or to continue to live."
I was stunned for a moment and excited. There was a chance for me to live! I could see Iruka-sensei, and Sasuke-teme, Kakashi-sensei, and Sakura-chan... It was then that I remembered what had happened. All of my joy was burned to ashes and scattered to the winds. "Kyuubi I have nothing left to live for. Everyone that I have ever cared for has betrayed or abandoned me except for you. There is nothing left for me to go back to anymore. Even...Hinata thinks that I am a monster, a filthy youkai. I do not know if I can face them again."
"I understand Kit, but know this, if you so choose to die I will use every last bit of my life energy to overcome the seal and destroy Konoha. They will pay with their lives for the way they have treated you, and I shall use my final breath to make sure they burn in Hell. Afterwards I will join you in the afterlife."
"B-But Kyuubi you promised me that you would no longer harm Konoha, you swore to me that you would help me to protect our village!"
face it haunts
"THAT WAS BEFORE THEY LEFT YOU FOR DEAD! That was before they abandoned you to die in the streets like an animal! That was before they walked away without a second glance! That was...that was before they MURDERED you Kit! They murdered you and that is not something I can forgive. Now make your choice. Die and Konoha dies with us, live and the village escapes my wrath...for now. And let me warn you, if you choose to live things will change, there is no other way, so choose carefully."
"I must protect Konoha, so I must live and change for Konoha. If change is what is necessary for me to live and for Konoha to remain safe, then I choose to live and to change."
"Are you sure Kit? Once you do this there is no going back and things will never be the same."
"This is our only option Kyuubi, I choose to live."
"Then so be it."
"Just two questions Kyuubi."
"Only two Kit? I can tell that you are tired if you are only asking two."
"Ha-Ha very funny, yes only two. What are you going to do? And will it hurt?"
"I should have known that even with only two questions you would give me a difficult time. For your first question I am going to partially merge our Rei, our chakra, our life energies, everything. Basically I am going to merge our souls. Everything will change from your height and physical features all the way down to the ways you think, taste and even see. You will remain Naruto in the most sense only with a much bigger dose of me in your physical and mental aspects. In short we will almost completely be one. I say almost because we will not merge fully. I refuse to leave you alone in your mind. I know how much you fear the silence and I would never cut our ties of communication. I am not that cruel. We will be linked in everyway. I will see what you see, feel what you feel, and even taste and hear what you do. However we will still be able to talk with one another. Your energy stores will grow dramatically as will your instincts and senses. There is also a darker side to our merger but I do not know if it will affect you or not so we will wait to discuss it until it becomes necessary. Now as for your second question, yes it will hurt. It will be one of the most painful experiences of your life and I would spare you if I could, but I am afraid that I cannot. But we will survive as we have survived before."
"I understand Kyuubi. How long is this going to take?"
"There are twenty days until your seventeenth birthday and since we are already so closely connected the merger will take only about eighteen of those. The nineteenth day will be used for you to rest, and the last day will be used to travel back to the village. I have to warn you Kit, for some time after this merger you will be very weak. Your body was not meant to hold all of my energies, and it will take a lot to keep you from destroying yourself from the inside out. As a matter of fact I would advise against going back to Konoha until we are fully recovered but I know that you will not listen to me."
"You know me so well Kyuubi. I must return to Konoha as soon as possible. I must show them that even after everything I will remain loyal. I swore to protect that village with my life no matter what and I never back down from a promise, it's my Nindo. But I don't know if I am strong enough to do this Kyuubi. What if I fail? I don't want to disappoint you; you are my most precious person."
"And you Kit are mine. I do not have any worries about you failing me. You would kill yourself to take care of someone you care for, you proved that tonight. I know that you would work yourself to death for me if I but asked. I have much faith in you and your abilities Kit. You will do this and we will live."
"Thank you Kyuubi. You do not know how much your words mean to me."
Your voice it chased away
"I know better than you think I do. Now sleep Kit. I have promised you that I would never leave you, and what I am about to do will prove that promise like nothing has before. After this is over with nothing could separate us even if we wished it. Now sleep. Bask in the knowledge that when we return, the villagers will no longer see Naruto Uzumaki or Kyuubi, they will see Naruto no Kyuubi. Let them witness their own creation. Let them realizes that all of their fear and hatred has done nothing but bring to life their own nightmare. Watch as they realize that every beating, ever cutting remark, has done nothing but bring fruit to their illusions. Oh hai they will reap what they sow and if only for a small time they will regret. But there is still much to be done. I have called for the forest to aid us in our quest and even as we speak we are being moved to a more secure location. The trees, the very earth loves us Naruto, loves you. It sees your suffering and wishes for nothing more than to help you. So sleep and save your strength. Come farther into my cage, my world, I would come to you but I am unable, so you shall come to me. Come curl into my fur, share with me my heat, and rest. Rest your head upon my tails and dream. Dream dreams of older days, of forests bright and green. Of days without beatings and fear, of family and love. Of true friends and other things that we have never had. Dream dreams for both of us, for youkai rarely dream."
I did as he asked, and as I lay there listening as his voice faded into black I came to realize that I had never felt safer in my life. I was at peace laying among his tails in a way that I had never been before. I felt for the first time in my life protected and safe, as if the world could not touch me. I knew that soon I would be facing the hardest task that I had ever had, but for now this peace was all that mattered. I slept that night and for the first time in as long as I could remember my dreams were indeed sweet.
All the sanity in me
The Next Morning
I woke up feeling worse than I ever had before. My body hurt like it had never hurt before. Every bone, every muscle that I had was screaming in agony, even my face hurt. I was aware that I had movement in my body again so I tried to sit up. My lungs ached and every breath was a battle against the darkness but I managed to gain my knees. I rested there for a while before I lifted my head and tired to take in my surroundings. Apparently Kyuubi had been telling the truth about our body being moved, I was in a clearing that I had never seen before and I couldn't sense even the smallest amount of ningen chakra anywhere.
wounds won't seem to heal
I was in a clearing in the woods near what appeared to be a small stream filled with crystal clear water and fat healthy fish. There were trees growing along the edge of the stream that provided perfect shade and overhanging branches that grazed the surface of the water. There was also a small cave directly to my right that I felt had been the deciding factor when dealing with our stay here. This clearing was perfect for extended stay. It had shelter, food, a water source, and it was deep in the heart of the forest providing ample cover and disguise. It was a shinobi's dream camp ground. I agreed with Kyuubi that this place was indeed perfect.
Speaking of Kyuubi, I hadn't heard anything from the overgrown fur ball since I woke up, which to say the least was unusual. I decided to try and connect with my fuzzy roommate and figure out why in the hell I felt like I had just been hit with one of Sasuke's Chidori attacks. I mean hell healing had never felt this bad before and surely the merger had not begun already! I had just woke up for Kami sake.
pain is just too real
"Kyuubi what in the hell is the matter with me? I feel like I woke up on the wrong side of a Chidori straight from Sasuke! It's starting to get hard to breath and my whole body aches, to be sure the merger has not started this quickly has it?"
"Kit I did not expect it to start so soon but it apparently has. The pain has only begun and it will continue to come in waves. The lack of breath is probably due to the fact that your internal systems are changing, starting with your lungs. These changes are going to take place rapidly, one after another with little time in between. I am sorry that you have not had proper time to heal from our last mission but this is necessary. I will be with you every step of the way, so do not worry."
I understood where Kyuubi was coming from for I too had felt the urgency in the situation. This merger had to take place soon if it was going to work at all. I had a thought then. 'How had Kyuubi reanimated my body when before I was practically dead?' So I asked him.
"Kyuubi I thought that you said I was dead, that my heart had stopped beating? How is it that I am alive now?"
"Yes Kit your heart had stopped beating and my energy was the only thing keeping your brain alive. There was only so much of my energy that your body could handle without destroying itself from the inside out. It is because of this that you ran out of energy so quickly and was forced to fall back on your life energy and your Rei. Now that you are completely drained I am able to channel more of my energy into you. It was with a well placed bolt of chakra that I was able to jump start your heart. Now your body is reanimated and it is changing. Once this is done you will have full access to all of my energy with none of the former restraints."
"Oh. I understand now. I guess that we are as prepared as we are going to get. Do you have any suggestions for what to do next oh great Kitsune?"
There's just too much that time cannot erase
"Your sense of humor astounds me. I would suggest that you drag yourself into that cave if I were you, and since I practically am, I suggest that you heed my advice. That cave offers the perfect shelter and disguise. It is enclosed and has only one entrance, if we are attacked there is only one direction they could come from. You should do it quickly before the next wave hits us and we are too weak to move."
I huffed but took his advice anyways. Facing the cave I began to crawl slowly but surely to the entrance of the cavern. After about fifteen of the longest minutes of my life I made it to the entrance and collapsed right as the next wave overtook me. I withered on the ground as the pain overloaded my senses. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. Sure there had been things that hurt worse but nothing had ever hurt in this way. It felt as if something was taking a white hot poker, sticking it into my chest and twisting my lungs around and around.
Before I knew it I was thrashing back and forth on the ground as the pain ripped through me. It continued for hours upon hours, continuing to get worse and worse as the time went on.
Eventually the waves lasted for so long that I was barely aware of the breaks in-between them. I got a break way after the sun went down that seemed different from the others. This time the pain seemed to retreat instead of dull. In the breaks before the pain only backed off slightly, it was only in the background not gone for good. This time the pain felt as if it were gone instead of hiding.
I rolled over onto my knees and started coughing, or choking up blood. It was awful; the pain had come from deep within, starting in the pit of my stomach and then rolling up until it reached my brain. 'What exactly was changing inside of me?' 'What had Kyuubi meant about my internal systems changing?'
"Kit the pain stems from the fact that your organs are rearranging themselves to fit the format of a youkai body system. After this is over with your body will utilize every bit of nutrients that it receives to its fullest extent. There will be no wasted energy in your actions any longer. Your body will be in every physical aspect practically perfect."
"The pain, will it last like this the whole time or will it dull over a period?"
"I am afraid that it will only get worse, this is only the beginning. I can tell you though that after some time I will be able to place you in a meditative state to where time will have no meaning. You will still feel the pain there is nothing I can do about that, but time itself will hopefully seem to go much quicker. I can keep you this way for as long as needed, but I will pull you out of it if something goes wrong."
tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
"I guess that sounds better than sitting here and throwing up what little bit of blood I have left in my system. Do what you have to do Kyuubi, I trust you with my life."
"Understood. Rest well Kit, I'll see you in eighteen days."
I felt Kyuubi concentrate his chakra like I was doing it myself. He was wrapping his energy into a ball that was growing more and more compact with each moment. Then suddenly he released it. The energy burst forward and barreled into every pore of my body. I could feel Kyuubi not only inside of me but all around me as well. It was like being wrapped in a white hot, fuzzy blanket. Then I could feel myself falling forward again and everything went dark. I could no longer see anything but I could still hear, smell and feel everything that was happening to my body.
I don't know how much time passed before the pain came back but it didn't seem like nearly enough. It was gone one moment and then there the next. I could still feel the pain as sharp and as burning as before but now it helped that I was unable to linger over the passage of time. It soon became a giant spiral of pain and agony. I could feel the changes taking place in my body each moment and yet I never knew how long it lasted. Minutes seemed like seconds and seconds like hours, and as strange as it sounds it helped. Not knowing how long I withered in agony helped to keep me from falling head first into insanity.
I don't know how much time passed before they started but I wished that they would end as quickly as possible. Suddenly or so it seemed, the perfect timeless state that Kyuubi had inflicted on me turned into a living hell made up of memories of my life. I could hear each and every moment of my life pass by my ears as the sensation of falling down the spiral of nothingness continued. They came at random with no sense of order.
"I'm gonna be the greatest Hokage ever!"
"Your not hurt are you Scaredy Cat?"
"Know that you will always be alone we will never let you be happy."
"Compared to the others you're a little weird."
"Evil deserves no peace".
"Because you attacked your own teammates and then tried to bring them back here like you had done nothing wrong. The villagers were right about you. You really are nothing but a monster, a filthy youkai."
"Hurry up now we must get these three to the hospital as soon as possible. There is no time to waste."
"Who really knows the way the mind of a youkai works Honorable Grandson? That monster cannot be trusted."
That monster cannot be trusted."
That monster cannot be trusted."
"That monster cannot be trusted."
The words and phrases started blurring together and the voices all became one and yet remained separate. It was like a thousand voices screaming in my head at once, all of them mixed to form a giant hating mass of sound and yet each unique enough to be picked out on its own.
"I'm gonna be the greatest Hokage ever!Your not hurt are you Scaredy Cat?DobeHappy BirthdayYour annoyingKnow that you will always be alone we will never let you be happyEvil deserves no peace."
I just wanted them to stop to leave me alone, that's all. If I could have moved I would have been beating my head with my fists until the voices stopped. I didn't need this again, not now not ever. I couldn't relive this now; it was too much on top of everything else. I just wanted it to stop, someone make it stop!
Make it stopmake it stop Make it stopmake it stopmake it stopmake it stopmake it stopmake it stopMakeitstopMakeitstopMakeitstopMakeitstop!
But they didn't, they kept coming and coming, the words that cut deep into my soul. I relived every instance of rejection from my past, every beating, every slight and insult. All of the times Sakura hit me and called me worthless compared to Sasuke. Every time Sasuke called me dobe; that hated nickname. All of the occasions where I had been abandoned by Jiraiya during our training, for him to go spy on the women in the bath houses ran through my head. Every time Kakashi-sensei had favored Sasuke or Sakura over me, training them while he stuck me with some half ass teacher that didn't know a kunai from his own dick. I relived all of them, every sensation, every sound, and every smell. It just kept coming and coming until I was ready to rip out all of my hair and scream until my voice was once again gone.
I wanted to rock back and forth like a child and cry and scream for them to stop but I couldn't. I already knew that this wouldn't stop until it was meant to. This was happening for a reason, which one I do not know, there was something in these memories that I was supposed to notice this time. So I listened carefully to each and every slur and insult as they came at me, reopening old and fresh wounds like heat seeking kunai. As I listened I couldn't help but doubt my first instinct. Maybe there was no purpose to all of this; maybe it was all just another way to torture me in this life. Maybe it was just that someone somewhere wanted me to rehash every horrible experience of my pitiful life. But all the same I couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen that I needed to experience in anyway that I could.
though you're still with me
And then as I listened I began to hear voice's that I wasn't familiar with. A woman's, a child's, and maybe a young man's voice that I had never heard reverberated through my ears. And for some reason I was drawn to listen to them, especially the woman's. It was if something in the sound of her voice pulled me in, wrapped around me and seemed to never want to let me go.
"Why are you doing this?"
"What have we ever done to you?"
"Why would you kill him?"
"Why Shippo? He was like my son!"
"He was so young why him why not me?"
"Is this because of the jewel? All you had to do was ask me and I would have cut it back out of my body myself! There was no need to involve him, any of them."
"How could you betray us like this? We-I loved you!"
And I knew in those moments that things were changing more than me or even Kyuubi had anticipated they would. I didn't know which to be: terrified or possibly hopeful that things I my life would actually change for the better.
I guess that time will only tell what my fate has in store for me.
As Neji had always told me, "Everyone has a fate Naruto. And even though you have taught me that one can change their fate, even you cannot fully escape the hands of destiny."
I do believe that it was time to put that theory to the test.
I've been alone all along
AN: so what does everyone think? Can anyone guess who those last voices were? Come on you guys can do it! Give me love our no new chapter!