The Good the Bad and The Fett

Jonathan and Andrew stood huddled around the small figure. "Oh! Its okay, it's okay. It'll be fine." Andrew sighed in relief; he had thought for sure that Spike was hell bent on totally destroying the small figure.

"Are you sure?" Jonathan gently removed the piece of plastic from his friend's hands, "You didn't miss anything, did you?" He turned the figure over and over again in his hands, inspecting it in minute detail.

"Maybe we should use the microscope?" Andrew suggested worriedly. "Just in case there are minute scratches, hidden from the human eye. Waiting to do their evil work when we least expect it. Silently eating away at Boba until one day he just crumbles to dust; to then be digested in the stomach acid of the giant rubbish heap in the sky."

"Yeah, good idea!" Jonathan hurried over to the table. Andrew found a small piece of foam and set it on the table, laying a soft cotton cloth over its surface so that Jonathan could carefully place the small plastic figure on it.

The pair glanced towards the room that Warren and Spike had disappeared into. "What do you think they're up to in there?" Andrew started to move towards the sound of murmuring voices. He could hear Warren asking questions and Spike's curt voice telling him to mind his own business, and then there was a threat of some sort that involved brain stems. Swallowing hard he edged a little closer.

"Do you really want to interrupt them?" Jonathan eyed the room nervously. "I mean what if Warren can't help and Spike kills him and then comes after us?"

Andrew's eyes widened comically. "Or he comes back to finish off the Fett." His eyes took on a dreamy quality, and his voice adopted the dramatic styling of a horror movie voice-over as he continued, "Oh the cruel irony to be snatched from certain death in the yawning jaws of a Sarlac only to fall prey to an evil Master Vampyre hell bent on destroying the Slayer and all those she protects."

"Yeah, whatever." Jonathan quickly dismissed his friend, concentrating instead on the figure before him as he finished his inspection. "There's no damage. He's fine," he announced. After standing the figure up he sat back, sighing with relief.

A noise from the rear of the room caused Andrew to scurry back to the table. The pair stood protectively in front of the figure as Spike strode through the room and headed outside. Andrew expelled a deep dramatic breath. "It's ok. He's gone."

Warren hurried up to them, asking worriedly, "How's Boba?"

Andrew gave him two thumbs up. "Everything is aok. What did Spike want?"

Warren seemed distracted as he answered, "Oh, he wanted me to test some chip thing in his head." He walked over to the table and bent down low, completing his own inspection of the recently threatened figure.

"Why would a vampire have a chip in his head?" Jonathan frowned as he tried to think of reason.

"I bet it's some sort of weapon he's had built in. To make him faster and stronger." Andrew began to pose, flexing his muscles as he did.

"He's not the bionic man you idiot, he's a vampire." Warren slapped Andrew across the back of the head. "He's already faster and stronger."

"Yeah well he'd still need help to beat Boba," Jonathon grumbled as he flopped down into one of the chairs.

Warren nodded in agreement. "Yeah cause Spike might be a vampire but Boba has that cool Mandalorian battle armour with the built-in rocket pack. Oh, rocket packs." Warren rushed over to the table, and snatching up a pad and pen he began to scribble furiously.

"Spike could still take him, though. He's like Luke, tempted by the dark side but fighting for the side of good in the end." Andrew defended the vampire, imagining Spike's leather coat being replaced with the flowing robes of a true Jedi.

"That's more like Darth Vader, if he was Luke he would never have been evil in the first place, he would have resisted the dark side of the force. Anyway, Boba has those cool kneepads with the concealed rocket dart launchers and that EE-3 blaster rifle," Jonathan pointed out happily.

"He's a vampire," Andrew retaliated. "Those things can't stop him., The force is strong with him, he can repel them with a mere wave of his hand." He slowly drifted his hand through the air in demonstration.

"Gauntlets," Warren commented.


Warren leaned forward, smirking at Andrew. "Boba Fett's gauntlets not only contain whipgaurd lanyard launchers but also…" he paused for dramatic effect, "a flamethrower. The last I heard vampires have a nasty reaction to fire, they tend to ignite rapidly, and then disintegrate into itty bitty little molecules of dust.

Andrew reeled back in shock, "Yeah well, Spike's too clever to be bought down by a stupid flamethrower."

"How?" Warren threw his arms up in the air in frustration; there was no convincing Andrew once he latched onto an idea. "How? How is he possibly going to avoid a flamethrower?"

"Have you seen how muscular and athletic Spike is?" Andrew's eyes lit up, "He's not weighed down by heavy armour and gadgets. He can float and spin like a true Jedi, unencumbered by excessive weapons. All he needs is his light sabre and the force and he can overcome any foe."

"He's not Luke Skywalker, Andrew. He's Spike. A vampire, remember?" Warren yelled at the boy.

"Well, I bet if they tested him Spike's Midaclorians would be off the chart," Andrew countered. "So he could so be a Jedi if he wanted to."

"What is it with you and Spike?" Warren decided to torment his friend a little. "It's like you're in love with him or something."

"Huh? No!" Andrew stammered before shrugging. "It's just, I mean he's just so cool; with the coat, and his hair, and his grrrr in-your-face attitude."

"So what does the chip thing do then?" Jonathan asked, in an attempt to steer his friends towards a safer topic.

"Oh." Warren rubbed his forehead. "No idea, it's emitting a steady pulse, but what it actually does…"he shrugged. "Spike wouldn't give me any idea, and I can't really tell from the readouts. But now that we've helped him he has to help us." Warren flopped into a chair before continuing smugly, "It's the evil doers' code." He began to rub his hands together. "And soon, with his help, the Slayer will be gone and Sunnydale will be ours." Warren laughed evilly, "Mwahahahahahah."

Jonathan and Andrew looked at each other before shrugging and joining in.

"Mwahahahahahahahaha." Being evil was so much fun.