Title: Sawyer is a Romantic
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or any of it's characters, yada yada yada.
Chapter 1: A Very Romantic Surprise
They were walking through the jungle for the better part of an hour and Kate still had no idea where Sawyer was taking her. Every time she tried to get it out of him he would simply smirk seductively and tell her he wouldn't want to spoil the surprise.
And that only made Kate more curious.
In all the time she'd been with Sawyer he had never surprised her before and she was just itching to find out what he had in store for her.
Although he wasn't saying much or divulging any hints as to what the surprise might be he seemed really excited. And his excitement served to cause a similar reaction in Kate. She noticed that he hadn't stopped smiling since he asked her to come along with him.
The electric silence between them gave way to Kate's now over-active imagination. She'd heard that Sayid once brought Shannon through the jungle to reach another part of the beach where he had set up a romantic dinner on a blanket, torches lighting the area.
She discreetly looked far ahead of them to see if she could see any hints of torch flames. But it was really too dark to see much of anything.
"We're almost there," Sawyer said. "Close your eyes."
She did so, albeit reluctantly, knowing that the surprise would be better this way. Hadn't Claire told her something about Charlie surprising her with her favorite food after he'd told her to close her eyes? She remembered thinking it was an adorable story but she doubted Sawyer would ever do something like that. Come to think of it, she wouldn't want him to anyway. If Sawyer brought her all the way out here to give her an empty jar of peanut butter, she'd sock him.
He moved behind her and slinked his arms around her waist, the front of his legs pressing against the back of hers to guide her. After a few steps, he stopped and so did she.
"Can I open my eyes now?" she asked.
She opened her eyes in expectant wonder but her expression quickly changed into one of confusion as she looked around.
"What am I supposed to be looking at?" she asked, tentatively, not wanting to hurt his feelings.
Sawyer walked in front of her and spread his arms out as if to capture the abundance of goodness he'd just presented her with.
"Look around!" he exclaimed. "We're completely alone here. There's no one for miles." He looked at her pointedly now. "This could be our own private love shack."
Kate did look around. There was no shack to speak of. Just lots of trees and... partial shade? Is that what he meant? She looked at Sawyer and he suddenly felt the need to explain.
"I could've wasted my time like Sayid building a hut for his sex adventures but did you see what happened? His little girlfriend up and died. And he can never use it anymore. Waste of time."
we could've borrowed it... Kate thought, fleetingly.
"But you havent seen the best part yet," Sawyer continued.
He walked over to a large fallen tree trunk and crouched down beside it. "Check this baby out." He patted it proudly. "Imagine all the things we could do with this thing. We could lay on it, sit on it, lean against it, ooo we could bend over it." This last addendum seemed to have just come to him. His eyes glazed over in a mixture of pride and awe as they swept along the surface of the tree. Sawyer draped a gentle arm across it's width.
"Aint she a beaut?" And in a barely audible choked whisper he added, "I call her Rhonda."
Kate stood very still and very, very confused watching the scene in front of her play out. She coughed and Sawyer remembered she was standing a few feet away.
He turned to look at her, his eyebrows arched suggestively as a wide grin began to spread itself along his face.
"You brought me all the way out here to have sex on a log?" she asked, incredulous.
"Yes?" Sawyer wasn't sure what he did wrong but Kate seemed to be getting upset. "What? It looks comfortable enough."
Kate walked over to Sawyer and his new trusty sidekick and examined them both curiously. "No, Sawyer. It doesn't. The trees are never comfortable, you know that. I still have marks on my back from last time. But that's besides the point."
The excitement was more or less all gone from Sawyer's face. He stood. "So you didn't like the surprise," he said, disappointed.
And suddenly, looking at him with his head bent in shame, Kate felt bad. He'd only tried to do a nice thing, after all.
She smiled and walked towards him, dispersing the space between them. "I like it." He didn't seem very convinced so she hugged him, resting her cheek against his shoulder. "I love it. The sex tree is..." she looked out into the distance, trying to think of the right word.
"I love the sex tree."
Kate looked up, seeing the hope in Sawyer's eyes. "Sure." She wondered if she sounded convincing enough. "Besides, I don't usually go for the romantic stuff, anyway," she said thinking of how Sayid and Charlie had surprised their girls.
Sawyer held Kate back suddenly and now he was upset all over again.
"Wait a minute, are you telling me you don't consider this romantic?"
"The sex tree?"
"Surprising you with the sex tree!" he tried to make it sound much nicer but it didn't have that effect.
Kate sighed. She was getting tired of convincing him his tree was a brilliant idea. She wasn't that good of a liar.
"Yeah. Ok. It was romantic," she said absent-mindedly. "Now take off your pants."
"I can do romantic in my sleep!"
And now she had to laugh. "Ok."
"What, you don't think so!"
"I didnt say that..."
"I'll prove it to you!" he said. "We're going out on a date tomorrow night. A bonafide, gen-u-ine date."
"Sawyer, you really don't have to do that–"
"I'm going to do it cuz I'm a romantic, damnit!"
And then he proceeded to take off his pants.