I really needed to get back to finishing this story. I can't just quit now, can I? Luckily, I ain't out of ideas…if that was what you're thinking… Anyway, before we start this chapter, let's ask everyone how they feel about this chapter.
Raptor: Well, for one, you made me look like a total moron in front of Hsien-ko. She plays with a zombie head for God's sake. Though I wouldn't mind if she played with my head…I mean…crap. Get that camera out of my face!
Hsien-ko: I can honestly say I'm just being myself. Other than the fact that I'm whining over a zombie head that I can just simply find at a graveyard or in Capcom's storage room or the supermarket. Did you know they're having a three-for-one sale now? Anyway, I'd still find myself mortal enemies with Blackheart if I were to meet him, but it's not like he's the prince of darkness or something, right? Right?
Blackheart: Well, I wasn't in the fic for a while 'til recently. But I rarely get to see zombies. I didn't expect to be so entranced by a zombie head. Puppets are so fun! And I should know. However, I had finally met the Darkstalkers for once. I've heard some good things and not so good things. But meeting only three doesn't exactly count. (I don't consider B.B. hood a Darkstalker…) I still remember that one night I had with Morrigan back then…so, when do we start the interview? ………oh.
B.B. hood: Considering that I'm a Darkhunter, I just gotta do something about these zombies roaming around town. With Jill by my side, we still have a tough time getting rid of them. The fool-the-zombies-into-ripping-their-heads-off-so-that-they-will-die-and-tossing-their-bodies-into-a-different-dimension plan would've worked had we even thought of what dimension we would be tossing them. Shuma Gorath was throwing them into our house! That moron, I'll kill that six-legged, one-eyed, freaktapus! …oh, and if you're wondering why I don't kill the other Darkstalkers, Capcom made me sign this treaty to "not hurt the property of Capcom". I didn't hear the end of it from Captain Commando when I accidentally tossed Rikou into a tub of acid. How was I supposed to know that was there? Heh.
Jill: I'm back to zombie hunting. With an experienced bounty hunter and a pair of bulldozers, we should have no problem dealing with the zombie infestation. But these guys just keep coming out of nowhere. Supposedly, they're all fans of Lord Raptor, a zombie guitarist famous for his concerts in the underworld. …what? Oh wait, this is an interview? Aw #$&!
Shuma Gorath: To those of you who don't know, this is rather the first time I've been introduced into a fanfiction. What I have to say is, where's the love? I thought I was popular enough to make it back to Marvel vs. Capcom 2… what? The whole thing included every Marvel character? Even Marrow? …what, the #$&? Still though, it's pretty nice, considering I've got a gun-bearing bounty hunter girl and a werewolf watching my every move. I just have problems warping dimensions in other dimensions I'm unfamiliar with. Like throwing zombie remains into their house was a big deal. I'm sure someone has taken care of that mess. Either way, my purpose was to bring the mentioned Marvel characters into the fic via dimension travel. I wonder if they're having a hard time than I am. …though I still remember that one night I had with Morrigan back then. So when do we start the interview? ……oh crap.
Marrow: Go away! (Breaks the camera)
Donovan: …and this is gonna prove…what?
Phobos: I AM A ROBOT. BEEP. WHO WANTS A MOLOTAV?
Rikou: I ain't exactly proud. I had ripped a whole fountain from the park and brought it back to our home so I can keep wet. That's pretty much the most interesting I've done in the whole fic. Then again, Capcom did kill me off in the anime. No one likes me…I'm gonna go help Anakaris make cookies! (walks away crying)
Anakaris: Man, I was in a toilet for over 4 hours and no one even bothered to help me. Well, except for Venom, but I still owe him money after that one night…want a cookie?
Anita: They'll never blame the sad girl…also, I hear Morrigan has been dating Demitri, but spends her other nights looking through the phonebook trying to contact Shuma Gorath's number. These nights, she looks through the "Dimensional Traverse and Hotline Telephony" phonebook. The numbers are endless.
Victor: I was brainless for the first two chapters, how do you think I feel?
Morrigan: I find the story thoroughly plotted out. It's going pretty well, and there are zombies in it! Zombies' people! Anyway, I can't help but notice how many zombie hate jokes there are in the story. But it's not a big deal. I mean, zombies aren't people anymore, right?
Demitri: I can't help but feel a bit out of character here. I mean, the anime fitted me perfectly! But these kinds of fanfiction can't be helped. I guess while I'm at it I'm gonna go dance around that sombrero on the ground while singing Don't Stop Me Now by some people.
Sasquatch: All I have to say is, it's about time I got introduced. A little fanality wouldn't hurt. I mean, some fiction dedicated to me isn't too much. I guess…OMG! A banana!
Q Bee: The story is good and all, but the crossover with Marvel was unexpected. Even though some Capcom fans have probably heard of Marvel vs. Capcom 2, the crossing was a bit out of fantasy. I mean, Venom keeps playing me into those webs of his. FOR THE LAST TIME VENOM, IT ISN'T FUNNY!
Venom: WELL, I'D LIKE TO…HOLD ON (VENOM TURNS OFF THE caps lock). Now, as I was saying. I'd like to note that I've had a troublesome time talking to Q Bee. Ever since I played that web trick on her, she's been ignoring me and saying that it wasn't funny every time I mention the prank. But seriously, Q Bee in a spider's web. It's too funny. Other than that, we get along fine. There won't be a friendly connection between us until later in the fic. I managed to sneak into the author's file and discovered the end of the fic. See, Jedah-
(Screen goes black)
(screen goes back on and we see the author)
Sorry, folks. Venom won't trouble you anymore. Now that that's taken care of, we can finally return to the fic.
Jedah: whoa, whoa, whoa. What about us?
Lilith: yeah. I thought we would talk or something.
Guys, this really isn't the time.
Jedah: All the other freaks got their rant. When do we get ours?
All you guys are gonna do is rant and whine. Who wants to hear the stars of the fic complain and beg for their release?
Jedah: Our chains are getting a bit uncomfortable.
Lilith: I'm used to it.
We had a contract. Do this and the other fic and you guys are free.
Jedah: There's gonna be a sequel?!
Lilith: Yay! I get to be in chains longer!
Lilith:……I mean…that sucks!
Nevertheless, you guys are still gonna do another fic after this-
…which happens after the fic in chronology-
While you guys relax in luxury.
Jedah: NNOOOO FU- what?
Yup. No more chains. You guys will be resting in perfect luxury, the finest an author can get with his l33t powers.
Jedah: Sounds cool, I guess.
Although, you two will have to share the same bed.
Jedah & Lilith: WHAT?!
Sorry. It was the only one left.
Jedah: YOU'RE PURE EVIL MAN! PURE EVIL!
Lilith: I'D RATHER WORK AS A WINDOW CLEANER THAN THAT!
We've kept the readers waiting long enough. Enjoy.
(lol i had mo4e fun +yp1ng t3h 1n+3r\/13\/\/$)
From where we left off, the zombie outbreak had died down enough for the people to leave the club. We soon discover, however, that there's a physical link between Morrigan and Lilith. Meaning that if Jedah doesn't kiss Lilith, Morrigan will find out that the date was a fake. On a side note, Morrigan is a virgin. Who knew?
Jill and B.B. hood's plan to kill off all of the zombies failed. At the moment, they are hiding in an old abandoned house that, unaware to them, has been 'claimed' by Marrow. Will they clash with the Bone Mutant in an honorable battle to the death or will Marrow kick them out leaving them to the zombies? I've got $10 on Marrow!
But instead! …we'll go to the Darkstalker household and see what everyone is up to.
"What a night," Q Bee said as she sat in front of the TV next to Sasquatch and Venom watching Seinfeld.
Sasquatch was knitting so he didn't pay much attention. Venom was looking to see if what he just saw on Seinfeld just happened and Q Bee was apparently in another one of her 'mind lockdowns'. She does that a lot. Donovan was in the kitchen making himself a sandwich, Anita was holding a can of cola, Anakaris was trying his best to distance himself from Anita at all costs, and Victor was playing Minesweeper on the computer in the middle of the living. How does one expect privacy with that thing there?
Then unexpectedly, someone knocks on the door.
"Oh, who could THAT be?" Victor said, getting up to get the door.
"Now before I ask who the hell are you, I wanna know…" Victor said as he opened the door, "…who the hell are you?"
"Sabretooth, last time I checked," Sabretooth said.
"It's about time you got here Sabretooth," Venom said, "things were getting boring pretty quickly with this girl here," he said pointing to Q Bee.
Q Bee got up, ignoring the 'comment', and went to the kitchen while Sasquatch, Victor, and Donovan, with a BLT in his hand, stared at Sabretooth oddly, with the exception of Anakaris.
"So, is Felicia home?" he asked.
"Uh, I think she's in her room or something," Donovan stated.
"Hey guys," Felicia, out of nowhere, said, "I just came out so that you'll know-"
As soon as she spotted Sabretooth, she immediately ran up to him and hugged him.
"OMG, I can't believe you're here!" she said.
"I said I was gonna visit sometime, remember?" Sabretooth said.
Sasquatch, Donovan, Q Bee, with a bowl off pizza rolls, Venom, Anakaris, and yes, even Anita, stared at the two oddly.
"What's going on?" Sasquatch whispered to Anakaris.
"Ugh, another one of B. Murders fics where Sabretooth and Felicia hook up." Anakaris said.
"What do you mean? I thought Sabretooth was Marvel. Where would he get such an idea?"
"He thought about it after playing Marvel vs. Capcom 2 for a while." Anakaris said bluntly.
Sasquatch blinked a couple of times and turned to Anakaris. "There was a 2?!"
Anakaris simply looked to Sasquatch with a half-lit face of no-surprise.
"How'd you get here anyway?" Felicia asked.
"Well, me and the other guys had a break so-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. 'Other guys'?"
"Uh, yeah. Me, Venom, Marrow, Blackheart, and Shuma Gorath are here."
"So, the streets are roaming with a bone spurting mutant, a six tentacle one eyed freak, a Hell lord demon of darkness, and a symbiotic monster…"
"Hey!" Venom responded to the comment.
"…are roaming the streets?"
"Actually, zombies are." Sabretooth said pointing to outside.
There, zombies were walking by moaning and stuff.
"I like pie!"
Moaned, the zombies.
"Why are these zombies walking around?" Felicia asked.
"Dunno. We got here before all this happened."
"Someone should clean this mess…"
"Actually, B.B. hood and Jill were supposed to handle it," Q Bee said "but I don't know what happened…"
"Hey Felicia, we don't have much time here. Can you help me find the others?" Sabretooth asked.
"How would I help?"
"Well, Shuma Gorath and Blackheart have some catching up to do with Morrigan and you might have an idea as to where to find them."
Felicia pondered for a moment.
"Okay, since this is a one night shot," she said as she walked outside with Sabretooth.
"Wow, the author is practically pushing those two together," Donovan said, who soon after was struck by lightning, "…ow"
"Great, now I'm stuck here with 3 losers and whatever the hell Venom is supposed to be," Q Bee said, watching Sabretooth and Felicia walk into town, with Sabretooth punching a zombie along the way.
And now, we go see what the gang is up to…uh, the one with the red psycho.
But first, I wanna play with a Pixter. :D
"Anyone got any other ideas?" B.B. hood said.
"No," said Jonathan.
"But, what are we gonna do about her?" Raptor said, pointing to Marrow.
"Another friend of yours?" Jonathan asked.
"Yeah," replied B.B. hood and Jill.
"First of all, I claimed this house. Second of all, you guys aren't allowed. Third of all, hi B.B. an' Jill," she said waving to B.B. hood and Jill, "and lastly, you three aren't allowed here."
"Wait, why do the girls get to stay here?" Raptor said, "…ohhhhhhh. I get it."
Raptor and his smart mouth were deliberately beaten by Marrow's club, B.B. hood's basket and Jill's rocket launcher afterward. The rocket launcher was out of ammo btw.
"Well, that's one down…" Jon said staring at Raptor's defiled corpse.
"After seeing their strength I really don't wanna screw up around them again," Shuma Gorath said.
"Back to the subject at hand, how are we going to kill all of those zombies?" Jill said.
"Why don't we throw Raptor's body out there and let them have it. I mean, that's why they're here, right?" Marrow said.
"You really think that zombie fans would be happy if they see Raptor's body like this?" B.B. hood asked.
"They were happy with his arm," Marrow pointed out.
"Yeah but only if they're the ones causing permanent subtractions to his body."
"OMG! That one was the funniest thing I've ever heard! HAHAHAH!" Jon yelled.
Everyone stared at him as he stopped laughing.
"Yo Shuma, can't you destroy these guys in a single blast?" Marrow asked.
"One: my powers aren't as strong as they were back in my dimension. Two: I can't kill zombies. They're out of my league," Shuma Gorath said.
"Is that what makes zombies so awesome?" B.B. hood asked.
"Oh yeah," Raptor said returning to subconscious-ness and lighting a cigar.
"You still alive?"
"Well, what about sending them into another dimension?" Marrow asked.
"Well, you'd have to be specific as to what dimension. Besides, my teleportation powers aren't as powerful here. Who am I, Blackheart? We'll need some kind of ultimate weapon for that job!"
At this, everyone had a look of thunk -ing -ness and then a sneaky grin.
I did not like their sneaky grin.
"Well, we best be getting home," Lilith said.
"What do you mean 'we'? I don't live with you guys!" Jedah complained.
"That's not what I meant dumbass! I meant we need to get into your car, drive me to my home and then kiss me and wishing me a goodnight."
"Two things…no, three. I'm not kissing you, and I ain't driving you home."
"…that's the thing. I don't have a car."
Lilith looked at him with surprise.
"You're saying that you don't have a car?! What kind of boyfriend are you?!"
"Hey, it's not like I knew we'd need one!"
"Not that! Why don't you have one already? First you say you're a lip-virgin and now you're saying you don't have a car?!"
(A/N: lip-virgin © of B. Murder lol)
"Well…I do have one."
"And coffee can't- …what?"
"I do have a car, but I don't use the old thing anymore."
Lilith cringed at the word 'old'.
"Well…it's better than nothing, I guess. Bring out the old thing already."
"Okay, but it's been awhile."
Using his PWNage powers, Jedah summoned his car from a pool of blood. Out of the pool came his car, an astonishing sight to Lilith.
Meanwhile, Morrigan and Demitri were waiting at a stoplight in Demitri's car where there was a line of zombies desperately needing to cross the road. The light was green, but Demitri chose not to run the zombies over. You can't just run over a zombie. That'd be like . . . . . . . wrong.
"Why did the zombies cross the road?" Demitri asked irritably, "to topple my mileage, that's why!"
Meanwhile, Jedah and Lilith had pulled over at the same stoplight in Jedah's car. Morrigan and Demitri had caught sight of the car.
It was a blue car with a smooth paintjob, fine wheels, white linings at the end of the car, flashy headlights, and a surround system, which isn't important. And FYI, it isn't easy describing cars; I got nothing but this! But I shouldn't interrupt you guys. In other words, it was a "pimpin'" ride as Lilith would call it.
If Lilith cared to look, she would see jealousy in her sisters' eyes while confusion in Demitri's eyes. The zombie's eyes were…meh.
Once the stoplight turned green, Jedah hit his car at high speed blowing smoke into Demitri and Morrigan's wake and leaving behind a trail of fire, as well as running over a zombie in the progress.
"What the (cough) hell was that?" Morrigan said.
"I think that was Jed's car," he said, fanning the smoke away.
Morrigan thought for a bit, thinking who this Jed guy really was. Before she came to a possible conclusion, Demitri spoke.
"Well, so what if their car can do that?"
"What can your car do?"
"Turn into a swarm of bats."
"What? Bats are cool."
"But zombies are still crossing and-"
"Do I give a damn?!"
The zombie who got ran over from before then pulled out a cell phone and spoke into it.
"Yo Chris, I'm gonna be late for the convention. Tell the others-"
However, the zombie then got ran over by Demitri's car, stopping his conversation and nearly crushing his phone.
"Sam?" the receiver said.
"…you know what? Never mind I'll be there."
Demitri had caught up to Jedah and soon made eye contact with each other. Demitri simply drove a bit faster and Jedah knew that he wanted a race. Jedah was one for competition and began shifting gears, despite Lilith's cries for stopping and don't-you-dare-hit-that-gear remarks.
Oh boy. This will get ugly…
"Yoink!" Hsien-ko yelled.
"I yoink back," Blackheart said, stretching his hand from a hole of darkness.
"Damn it! I hate it when he uses darkness like that!"
The quarrel between Hsien-ko and Blackheart for the zombie head continues as their 'battle' is taken to the middle of the streets. And, for no reason at all, zombies began to surround them placing bets and whatnot.
"Punch him in the ass!" one said.
"Which way's the bathroom?" another said.
"Just crap in your seat!" one more said before I blew its freakin' brains out.
"So that's where Blackheart went," Sabretooth said.
"I was wondering what happened to Hsien-ko too," Felicia said.
"Hey Blackheart, quit fooling around! Do you really want to spend your night like this?" Sabretooth asked.
Blackheart then stood up straight and looked to the two while holding the zombie head in one hand.
"I just want this zombie head. Can you wait a little?" Blackheart said, all the while Hsien-ko tried to remove the head from Blackhearts hand which didn't budge an inch.
"Okay then, we'll try looking for the others," Sabretooth said while Hsien-ko tried using a crowbar this time.
"I think you'll find them in a building surrounded by zombies. Raptor's with them," Blackheart replied with Hsien-ko still trying to remove the zombie head, this time using a jackhammer.
"Will you stop that?" Blackheart said.
After a second of staring, Hsien-ko took away the jackhammer and pwn3d it upside his head.
"AHH!" he yelled then fell to the floor clutching his face.
Hsien-ko took this time and ran away with the zombie head. Many of the zombies betted on Blackheart btw.
"So, see any buildings being raided by zombies?" Sabretooth asked.
"Nope, can't find any," Felicia said.
"You guys looking for hoards of zombies?"
They turned to see a Mountain Puma…I mean Jaguar, selling toy centipedes on a table talking to them.
"Can't help you there. But I can offer you two a pair of robot centipedes; dollar each," it said.
"I don't know. I haven't learned to trust Mountain Cougars," Sabretooth said.
"That's Mountain Jaguar to you."
"And why would we need robot centipedes?" Felicia asked.
"That is a question many have asked me yet I've failed to answer."
"So what would you tell them?"
"Wait," Sabretooth said, "what's a Mountain Leopard-"
"Bobcat, Sabretooth," Felicia said.
"It's Mountain Jaguar!"
"Mountain Tiger, whatever, be doing selling toy centipedes in the middle of a zombie outbreak?"
"Yeah, I want to know that too," Felicia said.
"Well…that…uh…wouldn't it reel in the customers?"
"Are you even a Mountain Lion?"
"It's Mountain Jaguar!"
"So what are you trying to do actually?" Sabretooth asked.
"……hey, we're blood, right?"
"Not really," the two said.
"Fine! If I can't make a living here what expectations can I get with insolent people around?!" he said bringing out a suitcase packing up his toy centipedes, "I try and I try but I get no respect. Guess its back to the Mountain for me."
After packing up everything, including the table, he handed Sabretooth a key of some sort.
"There. What's the point of trying to sell that thing? You can have it. Go wild," he said leaving.
"…okay. So, what kind of key did you get?" Felicia asked.
"I dunno. Probably a tank of centipedes," he said pressing the button.
The wall behind them then exploded revealing a giant centipede.
"…or a centipede tank!" Felicia said.
"Wow, from here it looks like a big…tank."
"Let's get on it!"
I think you perverts know what it actually looks like from that angle. Once again, I'm wasting you're time…and I'm having fun doing it! Nyah!
"HAHAH! You'll never catch me on my batman mobile!" Hsien-ko yelled as she was being chased by Blackheart, who yelled out loud.
"COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!"
"HAHAH! You'll never catch me on my Wonder scooter!" Hsien-ko yelled as she was being chased by Blackheart.
"God dammit! Gimme back the head!" Blackheart said.
"No way. The only way to catch me is if you had a Wonder Scooter or something!" she said.
"A Wonder what now?" Blackheart said, floating right beside her at the same speed.
"Crap…I didn't know you can fly."
"I didn't know you had a scooter."
"I didn't know you'll be hit by a wall."
"I didn't…what wall?"
"…that wall," she said as she drove away.
"Ugh, my face," Blackheart grieved.
"Hey dude," said a zombie, "giant centipede tank at four o' clock."
"Are you still talking?! Wait? What centipede tank?"
"Yeah! Yippee Kayae Mother#$er yeah!" Felicia yelled on top of the centipede.
"Oh crap!" Blackheart yelled.
"Hey Felicia," Sabretooth said, "any idea how to drive this thing?"
"I have no idea, but I've never ridden a giant centipede before."
"No one has and probably never will," he pointed out.
"Sabretooth?" Felicia asked.
"Isn't Birdie supposed to be with you?"
"Hmm, I think I lost her…"
"What do you mean you lost her?"
"Nope, wait, I remember. I left her with Marrow," he said.
"Say, any idea where Marrow is?" she asked.
"She said she would be isolating an old building…"
"But if Blackheart said that the others are at an old abandoned building…"
Sabretooth and Felicia (A/N: 3) both came to a conclusion.
(A/N: to those of you who don't know, if you've read my other fics, then you'd know why there's a reason for this 3 thingie, so STFU!)
"Okay guys," Jon said, "if we're going to do anything about those zombies then there's only one thing we have to do left."
"Well then let's hear it Wolf man," Marrow said.
"It's a quite complicated plan that took me hours to formulate in my head; shorter if I had paper, but I'm sure it will work. Now listen up. First-"
"Hey guys!" Jill said, "we looked deeper into the old house and found THREE bulldozers! Isn't that awesome?!"
"Now we can use them against the zombies with no problem. Isn't that cool?!" B.B. hood said.
"…N-No it isn't! I see bulldozers all the time and my plan doesn't need them," Jon said.
"Too bad wolf boy," Raptor said.
"Each bulldozer can hold two people. So two of us are gonna have to make space to fit all seven of us."
"…Wait, isn't there six of us?" Shuma Gorath said.
"Then who the hell is she?" Raptor said pointing to Birdie drinking tea.
"Don't mind me."
"OMG! Birdie!" B.B. hood squealed as she ran over to Birdie.
"Hey there B.B. Nice to see you too Jill," she said.
"Great! With Birdie here, we have an even better chance of killing all zombies," Jill said.
"Hello? I'm right here?" Raptor asked, but was ignored.
"Sorry, I ain't doing any zombie killing," Birdie said.
"What? Why not?" B.B. hood asked.
"I was only told to stay with Marrow. Nothing more, nothing less."
"But…but…but!" B.B. hood said starting to cry.
"Well, we are gonna go out there and fight zombies," Marrow said, "So you should come with us if those are your orders."
"Wait, who told you to stay here?" Raptor asked.
"My boss, Sabretooth," she said, taking another sip of her tea.
B.B. hood, Jill, Marrow, and even Shuma Gorath, had a look of uneasiness on their faces while Jon and Raptor looked confused.
"Did we miss something?" Jon asked.
"Of course we did," Raptor said.
"Well, we best get to those bulldozers, shall we?" Birdie said.
"Why are we here again?" one zombie said.
"I forgot. Man I really need to get a brain for memory, y' know?" another zombie said.
"Hey, how many of us are left by the way?"
"…I think about 400."
"Look out!" a random zombie said.
"Look out for what, random zombie?"
"A giant centipede is coming this way!"
"No way," they said dully.
"No way," they said dully again.
"Yes way!" it said pointing to the giant centipede closing in.
"NO WAY!" they yelled.
"Have you learned to drive this thing yet?" Felicia asked.
"Almost, but I can't find a brake for this thing…" he said looking in the manual.
"Wait…is this thing supposed to stop?"
Before he could answer, Sabretooth quickly moved to the side to avoid the slash of an angry Blackheart.
"What the hell were you guys thinking running me over like that?!"
"Oh, hey Blackheart."
"Don't you 'hey' me! I could've been killed!"
"Hey Blackheart," Felicia said.
"I thought I said don't 'hey' me!"
"Whatever. But weren't you supposed to be fighting for the zombie head with Hsien-ko?" Felicia asked.
"Hey Blackheart!" Hsien-ko yelled.
Blackheart looked over to the side of the giant centipede to see Hsien-ko driving a wide Jeep holding the zombie head in her other hand.
"You lose the game now the zombie head is mine!" she spoke with the zombie head.
"Why you little!"
Blackheart threw an Inferno at Hsien-ko…you know? the one where he shoots something into the ground and ice comes out? Anyway, he did that and nearly hit her.
"WHOA! Hey you can't kill me! if you did, you'd be sued by Capcom for killing off one of their characters and Marvel would have to hand over the Green Lantern in exchange for me!"
"…isn't the Green Lantern © of DC?"
"COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT!" Sabretooth and Felicia yelled.
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Blackheart threw an Inferno at Hsien-ko…you know? the one where he shoots something into the ground and ice comes out? Anyway, he did that and nearly hit her.
"WHOA! Hey you can't kill me! if you did, you'd be sued by Capcom for killing off one of their characters and Marvel would have to hand over the Green Goblin in exchange for me!"
"She's right Blackheart, you can't kill her." Sabretooth said.
"Do I care?" he said before he shot another Inferno but was then ambushed by Sabretooth and Felicia.
"Listen you moron. It doesn't matter how many times you try to kill her, every shot you take will add up to the lawsuit issues," Sabretooth said.
"Since when did you guys know this stuff?" Blackheart asked.
"We needed to know this stuff after Marvel complained about Capcom's lack of license in the internet connectivity for X Box," Felicia said.
"Yo Blackheart, I heard you were the worst player at twister!" Hsien-ko yelled.
"Why you little!" he said, getting and tossing an inferno at her which missed and collided with an old building.
"So, now that we have these bulldozers, how are we gonna get out?" Jon asked.
"Are you that simple-minded?" B.B. hood said, "Guys, get ready to-"
Before she could finish her sentence, the wall in front of them exploded in an ice mesh.
"…that works too," B.B. hood said.
The giant centipede then trampled its way by the wall as zombies were crushed under its massive…things. It took about three minutes for the big thing to pass by.
"…what the hell was that?" Raptor said.
"We're ZOMBIIIIIEEEESSSSS!" the zombie said.
"…RAM THAT SON OF A BITCH!" B.B. hood yelled.
"AHH!" the zombie yelled.
"So, anything from the manual?" Felicia asked.
"Nope," Sabretooth said.
"Wait a minute," Blackheart said; looking closer, "it's just a dinosaur pop-up book!"
"So it is," Sabretooth said, then pulled on a slit of paper, "Look at the little birdie fly!"
"Then how do we turn?" Felicia asked.
"How are we gonna stop?!" Blackheart yelled.
"Oh, the instructions are on the end of the book," Sabretooth said, "it says here, 'Tilt left antennae to turn left. Tilt right antennae to turn right. Pull both antennae back to brake'."
"Well alright. Let's brake," Blackheart said.
"Yeah, maybe we should," Felicia said.
"Why?" Sabretooth asked.
"…you're right. Why?"
"But…guys," Blackheart mumbled.
"Quiet Blackheart. Minutes ago, you were fighting with a Chinese ghost over a zombie head."
"Yeah, you can get one right here or at the Supermarket," Sabretooth said, diving to the right to borrow a head and handed it to Blackheart, "they've got a three for one sale now."
With his newfound head, Blackheart simply stayed quiet staring at the zombie head.
"Eh, good enough."
And now, for no reason whatsoever, here's an interview with a fly.
"I woke up today at the sound of police sirens outside my window. I knew I couldn't be caught again so I tried to-"
"Damn flies," Sasquatch said, retracting the flyswatter.
And then this happened…
"…I sense a disturbance," Q Bee said to herself.
"Nah, you're probably having your period," Sasquatch said.
Sternly, she snapped her fingers. Venom looked to his side and immediately backed away in time to avoid a swarm of angry bees attacking Sasquatch, who screamed in pain as he dropped his knits. Looking at the knits, Q Bee picked them up and looked at them as Venom resumed watching Seinfeld. After a while, Sasquatch stopped screaming.
"Uh, you're supposed to keep the left stitch holding the thread the right one's fixating," he said.
After Q Bee took his advice, she got the hang of it and resumed knitting. Too bad Sasquatch was stupid enough to talk again.
"You know, from right here your boobs look like targets."
After another snap of her fingers, another swarm of bees came in and dived at the idiot fluff ball, who screamed even louder again.
"You know? I can't help but feel that there's danger in our future," Q Bee said.
"How so?" Venom asked.
"I don't know, but it feels like the cause of danger lies in the streets…"
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Lilith yelled, whose face climaxed at over 400 miles per hour.
"HOW FAST DOES YOUR CAR GO?!" Lilith yelled, who had to, to talk to Jedah over the roaring winds.
"I GET ABOUT 500 MILEAGE ON THIS THING. THANKS FOR ASKING," Jedah yelled.
"NO, I MEAN, HOW FAST CAN YOUR CAR GO?!"
"YOU WANT ME TO GO FASTER?!"
"OKAY? OKAY!" Jedah yelled as he shifted gears again, possibly hitting the speed of light brink.
"JEDAH! I THINK YOU CAN STOP NOW! I THINK WE WON!"
"DID YOU SAY 'YOU STINK IN A POT HOW WE LINK TO A GUN'? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!"
"NO YOU DUMB &$+! SLOW DOWN!"
"LOOK BEHIND YOU! THEY'RE STILL FOLLOWING US!"
When Lilith looked behind her, she saw that Demitri's car had sprouted wings already as was almost at the same speed as theirs.
"My car may not be a pro racecar, but its speed is next to nothing in the air," Demitri said, being safe from the blinding speed thanks to a window pane called a windshield.
"HEY JEDAH! HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN DRIVING?!" Lilith asked.
"UH, ABOUT 4 HOURS, I THINK."
"WHEN WILL WE GET TO THE FINISH LINE?"
"YOU MEAN WE'VE BEEN DRIVING AT 400 MILES PER HOUR FOR NO REASON?! I GOT A G-FORCE FACELIFT THANKS TO YOU!"
Lilith then reached over to grab Jedah's wheel forcefully.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"
"I'M TURNING THIS THING AROUND!"
"DON'T PRESS ANYTHING! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'LL HAPPEN!"
Seeing a red button, Lilith pressed it, hoping to stop the car at least. To Jedah's despair, the button caused the car to sprout wings like Demitri's car. Problem? These wings looked like Jedah's wings. At the velocity the car was going, the car soon flew to the sky bypassing Demitri's car.
"I thought you said your car was the fastest in the sky?" Morrigan said.
"I know I said that. It's just…that car looks familiar…" Demitri said.
Having resumed at the speed where they didn't have to yell, Lilith looked down and then turned to Jedah.
"I didn't know this car had wings," Lilith said.
"It does, but look closely at the wings," Jedah said, slouching in the car's steering wheel.
Lilith realized that they looked like Jedah's wings and if anyone saw them then they'd be free to guess who Lilith was really dating.
"…crap. Hurry! Fly this thing down! Fly me home, now!"
"There's a little problem to that request," Jedah said sheepishly.
The car then made a putting noise, you know? That noise were you can tell if something has…
"…ran out of gas," Jedah finished for me.
The moment before they fell to the ground, Lilith said to Jedah in an honest and docile matter.
"I hate you."
The screen then turned all black and white with that KZZZT sound. Seconds later, it turned back on again.
"Sorry for having to interrupt your program. This is a reminder to all you readers that you should not be afraid of any character deaths that miraculously will not happen in this fiction. Please, do not be afraid, as Jedah and Lilith will make it out alive. And now, we resume to the program," Bishamon said, ". . . . . . I'm not even in this fic."
"La de da de da de da!" Hsien-ko hummed as she drove in her Jeep.
"Good thing I lost that giant centipede. I was afraid I would get crushed or something."
"…aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Jedah and Lilith yelled from above.
Hsien-ko looked up to see a blue winged car falling right down for her.
"Aw $& me."
I told you you're fired! …anyway.
"…Jedah?" Lilith asked, "Does your car have a backup system?"
"No, why?" Jedah said.
"Then why are we still driving?"
"Hey! Who the hell is this?" Hsien-ko yelled from below.
"Who the hell are you?" Jedah yelled back.
"Jedah? Is Lilith with you?"
"What are you doing down there Hsien-ko?" Lilith asked.
"You guys came out of nowhere and landed on my car! What kind of date are you guys on?!"
Suddenly, Jedah and Lilith drove their hands into the bottom of the car.
"It's not a date!" they yelled.
(A/N: lol they said it.)
"Grab her by the hair, I'll go for the hat!" Jedah said.
"Where is she? She keeps moving!" Lilith said.
Suddenly, Hsien-ko busted her head through the car as if it were an ordinary wall.
"Wow, this is really weak footing for a car. What is this, plaster?"
"Get her!" they yelled.
After a quarrelling struggle, the three then came to a realization.
"Wait a minute," Lilith said, "Hsien-ko, where are your hands?"
"Trying to bust through the crappy footing of a machine you call a car."
"Hey!" Jedah said.
"So, who's driving?" Lilith asked.
After another moment of thinking, they realized that no one was driving.
"Hsien-ko, get back down and drive!" Jedah yelled.
"I can't! My head's stuck! I can't see where I'm driving!"
"Then remove your head or something!"
"What do you think I am? A zombie?!"
All the while, Lilith was reading the street sign as they went by.
"…Swamp-man blvd…Werewolf blvd…New Jersey avenue …Elm street…Dusky blvd…Wood-face blvd…hey Hsien-ko, don't we live in Wood-face blvd?"
"Uh, yeah. A few blocks down the Candy man shop," she said.
Another awkward moment of silence passed as the three came to another conclusion.
And this one wasn't so pretty.
"Hey Morrigan, my car's running a little low on fuel. I'm gonna have to make a quick stop at a gas station. Is that ok?" Demitri said.
"Sure. I can't even find Lilith and Jed. But I also don't see a gas station in sight," Morrigan said.
"Hmm, we'll need some form of transportation that'll carry my car to the nearest gas station without the express of midair travel."
"How about that giant centipede?" Morrigan said, pointing to the large orange…thing.
"…eh, good enough."
To the centipede!
"So, do you guys plan on stopping anytime soon?" Blackheart said.
"Nah, not really," Felicia said.
"We still need to find the others," Sabretooth said.
Blackheart looked at the two back and forth.
"Alright, seriously. If you guys are gonna do it, then do it already. I mean, c'mon. How long do we have to wait? Go ahead and make them do it already. It's not like you'll drive away your readers," Blackheart, receiving strange looks from Sabretooth and Felicia.
"…what?" Sabretooth said.
Blackheart simply stared at the two in stern and said.
"Hey guys!" Demitri yelled.
"Was that Demitri?"
"If it's ok, I'll land my car on this centipede. No problems, right?"
Sabretooth and Felicia pointed to Demitri and said.
"You need to buy a permit first!"
"Are you guys saying you own this thing?!" Blackheart asked as Demitri's car landed having run out of gas.
"Hey guys, I need to make a quick pit stop over at the gas station. You think you guys can take us there?" Demitri asked.
"You're asking the wrong questions Demitri. These guys don't plan on-"
"According the manual, commanding the centipede to take you to a certain area is all that is needed to transport you to your destination," Sabretooth said as Blackheart glared at him angrily.
"Well, okay then. Hey centipede fella, can you-" Demitri said, but was interrupted.
"Now wait a minute here! How long do you guys plan on ignoring me?" Blackheart said, "I did not agree to come back here just so that I would be annoyed and ignored to a trauma point!"
"Why did you come here then?" Morrigan asked.
"Oh, well, actually I came to see Morrigan, mostly."
"For what?" Demitri asked.
"Well, I still had to talk to her about that-"
Suddenly, Captain Commando came by running like crazy on the side of the centipede.
"Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo! Cameo!"
Strangely, he was running faster than the centipede. Captain Commando was soon out of sight causing an atmosphere of awkwardness.
"…okay." Blackheart said.
"So, you need to talk to her about what now?" Demitri asked.
"Okay, centipede, take us to the gas station," Sabretooth commanded as the…thing, roared in agreement…then turned left.
"Hey, Felicia, isn't that your house we're heading for?" Sabretooth asked.
"I do believe it is," Felicia replied.
"I thought we were going to the gas station," Morrigan said.
"Oh yeah, wherever is our desired destination, the centipede will head towards that place no matter what's in the way," Sabretooth said.
"And the nearest gas station is 2 blocks down our house west," Felicia said, "was that in the manual?"
"No. I made it up, but it looks like the centipede doesn't plan on stopping…"
Moments of silence…screams of fear…really-pulling-hard of antennae's…
"To be honest, I thought there would be more zombies out here to PWN," Jill said.
"The giant centipede has been killing off most of them," Shuma Gorath said.
"Then again, with Raptor with us, the rest will be easy to kill," B.B. hood said.
"So all I gotta keep doing is scream to my fans and tell them to lay on the floor, right?" Raptor asked.
"As long as you keep doing that," Marrow said.
"Why am I driving a bulldozer again?" Jon asked.
"Because your lack of coordination is so awful it could be used as a weapon," Birdie said, sipping some tea.
All 7 of them were driving bulldozers, PWNing zombies in the way. For some reason, the zombies were easily defeated by bulldozers, but Shuma Gorath's powers were ineffective against, which made no sense at all.
"Hey Shuma?" Marrow asked.
"If these bulldozers can kill zombies and you can't, does that mean a bulldozer is greater than you?"
"Sure looks like it."
"Well, maybe if I had an infinity gem…"
"Oh, you mean this thing?" B.B. hood said, bringing out an infinite gem from her pocket.
"…where the hell did you get that?"
"Blackheart gave it to me, thinking it was some cheap jewelry."
"You mean you stole it."
"Yeah, but the gift was for Morrigan and she didn't want it, so she gave it to me."
"You mean you stole it?"
"Whatever, just give me the infinite gem!"
"How do we know you won't run away with it?"
"An infinite gem will enhance my abilities, meaning I can kill these zombies quicker!"
"We could use a powerhouse," Jill said.
"Just give it to him B.B. hood," Jon said.
"Fine," B.B. hood said as she handed Shuma the gem.
"Wait a minute," Marrow said, "different gems have different effects. What kind of effects will this one have?"
"I don't know, but I'll try focusing on destruction," Shuma said as the gem glowed.
Then, in front of them, came a hole from another dimension. And out of the hole came…wait. OMFG! It's a hole! …anyway. Out of the hole came a tsunami of water!
"CRAP!" they yelled.
"This is the last time I lend you a dial of destruction!" B.B. hood yelled.
"It wasn't my fault! Seriously!"
"Guys! This is bad news!" Jon yelled to the others.
"Really? I couldn't tell!" Raptor yelled.
"This flood is heading towards Wood-face blvd."
"And?" B.B. hood asked.
"This flood is carrying us back to our house!"
"Our house will be destroyed!"
"B.B. hood, quit playing around. You live there too, you know?"
"Our bulldozers will totally damage the house!" Raptor yelled.
"And we still haven't paid of the warrant!" Jon yelled.
"No! The warrant!" B.B. hood yelled.
"I knew she was gonna say that."
"Can't you guys change this things direction?" Blackheart yelled.
"I can't! Once this thing is given a destination, it won't stop until it gets there!" Sabretooth yelled.
"We're gonna crash!" Felicia yelled.
"Hey guys, breaking news," Q Bee said.
"This is pandemonium. Chaos is everywhere as the zombie outbreak dies down but only brings more trouble to the town. At the moment, a giant centipede is heading towards a house on Wood-face blvd as well as a giant flood from nowhere from the other side. And for no reason at all, I'm gonna shove dry spaghetti up my nose," the anchorman said.
Q Bee, Venom, Victor, Donovan, Anita, Sasquatch, the attacking bees, Phobos, Rikou, and Anakaris leaned to the left of the television to see the giant centipede heading towards them.
"We estimate that there will be no survivors. Coming up next, the lottery!"
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" they screamed.
"Lilith, this all your fault!" Jedah yelled, "If you didn't want to show up your sister so badly, none of this would've happened!"
"Well, excuse me for trying to have a wonderful night!" Lilith shouted.
"Uh, guys? Are we gonna crash?" Hsien-ko asked.
"Well, maybe if you had the guts to say yes in the first place, your reputation wouldn't be on the line!" Lilith yelled.
"Why should I bother hanging out with someone like you? Why can't you get a date yourself?" Jedah shouted.
"Because my sister keeps killing my boyfriends!"
"…really? You shouldn't be jealous! How does that make you jealous?"
"Do you realize that she'll try to kill you too?"
"But then, that would be a problem."
"I have lost all respect for you!"
"Like I had any for you in the first place she-devil!"
"Kiss me now!"
"I don't see why not!"
And then they kiss.
Hsien-ko was watching the whole time, now feeling a little traumatized on the inside. She pulled her head down into her jeep believing it was just a dream.
"Okay, that was weird. Huh?"
The house is now meters away from crashing into distance. This is gonna suck.
Everything is frozen as if someone pressed the pause button.
"Hello there, it's me, Bishamon," Bishamon said as he sat in a Hollywood chair with a TV next to him showing everything that is happening in the fic.
"To business, I'm here to send a last-minute message to the readers from the author himself. Due to the longevity of this fic and at the same time passing the page numbers of the last chapter, he'd like me to tell you that this will be the last chapter. We thank you for your support after these long months but it's time this fic has come to a close."
"What about the epilogue?" Pyron said.
"Wait a minute. Aren't you supposed to be dead?"
"Aren't you supposed to be banished from the armor?"
"Good point. Anyways, about the prologue, the author still hasn't decided if the epilogue should be the last chapter, or a separate story."
"I say the last chapter, since there isn't any point in just adding a new story."
"Well, I say it should be a separate story, since the author has issues with finishing chapters and he really doesn't want to keep the readers waiting. Plus, it may get him some people on author alert."
"…how'd you stop the story? I mean, isn't it airing live in the studio?" Pyron asked.
"And now, back to our- hey, what the hell are you doing are you doing?" Bishamon asked as Pyron stole the remote.
"I wanna watch the game," he said as he changed the channel to a football channel.
"Don't you know what happens when you change the channel while pausing a live recording?!" Bishamon yelled.
It was too late though. Pyron had already changed the channel and saw everyone within the recording in football uniforms and playing like they knew what the hell they were doing!"
"Cool …heh, she saw that one coming. Wonder what's on Animal Planet?"
"Stop that!" Bishamon yelled.
"Now I wanna go to Shark Week."
Bishamon then tackled Pyron in an epic battle for the TiVo remo! Which ended after 2 minutes with Bishamon being the winner.
"Damn fireman," he said.
"BISHAMON WINS. FATALITY," a voice from above roared.
"Hey, aren't you that guy who voices those Mortal Kombat matches? What the hell are you doing here? And stop speaking in Caps!" he yelled looking around.
"Well, they've already recorded my voices for Mortal Kombat: Armageddon, so now I'm just bored."
"Hey, dude," Pyron pointed from below, "I need a guy to voice my battles and you have the voice, man."
"Really? What's my pay?"
"Sorry dude, Capcom has no license to be using his voice and Konami already has enough lawsuit issues as it is," Bishamon said.
"Oh. Oh well, tough luck pal," Pyron said.
"You know, I heard Thanos has been looking for someone to voice over his attacks and you could work."
"Yeah. He wants someone who could imitate Scorpion for his moves."
"Oh, I can imitate lots of voices, like this," clearing of throats is heard, "Get over here!" he yelled, imitating Scorpion.
"Perfect! You can find Thanos around the ice cream shop."
"…is he gone?" Pyron asked.
"Thanos isn't looking for someone to voice his attacks," Pyron said.
"Yeah? Well, that's Marvel's problem now," Bishamon said.
"No wonder Marvel and Capcom disbanded."
"Hey morons," Dee said.
"Who the hell are you? You look like Donovan and Demitri put together in a blender with the smoothie button on full blast," Pyron said.
"…what the hell did he just say?" Dee asked.
"Why are you here Dee? I thought we said you don't have any position within our company yet," Bishamon said.
"I know, but still. You guys are wasting too much time," Dee said, snatching the remote from Bishamon.
"How do you change this thing?" Dee said as he tried pointing to the TV.
"He's holding it backwards," Pyron said.
Dee tried pushing a few buttons, but with the remote pointing towards him, his clothing changed. Now, he was a cowboy! Eat that Chuck Norris!
"…what are you guys looking at?" Dee asked.
The two were snickering holding in the laughter as Dee tried to change the channel. This time, he was black and white.
"For some reason, my only choices of ice cream flavor are now vanilla and chocolate."
He tried changing the channel again only to look poorly drawn.
"…what smells like lol?" he asked.
Before he pressed another button, Pyron snatched the remote.
"I can't believe this thing can change people too!" Pyron said.
"Me too! I had no idea this thing was that powerful," Bishamon said.
Pyron then pressed another button and Dee became Italian. Bishamon pressed another button and Dee turned into a zombie. Pyron pressed another button this time and then he turned into a turtle.
"OMG, best ego yet!" Pyron said.
A beeping was heard as Bishamon looked at his digital watch.
"Uh, it's 3:00 Pyron," Bishamon said.
Dee turned into a shark when the beeping was heard.
"Aw crap! Go back! Go back!" Pyron yelled as he tried pressing random buttons.
Bishamon simply pressed the off button as Dee turned to normal.
"…Never. Do. That. Again," Dee said.
"Okay, but seriously, he's right. We need to get back to the story now," Bishamon said.
"Fine, but I'm keeping the remote after," Pyron said as Bishamon pressed the play button to the screen.
"…ugh, what happened?" Lilith said, rubbing her head.
Rubble, rubble, everywhere, and not a living soul in sight. That's because everyone's a $&ing Darkstalkers ya $&ing loser!
"Is the Centipede okay?" Blackheart said.
"NO! My baby!" the mountain Jaguar yelled as it ran to the giant beast, which was half dead from the collision, and hugged it.
"Felicia, you okay?" Sabretooth asked; who barely had a scratch on him.
"Yeah, I'm okay," Felicia said, not having a scratch either!
"What a mess," Morrigan said.
"At least my car is still in one piece," Demitri said, who touched his car which then fell apart into, like, a gazillion pieces.
"Is everyone dead yet?" B.B. hood asked.
"No, I think we're still alive, thank you very much," Jon said.
"How could you not know a flood would happen?" Marrow asked.
"You guys wanted to get rid of all the zombies and they're gone," Shuma Gorath said, "…wait. What happened to the infinity gem?"
"And it was such a good bulldozer too!" Jill said, crying over a shattered bulldozer.
"…has anyone seen my tea?" Birdie asked.
"CAMEO! CAMEO! CAMEO! CAMEO! CAMEO! CAMEO!" Captain Commando yelled.
"I was watching that," Venom said, sitting on the couch with a missing television.
"Anita, are okay?" Donovan asked.
"Anything but happy," Anita replied.
"Knit one, pearl two," Sasquatch repeated, knitting while covered in bee stings.
"That's right, keep knitting," Q Bee commanded.
"Other than the importance of safety, does anyone want a cookie?" Anakaris asked.
"Hey Rikou, your fountains all out of water now," Victor said.
"Oh shut up. You're only saying that because you had no physical importance in the story at all," Rikou said.
"Hsien-ko! My dear, I'm glad you are safe!" Raptor said.
"Who are you? The Sanji of Darkstalkers?" Hsien-ko asked.
"Wait, where's Jedah?" Lilith asked, who failed to realize what she had just said right now.
"…did she just say Jedah?" Morrigan asked.
"Why would Jedah be dating Lilith? I thought he was cool like that," Demitri said.
Q Bee then began to stutter to herself as she had just realized that their little night-of-a-date had gone completely wrong.
"How did this happen?" she whispered to herself.
"Lilith soon found Jedah under a pile of bricks. Now, Jedah was in his original form with the blue shirt, the weird yellow strands, everything.
"Oh, good, you're alive," Lilith said, lifting him up while everyone watched, "For a second there, I thought that I wouldn't get to show up Morrigan one more time."
"Show me what now?" Morrigan asked.
Lilith looked at Morrigan then to the unconscious Jedah. Jedah to Morrigan. Morrigan to Shuma Gorath. Centipede to grieving Q Bee. Morrigan to Demitri. Random zombie to Jedah.
"AH!" she yelled as she tried pushing Jedah back into the bricks.
"T-This isn't what it looks like!" she yelled as Jedah struggled to get free.
"…okay, not even I know what just happened," Morrigan said, "can we all just be honest and tell our side of the story?"
"Morrigan trying to be fair in judgment?" Lilith asked, "What has been going on tonight?"
After a quick reread of the chapter…I mean, random and unnecessary flashbacks.
"I see, so Q bee set you two up to help Lilith and had Jedah do so against his will?" Morrigan clarified.
"Yeah," the two said dully.
"Guess keeping that horse a secret didn't work out so well, huh Jedah?" Demitri asked.
"I know," Jedah answered as an undead horse with a penguin on its head walked in.
"Squawk!" the horse screeched.
"I know. Will you let it go already?" Jedah said.
The penguin made some chicken noises as it clutched the horse and flew away, leaving only the horses hooves.
"Does that mean you guys will be leaving?" Felicia asked.
"Yeah, the nights almost over and we need to leave," Sabretooth said.
"Wait a minute, who the hell is this?" Jon asked.
"Jon, this is an old friend of mine. Call him Sabretooth," Felicia said.
"Is he another Marvel character?"
"Hey dude, you going somewhere with this?" Sabretooth asked.
"He always acts like this whenever I'm with a friend. I was surprised Capcom kept its bond with Namco after that little scuffle between Jon and King," Felicia said.
"Well, is it my fault to be jealous?" Jon asked.
"You really need to calm down wolf boy. I've met ruder people than you," Sabretooth said.
"Geez, why does the author always try to push me away from them?" Jon said to himself.
"Will you stop breaking the fourth wall already? It's getting annoying," Felicia said.
"What wall? Everything has been torn down because of tonight. If you two hadn't rented that giant centipede, mostly none of this would've hapaaaaaaaa……" Jon said, falling to the floor with a tranquilizer dart in his arm.
"God, no one likes a whiner," B.B. hood said, holding the tranquilizer gun.
"WHY?!" Q bee yelled, running over to Jedah and grabbed his collar.
"Why did this have to happen? I was so close to finding happiness in extortion!" she yelled.
"Will you let him go? It's not totally his fault," Lilith said.
"If only it were any other night. Any other night than this!" she yelled as in the background Raptor floated his way over to Hsien-ko only to be back-fisted by her.
"Hey guys," Anakaris announced, "while we're grieving in sorrow as well as trauma-dilation, why don't you try some of my meat picks?" he said holding a tray of meaty bites with toothpicks.
"Hmm, they're pretty good. I like jerked meat," Rikou said, "…um, Anakaris, where did you get the meat for this?"
"Meat for what now?" he said as he tried to snap Raptor back into reality and eat some of his meat.
"Well guys, tonight definitely was a night to remember," Lilith said.
"We'd better get going," Sabretooth said, getting up, "see ya later Felicia."
"Alright. Be sure to bring Servbot if you can," she said.
"I'll make note of that. Hey Blackheart, time to go."
"Huh? Oh, okay," he said, getting up, "Morrigan, I'll be back for you later, bitch."
"Be seein' ya," she said as she took a bite out of the meat pick.
FYI Demitri was talking to Shuma at the time.
After the house was rebuilt and the bulldozers were repaired, everyone had returned to their normal lives. Bishamon, Pyron and Dee, who had no moral importance to the story, tried moving back into the house with the other Darkstalkers. Unfortunately, the house was rebuilt a little smaller than before so there was even less room. Felicia and Lilith had to move out and Bishamon decided to go work at a sushi shop or something. Felicia didn't mind moving out as she already knew where to go to coughSabretoothcough but Lilith still had trouble deciding where to live. Oh, and they decided who would move out by rock, paper, scissors. It's still a mystery as to how fins were omitted into the game.
"So, Lilith, where you gonna live?" Morrigan asked as she watched her sister pack up.
"Can't believe I lost to a fish," Lilith mumbled.
"You know, I heard Jedah's house is a 2-bedroom house."
Lilith turned around to eye her sister confusingly.
"Wait, you're not insisting I…"
"Oh, come on. Don't tell me you to did something crazy together n your date, did you?"
Lilith got angry and threw a book at her yelling.
"IT'S NOT A DATE!"
And so ends the date that wasn't. I'd like to thank all of my readers for having stood by me for so long (though in my mind I'd rather see them as monkeys). I'd also like to thank my hands for typing for long durations of time as well as my mentality for kicking me until I started this chapter. God, why don't I thank myself while I'm at it? I'd also like to thank Baron Hausenpheffer who gave me the best reviews of anyone. Though he hasn't reviewed in a while. Sure hope this changes that.
Thank you all once again.