The sweetest kiss


Warnings/notes: Kaiba/Joey, ooc, weird, shortie.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

written at 12th december 2004, by Misura


Kaiba, Joey decides, isn't a very good kisser. Not at all.

If his kisses leave Joey out of breath ('panting', as Kaiba sneers, adding that he even -sounds- like a dog, before Joey shuts him up by giving his tongue something else to do than wag insults at him), that's just because Kaiba has no sense of timing whatsoever. He simply doesn't know when to stop and knock it off already, be it in a verbal sparring bout or a kiss.

Kaiba also has big lungs, of course, that allow him to go without air far longer than normal people. (Kaiba's a windbag; everybody knows that. Joey just never thought it'd ever prove such an annoyance when he'd kiss the guy, though he could have known Kaiba'd find a way to pester him even when Joey is forcing him to refrain from speaking.)

When Kaiba kisses him, Joey's arms tend to sneak around Kaiba. Not, however, because Joey holds any special affection for Kaiba, since that's pure rubbish; it's common knowledge that Joey -hates- Kaiba, and will probably do so until the day he dies.

It's just that Kaiba's a pushy kind of person. If there's no wall behind Joey's back, Kaiba pressing his body against him will likely push him over. And Joey's just not the type of guy who'll stand for anyone pushing him over, least of all some rich, snobbish CEO.

Thus, to keep his balance, to prevent Kaiba from making him fall, Joey puts his arms around him in something that might look like an embrace, but most definitely isn't. Hugs are to be shared between people who like each other, such as Anzu and Yugi.

On occasion -well, more often than not, actually- Joey gets this strange, fluttery feeling in his stomach, either during a kiss or right before it. This, he blames on Kaiba's bad sense of timing again.

For some reason, Kaiba never appears to get hungry, the way normal humans do. Lunch-breaks seem to be there merely for him to amuse himself, either by goading Yugi into another duel (unless Anzu has already whisked her boyfriend away to some secret location) or by bugging those people who -are- in need of regular nutrition, like Joey.

Thus, at exactly the moment when Joey's about to faint with hunger after four hours of boring classes, Kaiba snatches his lunch away and demands him to focus on something else instead. Normally, Joey'd have been able to count on Yugi and Anzu to distract Kaiba for at least ten seconds -long enough for him to gobble down at least half his food- but with them having snuck off, and Honda too busy making eyes at Otogi, while pretending it's actually one of the cheergirls he's interested in, Joey's left on his own.

Probably, one of these days, he's going to empty his tray of food over Kaiba's head, just for having no consideration at all for Joey's needs. Not on a Monday, of course, since they usually have chocolate-mousse for dessert then, and not on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday, since the main-dish is really good on those days, and not on a Friday either, since he might earn a detention for Saturday-afternoon then, and detentions on Saturday-afternoons suck big time. But on some other day, he'll show Kaiba that nobody interferes with his meals unpunished.

Not that Joey needs any specific reason to be pissed off at Kaiba. The man is utterly unsufferable; he mocks and taunts Joey in everything he does, be it by solving some maths-problem in under three minutes, while Joey has struggled with it for three hours, before throwing his books at the wall and calling Anzu for help, or by walking into the class-room without even looking in Joey's direction.

It's Kaiba's special talent, this endless ability to make Joey want to grab his shoulders and slam him against the wall to yell at him. Not that Joey really thinks that to do such a thing would change anything, or make Kaiba leave him alone and stop ignoring him all the time, but it might relieve his own frustrations a little.

Why Kaiba, of all people, would have developed and perfectioned this odd gift, isn't quite clear to Joey. You'd think that a guy like Kaiba would rather work on his programming-skills or even his non-existent social ones; those, at least, might come in handy one day.

But no, Kaiba has to be stubborn and impractical. He'd rather be capable of driving Joey completely insane with his mere nearness than of carrying a normal conversation. Or of kissing Joey like the two of them are actually in love, like they don't mean it when they assure each other how utterly and deeply their mutual dislike is.

If he looks at it that way, Joey has to conclude that Kaiba not being that great a kisser is actually a good thing. He'd almost begin to like Kaiba for it ...