Cold

Standard Disclaimers Apply

A/N: I don't know if any of my reviewers from the Yuu Yuu Hakusho section will be reading this, but I'll say this anyway. Holder of the Orb and A Different Perspective haven't been deleted simply because I want them continued. I'm also aware that my Thanksgiving Bitch Rant of 2005 is really contradictory and hypocritical. I will also post no more fiction unless one si already completed, so as to not let anyone down.

So, without further ado, I give you the Ed-angst……

Cold

Sometimes at night, I feel like I can feel the warmth from your body.
I know that I can't.
It makes my joints ache, at my shoulder and knee, right where the flesh meets the metal.
But that isn't what saps away my warmth at night.

Sometimes, I wish that these things had never happened, that I hadn't ever been so selfish.
But it's already too late...
It's cold, isn't it Alphonse?
It's really cold.

If there was one thing I could do, I'd give you yourself back.
This is all my fault isn't it?
If I hadn't suggested it...
If I hadn't urged you on...
If I hadn't been so stupid...
You would've been all right.

You're yelling at me now, banging on the bars in the cage I transmuted around you.
The circle is perfect.
Only the best for you, my dear little brother.
Please don't hate me, you know I'm only doing this for you.
My automail is throbbing now...the pain is their, so much that it feels...
...Humane...

"Nii-san! Don't do it! We were supposed to go back to what we were together!"

There's no turning back. I should pay for it all.
The last configuration. Al's screaming now.

"Don't worry Aru. Everything's going to be alright."

The humming in the nerve wires has gotten even stronger.
The transmutation circles I've drawn on myself are glowing now, on Al too.
The Philosopher's stone is sittign right in the middle there, a perfect red orb.
It'll bring Al back.

That day...I couldn't save him.
But I'll make him better now.

"NII-SAN! NOOO! STOP IT! STOP IT!"

"It'll be all alright Aru, don't worry..."

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! STOP IT!"

The room's filled with light. My automail hurts a lot.
It's all my fault. Mother should've stayed dead.
If it wasn't for me, Lieutenant Ross wouldn't have been evicted.
If it wasn't for me, Lior wouldn't be in ruins now.
If it wasn't for me, the homonoculi wouldn't have existed.
If it wasn't for me, Al would be living peacefully with Winry and Auntie Pinako and Sensei.

In fact, he'll forget about me soon. And that's all okay.
Everything's going to be all right.

The Gate opens.
Bring Alphonse back...
...take me...

He's shrieking now, shrieking, yelling, screaming, fighting...
Silly otouto. You should know by now you can't fight the Gate.
"No! Nii-san..please...don't do this..."

You sound so horrid Alphonse. Lighten up.

"Don't worry, you'll be alive again soon. This was my duty. Don't worry. Everything's going to be all right."

The hands are grabbing, patting my face, my chest, the metal...
I'm being pulled in, but all I do is smile at my brother.
The Gate closes on your last, final scream.

It isn't your armor that saps away the warmth at night Alphonse.
You silly little idiot.
It's me, and the sin that I've become.

...Alphonse? Al?

It's cold...

It's really cold...

It's so, very cold...