Author's Note: I've been writing and rewriting this for as long as I can remember, but it's finally made its way up here! Enjoy, peoples! It circles around a bit, but i'm still proud of it! Mwahahahaha! (btw, this will not be continued!)
Disclaimer: Once I had a dream that i owned Kingdom Hearts. Sadly, it ended with the world exploding.
"text" ---- spoken
"text" ---- flashback
ONExSHOT: "No matter where you go…"
"I'll come back to you, I promise!"
A promise. A stupid, childish promise that would never be fulfilled.
Sora leant back on the roof of the accessory shop, put his arms behind his head and breathed deeply. It had been a long day, and his limbs ached from fighting Heartless non-stop. He winced slightly as his wounded shoulder came into contact with the sharp, cold roof tiles. Shifting his arm, he looked sadly up at the thousands and thousands of stars above him and vaguely wondered which one was his beloved island home. He had no idea how long they'd been trekking through space, and he did not even particularly care anymore. He knew only that it was his job, as the Keyblade master, his curse.
Sora still searched in vain for the Destiny Islands during their journeys through worlds, looked unsuccessfully for some clue to where it was in this enormous universe, but after three years, he still had had no luck whatsoever, and recently had given up all hope. He saw no point in his life anymore. After all, what was left in it worth living for?
But he could not just give up. He had a destiny, an accursed destiny that he had had no choice in. Even the name of his weapon, Keyblade, made him clench his fists in anger, guilt, regret. Why him? Why had he been chosen to roam the stars, fighting the darkness and acting as a hero, when he was nothing more than a boy, an unlucky, talentless boy chosen by fate and thrust into this hateful life, so different from the one he'd wanted to live? Even now when he reflected back on his memories from that island, they seemed not from his life but someone else's, or perhaps a dream, conjured up by his sleepless mind on the few nights he managed to snatch a few hours of rest.
He pulled one of his many key chains from his pocket, one that was bright yellow and star-shaped. This one was particularly important, given to him by someone very special to him. Someone he missed a great deal. So much that his heart seemed to waver when he thought of her, mixed with his feelings of guilt and regret. There had been so much regret in his short life. He ground his teeth together to hold back the tears threatening to well up in his sky-blue eyes, and asked himself the same question again. 'Why me?'
"Don't ever forget; wherever you go, I'm always with you."
Sora let out a grunt of annoyance.
'Damn straight…' he thought angrily.
He couldn't stop thinking about her.
Sora sank into his memories, staring at the keychain for a long moment, thinking. By the time he slipped back into reality, despite his best efforts, a tiny droplet had found its way down his cheek. He angrily wiped it away, and shouted silently at himself. 'What are you doing worrying about it now?' he asked himself, 'There's nothing you can do, it's over! You can't change what happened…'
Leaning back on the roof again and stretching out his legs, Sora again recalled his happy memories that that had so often chased him into his nightmares. The Secret Place, the cove, the boats, the paopu tree… the island really had been a paradise. He still wondered how he could have ever wanted to leave that haven, where everything he'd ever needed was right there; his family, friends… two friends in particular. But they were gone now, lost. He'd given up hope of ever seeing them again.
Sora recalled the girl. She'd been so beautiful. He'd loved her, even back then, so many years ago, loved her personality, the way he toyed with him, called him names (although he knew she'd never meant any of it) and the smile she showed just for him, as he did for her. His times with her were the easiest to remember. Yet they were also the most painful.
'Dammit!' Sora slammed his fist into the roof tiles, and held his head in his hands. Regret… that guilt-filled regret. It filled him, and it hurt. This time he didn't even bother to try and stop the tears. They flowed down his cheeks, dripped onto the tiles, clouded his eyes so he couldn't even see the star shape held in his hand.
"…Sora…don't ever change."
He had changed. He knew it. He was no longer the happy-go-lucky, naïve little boy he had been at fourteen. He did not smile anymore. He did not laugh. He only sat in silence and thought, motionless and regretful for days on end so that Donald and Goofy murmured concernedly behind his back. When they had to fight Heartless, Sora did it skilfully and quickly, all the time his eyes glazed over with sadness. Out loud, he blamed it on the Heartless, because they had caused all the darkness, but inside himself, he knew it was his fault. All his fault.
Sora's thoughts drifted back to memories of the crimson-haired girl, and a small smile flickered across his face, in spite of the pain. She could always read his thoughts, his feelings, perfectly. She loved to mess with him, call him a lazy bum, something that she never shared with anyone else. It was just her and Sora. The other boy had always been different, curious. It was him who had suggested they build a raft to get off their 'island prison'. Sora and she had agreed in the thought that it was something new and exciting to do, never thinking what their parents would have said if they found out they were planning to sail out into the unknown.
Sora shook his head in disbelief. How could they have thought they would survive, out in the rough sea, with only a few small provisions that would have been lucky to last a day? How could they have thought that a flimsy raft would stay afloat in raging storms? He supposed it was a good thing that something had stopped them from setting off.
'But at least that way we'd have still been together…'
Sora shivered, suddenly noticing how cold it was. It must be getting late…
Yet he couldn't bring himself to get down off the roof and walk into the room below, where he would only get curious, sympathetic looks from Cid, Donald and Goofy; as though he was some disturbed anti-social teenager.
'Hmph. Maybe I am a disturbed, anti-social teenager.' Sora thought wearily.
But didn't he have his reasons? After all, he'd lost his best friend, the person who meant so very much to him, he'd lost her. He would never see her again.
'All my fault…'
He shook his head at himself, and then shivered again. He sighed. He would really love to sleep up here… away from the stares and awkward questions… if only he had a blanket of some sort…
As if in answer to his prayers, a battered old woven blanket tumbled onto his head.
"What'cha doing up here?" asked a concerned voice.
"Go away, Donald…" Sora muttered, and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders.
The white duck clattered loudly over the loose tiles to Sora, who eyed him warily.
After a moment of silence, where Donald just looked sadly at him, Sora frowned and turned away.
'Don't look at me like that,' he said quietly.
"Well… are you coming down? Cid got us a room at the hotel, and it's getting late-"
"No." Sora said firmly, rolling over and pulling the sheet tighter around him.
Donald shook his head worriedly, but clambered obligingly over to the edge of the roof and jumped down and through the wooden doors of the shop.
Sora closed his eyes and listened to the murmur of hushed voices below him.
A few moments later, he heard the heavy doors swing open and three loud pairs of feet walk out. He kept his eyes closed; not wanting to see the worried glances sent his way. The pairs of feet paused for a moment outside the door, then strolled quietly around the shop and up the walkway; until the distinct slam of the double doors reached Sora's ears.
Sora tossed and turned for a few hours, not sleeping, and not because of the chilling cold, but for the cold rock in his chest that beat feverishly with every passing second. He lay with his eyes open, staring across the street, memories whirring through his head at top speed. He glanced up at the stars again. There were so many… no wonder he hadn't been able to find her in time.
But was it really Donald's fault? Was it the Heartless' fault? Or did Sora just not want to face the hard, cruel truth, that he was responsible?
A streetlamp outside the shop flashed out unexpectedly, and Sora jumped. He breathed out slowly, and found that his breath came out a mist in front of him. Rubbing his hands together, he made up his mind quickly as a strong, deathly cold wind whipped across the rooftops.
Sora jumped off the side off the roof, landing quietly on the ground. He glanced around for signs of life, and, finding none, crept silently into the warmth of the accessory shop.
Settling himself against the wall next to the burning fire, he stared into the flames for a moment, finding them strangely hypnotising, and in no time at all his eyes were slowly, slowly closing. Sora's tired head lolled forward onto his chest, and he sank into an uneasy sleep, haunted with cruel nightmares and illusions of blissful ignorance…
Sora jerked from his sleep. Donald stood there, the same concerned look on his face that'd been there six hours ago.
"Dammit, Donald, can't you just leave me alone!" Sora yelled angrily, painful memories flashing in his head, making him shudder with anguish as he leant on the brick wall.
Donald watched him, expressionless, and after a moment spoke the words that Sora himself had whispered to himself these past months, trying to believe, trying to convince himself why he would never see her again.
"She's dead, Sora. She's gone, and you can't bring her back."
A/N: >sniffs> Oh, there's an angsty fic! Make what you want of the ending, but the idea came from Evanescence's song, Immortal. If you liked this, please review, and check out my other story, pleeeeeeeeease? I'll give you a cookie :)