Rules of Marauding

(maybe we shoulda covered these first?)

I think this goes without saying since this is but because I don't want to be sued I must say thisI don't own the characters in this story unless they have never been mentioned in the series (because obviously I made them up for a more interesting world.) The plot, though, is mine. JKR can have the rest. Now I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter One: Lord Whosiwhat?


The bellow echoed throughout number 12 Grimmauld Place. Sirius groaned as he slammed his quill down on top of his essay splattering ink all over the almost finished product. He glared at the mess he'd just created and uttered a series of words he shouldn't have bothered saying.

"What!" he yelled back.

"Don't you dare say 'what' to me in that tone, Sirius Orion Black!" He envisioned his mother seething at the bottom of the stairwell, "Now, you get your arse down here!"

He nodded slightly to himself before he stored his essay under his bed and walked out into the hallway and down the stairs, past the house elf heads, to meet his fate. He moaned slightly when he found his mother had vacated from her yelling post. Then he walked to the kitchen.

When he stepped inside his eyes first settled on his mother, who was sitting regally across from his cousin Bellatrix. He attempted to smile politely at her but found it to be nearly impossible, so he settled his gaze entirely on his mother. The look in her eyes was livid, to say the least, and when it was coupled with the nails on her hands (which appeared to be more like claws in most instances) he felt less than safe around her.

"Explain yourself."

Sirius didn't bother to hide his confusion, only to earn another "warning" glance from his mother. Yet he still chose to clarify, "Er, what am I explaining?"

His mother's gray eyes sparked instantly with impatience.

"Your brother," was all she said.

Sirius looked down the table a bit further to see Regulus sitting in a chair with an excess of fur around his face. He tried his best not to laugh. This had turned out better than he'd expected it to. Just as he was beginning to think of all the other places hair could have cropped up, his mother interrupted, "Wipe that smirk off your face!"

Sirius let his face go stern before he looked back at his mother, "Explain yourself, now."

"It was just a joke. The spell that was in the Zonko's product will wear off in a few hours. It's no big deal mother." He looked her strait in the face, "Honestly, he'll be back to being your 'perfect son' before-"

"That's quite enough from you!"

"You told me to explain-"

"I want no more of your cheek!" She then pointed her want at him and he grew quiet immediately, "Now sit down!"

Sirius quickly did as he was told and bit his tongue (quite literally) to keep himself from yelling at his cousin to wipe the cheeky grin off of her face. He noticed then that Regulus was crying over his hairy demeanor and Sirius only stared at him without an ounce of remorse. Bellatrix must have noticed his composure for she chose then to speak, "Really, my dear aunt, you shouldn't be too hard on yourself, some children are just born bad."

Before he knew what he was doing he stood up from his chair, "I'm not 'bad!' Who gave you the right to say that about me? You don't know me! No one in this bloody family doe-"

His voice cut out and he was forced back into his chair. He looked over at his mother only to see her with her wand out and pointing at him. Her face was twisted in anger, making what most grown men would consider a woman with beautiful features look nothing less than haggish.

"Did I say you could speak, my dearest son?"

Sirius would have groaned an answer just then- that is if he could have made any noise at all. So he settled with glaring at the other members in the room only to meet the same contemptuous superior glance from his aunt and the exact same tearful sorrow from his brother. He closed his eyes before he turned his attention back to his mother, "That's what I thought."

She turned her attention back to Bellatrix, "Honestly, what did I do to deserve a disgrace like this as a son? Nothing! I've been a loving mother. A caring mother. And what do I get in return? A muggle lover! A boy that actually cares about those lower than him!" She rounded on Sirius, "Oh yes, your bother has told me all about your little friends at school. As if you and that Potter brat wasn't bad enough already! It's disgraceful to have birthed such a horrible taint on the Black's family name."

"Oh, come now don't be so hard on yourself. The boy is just bad. You should be happy that at least one of your boys has turned out right."

His mother seemed to pause for a moment to think about Bella's words. She then looked over at Regulus, "I suppose you are right."

She then turned quickly on Sirius, "You sir, are grounded! You cannot and will not leave the house for the rest of the summer. You will receive no owls from your little friends, and you will not be allowed to send any. Flooing will also be off limits! That should give you plenty of time to contemplate what you have done. Is that clear?"

Crystal, Sirius thought as he felt his face contort in pain at the idea of being under house arrest for a second summer in a row. What had he done to deserve this fate… well, besides turning his brother into were-boy for the remainder of the evening.

"I said: no cheek."

He looked at his mother with nothing short of fury. Occlumency! Why did she have to know that? Why?

Again, he could feel his cousin smirking at him and he resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at her, only out of fear that it would get hexed off. His mother would certainly view that as a perk. Torture disguised as a punishment and she'd never have to hear him talk again. Oh yes, it would be perfect for her.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, get out of here!" Sirius blinked at her a bit, "You can get up, dear, now go to your room!"

Sirius stood up and glared at his crying brother, turned around and exited the kitchen before he gave his mother, yet another, excuse to curse him. He sighed deeply after he shut the door behind him only to hear his mother (obviously talking to Bellatrix), "Now do continue telling me what you've been up to these past few months. It's incredibly interesi-"

He walked away from the kitchen before he could hear the rest, and wandered down the hall to the drawing room. He kicked the door to the room open and growled out, "When will he grow out of being such a bloody crybaby!" he growled out (slightly happy to see that he could talk) and walked inside.

Once inside he collapsed onto the chair in disgust. He grumbled a bit more to himself before he realized that he wasn't alone. He looked up ready to yell at a house elf before his eyes rested on his cousin Andromeda. Despite his misery he couldn't help but smile at her, "What are you doing here?"

Andromeda feigned hurt before she answered, "Bella decided to take me. Or rather she had to. That's what I get for playing nice, and listening to Narcissa," she made a gagging gesture and laughed softly to herself.

"And how is that playing nice?"

"Visiting. Mum (your aunt), Narcissa, your father… everyone keeps saying I need to keep in touch with them. I still don't completely know why I do, though. I mean, if they ever find out that I have a crush on a muggle-born I'd be disowned in a heartbeat."

"A muggle-born? No kidding?"

He watched in stunned amazement as his cousin blushed, "Well, tell me, it's not like I'm gonna rat you out."


"Come on Andie, who is it? Do I know him?"

"No, you don't. And it's going to stay that way, you little punk." She reached out her hand and pushed his head slightly. He merely turned back to her and produced his best pouty face. "No, Sirius," he watched as her brow furrowed and she looked towards the door before she cussed slightly under her breath and leaned in. "Okay, his name's Ted Tonks, and if you say one word to anyone I'll make your life even more miserable than it is already." Then she began to smirk, "Speaking of which, what are you in for this time around?"

"You heard about that already?"

"I was in the room when Regulus came in crying. It didn't take much to figure out that you'd done it."

"Thanks… and if you must know, I have been grounded for the rest of the summer. No owls and no flooing. I'm trapped."

"That's never stopped you before."

"Yeah well, I'm not thinking I'll have the chance to run away this year. And on top of that Remus has company already, and James is in Spain, I think… I dunno, he's hard to keep track of."

Andromeda couldn't help but laugh at her younger cousin. When he glared at her she only cooed at him, "I feel so sorry for you, dear cousin."

"You're such a lousy liar," he sat in silence for a moment before his brain switched gears, "Hey, you wouldn't happen to know what Bella's been up to, would you?"

Andromeda's face seemed to loose color and he noticed instantly that she obviously didn't want to answer his question, "You do know, don't you?"

She finally looked up at that question, "Why do you want to know?"

"I heard my mother talking about it… and if she's so interested I think I should know. It isn't good is it?"

Andromeda nodded slightly and stared into the fire that was before them. Sirius had barely noticed that it was stoked before she'd called attention to it. He watched her face as she seemed to mull over whether she should tell him. He was almost positive that she was contemplating whether or not he was old enough to hear it. Sometimes he forgot that she was twenty-three a good ten years his senior.

Finally, she leaned back in her chair and heaved a huge sigh before she met his eyes, "You're right when you say that the news isn't good. And I'm only telling you because I'd rather you hear it from me first than your mum or worst the bloody Prophet because Merlin knows they never write the full truth in that thing. But that's beside the point, Sirius, because this really is bad."

"Just spit it out already, please, I don't need a speech just the truth."

She smiled slightly, always impressed with his spunk. That was probably why he was her favorite, "Fine, no speeches." She jabbed him in the side playfully, "It's bad…" He stared at her ready to say something if she continued, "I'm sure you've heard about the random murders that occurred last year." Sirius nodded, "I figured as much, you are the nosiest little shit I've ever met."

"It was James' ide-"

"And I figured that much as well. Anyway, you said to stick to the truth; no speeches. I'm going to assume that means no bloody lectures as well." She winked at him before she continued, "It's a cult, well maybe not, but it's the best word I have to describe them. They call themselves 'Death Eaters.' Bella's a part of it. So is her husband, and his brother… and I think she recruited Narcissa and her new husband as well, which really isn't a surprise."

"And now she's trying to get Mum?"

"I don't think so. Odds are she'll expect you two to join up since your parents are too dated. And she'll likely say as much."

"She won't expect me to join."

"That's probably true… it'd be a true shocker if you actually did," she smiled at him.

He went quiet and smirked slightly at her comment before his brain flew back to what they were originally talking about, "If there's a cult, who's in charge?"

Andromeda shrugged slightly, "I don't know very much about that, just that Bella calls him Lord Voldemort, or more often My Lord, and apparently he-"

"Lord Whosiwhat?"

She could not hide her shock at how fast Sirius got sidetracked, "Lord Voldemort. That's what Bella calls him, so I assume that's how he expects to be addressed-"

"I need to tell James," Sirius stood up and walked towards the door but stopped as soon as he placed one foot through the doorframe. He groaned, "I can't owl." Then he turned around and once again sank into his seat.

"Never mind James. Do you want to hear the rest of what I know or not?"

Sirius, feeling rather disappointed gestured with his hand for her to go on, "Thank you. Now apparently he's been the one behind all of the attacks. He has it in for muggles and muggle-borns alike, he wants to bring a new order to our world. And people like the ones in our pathetic excuse for a family are all for it."

Sirius just stared at the fire. Andromeda was right; this was bad. He looked at her, "So what do we do?"

Andromeda shrugged, "I don't think we can do anything yet, it's not exactly like this bloke has come completely out, though, I'm sure it'll only be a matter of time now. Especially, now that he does have a fine lot of followers," she looked at his face and smiled slightly knowing exactly what was going through his head. "My god, Sirius, I'll send your letter to James or any of your other little mates. Don't look so glum. "


She rolled her eyes at him, "You can be so bloody daft sometimes, of course I'll do it, I like you too much, kid."

"But how'll I get a reply?" he stated with a smirk.

"I'll tell them to send it to me and then bring them to you. I have to visit more, remember," she winked at him and smiled.

"Right," he said with a smile.

"Now, I think you should head upstairs to your room, however horrific that may be, before your mum figures out that you're speaking with me. Because I'm certain that she's far too upset with you to even consider letting you speak with someone else at the moment, and I don't want you in anymore trouble, for the reason that you tend to just get mopey. And that, Siri, is just unbearably annoying."

"Ha ha, aren't you funny."

"I know I am. Now go," Sirius reluctantly stood up and groaned a bit as he did so, which earned him a jab in the side with her foot. He glanced at her with a smirk before he started out the door.

"Sirius," he turned around having an odd sense of déjà vu, "please, don't tell anyone what I told you."

He smiled widely, "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone about your beloved Teddy."

She glared at him and grumbled, "I didn't mean him."

"Sure, you didn't," he stated bluntly as he walked out the door, knowing in the sincerest sense that she'd stated the truth.