Disclaimer: I do not own Shaman King

CHAPTER ONE – The Auction

"WHAT!"

All the birds within a hundred mile radius of the Asakura house flew and a few of the closer ones fell down dead. Several passers-by covered their ears and ran away, and the people further away gazed curiously in the direction of the house as the blood-curdling scream came from the area.

"Calm down, Ren, old buddy, old pal, you could wake the dead!" Horo Horo attempted with the enraged boy.

"I WILL NOT 'CALM DOWN!' HOW DARE YOU! I HAVE A FINE LOVE LIFE, AND YOU DIDN'T NEED TO GO SNOOPING AROUND BEHIND MY BACK!" the short-tempered Chinese shaman yelled.

"Ha! That's funny! You don't have a love life, Ren. I just gave you a push in the right direction. Besides, Jun helped! She forged your signature! And you're not alone, I'm signed up, and so is Lyserg!" he laughed.

"WHAT!" both Ren and Lyserg yelled together, causing the deaths of several more poor, unfortunate birds.

"YOU SIGNED ME UP FOR A BACHELOR AUCTION! HOW DARE YOU MESS IN MY PERSONAL LIFE!" Lyserg yelled at Horo at the same time Ren turned to Jun and shouted, "YOU HELPED HIM SIGN ME UP FOR A BACHELOR AUCTION! HOW COULD YOU!"

"Heh, heh, I'm gonna go now..." Jun ran off before Ren could kill her. Both turned to Horo with evil smiles on their faces.

"Uh, guys? Please don't look at me like that, it scares me. Hee, what are you gonna do with that? Put the cattle prods down... AUGH!" were the last sounds anyone heard before a series of high-pitched squeals and screams of terror floated out of the garage.

That night, all three of the teens made their way into the party room where the auction was to take place. Ren was dressed in fancy-looking so-called 'formal' attire. It was all black with gold trim, bringing out the sharpness of his tiger-like eyes.

Lyserg wore a loose green shirt and loose black pants, making him look more like a leprechaun than usual.

Horo was dressed in baggy black pants and a black tank top, all with light blue lining that brought out how his hair was black on the bottom and blue on top and the blueness of his eyes.

When they'd gotten their numbers, they went back stage and were shocked to see Yoh gloomily sitting with the number 5 in his hand. "Uh, Yoh, last time I checked, you were practically a married man." Horo pointed out.

"Anna signed me up against my will to show off to the girls who bid on me that I'm hers because she noticed how many of them make passes at me and she wants to teach them a lesson." he told them with a dejected sigh. Just then, Ryu stepped up to them.

"Oh, are you boys here to find your Shaman Queens, too?" he asked them.

"No, of course not. Anna signed him up, Pilica signed Horo up, and he thought he'd drag us down with him if he had to go so he got my sister's help and signed me and Lyserg up, too. We were perfectly happy with our romance lives before this." Ren glared pointedly at the ice shaman, who tried to squeeze himself inhumanly into the corner.

"Number 1, please come out number 1." came a voice on a speaker system they hadn't noticed. The defeated Chinese teen sighed and stepped out when he looked down and saw his number was 1. The others piled around the side of the stage excitedly to watch.

"What am I bid for this strapping young Chinese man?" the auctioneer boomed into the microphone. Ren forced himself to put on a weak smile which looked a lot more like a scowl. Realizing this, he tried harder, screwing up his face until the crowd of girls burst into laughter. At which point he gave up and gave them his fiercest glare, which only succeeded in making them laugh harder, many falling to the floor in fits of giggles.

Finally, they recomposed themselves and the bidding began.

"10!"

"30!"

"50!"

"100!"

"170!"

"300!"

A silence overtook them and they all waited, until one final cry rang out, "10000!"

"Sold!" came the answer, and Ren stalked off the stage.

"Number 2, please come out, number 2!" it boomed, and Lyserg inched his way out to the middle, and proceeded to stare at his shoes.

"And what am I bid for this sweet British boy?" it asked the crowd, who just went, "Awwwww, he's so cute!" in response.

Finally, the bidding began. "5!"

"40!"

"70!"

"400!"

The audience stayed silent until a faint, "Um, 550..." was whispered and the auctioneer called Sold! Lyserg blushed and practically ran off the stage.

"Number 3!" Ryu rushed out excitedly.

"Umm... what am I bid for this... umm... guy?" he asked the silent audience.

Crickets chirped in the background until a fat lady said, "1! He's gonna be cooking for me tonight!"

"Sold!" was the reply, and Ryu dragged himself off in tears.

"Number 4!" Yoh droopily plopped out on stage.

"Now, what am I bid for this handsome young Japanese boy?"

"100!" Anna called.

"500!"

"900!" Anna called.

"1000!" someone was continuously bidding, and it wasn't Anna.

"1100!" Anna yelled impatiently, and a little bit peeved that someone dared to defy her into spending so much money.

"1500!" the voice was awfully familiar.

"1800!" now Anna wasn't just peeved, she was pissed.

"50000!" knowing she couldn't top that, she glared over at... Hao Asakura! He smirked his smirk that only he can smirk and waved in a way that he knew wouldn't fail to annoy her. Yoh grew ten shades paler when he looked on the face of his one-night captor and had to be dragged off the stage when he fainted.

"Number 5!" Horo Horo walked on and smiled cheerfully, waving at his adoring fans.

"What am I bid for this nice Ainu boy?"

"90!"

"200!"

"500!"

"5000!"

"Sold!" Horo looked in horrifying terror at his slave driver for the night. Anna Kyouyama, and he could just guess what she'd have him do...