Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor am I profiting from this fanfiction in any way.
Warnings: Yaoi/Shonen-Ai (boy X boy love), mention of rape, murder, attempted suicide, language.
A/N: This will be Sasu/Naru. I know, overused pairing that some people are sick of seeing, but that too bad. Don't like, don't read. I'm working on other stories with more unusual pairings but this needed to be written first.
Perpetual Darkness Ch. 1
As I gaze at my reflection, into my haunted blue eyes I can't help but hate what I see. I see HIM when I look at myself; see his blood flow from my hands, and his sapphire eyes, opened wide in horror and what I've done to him. I hate that I look so much like the man I hate so fully. Even now that he's dead, he still haunts me. Yes I hate to look at myself, so much that I just want to tear into my flesh, and mutilate my features until I can no longer seen him in me.
I forcefully tear my gaze away from the cursed mirror and reach into my back pocket pulling out my black face mask. This mask has been my only way to hang onto the last bit of my sanity ever since I got out of the institution. It hides my features from everyone, and most importantly from me. The mask covers me from the nose down, I hate that I can't hide my eyes that are so much like his, but at least I can cover the rest.
As I secure the ties in the back to keep my cover in place, I glance back to my mirror and feel infinitely better at what I see. I pull my long blonde hair from the high ponytail I had placed it in so that it would stay out of my way. It fell softly along my shoulders, slightly tangled. I grabbed my comb and quickly removed the knots before grabbing my eyeliner and lightly lining my eyes with in black. I can't remember why I had taken a liking to eyeliner, perhaps it was because it matched my beloved mask, well that and it gave me more of a gothic look which I had really taken an interest in when I saw magazine with a band called Malice Mizer on the cover.
Oh how I was dreading this day, my first day as a sophomore at Konoha High. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. Surely every student and teacher had been warned about me. Everyone thinks of me as a monster, all because of my past, because of what I did and where I have been since I was eleven years old. I wonder if anyone from middle school will recognize me. Four years is a long time, but surely everyone saw my face in the papers and on the news. Everyone surely heard about that day, and no doubt would be afraid of me. No one could forget something so gruesome.
I was by no means popular in middle school, I didn't have friends. I wasn't hated per say, but I was disliked for being the most annoying student there. I was always trying to distract everyone from what they would see if they weren't too irritated to try looking. It scared me to think what would happen to any of my classmates if they found out what went on, I was afraid of what HE would do to them, and then to me if they found out. Everyday I forced myself to keep it all inside, never wanting to endanger others. Then came that fateful day, I couldn't take it anymore and I just snapped. The day I, Uzumaki Naruto became a murder at eleven years old.
I shake my head roughly to remove the horrible memories and I shrug my black jacket on and zip it up. A glance at the clock told me I had forty five minuets to get to school. I had to get there early to get my schedule and locker so I figured I may as well leave now. I slung my messenger back over my shoulder and walked out of my apartment, almost forgetting to lock the door on the way out. Thankfully I didn't, there's no telling what people would do to my place if they could get in.
The walk to the school was short, only about five minuets. When I arrived at the gate, I was shocked at the amount of students already on campus. But what surprised me even more, were the three officers from the institution standing there staring at me. As soon as I set foot on campus everyone stopped and stared as the officers swiftly walked to me and formed a circle around me. I heard the whispers begin between all of the students and knew that they knew who I was now. Dammit I just wanted to lay low and not be noticed! Why did these bastards have to show up? I didn't do anything wrong!
"Uzumaki we have been sent to make sure you got here. Can't have you running now can we." The officer, who's name was Roy if I remembered correctly was a short, stocky man with short black hair and cold amber eyes. He was one of the nicer officers at the institution, but he was still a prick in my view. Stupid bastard was always trying to make me feel like I was beneath him or something. I heaved a heavy sigh and glanced at him tiredly.
"Well I'm here, so you can go now. You've already drawn enough attention to me as it is." I moved to walk around him and head to the office to get settled when he roughly grabbed my shoulder and yelled in my ear.
"Don't you turn you back on me brat or I'll drag your ass right back into that little isolation cell." I quickly jerked away from him, my entire body shaking. Everyone around me took a step back and held their breath, obviously afraid I was going to go on a rampage or something. Stupid people know nothing.
"Please don't touch me; you know it brings on panic attacks. Just let me get settled and get to class ok I'm not going to run away." Roy rolled his eyes at me and shooed me away with a final warning to behave or he'd be back for me. He was a real prick, but at least he wasn't as bad as the rest of the guards he'd had to deal with in that place.
I glanced towards the office and sighed, once again wishing I didn't have to go through with this. Hopefully it wouldn't be too horrible.