Anime and Manga spoilers abound, I imagine. I haven't seen all of the anime, but I think I got the intentions of the Homunculi down pretty well.
So there they were.
Fate had brought them together, for whatever reason, and now the two opposing forces had met.
But what would happen?
The end of the world that we perceive?
Who knows? We can only watch and find out…
In a large room, plainly decorated, two groups of people stand, staring in absolute astonishment at each other.
On one side, there lies the Manganites: The Homunculi, The Elric Brothers, Winry, Scar, Ling, Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, and The shadowy Father.
On the other side, the Animetors- The Homunculi, The Elric Brothers, Winry, Scar, Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Hohenheim, and Dante.
Through time and space they have been brought to settle one question.
Is the manga or the anime better?
Well, let's see what happens…
Manga-Greed snorted suddenly as he looked upon his mirror group.
"What a coupla' pussies…" he muttered, eyeing particularly the woman, Anime-Sloth, and the little kid, Anime-Wrath.
His opposing force, Anime-Greed, stepped up to the plate to defend his group, even if they didn't really deserve it; he said, "Tch! Pussies? Why don't you come over here and say that, dumbass? Least we have a chick, you guys have a total sausage-fest over there!"
Manga-Greed glowered, but their little exchange prompted the other characters to go and meet themselves, the tension broken and their curiosity peaked.
Manga-Lust observed her counterpart with interest, noting the slight darkness of her skin.
"My," she said, "have you been working on your tan? I didn't think we Homunculi could get them."
Anime-Lust chuckled lightly, "We can't, unfortunately. I was modeled after an Ishbalan woman, so it sort of has always been there."
Manga-Lust looked puzzled.
"What do you mean, modeled? Don't tell me that Homunculus theory is different with you guys."
Anime-Lust nodded, "It would seem so. In our world Homunculi are created by fools who try to resurrect a human. We are powered by incomplete Philosopher's Stones inside our bodies," she tapped the Ouroboros symbol on her chest, "But…how are they created in your world?"
"By combining hundreds of dead souls into one body around a Philosopher's Stone, which we also use as the tools for our regeneration. My they seem to be quite different. How did Father create all of you if you are by products of human transmutation?" asked Manga-Lust, looking over at the shadowy Father who was currently talking with Dante and Hohenheim.
"Who is this Father? We simply came together so that we could find someone to create a true Philosopher's Stone, so that we might become human." Said Anime-Lust.
Manga-Lust looked appalled for a few seconds.
"Human! My god, you really do suck!"
Meanwhile, the two Gluttonys were staring at each other stupidly, their big, white eyes locked, their constantly salivating mouths open and ready.
At once, they both asked, "Lust, Can I eat him?"
The two Lusts stopped in their feud for a few seconds, staring down at their respective Gluttonys.
"I don't know Gluttony," they said simultaneously, "He might try to eat you back."
They blinked, before they went back to their staring contest.
A little ways away, Manga-Envy is speaking with Anime-Envy.
"My, you are fat." Said Anime-Envy, noticing the huge indentation Manga-Envy was making in the ground.
Manga-Envy's eyes grew slightly wider, and his face twisted with burning anger.
"How dare you! My transformations are perfect! And least I'm not some stupid queer made by that bumbling oaf" he pointed at Hohenheim, who was backing away slightly from Father, "and I'm almost certain that I'm much better looking then you!"
Anime-Envy just laughed, "You're still fat, though."
Manga-Envy, in a rage, then transformed into his true form, a hulking, many-legged monster with dozens of screaming faces trying to tear their way out of his form. His face was twisted into a maniacal grin, and he opened his mouth, before in a flash, biting down on Anime-Envy, gulping the screaming Homunculus down at once.
At the same time Manga-Envy was devouring Anime-Envy, Manga-Wrath was staring curiously at Anime-Wrath and Anime-Pride.
"So…"he said, looking between the two, "I assume that you" he pointed at Anime-Pride, "are Wrath, and that you" he pointed at Anime-Wrath, "are the serving boy, yes?"
Anime-Wrath looked enraged at the thought, and bellowed, "I'm Wrath! He's Pride! Okay?"
Manga-Wrath, or Fuhrer King Bradley, stared blankly at the two.
"This child is a Homunculus? Preposterous. And you are Pride, my that's strange, I would have thought we embodied Wrath much more than Pride." He said.
Anime-Pride nodded, "We do, for the most part. But I suppose I'm more prideful than I am wrathful. The child is useful, as well, seeing as how he can use Alchemy."
Manga-Wrath looked astonished, "He can? Amazing! But what about you? Do you age like me, or are you immortal like the others?"
Anime-Pride chuckled, "I do age, though I don't really know why. Do you know why you age?"
Manga-Wrath nodded, "Oh yes indeed. I was trained from my youth in all aspects of war, then I had the Philosopher's Stone injected into me, which transformed me into a Homunculus and gave me this eye," he said.
Anime-Pride looked thoughtful, "That makes sense, I suppose."
Anime-Pride then looked around, and spotted a shadowy figure in the back.
"Is that your Pride? He isn't much of a talker, is he?" he asked.
Manga-Wrath shook his head, "Not so much, he is quite powerful, however, and I respect him a great deal. He takes all matters of our Father directly into his hands."
Anime-Pride blinked, "Your Father? Oh, that's right, your Homunculus theory is different, so of course you had a father."
Manga-Wrath nodded, "Indeed."
They stared at each other a little longer, before each held out a watermelon.
"Care for a melon?"
Anime-Wrath sweat dropped and backed away. Weirdos… he thought.
A little ways a way, Anime-Sloth was staring up at the towering form of Manga-Sloth.
"Umm…it looks like you are…umm…do you work out?" she asked, not really sure what to say as she stared up at the monstrous form.
"Dig," he rumbled.
Anime-Sloth sweat dropped.
"That's great…what do you dig?" she asked.
"Dirt," the massive Homunculus answered.
Across the room, Anime-Ed and Manga-Ed are enjoying each other's company.
"You are so shorter than me! Look, you're a pipsqueak, a little bean, a-"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEAN THAT'S MICROSCOPIC AND SHORTER THAN A CENTIMETER!" roared Manga-Ed, attacking the other with his automail arm.
Manga-Winry and Anime-Winry, along with both Als watched worriedly.
"Big Brother…ermm…Big Brothers, you should stop fighting! These are guys are okay, really!" said Manga-Al.
Anime-Al nodded in agreement, "Yes, Big Brothers, they're just like us! Sure my counterpart is supposedly in danger in exploding due to the unstableness of his transmutation, and his body is sitting, emaciated, in the Gate, but he's still the same person!"
Manga-Al nodded, not sure if he had been insulted or simply described by his counterpart.
However, the Winrys, tired of the scuffle, came forward and slammed their (or what they thought were) respective Eds on the head with their wrenches.
"OW!" The two short, blonde alchemists cried, "What'd you do that for Winry!"
Both Winrys exchanged looks, "You were being difficult."
The two State Alchemists stood and glared at each other for a few more seconds, then Manga-Ed decided to speak.
"Okay…so what's different with your alchemy?"
Anime-Ed thought for a moment.
"Well, does the Gate exist in your world?" he asked.
Manga-Ed nodded, "Of course, with that awful Truth bastard at the end?"
Anime-Ed frowned for a few seconds. "Truth bastard? What do you mean?"
Manga-Ed glared at him, "You know, the bastard thing that stole our arm and leg? "God" or the "Truth" that lives inside at the Gate of Truth, and in exchange for Alchemical knowledge, took away both my arm and leg, and Al's body?"
Anime-Ed looked thoughtful, "Well, that little pipsqueak over there," he pointed to Anime-Wrath, "took our arm and leg, and Al's body was just recreated in the end, so it's all good."
Manga-Ed had ignored that last part, and was glaring at Anime-Wrath.
Both Al's and Anime-Ed sweat dropped.
Manga-Ed then looked over at Ling, who was sitting on the ground, depressed.
"What's wrong, Ling?" he asked, before he looked around, suddenly realizing that Ling was the only Ling there.
"I don't exist in that timeline…"he said, looking miserable.
Anime-Winry and Manga-Winry were engaged in girl-talk.
"So be frank with me," said Manga-Winry, "do you like Ed, or not?"
Anime-Winry looked thoughtful, "Maybe…I kind of like them both…" she said, looking at little guilty.
Manga-Winry rolled her eyes, "So do I, but I I'm in love with Ed, and I love Al, so what about you? You can't just say you like both!"
Anime-Winry looked a little annoyed, "Well…I can't decide!"
Manga-Winry sweat dropped, then looked over across the room, and spied the two Scars, who were looking anywhere but themselves, "That bastard…" she muttered, glaring at her parents murderer.
Anime-Winry followed her eyes to Scar, and frowned, "What's wrong with him? I mean I know he nearly killed Ed, but he isn't that bad of a guy…"
Manga-Winry glared at her in righteous fury, "He killed our parents! He's a bastard, and I hope he dies!"
Anime-Winry looked appalled, "He did what! I thought that creep," he pointed at Mustang, "killed our parents, you're saying its that Ishbalan guy?"
Manga-Winry blinked and looked back over at Mustang, who was looking at his counterpart, smirking.
"I didn't think that guy could do anything…"she muttered.
Manga-Roy looked at Anime-Roy, smirking.
"I say this with no shame or regret…"he began, smiling charmingly at Anime-Roy, "You are the sexiest man I've ever met."
Anime-Roy laughed, "The feeling's mutual, my good buddy," he said, smiling winningly as sparkles appeared all around both their faces, further enhancing their looks.
Anime-Hawkeye looked at Manga-Hawkeye.
"How do you deal with him?" she asked.
Manga-Hawkeye sighed, "It's hard…but I just got a desk-job with the Fuhrer, so I don't have to deal with him as much…"
At the very end of the room, Hohenheim was engaged in conversation with the mysterious Father, who resembled him quite remarkably. Dante was staring at the man with hearts in her eyes, her dreams of finding a man as evil and intelligent as she finally realized.
"So…"Hohenheim asked, "You're evil?"
Father gave a slight nod, and continued staring impassively around the room.
"Yes…It would seem that you're somewhat of a lying, cheating scumbag, so I hardly see where you can get off calling me 'evil'."
Hohenheim sweat dropped.
Meanwhile, Manga-Scar looked at Anime-Scar who returned the look squarely. Neither spoke for a while, and then Manga-Scar said quite plainly,
Anime-Scar attacked him at once, roaring in righteous fury.
So who one this great battle of battles?
The Manga Homunculi are thoroughly annoyed by the Anime Homunculi, whom they believe are complete pussies and deserve to return to hell because they have no pride in their species.
The Manga Elric Brothers find somewhat kindred spirits in their counterparts, even if Anime and Manga Ed keep trying to see who is taller, when in reality they are both the same height.
The Manga Winry enjoys talking with her counterpart, finally reveling in the fact that she can have proper "girl-talk" even if her counterpart is unable to decide whom she loves.
The Father sufficiently hates Hohenheim, while Dante has fallen in love with the Father, happy that she might have found someone who understands her.
Manga Scar believes Anime Scar is a whiny baby, who can't commit to the ruthlessness of killing all the State Alchemists.
Ling is all alone…
So who wins? We don't know, but I for one believe that it was the Manganites, seeing as how they are totally badass, while the Animetors are just total pussies.
But that's just me.
We may never know who wins this epic battle…
Done! Hope you enjoyed that little one-shot parody. I made it because I found the huge differences in the manga and the anime hilarious, and wanted to see what the reactions would be if the characters met each other.
I am a fan of the manga, so if any of the information about the anime is wrong, then feel free to let me know. I stopped watching the anime after the thirtieth or so episode, mostly because I couldn't find any fansubs above that.
I do like the openings in the anime though.
Well, that's it, enjoy!