A/N I was always sure that I was only a fanfic reader, not a writer. But this little scene just wouldn't leave me alone… I originally thought it up with an OC being the girl, but as they are not very popular, I changed her into Angelina. She could be anyone though, Luna Lovegood, Millicent Bulstrode, yourself… I hope it is just as funny here as it is in my mind and that it's readable, as English is not my first language.
I was standing at the end of the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, having just finished my dinner and about to ask Professor Sinistra something about my homework. But before I could get to her, Sean Hammond – a seventh-year Ravenclaw, tall, dark and mysterious; what more does a girl want? – came walking over.
"Hey, Angelina, can I ask you something?"
In this pre-Yule Ball world, this particular question made me tremble a little with excitement (and with completely other feelings when Marcus Flint brought it to me the day before…).
"Good…" He looked at the ground and grinned nervously, "Would you… would you like to come to the ball with me?"
"Well…" I felt myself grinning nervously as well, but before I could say anything more, someone next to me said: "No."
Standing on my left hand side was Fred Weasley, hands in his pockets, leaning casually against the table. He watched Sean with an uncharacteristically friendly look on his face.
"Er… excuse me?" said Sean.
"No," said Fred slowly, like addressing a three-year-old, "She won't come to the ball with you. And do you want to know why? I can see that you do." He was talking faster now, and his normal look of mischief and amusement was once again back on his face.
"Because Angelina here," Indicating me briefly before putting his hand back in his pocket, "Is the woman I love. She doesn't love me yet, but she will before long. And then she will go to the ball with me, marry me, and have my children.
"That means," he continued, "That, in due time, she will be my friend, my muse, my wife and my sex goddess. And although I really love your face, Hammond," He reached out and touched Sean's cheek briefly, "You just don't… fit in all this. I'm truly sorry. But here's the deal: you bugger off, and I'll give you a free Fake Wand to ease you disappointment and despair. There you go." And he held one of his fake wands in front of Sean, grinning from ear to ear.
Sean was staring at Fred with wide-opened, saucer-like eyes. I felt my mouth hanging open, registering vaguely that people around me were laughing. What did he say? Wife? Sex goddess? Someone press 'rewind', please!
"Here," Fred pressed the wand into Sean's right hand, "Now go. Go on, shoo!" And he waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.
Sean looked bewildered at the wand, shook his head and walked off, without even looking at me again.
Fred turned around and faced me, beaming.
"You…," I said, "You… you're absolutely insane!"
"Ah, yes," he answered and he threw an arm around me and stared at the ceiling as if in deep thought, "It's a rare gift. I was very fortunate. All right," he removed his arm and picked up his bag, "See you later, love!" Then he winked at me and walked away.
Suddenly my brain started working again.
"Hey!" I shouted after him. He turned around.
"Did you just ask me to the ball?"
He grinned. "Not yet!" And he walked out of the Great Hall.
With my brain on full power again, I was now fully aware of all the people who were laughing around me. Even half the staff was laughing (McGonagall was positively howling, and everybody knows that doesn't happen very often.), along with all the Gryffindors and Nearly Headless Nick. I'm positive that even Mrs Norris was grinning at me.
Well, it's obvious that from that moment, my life was over.
I didn't go to the ball with wonderful, incredibly handsome Sean Hammond.
I was laughed at by half the staff and half the student body of Hogwarts.
And I was falling head over heels for Fred Weasley.