Urusei Yatsura - The Senior Year: "Return of Memory" Part 1 of 2
by Mike Smith
Read Road, R. R. #5, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario L0S 1J0 Canada
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transmitted by Fred Herriot
c/o Tuson Academy
48-15 Myongil-dong, Kangdong-gu, Seoul 134-072 Korea
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edited by E.B. Kushnir
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Second in a series of fan fiction stories based on "Urusei Yatsura"
created by Rumiko Takahashi
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1) This is the first story in which a new character is introduced
who has not appeared previously in anime or manga. While Mike and I
have a fixed continuity in this series, that does not mean that all of
you out there in Otaku Land cannot make use of characters we bring
into this series. By all means, feel free to use people such as
Nassur (more of which will be described below). Credit for Nassur's
creation to Mike Smith WOULD be appreciated, though!

2) CHARACTER NOTES: Nassur was created by Mike Smith several
years ago in answer to a basic question he asked about Lum: who
trained her in the use of her powers? Evolving over the years and
many story re-writes, Nassur has become the icon of the lone
hunter-samurai, a character type which seems to be missing in
"Yatsura." Nassur is also a character whose presence, in "Urusei
Yatsura - The Senior Year" would have some of the greatest impact on
the lives of the people of Tomobiki, especially Lum and Ataru. He is
also the father of the lead female character in our first sequel
series, "Urusei Yatsura Twenty Years Later." We'll let you guess who
the lucky girl who gets to marry him is, but here's a hint: it's NOT
the person who falls head-over-heels for him in this story!

3) Finally, a little request from Mike and I...while we would
appreciate the use of our characters in other people's fan fiction
stories (it's telling us that we're doing SOMETHING right!), please DO
NOT use them in hentai/lemon-type fiction. While we do understand
that there are people who do like that stuff...and Mike and I would be
interested in reading them if there were only good stories to go along
with the sex scenes... but we would be grossly offended if you did
make use of characters we created in those type of stories. Please
understand, however, that we are not preaching any sort of censorship.

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Anyhow, that's enough for this time, so...ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!

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Somewhere in the outer reaches of the known Galaxy.

On a desert planet orbiting a red giant, a small starship, no
bigger than a runabout, lays in the sand. It has been there a while
as evidenced by a makeshift camp built nearby and everything is
encrusted by reddish sand from frequent sandstorms.

Of course, a lifeform is present. Sitting on the sand in the
shade of the ship is a male middle-aged humanoid biped dressed in a
ragged uniform which resembles prison gear. His greying brown hair is
long and unkempt, his rugged face is sunburnt and covered with greyish
stubble. He eats a small can of green paste resembling a form of
gelatin with a spoon.

This is Benito Varo, the former dictator from Chronos, a
planet in a nearby star system. Weeks ago, Varo would have been
dining on pressed elvabird breast and three-year ambrosia served by
his personal chef in the luxury of his own palace in the capital city
instead of nutrient paste. *Nutrient paste*, he thinks to himself.
*What truly disgusting food! I wouldn't feed it to my dog!*

After finishing his stomach-turning meal, Varo throws the
empty can onto a nearby pile of other empty cans all bearing the same
green label. *It's just my luck to crash on a planet with little in
terms of edible lifeforms*, he thinks. *A few more weeks of this and
I shall give myself up willingly.*

As Varo internally discusses the virtues of surrendering
himself, a tall person dressed in a long, flowing robe with a hood is
watching the crash site via infra-red binoculars from a safe distance
away. "I've got you, Benito Varo," the man lowers the binoculars,
revealing a pair of glowing green eyes. "It's time for you to pay for
the crimes you committed against the people of Chronos."

The man moves toward the ship in a way similar to the ninja.
Unsuspecting, Varo lays down on the sand, looking at the heat of the
burning wastes. "Next time, I'll make sure I'll leave no witnesses,"
he muses.

Suddenly, the sand in front of him explodes! A
waterspout-like wave of sand flies into the air. When the dust
clears, Varo is surprised to see the man in the hood standing in front
of him. The stranger's green eyes fade. "Benito Varo!" the man
points to the ex-dictator. "You escaped from the Takron-Galthos
Prison World where you've been serving a life sentence for the
genocide of over one million of your own citizens, haven't you?"

"What's it to you?" Varo says nervously.

The man removes his hood to reveal a very handsome young man
with fair skin, long straight brown hair, tapered ears, and beard
stubble. His piercing eyes are a shade of blue which seem to stare
straight through Varo. "I'm Nassur of Home Base," he contemptulously
declares. "I'm a bounty hunter. The people of Chronos put a price on
your head and I mean to get it."

"So, it IS you," Varo nervously laughs. "My people decided to
send in one of the big guns. They send the Man Without A Planet."

Nassur glares at Varo. "It's true Vos considers me a
roonin...but that doesn't mean I'm helpless," he growls.

"Oh, yeah?" Varo slowly moves his hand towards his right boot,
where a small dagger is hidden for emergencies. "We'll see about
that!" With speed that defies a man his age, Varo throws his dagger
aimed at Nassur's heart! "Die!!!"

But before the blade can hit the young hunter, he leaps
literally out of his robe. The dagger misses Nassur by a proverbal
mile, snagging his robe. Nassur wears a form-fitting jumpsuit with
knee-high boots of blue trimmed in silver. Around his slim waist is a
white belt which has been knotted many times. Varo is too surprised
looking up to defend himself and gets clobbered with a flying kick
from the falling hunter!

* * *

Later, Nassur drags his semi-conscious prisoner towards his
own small starship, which looks like a cross between Space Cruiser
Yamato and a Klingon Bird of Prey. Her name is the "Renegade." Her
pennant number is NFI-...Naval Frigate, Independent-...337. "No place
like home," Nassur muses to himself.

Varo is placed in the "Renegade's" brig after being stripped
of additional hidden weapons. Nassur moves to the bridge of his ship.
As he arrives, he gives his customary glance to the dedication plate,
which reads the phrase WHEREVER YOU GO, YOU ARE THERE.

Nassur sits at the helm, activating the engines. "Renegade"
soon lifts off for the nearest Chronos starbase where he could drop
his load. Once out of the gravitational pull of the planet, Nassur
contacts his base's computer to get an update on any messages he may
have received while he was gone.

Nassur lives almost alone on an asteroid on the border between
Urusian and Fukunokami space. This area, which is also bordered by
space claimed by the Ellsians, the Karasutengu, the Confederation of
his native Vos, as well as various independent worlds, is popularly
referred to as the "Dead Zone" because it is a region of space which
bears little benefit, materials or otherwise, to other, more advanced
races. Chronos for example is one of the small independent worlds
which litter the Dead Zone. Another location is Home Base, Nassur's
home asteroid. There, except for the super-computer which runs Home
Base, he is alone. Since Nassur first moved to Home Base thirty
Terran Standard years ago, the computer has become almost human to the
young man.

But the computer has a very unusual trait: it is female and
proud of it! "*Yo, Nassur-kun!*" the computer's sultry young voice
declares over the "Renegade's" com channel. "*How'd it go this

Nassur overlooks the gross violation of protocol. *Typical*,
he muses to himself before answering. "Perfect, Computer. Benito
Varo'll be back behind bars within the hour. Any messages since I've
been gone."

"*Just one, Nassur-kun,*" the computer's voice seems to have a
smile in it. "*It's from your old student, Lum no
Midorinokaminoke-oni of Uru.*"

"Oh," Nassur smiles. "Pipe it through."

On the forward viewscreen, Lum appears. "Hello, Nassur-chan!"
the Oni waves. "I just called to invite you to come for a visit. We
haven't seen each other since I moved to Earth to live with Darling.
You'd really like Darling. He's such a nice guy. Well, I'd better go
before I run up a long phone bill. Be sure to tell me when you're
coming. Bye!"

The message ends. "Ah, Lum...my first student...you've grown
so much since I last saw you," Nassur mockingly sighs as if he was
some literary teacher reciting a work of Shakespeare. "Captain
Invader's little girl has changed a lot. Computer, send a message to
Lum and tell her I'll be on Earth in a couple of days for a nice long

"*Understood*," the computer acknowledges. "*Maybe while
you're gone, I'll go try to chat with the computer on the Eternal

"Still trying with him, are you?" Nassur hums. "Someday, I'll
have to find out why you're so flirty."

"*Maybe someday, you will, Nassur-kun!*" the computer then
breaks contact.

*I don't know what's worse*, Nassur sighs, *...being a lonely
bounty hunter or living with a sex-crazed computer...!*

* * *

Meanwhile, on Earth, in the orchard of the Mendou Clan, the
cherry trees are still in blossom. In the middle is a huge cherry
tree, almost the size of a giant redwood. This is the Tarouzakura,
the most revered plant on the grounds.

Actually, this is the second Tarouzakura. The first one was
destroyed in events so mysterious no one in Tomobiki still fully
understood what happened. The only thing people did understand was
Lum began to lose powers, then disappeared. Concurrent to that,
everyone began losing their memories of Lum. Everyone discovered they
were in some sort of dream world where Lum did not exist. After a
pseudo-war was organized between the Mendou and the Mizunokoji Clans,
Lum returned, claiming she had met a creature calling itself the
Memory of Tomobiki. Lum's return eventually freed everyone and they
were restored back to what serves as reality in Japan's most infamous

Since then, botanists serving under Ryooko Mendou have grafted
genetic material from the original Tarouzakura to a new tree. Oddly,
the new tree quickly grew to the size of the old one! But tonight,
this Tarouzakura, usually the site of many Mendou Clan picnics, is
playing host to a rougher, less sophisticated crowd: a pair of
drunken male street people.

The two share a bottle of cheap sake between themselves. "Dis
town's really good!" says one of them, a chubby middle-aged man
dressed in red.

"Yeah," burps the other, a taller, younger man dressed in
blue. "'M hungry. I wan' some cherries."

"Ya got expensive tastes," the first street person says.

The second street person stands up unsteadily as the multiple
gulps of sake begin to take their toll on his balance. He staggers
unsteadily towards the Tarouzakura. Once there, he begins to climb
the huge trunk to get at the lower branches. "Do ya wan' some ta?" he
asks his pal.

The answer is a burp. "Nah!" the first one says. "I don't
eat when I drink."

The second street person grabs a large lower branch with his
hands and begins to pull himself up higher. Unfortunately, the extra
weight on the branch itself causes it to crack. He fails to notice
the danger to look at some very green newly-formed cherries nearby.
"Dere's some," he reaches out for them...as the branch breaks!

He falls to the ground. The branch lands on top of his head!
"Yo," the other street person asks his buddy, who lays on the ground
with a huge bump on his head. "Ya okay?"

"I t'ink so," the injured bum says, rubbing his head. "Help
me up!"

As the street person helps his buddy to his feet, an eerie
bluish light appears inside the hole where the branch broke off. It
shines like a spotlight on the two bums. Immediately, they stop what
they are doing to look up. "Wha...?" escapes from one's lips.

The injured bum falls to the ground in surprise. "Is it da
cops?" he fights to stand up again.

"I dunno," the other bum shakes his head. "But I'm gettin'
outta here!"

The first bum runs as fast as he can out of the cherry
orchard. His buddy is right behind him running just as fast. "Wait
fer me!" he screams.

Once they are gone, the mysterious blue light fades out...

* * *

A few days later at Tomobiki High School, the students of this
institute of 'learning' enter the grounds for the coming day's
classes. Among them are Ataru Moroboshi and Lum. Both are dressed in
their spring school uniforms. Ataru is trying to ignore Lum as much
as possible. Lum flies beside him trying to get his attention.
"Darling," she sighs. "I want to tell you something."

"What is it, Lum?" Ataru does not look at her.

"I'm having a friend of mine coming to visit for a few days.
An old friend actually."

"Really?" a sly grin appears on his face. "Who is it? Is it
that wild and crazy Benten? Or that calm and cool Oyuki? Or that shy
and naive Lan?"

"Sorry, Darling, this one's a boy."

Ataru faints! "N-not Rei, is it...?" he stammers.

Lum looks appalled. "Why would I invite that dumb tiger-cow
to visit us?! He hates you!!"

"Don't I know it", Ataru sighs, remembering times Lum's
ex-fiance danced on his face while transformed into his huge
tiger-bull self.

"If you must know," Lum sighs, "...it's someone you've never
met before. An old teacher of mine."

Ataru looks surprised. "An old teacher of yours? So, it's a
'thanks for teaching me' visit. Aren't you supposed to go see him

"Not exactly, Darling. Nassur is more than a teacher to me.
He's shy and sensitive, so please be nice to him."

"I'll try."

Shortly after the two teens enter the school, the clear sky
clouds over. Thunder is heard. Everyone stops what they are doing to
look at the sky. There they see "Renegade" coming in for a landing in
the school grounds. Unfortunately, the sight of an alien ship landing
in the middle of the school grounds has the usual reaction from most
of the students and staff of the school...hysterical panic! Inside
classroom 337, the members of Ataru and Lum's homeroom look in fear
and shock at the starship landing on their school grounds. "Lum-san,
who's ship is that?" Mendou demands.

"It looks like a warship!" Megane quips.

"Oh, it's only my friend and mentor, Nassur-chan!" Lum smiles.

Ataru looks at the "Renegade," quickly noting that the small
frigate is a little too well-armed to be a ship for a teacher. "Um,
Lum, I thought Nassur was a teacher."

"He is, but that's his part-time job," Lum replies.

"What's his full-time job?"

"He's a bounty hunter."

Everyone faints! "***A BOUNTY HUNTER?!?!?!***" Ataru
exclaims. "You called a bounty hunter to stay with us?!"

"Why so nervous?" Megane snorts. "Who'd put a bounty on you?"

"Of course," Mendou laughs. "No one would pay to see you
dead. Idiots are a dime a dozen."

"Where does that leave you, Supersnob?" Mie Seikou snorts from

Mendou nearly has a case of apoplexy on hearing the Kyushu
native's snide comment. A gangplank lowers from "Renegade" towards
the window of the classroom. "Well, if he's a bounty hunter and a
teacher of Lum..." Megane muses, "...he's gotta look like this." The
be-speckled leader of the guards creates a mental picture of a man who
looks middle-aged and very ugly.

"Are you in for a surprise," Lum hums.

The window opens and Nassur steps into the classroom, eyes
glowing green. "I'm here, Lum," he announces as his eyes fade back to
their normal blue.

The girls, save Mie, scream in ecstacy on seeing the handsome
and young Nassur. The most impressed is Shinobu herself. All the
guys, including Mendou, are open-mouthed with astonishment. "H-he's
more handsome than Rei," Megane gasps.

"He's the same age as Sakura-san," Mendou adds.

"This is Nassur?" Ataru wonders.

Nassur steps onto the floor. Lum lands in front of him.
"Nassur-chan," the Oni beams. "You came!"

"That's right," Nassur gives her an appraising look. "My,
you've grown a lot since I last saw you."

"Well, it's been a couple of years since I last saw you...and
I'm not a Vosian," Lum giggles. "But, why didn't you go to Darling's
house like I asked?"

"Well, the only people there was your cousin and some strange
old woman who fainted when I told her who I was. Is that a typical
greeting on Earth?"

"Well..." Lum muses.

Suddenly, an incensed Ataru appears in front of Nassur. "That
was my mother, you...you killer!!" he growls. "What did you do to

Mendou and the guards jump Ataru and hold him on the floor!
"Are you crazy?" Megane hisses. "Do you want to get him mad?"

Nassur turns to Lum. "I take it he's Ataru Moroboshi."

"*Datcha*," Lum flies to Ataru and landing beside her
astonished would-be husband.

Nassur crouches in front of Ataru. "I'm Nassur of Home Base,"
he hands him a business card. "My card."

Ataru takes the business card. It says NASSUR'S BOUNTY
HUNTING SERVICE over a smaller notation: Live Targets My Speciality.
"Don't worry about your mother," Nassur smiles. "Once she recovered
she was very cooperative in telling me where you and Lum were.
Jariten even gave me a map...not that I need it." Nassur shows a
crude hand-drawn map to everyone.

*He would*, Ataru snarls to himself.

Nassur then notices Shinobu standing in front of him. She has
put on some make up to improve her simple beauty. "Um, Nassur-san,"
she gently smiles, "...I'm Shinobu Miyaki. I'm one of Lum's best

"You are?" Lum asks Shinobu.

Shinobu kicks Lum in the shin. "You are!" the Terran hisses.

"I am...I guess," Lum sighs, shrugging.

Shinobu tries to play the serene girl in front of Nassur. It
is an act everyone in the class looks at suspiciously. "Hey,
Shinobu," Ataru says as he tries to get her attention. "What's with
the cute girl act?" Ataru lifts her skirt up.

Shinobu kicks Ataru in the face! "Lay off!" she snaps.

"Ah, yes, Shinobu Miyaki," Nassur remembers. "Lum has told me
about you."

"You know who I am?" Shinobu asks with surprise. Lum looks

"Yes, she did," Nassur replies. "She says that sometimes, you
can be quite a destructive little witch!"

Shinobu faints! "***WHAT?!?!?!***"

"It was just a joke!" Lum giggles nervously.

Shinobu picks up the teacher's desk and prepares to throw it
at Lum. "I'm a nice feminine girl," she growls, "...and I'll kill
anyone who says differently!" Shinobu throws the desk at Lum, who
dives out of the way in time. Unfortunately, Ataru is not so lucky!

* * *

After Ataru is bandaged up by Sakura and the school day ends,
Ataru, Lum, and Nassur eat supper with Ataru's parents and Ten-chan in
the living room. Also there is Shinobu, who is sticking as close to
Nassur as possible without being attached to the young hunter
physically. Everyone is paying attention to Nassur except for Ataru's
father Muchi, who is reading his newspaper as usual, and Ataru, who
looks at Nassur with jealousy because of Shinobu. "Thank you for
dinner, Mrs. Moroboshi," Nassur finishes his supper. "I apologize for
scaring you this morning. Some people are more than a little
intimidated by my occupation."

"That's all right," Ataru's mother Kinshou smiles as if what
happened was all forgotten. "I didn't know Lum had a bounty hunter
for a tutor. I must say that you're better mannered than *some*
people I know!" She looks straight at Ataru at that last

Ataru looks coldly at his mother, then coughs. "When Lum said
she had a tutor when she was a kid, I expected somebody a lot older,"
Shinobu confesses, "...and a lot meaner."

"Well, my race, the Vosians..." Nassur explains, "...only age
one year physically for every five years chronologically after age
fourteen. I'm physically equal to someone in their mid-twenties right
now, but when I was born, your own grandparents were in diapers. I'll
probably outlive all of your grandchildren...if God helps me."

"Some people are lucky," Shinobu sighs. "So how long have you
known Lum?"

"Ever since she was a baby. I helped protect her from being
kidnapped when she was only a few months old. Then I visited her
family off and on throughout the years. Then I tutored her five years
ago in how to fight using her natural powers."

"Interesting," Shinobu looks impressed.

"And I still have one embarrassing scar from one of his
'lessons,'" Lum sighs.

Ataru looks interested. "You do?" he touches her body.

"Don't act so familiar around me, Darling!" Lum growls.

Ataru looks disgusted. "What a bloody double-standard she
has...and she complains about me!" he grumbles.

Lum and his own mother fire him dirty looks. "Still," Nassur
adds, "...Lum has gotten prettier as she's gotten older."

Lum blushes. "Flatterer!" she teasingly slaps Nassur on the

"Gee," Ten-chan sighs. "Maybe you can help me with my
flame-breath control, Nassur-chan."

"I can try," Nassur says.

*Thanks loads, Nassur*, Ataru rolls his eyes to the ceiling.

Before the conversation can continue, the phone rings. Ataru
dashes for the phone. "I'll get it!" he calls.

As the lecherous high schooler rushes to the foyer to answer
the phone, he snickers to himself. "I wonder who it could be this
time? Ami? Rei? Makoto? Usagi? Ninako?" Ataru answers the phone.
"Hello, Moroboshi house," he says into receiver, then looks
disappointed to hear a man's voice on the phone. "Oh, Mendou, what
can I do for you?" he snarls.

In the huge living room at the Mendou mansion, Mendou is
calling on a private phone. "Moroboshi, there is going to be a picnic
in my cherry orchard tonight. Can you be here?" he asks.

"I understand," Ataru nods. "I'll make your sister very

"**WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MY SISTER?!?!?!**" Mendou screams
into the receiver, nearly knocking Ataru over. "The invitation is for
Lum and her tutor," the scion of the Mendou fortune calms down,
"...although, you'll probably come anyway."

"Okay," Ataru sighs. "We'll be there."

After hanging up the phone, Ataru returns to the living room,
where Nassur continues to be the life of the party. "Who was that on
the phone?" Lum asks.

"Oh, it was Mendou," Ataru answers. "We're all invited to a
icnic at his mansion's cherry orchard."

"Oh, how neat," Shinobu says. "Is Nassur-kun invited?"

"Yeah," Ataru snorts.

"Well, let's go," Nassur nods. "I've never been to an Earth
picnic before."

Nassur stands up with Shinobu. "Picnics are great for
fostering friendships," she says, taking Nassur by the hand.

"Can I go, too, Lum-chan?" Ten-chan asks with anticipation.

"Well, it's getting past your bedtime," Lum looks at a nearby

"Don't worry, Lum," Nassur hums. "I remember a certain little
Oni girl, who always was trouble to get into bed at night."

"I wonder who that was?" Lum blushes.

"It's only a picnic," Nassur says. "What could go wrong
during a picnic?"

"I guess you're right, Nassur," Lum smiles. "Ten-chan, you
can come as long as you behave."

"I will!" the smaller Oni nods happily.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the cherry orchard at the Tarouzakura, a
squirrel is scurrying around looking for nuts. When it nears the huge
cherry tree, a bright light, similar to the one which scared away the
two bums a few days ago, shines on the squirrel. The squirrel stands
transfixed in terror as if the light was from a car's headlight, not
from a tree. It darts away with a screech. As soon as the squirrel
is far enough away, the light fades out.

* * *

An hour later, the Tarouzakura stands in the centre of a small
picnic spread out under its huge blossoming branches. Everyone
lounges on a huge blanket with the Mendou Clan's stylized octopus
crest on the ground. There is plenty of food around, although the
only ones who are eating are Ataru and Ten-chan. Everyone
else...Mendou, Megane, Lum and Shinobu...are more interested in Nassur
and the stories he tells about some of his adventures as a hunter.
"How interesting!" Shinobu applauds. "I guess being a bounty hunter
isn't dull."

"That's for sure," Nassur chuckles. "But, there's a lot of
danger to go with the excitement. I've lost a lot of people who were
close to me since I started."

"That's true," sadness appears in Lum's voice.

Nassur looks at the Tarouzakura, quite impressed by its size.
"That's an impressive tree you've got here, Mendou. What's it

"That's the Tarouzakura," Mendou replies. "It's a graft of a
tree that has been in my family for generations."

"How long ago did you graft it?"

"Only a few months ago."

"A *few* months?" the Vosian looks surprised. "My, it grew

"I'll say," Megane cuts in. "It looks so sick."

"So it does," Shinobu agrees.

"That's because it's been damaged by some vagrants," Mendou
replies, "But, you're right, Nassur-san...this tree has grown fast.
No one can explain why."

"Er...Nassur-san," Megane turns to the hunter, "...Lum-san
says you can track people by their brain wave patterns. Does that
mean you can read minds?"

"Not really, Megane," Nassur answers. "Almost every living
thing has a brain and its own unique brainwave pattern. My people all
have the power to sense the location of a same person to some extent.
I have other psychic powers, but I'm no telepath."

"Phooey!" Ataru snorts. "Nobody can do that!"

"Don't be rude, Darling," Lum yells. "Nassur doesn't boast
about his abilities. He has the strongest tracking powers ever
developed by his people."

"That's true," Nassur sighs, "...but sometimes, they're more
trouble than they're worth."

"What can you sense about us, Nassur?" Shinobu innocently

"Well, I don't like to pry. It's against my people's nature
to pry into matters when not invited."

"Still, a demonstration is in order," Lum says.

"So it is," Nassur turns to Ataru. "Ataru, how would you like
to play hide and seek?"

Ataru looks surprised. "Why? I only play tag."

"Just do it, Darling," Lum says. "It's a demonstration."

"Okay," Ataru gets up and walks away. "But Nassur better not
want to marry me if I win."

"Just go!" everyone yells.

Ataru rushes off into the orchard. Nassur squats down on the
ground and closes his eyes. "I'll give Ataru five minutes to hide,"
he says, "...then I'll go find him. I don't want to give myself too
much of an advantage over Ataru."

Lum pulls out a pair of small objects out of her bra. One is
small and satellite-shaped, the other is a television monitor about
the size of a small calculator. "We'll watch Nassur with my new
spy-eye set," the Oni announces.

"You keep the weirdest things in your bra, Lum-san," Mendou

Shinobu notices Nassur is acting entranced. "W-what's wrong
with Nassur-kun?" she stammers.

"That's how he uses his power," Lum explains.

* * *

Meanwhile, Ataru is busy trying to find a hiding place. *This
is silly*, he sighs to himself. *Me playing hide and seek at my age.
I wish Lum's aliens friends would play more adult games!* Then, Ataru
realizes something. "Wait!" he muses aloud. "I can go visit

As fast as he can, Ataru runs for Ryooko Mendou's hamlet.
While Ataru runs, he has visions of Mendou's little sister dancing in
his head. "I can't wait to surprise her!" he yelps happily.

He comes up to Ryooko's hamlet from the back way. He stops
near the composter behind her mansion, then peeks around the corner
for her. He sees Ryooko standing nearby tending flowers and trees in
her huge garden. She is dressed in her usual black kimono. "My, you
plants are talkative today," she says, not suspecting Ataru's

Ataru chuckles to himself, then notices the composter. "I'll
hide in here and pop out to surprise her when she walks by," he
whispers to himself.

Ataru opens the composter...and is nearly floored by the smell
of the rotting vegetable matter inside! "Phew!" he shakes his head.
"I hope Mom understands when she washes my clothes."

Ataru hops into the composter and lowers the lid. Unknown to
him, Ryooko quietly walks off to reenter her home. Inside the
composter, Ataru waits for the right time to spring. "Heh! Heh!" he
chuckles. "Nobody will find me here!"

Suddenly, Ataru notices a pair of glowing green eyes staring
right at him. "Never say never!" a man's voice echoes.

Ataru screams in terror and literally bursts through one of
the walls of the composter, leaving an outline of himself on the wall!
"It's a snake!!!" Ataru shivers nearby.

Then, out of the hole Ataru just made in the composter, Nassur
sticks his head out. "I see you!" he says.

Ataru relaxes after understanding the snake in the composter
was actually Nassur. "I think I wet myself!" he gasps. "When did you
get in there?"

"Around 'Nobody will find me here,'" Nassur climbs out of the

Minutes later, Ataru and Nassur both arrive back at the
picnic. "We're back!" Nassur announces.

As soon as everyone sees Ataru, they begin to laugh
uncontrollably. "It wasn't that funny!" Ataru blushes with

"S-seeing you burst out of that composter," Mendou giggles,
"...was so funny!" Suddenly, he gets a serious look on his face.
"Moroboshi!!" he asks, "Where was that composter located?!"

"Where else," Ataru shrugs. "At Ryooko-chan's house!"

With lightning speed, Mendou pulls out his katana and swings
it at Ataru! Ataru barely manages catch it between his hands before
it could cut his head off. "Retard!!!" Mendou yells. "How dare you
try to seduce my sister behind my back?!!"

"Are they always like this?" Nassur asks Lum.

"Shutaro is always happy when Darling's around," Lum naively

"Right," Nassur rolls his eyes.

Mendou pushes Ataru away from him, then begins to chase him
around the orchard. "You will die for your lecherous behaviour!" the
scion of the Mendou fortune declares.

"Aren't you overreacting just a bit?" Ataru ducks the swings
of Mendou's katana.

Finally, Mendou backs Ataru against the Tarouzakura itself.
"You're going to die, Moroboshi," he readies his katana.

"Aren't they getting out of hand?" Nassur asks.

"Actually," Megane muses, "...they're acting rather playful
this time."

"Right," Nassur replies. "I would hate to see it when they're

"Calm down, Mendou!" Ataru pleads, raw fear visible on his

"You've gone too far this time, Moroboshi!" Mendou growls.
"Stay right there! There will soon be *two* of you!"

Mendou swings his katana at Ataru. Ataru, seeing the sharp
polished blade of steel coming towards him, does only one
thing...duck! Mendou's katana sails over the frightened teen and
slashes a huge gash through the Tarouzakura's trunk! Everyone
freezes. "What have I done?" Mendou cries in horror as he realizes
what he just did.

Everyone looks panicked by what happened, except Ataru who is
still cowering. Mendou looks at the gash his katana has left behind
and sees nothing. "There's nothing inside the tree?!! Impossible!!!"
Mendou turns angrily to Ataru. "Moroboshi, what have you done to my
family's tree?!!"

Ataru looks at Mendou angrily. "I didn't do anything!" he
denies. "Maybe it's from the Nega-verse."

Nassur, Lum, and the others walk up to the tree and inspect
the gash. "Where's the wood?" Shinobu asks. "Trees have wood under
their bark."

Nassur puts his hand into the gash. "It's hollow," he
announces as everyone sees he can place his arm as far as his shoulder
inside the gash.

"That's impossible!" Mendou implores. "How could a tree like
this be hollow?"

"It's a mystery," Nassur muses.

Lum slips her head into the gash, then looks down. Inside the
tree is dark, except at the bottom, where there is a pool of bluish
light. "What's this blue light?" Lum asks.

Everyone else looks into the gash to confirm Lum's
observation. "What is that?" Megane asks.

"It's weird," Ten-chan says.

"I'm scared, Nassur-kun," Shinobu frets, hugging Nassur's arm,
"Hold me!"

Nassur looks at the light, his eyes turning green. "That
light seems to be alive," he says slowly.

"Are you sure?" Lum asks.

Nassur points to his eyes. "Are these the eyes that lie?" he

"Is it good or evil?" Mendou asks.

"I can't tell," Nassur says.

"Can you talk to it?" Megane asks.

"If you can," Mendou adds, "...tell it to go haunt Moroboshi
like all weird things are supposed to!"

"Thanks a lot, Mendou!" Ataru growls.

"I'll try to communicate with it," Nassur says. "But I'm a
hunter, not a first contact specialist." He looks down at the light.
"Hello, what do you want?" he asks in a non-threatening manner.

The light responds by shooting up like a water spout,
destroying it completely. Somehow the sound the explosion makes is
tempered by a voice saying *Help me!* The force of the explosion
sends everyone flying!

* * *

Seconds later, everyone wakes up on the ground around where
the Tarouzakura formally stood. The huge cherry tree is now a bunch
of splinters. "What a party!" Ataru wakes up first.

"We must have passed out," Mendou gets to his feet.

"What happened?" Shinobu removes several pieces of wood off
her. "I felt as if I passed through something."

"So do I," Lum wipes off herself and Ten-chan of dirt and
wood. "What happened to that light creature?"

"I don't know," Nassur looks into the crater the explosion
left. "Whatever I sensed is gone now."

"No kidding," Ataru snidely snorts.

"Strange," Megane muses, straightening his glasses. "That
explosion sounded like a cry for help."

"But from who?" Ten-chan asks.

"What do you think it was, Nassur-kun?" Shinobu asks the

"I'm stumped," Nassur replies. "I've been all over the known
Galaxy and made contact with hundreds of races and cultures, but I've
never come across anything like that before."

"Don't look at me," Lum shakes her head. "I don't know what
it was either."

"Whatever it was," Ataru says, "...it seems to be gone. Why
don't we just go home and go to bed?"

"Well," Nassur sighs. "We can come back tomorrow to check out
the debris."

"True," Lum says. "Let's go, Darling."

Quickly, the group of seven people go on their way home. The
only one who stays is Mendou...who suddenly realizes everyone has left
him with the job of cleaning up the mess. "Hey!!! Who's supposed to
clean up this mess?!!"

But everyone has gone...

* * *

Hours later, at the Moroboshi family house, everyone is in
bed. In Ataru's room, Ataru sleeps in his futon. Lum sleeps with
Ten-chan in a tiger stripped futon beside Ataru. A third futon, set
out for Nassur, lays open without any sign of its occupant. Nassur
stands on the balcony looking at the stars in the sky. He plays a
variation of a simple flute. The music is as soothing as it is sad.
The music wakes up Lum, who sits up and looks around for the source of
the music. "Who's playing a flute?"

Lum gets out of her futon carefully so she does not to wake
her little cousin, then follows the source of the music to Nassur on
the balcony. "Oh, it's you," Lum sighs. "You're still dressed.
Haven't you slept yet?"

Nassur stops playing the flute and turns to Lum. "Oh, did I
wake you? Sorry."

"No, it's all right," she walks up to her tutor. "You're
thinking of *her*, aren't you?"

"Is it obvious?" Nassur asks.

"We're *pe'cha*, remember?"

"So we are," Nassur begins to play again.

"How long has it been since she died?"

Nassur stops playing again. "Seven years. While I was
training you."

"I wish I knew her longer," Lum muses. "She was the most
beautiful woman I ever met."

"She was the best partner I ever had," Nassur muses.

"I thought you'd have a replacement by now. Benten's still
available, you know?"

"You know we were more than just partners."

Lum is silent a moment. "That's right," Lum says sadly. "You
and she were recognized."

"That's right, we were," Nassur says grimly. "When she died
on that shuttle, I felt as if my life had ended as well."

"But it didn't."

"No, it didn't. But since then, I've only had one partner:
Dakejinzou Shogai."

"Wow!!" Lum lets out an awed whistle. "That must've been
unbelievable. Shogai-san's reputation goes even father than yours."

"True," Nassur sighs. "But...we didn't last long as a team.
We're both loners by nature, she even more than I, for obvious

"Well, Benten's available and willing," Lum smiles. "She
still has the airbike you bought for her as a gift."

"It wasn't a gift," Nassur sighs. "It was more like an

"***IDIOTS!!!!!!***" Ataru's voice booms from the bedroom,
nearly throwing them from the balcony! "***WON'T YOU TWO QUIT YAPPING
AND GO TO SLEEP?!?!?!***"

"I think we woke Darling," Lum sighs.

Ataru shoves his face out the balcony doorway to look at them
angrily. "What're you two doing out here?" he growls.

"We're remembering Cinba, Darling," Lum answers.

A happy look appears on Ataru's face. "Oh, you're remembering
Cinba," he says before looking confused. "Er...who's Cinba?"

"Cinba was..." Lum starts out.

"...my wife," Nassur finishes.

"**WIFE?!?!**" Ataru yelps before falling off the balcony in
surprise and landing head first into the hedges!

"That must've hurt," Nassur looks down at Ataru.

"No, Darling has a very hard head."

Minutes later, after Ataru regains consciousness and is
brought back into the house, everyone meets in Ataru's bedroom.
Ten-chan continues to sleep in Lum's futon. "I didn't know you were
married," Ataru says.

"Well," Nassur says, "...Cinba died before Lum met you."

"I see. Do you have a picture of her?"

Nassur opens his uniform jersey and pulls out a photograph
featuring a younger version of himself and a beautiful young woman
looks like a blonde-haired Oyuki. She is dressed in an outfit similar
to Nassur's but of red trimmed in black. Around her slim waist is a
white belt similar to the one Nassur wears but not as knotted as his
is. "This was our wedding picture," Nassur sighs, "...such as it

"What a babe!" Ataru howls. "She's more beautiful than even

"She was, Darling," Lum says sadly. "And Fate gave her a
cruel end. She died in a shuttle accident before she could have a

"I see," Ataru looks nervous. "So what's the story between
you two?"

"Well," Nassur begins. "It started when Lum was a baby.
Lum's dad had been promoted as Captain of a new class of starship when
there rumours about an alien race wanting to snatch Lum for their own
ends. I saved Lum's life when an alien hitman came to kidnap Lum and
return her to his government. I tracked him to a sewer and fought him

"What happened then?" Ataru asks anxiously.

"I shot him," Nassur announces.

"You *killed* him?" Ataru looks horrified.

"Do you have a problem with that?" Nassur asks.

"You don't seem to be a killing type," Ataru observes.

"Nassur-chan isn't, Darling," Lum intercedes. "He only kills
when there're lives in danger."

"I hope that's true." Ataru says. "So how did you get roped
into becoming Lum's tutor?"

"Well, Darling," Lum begins, "...when I was younger, I wasn't
what you would call 'a nice girl.'"

"That's for sure," Nassur laughs.

"You weren't?" Ataru hums with mock surprise.

"No, I wasn't," Lum replies. "If you think Benten or Lan are
short-tempered and shady, I was worse."

"Where do you think she got the nickname 'Lum the Notorious'
from?" Nassur adds. "She was going into a terrible adolescence. So,
Lum's dad came to me and asked me to help give her some discipline and
some training."

"It wasn't easy," Lum explains. "Nassur really laid into me.
What's worse, Benten was there helping Nassur."

"Benten *helped*?" Ataru says with surprise.

"That's right," Lum continues. "She made sure I kept in

"But through that Lum and I became friends," Nassur announces.

"Why's that?" Ataru asks.

"During the training," Nassur says sadly, "...Cinba died. Lum
and Benten helped me get over her death enough to stand on my own."

"I see," Ataru suddenly yawns. "Well, let's go back to bed.
We've got school tomorrow."

"*Datcha!*" Lum says.

Ataru returns to bed. Nassur strips nude to go to bed. Lum
returns to her futon. Nassur turns to her. Lum, psi-link, he
telepathically calls out.

I hear you, Nassur-chan, Lum replies. What is it?

I just wanted to say that Ataru may be an idiot at times but
he's a good choice for you. A lot better than Rei ever was. Just be
careful around him. He may put up to you a lot, but don't push it.

*Datcha*, Lum replies telepathically.

* * *

To be concluded...

**** **** ****

Urusei Yatsura - The Senior Year: "Return of Memory" Part 2 of 2
by Mike Smith
Read Road, R. R. #5, Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario L0S 1J0 Canada
**** **** ****
transmitted by Fred Herriot
c/o Tuson Academy
48-15 Myongil-dong, Kangdong-gu, Seoul 134-072 Korea
**** **** ****
edited by E.B. Kushnir
**** **** ****
Second in a series of fan fiction stories based on "Urusei Yatsura"
created by Rumiko Takahashi
**** **** ****

IN PART ONE OF "RETURN OF MEMORY," we were introduced to Nassur, Lum's
former combat teacher and professional bounty-hunter. Invited to
Earth to visit his former student, Nassur causes quite a stir among
everyone else, especially Shinobu, who falls in love with the hansome
Vosian on sight. Meanwhile, strange developments begin to occur at
the Tarouzakura, site of many weird goings-on during the events
portrayed in "Lum the Forever." These goings-on soon come to the
attention of Lum and her classmates when they discover, thanks to
Ataru and Mendou's katana, that the second Tarouzakura is hollow and
supposedly possessed by a mysterious force calling for help. Deciding
to retire for the day and settle matters in the morning, Nassur is
invited to stay at the Moroboshi home. However, Nassur cannot get any
sleep for he is still remembering someone. Ataru soon learns that the
someone in question is Nassur's wife Cinba, who tragically died seven
years ago. When they go to bed, Nassur tells Lum that he approves of
her being with Ataru...

**** **** ****

Anyhow...ON WITH THE SHOW!!!!

**** **** ****

The next morning, Lum and Ataru are on their way to school.
"Nassur's an interesting guy, isn't he?" he hums.

"He is," Lum agrees. "I've tried to model myself after him."

"Did you ever met his wife?" Ataru asks.

"Only once," Lum remembers. "She was the most beautiful woman
I ever met. Compared to her, I felt like nothing. She never tied
Nassur down. If you met her, you would've loved her, too."

Ataru notices a tear slipping down Lum's face as they enter
the chool grounds. *She must've been something special...* Ataru
hums, *...judging by Lum's reaction to her.* He looks down. *I just
wish I could talk to Lum about Windy-chan with the same ease as Nassur
does about his wife. Then again, I wonder how'd Lum'd take it...*

Lum looks over to see his sad look. "Darling...what is it?!"
she reaches over to him. "You look upset. Did Cinba's story bother

"Huh?!" he looks up. "Oh, sorry, Lum!" he blushes, rubbing
the back of his skull. "I didn't mean to scare you. I was
just...remembering someone."

"Who?!" Lum looks curious.

Silence for a moment. "Sorry..." Ataru sighs, "...I don't
feel like talking about it to you...yet."

Without another word, he looks away from her. Lum looks ready
to say something, but then decides against it. Once in the school
grounds, the two teens walk past a couple of trees which stand near
the school building. Once they come close to it, Lum hears something
flying at her at the speed of a bullet. "Look out, Darling!" Lum
pushes Ataru out of the way and leaps on top of him to protect him.

Lum covers her head...and a small acorn bounces off of it.
Lum looks surprised when she discovers the truth about her dangerous
projectile. "An acorn?" Lum picks it up.

"What was that all about?!!" Ataru yells.

"A test," a man's voice calls from in the tree.

Ataru and Lum look up into the tree. There they see Nassur
and Ten-chan sitting on one of the branches. "Nassur-chan?!!
Ten-chan?!!" Lum says with surprise. "What's the meaning of this?!!"

"Surely, you haven't forgotten that a warrior must be ready to
fight at a moment's notice?" Nassur asks. "I just wanted to see if
living on Earth had made you soft."

"I'm not soft!" Lum declares. "We missed you two at
breakfast! Where were you?"

Ten-chan hovers in front of Lum's face. "Nassur-chan was just
teaching me how to aim better with my flame breath."

"Thanks a lot, Nassur!" Ataru sighs.

"He's a quick study," Nassur quips. "Like his cousin."

Lum blushes. "Flatterer!" she yells to him then smiles
devilishly, "But, since we're playing this game, it's my turn."

Lum uses her lightning to zap the branch Nassur sits on until
it breaks. Nassur falls to the ground but angles his body so he lands
on his feet as softly as a gymnast. Unfortunately, he forgot about
the branch. It smashes on his head, knocking him out! "So much for
the tutor," Ataru sighs.

"Oh, no!!!" Lum gasps. "What have I done?!! Let's get him to
the nurse's station fast!!!"

"Nurse's station?" Ataru says with surprise. "That

Ataru howls like a wolf. "Darling!" Lum looks defensive.
"This isn't the time for your illness to occur!!"

Ataru stops being a wolf and yells into the school. "Hey,
everybody!" he screams at the top of his lungs. "Nassur needs to go
to the nurse's station! We need some help to get him there!"

Suddenly, Mendou, Megane and Shinobu appear out of nowhere.
"Is this true?" Mendou asks. "Does Nassur really need the school

"I hope he'll be all right!" Shinobu frets. "I can't bear to
see him in pain."

"Don't worry, Shinobu," Megane pledges. "Sakura-sensei will
take care of Nassur."

With the speed and grace of a flying tank, the four teens and
Oni child rush the unconscious Nassur to the nurse's station. As
always, Sakura is on duty. "What is this?" the young nurse says as
they burst in.

"Nassur hit his head on the ground," Lum tearfully says. "You
must help him!"

"Let's see!" Sakura motions the others to put Nassur on the
nearby cot.

Everyone notices Sakura is dressed in her usual tight,
low-cut, purple dress and white lab coat. While she is bending over
to look at the bump on Nassur's head, she is giving everyone a nice
look at her backside. "That's quite a bump!" Sakura says. "It's
quite large and round."

"Not from here it's not," Ataru blurts out.

Sakura clobbers all three guys with her spirit sensor! "Can't
you stop it with the sexist comments?!!" she screams.

Suddenly, Nassur regains consciousness. "What hit me?" he

"That tree branch," Lum says nervously.

"I should've know better than to let my guard down around
you," Nassur says. Nassur then looks at Sakura. "Who are you?"

"I'm Sakura," the nurse declares. "I am what passes for a
nurse in this looneybin!"

"Oh, that's right," Nassur says. "Lum told me about you in
her letters to me. The incompetent Shinto priestess."

Sakura looks insulted. "What?!!" she looks angrily at Lum.

"I was only joking," Lum says nervously.

"It's the truth," a scary voice of an old man says. Suddenly,
Cherry appears in front of them! "Sorry to keep you waiting!" the old
monk says.

"What is this?" Nassur points to Cherry.

"This is Cherry," Ataru sighs. "He's a gluttonous Buddhist

"I see!" Nassur says. "I've seen hundreds of lifeforms but
never one exactly like him! What is it?"

"That's what we keep asking ourselves," Ataru sighs.

Cherry points to the group, grimaces angrily. "Beware this
woman!" he points to his niece. "She is a tanuki in human's

Sakura looks insulted. "What's that supposed to mean?" she

"What's a 'tanuki?'" Nassur asks.

Lum tries to answer but is shoved out of the way by Shinobu.
"It's a type of raccoon who can disguise itself to trick people."

"Why'd you push me for?" Lum growls at Shinobu.

"I was only answering Nassur-kun's question!" Shinobu says.

"Don't you have school?" Sakura grumbles to everyone.

"That's right," Megane sighs. "Let's go."

The teens leave the nurse's station. Nassur remains with
Ten-chan. "I'll stay here with Nassur-chan, Sakura-onee-chan!" the
young Oni announces.

"Annoying Oni brat!" Sakura scolds the young Oni to his
surprise. "As long as you behave, you can stay! Misbehave and I'll
throw you out!!"

"R-right," Ten-chan says, shocked to tears.

Sakura stomps off into the office part of the nurse's station
while Nassur turns to Ten-chan. "That's strange," Nassur whispers to
the young Oni. "Lum said you and Sakura are friends."

"We are," Ten-chan says weakly.

"What Sakura said didn't seem too friendly to me," Nassur

"I know," Ten-chan sighs. "She's usually not like this."

* * *

Later that day, everyone is eating lunch in the school
classroom. Nassur, recovered from his bump, and Ten-chan are there.
Nassur soon has the attention of Shinobu. "Would you like to share
some of my lunch, Nassur-kun?" Shinobu sweetly smiles.

"Oh, sure," Nassur helps himself to a part of a sandwich.

"Well, Nassur-chan seems to be okay," Lum says watching the
pair eat together. "That was scary."

"What's with Shinobu?" Ataru asks. "She's totally smitten
with Nassur."

Lum observes the lovesick look on Shinobu's face from afar.
She then notices Nassur does not have the same look on his face.
"It's okay, Darling," Lum turns back to him. "Nassur hasn't
recognized her."

Ataru faints! "*Recognized*?!" he gasps, nearly choking on
his rice. "What's that?"

"Nassur's people recognize potential mates," Lum explains.
"As long as the person is of the opposite sex and reasonably humanoid,
it'll work. Once it occurs, there's little anyone can to about it."

"But that's genetic slavery!!" Ataru declares aloud. "To
chose someone with your glands is wrong!"

Everyone in the class looks at Ataru strangely. They soon
begin to mutter amongst themselves things about Ataru being sick or
not believing what Ataru has said. Even Lum is a little surprised by
what he had said. "Somehow it doesn't sound right coming from you."

"I *never* choose a girl because of my glands!" he declares.

The door to the classroom whips open. Everyone sees Lan
standing there. She glows with a fire Lum has only seen when the
red-haired girl is very angry. "Nassur!" she yells, baring her fangs.

"Lan!" Nassur gives her a cold stare.

"What's this?" Ataru asks Lum.

Lum looks at Ataru nervously. "Nassur and Lan don't get
along, Darling. She tried to suck Nassur's youth but couldn't.
Nassur's too long-lived. Since then, neither trust each other."

"I smelled you were here!" Lan stomps towards Nassur.

The other students cower in fear. Nassur looks at her coolly.
"So, the youth-sucker managed to get to Earth. What happened? Run
out of food for Rei...or did Koosei Ryooki finally kill the creep?!"
he says in an icy voice.

Lan walks right up to Nassur. "Nassur!" she growls...then she
hugs him! "Hold me!"

Everyone faints! Nassur looks surprised. "*This* is hatred?"
Ataru asks Lum.

"This isn't right," Lum's eyes turn small.

"Lan, what the..." Nassur tried to stammer.

"You never told me you were coming to visit," Lan coos in her
cutest voice. "And all the times we spent together, doesn't that
count for anything?"

Shinobu breaks a desk in two with her bare hands! "What is
this?!! Nassur-kun can't be in love with you!!!"

"I'm not!" Nassur retorts. "Something's wrong here! Lan and
I are bitter enemies."

"Define bitter," Shinobu notices Lan holding one of Nassur's
arms close to her face.

"Oh, your touch makes my skin tingle," the red-haired alien

Ataru and Lum appear beside Lan. "Lan, since when do you like
Nassur?" Lum asks.

Lan turns to her childhood friend, looking at her with girlie
eyes. "I've always dreamt I would marry Nassur-chan and raise a
family with him," she declares in such a sweet voice, it nauseates

Lum and Nassur look surprised. "What's this?" they say

"Lum, psi-link," Nassur orders. Lum, I thought Lan had the
hots for Rei!

She does, Lum answers, ...or did when I last saw her.

What changed her mind?

Meanwhile, everyone notices Shinobu is literally burning with
anger. "I'll kill that bitch!" she growls, now lifting the teacher's

Ataru appears between Shinobu and Lan to stop his former
girlfriend from clobbering the red-haired alien. "Hold it, Shinobu,"
Ataru pleads. "Let me talk to her."

Shinobu pauses a minute. Ataru turns to Lan, takes her hand,
and looks into her eyes. "Lan, listen to me...there's a few things
you must know about Nassur."

"What, Darling?" Lan says.

"Nassur's a killer," Ataru says. "A heartless, cold-blooded

Ataru gets clobbered by the teacher's desk thrown by Shinobu!
"I won't forgive your saying that!"

Then Cherry appears in front of Ataru's face! "It's fate!"
the old monk says, nearly scaring everyone to death.

"Cherry!!" Mendou snaps. "What are you doing here?!!"

"I am here to warn you all!" Cherry declares. "What you see
here is not real."

Suddenly the door swishes open and Sakura enters. "Enough!"
she grabs the old monk by the robe. "You obviously have gone senile.
I shall put you some place where you can't pester us!"

Sakura drags Cherry out of the room. Everyone looks at each
other. "What does Cherry mean by that?" Megane asks.

"Don't let her take me back to the tent!" Cherry pleads as he
is dragged away. "She is not whom she says she is! None of this is

"Shut up!" Sakura growls.

"First, Sakura acts weird," Lum says, "...now Lan. What's
going on?"

"I don't know," Nassur muses. "But I think it has something
to do with the Tarouzakura's destruction. Mendou, is it all right if
I search around the remains of that tree of yours?"

"No problem," Mendou says. "Anything for a friend of

"Sucking up again, Mendou?" Ataru hums.

Mendou pulls out his katana. Ataru blocks it between his
hands! "I haven't forgotten what you've done last night, Moroboshi,"
he growls. "And I still am going to make two of you!"

* * *

Later that day, Nassur, Lum and the others gather by the
crater which was once the Tarouzakura. Everyone except Ataru waits
nervously for news while Nassur checks the debris with a tricorder.
Ataru is busy reading a comic book and ignoring everyone else. "I was
right," Nassur announces. "There's something about this wood that's

"What do you mean?" Mendou asks.

"The wood is emitting some sort of radiation," Nassur reports.
"A type of radiation my tricorder has never seen before. It seems to
be made up of tachytron particles...but I've never seen them used this
way before."

"Is it dangerous?" Shinobu asks fearfully.

"Tachytron particles are harmless to living tissues, even in
large qualities," Nassur nods in reassurance. "But they can disrupt
some electronic fields. Usually, they abound naturally in space, but
this is the first time I've seen such a deposit on a planet with an
atmosphere. Somehow, someone used them in your tree."

"But, who?" Lum muses. "No known space-faring nation can use
tachytron particles in their technology."

"This sound a little too 'trekkie' for my tastes," Ataru
yawns. "Just because a few things are different now, doesn't mean the
whole world is in trouble. You guys are overreacting."

Mendou swings his katana at Ataru, whom catches it between his
hands. "This is serious, you idiot!" the rich snob growls.
"Lum-san's tutor thinks there's something wrong somewhere and a great
evil has been set loose. When are you going to understand that?"

"What great evil?" Ataru hums.

Nassur turns to Mendou. "Mendou, what's the story behind this
place?" he asks.

"Well," Mend muses, "...it's an old legend my grandfather
told me. We have it written down somewhere in the mansion."

"Let's go read it," Nassur says.

As they leave for the mansion, a tall female figure with long
black hair and dressed in robes is watching them nearby. "It seems
they are beginning to suspect," she hums. "My ruse must have flaws.
But those touched by the Agents of Order must be destroyed so we
Agents of Chaos can survive."

* * *

Later at the Mendou mansion, everyone sits in the huge living
room together. Nassur is reading a book entitled HOUSE OF MENDOU
LEGENDS AND MYTHS. "Interesting story," Nassur comments while

"It was even weirder when we were making a movie based on
that," Lum sighs.

Nassur finds out centuries ago, a young samurai escaped an
attack by robbers in a forest. He made his way to a village of
tanuki. After being raised back to health by the raccoon dogs, the
samurai found a huge old cherry tree in the centre of the village that
was used to keep evil spirits at bay. These same spirits later
tricked the samurai into cutting down the tree with a salty axe. Once
free, the evil spirits roamed the village at will bringing much
sadness and hardship to its people. The samurai went on a ten day
quest to bring the Devil Princess to the village to cast out the
spirits once again. The quest was successful and the spirits were
cast out by the Devil Princess. The village was saved and the samurai
planted seeds for an new cherry tree which grew into the first

Mendou enters carrying a bowlful of cherries. "It's strange,"
he places the bowl on a nearby table, "...but none of my servants are

"Ah," Ataru snorts. "They probably got tired being ordered
around by snobs like you!"

Mendou gives Ataru a cold glance. Shinobu looks at the
cherries with confusion. "Mendou-san, where did you get these
cherries when all the trees around here are still in blossom?"

"I found them in cold storage," Mendou replies. "I believe
they're what remains from the Tarouzakura's final crop."

"Interesting," Nassur scans the cherries with his tricorder.
"They seem to be filled with the same type of radiation as the tree."

"Are they safe to eat?" Megane asks anxiously.

"Should be," Nassur picks up one for a closer inspection.
"Tachytron radiation doesn't spoil food."

Nassur prepares to eat the cherry but before he can, a
snake-like rope whacks it out of his hand. Everyone turns with
surprise to the source of the rope. It is Sakura, now dressed in her
Shinto priestess robes. "Don't eat these cherries!" she demands,
rolling up her rope.

"Sakura?!!" everyone says with surprise. "What's going on?!!"

Sakura walks up to the others. "I sense there is something
evil inside this fruit," she sits as far away from the cherries as

"Sakura-onee-chan," Ten-chan asks. "What could be wrong?"

"Stop being such a brat!" Sakura growls at the young Oni.

Nassur and Lum look suspicious. "I have gotten rid of
Cherry!" Sakura says.

All the Terran characters look surprised. "You did?" Ataru
says happily. "You mean that old monk won't pester us any more?"

Sakura looks at Ataru. "Do you have a problem with your
hearing?" she says coldly.

"Of course not!" Ataru says.

"Cherry is gone?" Mendou muses.

"Sakura got rid of the old fool?" Megane says. "Do you know
what it means?"

Party favours are broken out along with congratulation
banners! "***PARTY TIME!!!!!!***" they yell in unison.

Lum, Nassur psi-links to his student, ...I thought you
said Cherry and Sakura were family.

They are, Lum replies. They fight, but neither one
wants the other dead.

Nassur turns to Sakura. "I didn't know Terrans condoned
murder inside their family units."

Sakura looks nervous. Everyone else stops celebrating. "What
do you mean?" Megane asks.

Nassur stands up. "Why don't you want us to eat the cherries,
Sakura?" he then dangles a couple of them in front of her.

"W-why, they're poisoned," she stammers, "...with radiation."

"What kind of radiation?" Nassur asks.

"Tachytron radiation," she answers. "It's very dangerous to
people. Everyone knows that!"

"I didn't know that Terrans knew anything about tachytron

"I-it's a hobby of mine."

"Strange hobby," Ataru snorts.

Nassur turns away. "I see," he sits down. "Then I must
conclude there's someone here in this room who's an enemy to the rest
of us."

"What?" asks Shinobu. "Who?"

"The most obvious," Nassur points to Sakura. "Her!"

Everyone except for Lum faints! "***SAKURA?!?!?!***"

"Are you out of your mind?" Ataru grabs Sakura. "Sakura is a
poor defenceless young woman!"

Sakura punches him hard enough to send him across the room!
"Don't touch me there!"

"Let me give you a theory," Nassur begins. "That exploding
tree was not only a call for help, but a means of transportation."

The others look at Nassur blankly. "Transportation?" Shinobu
hums. "Where to?"

"To a pocket universe which exists inside the tree," Nassur
answers. "I'm not actually sure what's going on in this universe, but
I know it's Sakura's an evil spirit while Cherry is a good spirit."

"That's a change of conventions," Megane comments.

"But if it's true," Shinobu frets, "...why are *we* here?"

"Why else," Nassur answers. "To rescue the good spirit."

Everyone thinks of what Nassur has proposed silently.
Ten-chan turns to Sakura with disbelief. "Sakura-onee-chan, all of
this isn't true, is it?"

Sakura looks at Ten-chan with an uncharacteristic cruelty in
her eyes. "Of course, it's true!" her voice echoes hoarsely. "Your
friend is correct! Now that you know this isn't real, I'll have to
kill you all."

Suddenly, the whole world seems to fade into darkness with a
wave of the false Sakura's hands. "Prepare yourself!" she thunders.

"Wait!" Nassur asks. "Why were we brought here in the first

"What business is it of yours?" Sakura asks.

"If we die without knowing why we're dying," Nassur muses,
"...we'll lose our way to Heaven."

"We will?" Shinobu asks Nassur.

Nassur taps her ribs with his elbow. "Of course."

"Right!" Shinobu rubs her ribs.

"Well, it won't hurt!" Sakura smiles. "I was once part of the
creature you know as Memory."

"Memory?" Lum gasps. "But that thing was only a baby."

"We were," Sakura explains, "...but when the second
Tarouzakura was created out of the ashes of the old, the evil spirits,
instead of being sent away were forced in with us. We broke into two
entities. One Light, one Dark, both enemies. We soon fought each
other until the Tarouzakura was destroyed. When that occurred I was

"So, why are we here?" Nassur asks.

"The Light Memory draws its strength from that made of the
Agents of Order, while I draw my strength from the Agents of Chaos.
You all have been touched by the Agents of Order. Especially you!"
Sakura points at Ataru.

"Me?!" Ataru looks surprised.

"Yes," Sakura growls. "You have been the most affected by the
Agents of Order. Therefore, you all must be destroyed!"

"How are you going to destroy us?" Megane asks.

"With your own desires!" Sakura pointing to the be-speckled

* * *

Suddenly, Megane finds himself in his bedroom in bed. "Where
am I?"

Sitting up he notices nothing different in his room. His
walls are covered with many pictures of Lum. A suit of battle armour
stands in one corner like a samurai's armour waiting to be used at a
moment's notice. Models from various science fiction shows hang from
the ceiling. A huge bookcase full of thick hardcovered books stands
on one wall. "I'm home."

"Darling, you up yet?" a voice which sounds like Lum's says
from behind the door.

"Lum-san?" Megane gasps.

The door swings open and there is Lum, as beautiful as always,
dressed in a very sexy, almost see-through, tiger-stripped teddy.
"Oh, you're up!" Lum jumps on his bed to hug him tightly.

Megane faints! "I live with Lum-san?!"

"Of course, I do!" Lum giggles cutely. "We're married to each

"We are?!" Megane yelps in surprise.

"*Datcha,*" Lum says seductively. "And now it's time for
breakfast! Today's breakfast is me!"

Lum begins to remove her teddy to the utter shock and surprise
of Megane...

* * *

To everyone else, he just stands there in a catatonic state.
"Megane?!!" Shinobu asks the unresponsive teen. "What's wrong?!!
Snap out of it!!!"

"What have you done to him?" Lum growls, ready to throw a
lightning bolt.

"I've given him his fantasy," Sakura says. "Once all of you
are the same way, I'll kill you all!"

Sakura waves her arms. "Don't look at her!" Nassur turns

Everyone tries not to look at her. Unfortunately, Mendou does
not look away in time and stands enthralled...

* * *

In his fantasy, Mendou dreams he is the Emperor of Japan and
Lum is his Empress. Ataru is just a lowly servant.

* * *

"She's got Mendou!" Ten-chan says.

"We've got to find a way to stop her!" Nassur says.

"But how?" Lum asks.

"Let them be!" Ataru says. "We could do without those two

Before Ataru can continue, he looks at Sakura lecherously.
His mistake.

* * *

In his fantasy, Ataru has a harem that is so large it seems to
be an entire planet's population. Among the girls are Lum, Lan,
Shinobu, Asuka, Benten, Elle, Kurama, Sakura, Oyuki and Ryuunosuke.
Of course, the guards are Mendou, Tobimaro, Megane and the bodyguards.

* * *

"Oh, no!" Lum says seeing her now-catatonic would-be fiance.
"Darling's taken over as well!"

"Who's next?" Shinobu says...then accidently glimpses at

* * *

Shinobu's fantasy is a simple one; being happily married to
Nassur and living an average suburban life on Earth. They live in a
normal working-class house with two young children, a boy and a girl.
Shinobu is a housewife, while Nassur is a saririman.

* * *

"Shinobu's down, too!" Nassur gasps.

"Those minds are so weak," Sakura gloats, "...it's almost a
crime to seduce them!"

"Seduce this!" Ten-chan breathes flame at her!

"Ten-chan, no!" Nassur warns the little Oni too late.

Before Ten-chan's flame can go anywhere, he too falls...

* * *

His fantasy is to be a child forever. Spending his time
playing with other children his own age.

* * *

Lum looks at her little cousin standing there catatonic.
"We're the only one's left now!"

"I see," Nassur says. "There's only one way, we must find a
way to beat this thing *without* looking at it!"

"But how?"

"I don't know."

"Die!" Sakura hurls some sort of bluish energy blast at the
two remaining mortals.

Nassur and Lum leap out of the way while trying not to look at
Sakura. *There must be a way to stop this thing*, the Vosians hisses.

"Nassur," Lum evades an energy blast. "What about a
two-pronged attack?"

"It might be the only way!" Nassur agrees. "But we must do it
with your eyes closed."

"But that's impossible!" Lum states.

"No, it's not," Nassur says. "We'll hone in on her
psychically using my tracking powers and our *pe'cha* bond with each

"Will it work?" Lum asks nervously.

"I don't know!"

Nassur and Lum turn to Sakura with their eyes closed.
Nassur's powers easily find Sakura. Even with his eyes closed, Sakura
glows like a sparkler at a summer's night festival. Lum on the other
hand is totally blind.

*Pe'cha* is a bond Vosians have with those they consider their
closest allies. It is more empathic than psychic, with a Vosian
having a unlimited number of *pe'cha*. It is one of the few Vosian
mental gifts which can be transferred to anyone or anything not
Vosian. Even animals can be *pe'cha*.

*Pe'cha* is of course a lot different than recognition.
Recognition is when a Vosian chooses a life-mate. As long as the
person of desire is reasonably humanoid, Vosians can recognize them.
But, recognition is not empathic or psychic in any way, but can be as
destructive nevertheless. It is also foolproof, with few marriages on
Vos ending in divorce and very few cases of spousal abuse.

"Got her!" Nassur declares. "Let's go!"

The two aliens charge at Sakura, who with a wave of her hand
sends them both to the ground with an energy blast. "Pathetic!" she
walks up to Lum.

Lum tries to stand up but in doing so opens her eyes. "I must
see where I am!" she declares.

"Go ahead!" Sakura appears in front of her.

Lum did not have a chance.

* * *

In Lum's fantasy, she is happily married to Ataru with
children and a nice house. Ataru is working in a nice job and all is

* * *

"Lum!" Nassur says with resignation.

"Only one left!" Sakura turns towards him.

Nassur closes his eyes immediately. "Closing your eyes won't
stop me now!" Sakura declares, eyes glowing eerily.

Nassur realizes too late Sakura is attacking him through the
very bond he holds with Lum...

* * *

In his mind, Nassur finds himself in an easy chair in a
well-furnished living room. "*Ja-chan! Ja-chan!*" a couple of little
voices of children call to him.

Nassur turns and sees two cute little Vosian children, a
brown-haired boy and a blonde-haired girl, entering the room happily.
They are both about early school age as they rush up to them and grab
his hands. "What's this?" he asks them.

"*Jo-chan* says supper's ready!" one of the kids giggles.

"Time to eat!" the other adds. "We're having glugbeast stew
tonight, *Ja-chan*!"

Nassur allows the children to stand him to his feet and direct
him to the dining room. "Glugbeast stew," Nassur says. "It's one of
your father's favourites."

In the grandly designed dining room, Nassur sees the table set
for four people. As he goes to sit down, a beautiful young
blonde-haired Vosian woman enters carrying a tray of food. She is
dressed in an elegant red and black dress. Nassur recognizes her
immediately. "Cinba...?" he thinks aloud.

"Oh, Natsu-chan," Cinba says cheerfully as she sets the tray
down on the middle of the table. "I see Aki-chan and Te-chan got you
to the table before dinner got cold this time."

Akisur and Tenba take their places at the table with the
dutiful anxiousness little children have at that age. Nassur just
stands there. "Cinba?" he asks quietly. "Aren't you dead?"

Cinba looks at Nassur strangely. "Now that's a strange
question to ask," she comments. "Do I look dead to you? Now come and

Cinba sits down and starts dishing out dinner to her children.
Nassur stands there unsure of what to do next. *If this is my
fantasy*, he thinks, *...it's impossible. Cinba is dead and buried.*

"Of course, she is," an old voice says.

Nassur looks down to see Cherry looking at him. "Cherry?" he
asks the old monk. "But how...?"

Cinba looks horrorstruck by the presence of Cherry. "What is
that?" Cinba becomes protective of her children. "A soul-destroyer?!"

"You see him?" Nassur asks.

"I am in contact with you," the old monk says. "I have taken
this form because it reflected more who I am. Just as the darkside of
my persona has taken the opposite, Sakura."

"I see," Nassur says. "Why are you here?"

"To help you help yourself," Cherry answers. "Of all those
who are in the thrall of the darkside of my being, only you have a
fantasy that cannot be fulfilled."

"True," Nassur reluctantly agrees. "But what can I do?"

Cherry gives him seven cherries. "The answer lies in these
cherries," the old monk continues. "I originally snuck them to you
when the Darkside stopped you. They would have made you immune to her

"I see," Nassur takes the cherries and looking at them

He then prepares to eat one. "Please, Nassur," Cinba pleads.
"Don't leave us! Stay and be happy with your fantasy. I may not be
the real Cinba, but I can become close to her as possible."

"To live in such a fantasy would be a hell for me," Nassur
states. "I'm sorry."

Nassur eats the cherry and the fantasy disappears...

* * *

Nassur appears and sees that he and the others are laying down
as if they are going to be sacrificed by the Dark Memory, still in the
shape of Sakura. "I am ready," Sakura chants. "Agents of Chaos!
Destroy these Agents of Order!"

Nassur answers her plea with a kick to her stomach. "Sorry,"
he quips. "I don't plan to die today!"

Sakura tumbles to the ground then stands up. "You rejected
your own fantasy?!" she says with surprise. "Impossible!"

"I had help!" Nassur answers. "Now excuse me!"

Nassur shoves a cherry into Lum's mouth and moves her mouth to
chew it. "Time to come back to reality, Lum-chan!" he says.

"No!" Sakura screams. "I won't let you!"

Sakura fires an energy bolt which has no effect on either Lum
or Nassur. Lum wakes up. "Nassur-chan," she blinks with surprise.
"What happened?"

Nassur hands her some of the remaining cherries he has. "I'll
explain later," he says. "Feed one of these to the others. Then,
we'll be safe."

"*Datcha!*" Lum says taking some of the cherries and shoving
one into Ataru's mouth.

While that happens, Nassur frees Shinobu with a cherry, then
Mendou. Lum frees Ten-chan and Megane. All of them look surprised
and a little disappointed to be freed from their fantasies. "I had a
whole planet full of girls!" Ataru boasts, "...and Lum had to break it

"Did you want to die?" Lum says coldly.

"At least I would've died happy!" Ataru sighs.

Enough!" Sakura yells. "You may be immune now to my fantasy
casting powers, but I have other ways to kill you!"

Sakura tries an even stronger energy bolt. But, the bolt runs
into something a lot stronger than it...the Light Memory in the guise
of Cherry! "I think not!" Cherry says.

"Cherry?" Ataru gasps. "We're being saved by that old nut?"

"That's the good side of Memory," Nassur explains.

"That repulsive thing?" Ataru gasps. "How come the bad side
looks like Sakura?"

"A change of conventions, I guess," Lum shrugs.

"I need your help," Cherry explains. "With my powers alone, I
am barely a match for the dark side of my being and the Agents of
Chaos that assist it. With your help, we shall exceed even their

"If we don't get ourselves killed, too," Megane says.

Sakura motions to the skies. "Agents of Chaos, unite with
me!" she growls.

"Agents of Order," Cherry motions. "Join with me!"

Sakura fires a huge bolt of energy at the group of eight
beings. Without any argument, they all take hands. In doing so, they
form a huge energy bolt of their own and throw it at Sakura. The
beams strike each other somewhere in the middle...and reality shakes!

In our dimension, still watching are Lum and the others. They
seem like statues as they look at the starless sky. The whole sky
shatters like glass into fragments. In the other dimension, Sakura is
burned into nothingness and the whole reality is destroyed...

* * *

When the smoke clears everyone awakens in the Mendou mansion's
cherry orchard. It is the night of the day the Tarouzakura was
destroyed. Everyone stands up to check themselves for injuries.
"We're back?" Ten-chan looks confused. "But how?"

"We're back on the same day we left," Shinobu reports looking
at her watch. "Almost the same time."

"So we are," Mendou confirms by looking at his own watch.
"But we were there for at least a day."

"Don't look at me," Nassur says. "Dimensional hopping is not
my speciality."

"Mine neither," Lum adds.

"So, what happened?" Megane asks.

"Where're those Memory creatures?" Ataru asks.

"It's hard to say," Nassur muses.

"What do you mean?" Ataru asks.

"Did any of this really happen," he adds, "...or did we
*think* it happened."

"Who knows," Shinobu sighs. "Let's just go home."

"Yeah, everything's back to normal!" Ataru declares.

"Is it?" Mendou pulls out his katana.

Ataru blocks it. "What about the damage you did to the
Tarouzakura?" Mendou growls.

"What damage?" Ataru asks.

"That damage," Ten-chan points out.

Ataru notices that despite what happened, there is still one
fact remaining: the Tarouzakura is still destroyed. "Well," he says
weakly, "...maybe you can grow another?"

"Maybe we will," Mendou hums, "...but, we'll use **your** body
as fertilizer for it!"

Mendou begins to chase Ataru all over the mansion's grounds.
Everyone else just sighs. "There they go again," Megane sighs.

"See, Nassur-chan," Lum grins. "Shutaro and Darling love to
play with each other!"

"I don't think that's playing," Nassur notices Mendou is
getting rather close to cutting off Ataru's head with his katana.
*And if Lum doesn't watch it, she'll end up losing him for making
mistakes like that...!* he mentally adds, looking at his student...

...but that...is another story.

* * *

Unknown to all at the Mendou estate, Light Memory, still in
the shape of Cherry, watches. "They don't know that this is only one
battle in an on-going war," the old monk-spirit intones. "When next
we fight, the stakes will be higher!"

*** The End ***

**** **** ****
NEXT STORY - She's back! Lum's ultimate rival for Ataru's love is on
her way back to Earth, and this time, nothing will stop her from
obtaining her "Honey's" hand in marriage...or is there? Come back
very soon for the third installment of "Urusei Yatsura - The Senior
Year," "Incredible Shrunken Lum!"
**** **** ****