Death By Chicken

by OutCast Shadow's Kitsune

Summary: You know how in Ocarina of time you get to play with the Cuccos in Kakariko Village? Find out what happens when one girl's (boy cuz in Zelda you play Link) crazy antics cause a stir in the fine-feathered-friends. One-Shot.

It was a warm day everywhere. The Hyrulian Fields were calm, well, until night dawned and the skeletons came out. But it was different, now. It was daytime.

Link made his way to Kakariko Village, in order to find new excitement on the calm day.

When Link entered the gate, he didn't know what came over him...


A solitary Cucco stood in the middle of his path. He stared at it, and it stared at him...for a long time.

Suddenly, Link smiled. He calmly began to walk toward it. It didn't move. Link began to pick up the pace, steadily, until he was a full run at the chicken.

The Cucco gave a frightened cry and began fluttering away. Link chased the chicken until, finally, he caught it. Link held it above his head in triumph.

"I wonder what I can do now?" Link said to himself. Suddenly, an idea struck him.


He began running around in various directions, and shapes, catching everyone's attention. The chicken he held above his head was completely freaking out, feathers flying everywhere. Surprisingly, the chicken didn't go bald.

Link ran up to one guy, know to the town as Skippy, because of his constant girly skipping around the town. "Look, Skippy, I got a chicken!" And Link ran off. Skippy stared, confused, then shrugged and continued on his way.

Throughout this day, the most often said thing you'd hear was, "Look, Mister, I got a chicken!" "Look, people, I caught a chicken!" "Will you marry me if I gave you this chicken?" and such other things.

Finally, tired out and exhausted from running around and carrying the bird, Link decided to put it in it's proper place.

Inside the well.

Link threw the Cucco into the well and walked away, whistling a soft tune.

Meanwhile, inside the well, the Cucco was trying it's best to cry for help. No one came and there was one less Cucco in the least, that's what everyone thought because no one thought to look in the well because they have no brains.

A day later, Link went up Zora River, after dodging the skeleton things that came out at night. You see, the only way to properly escape a skeleton is to jump in a river. Why? Because they will disappear in a puff of smoke and die if they go in with you. That or they will not think to look in the river, because they're stupid.

So, Link traveled up the river and finally made it to shore. Then, a Cucco crowed.

A Cucco!

Link looked ahead of him and saw the damned bird that made his arms tired the day before, or a relative of said bird. He quietly snuck up on it, careful not to scare it...

Okay, fine, you caught me! He charged in, sword ready and crying a victorious battle cry, happy! The Cucco looked up in surprise and began trying to to run away, but it was no use. Link began chopping the bird, and it began to cry loudly.

After about seven chops, the bird couldn't take it anymore. It arched it's head and crowed loudly to the sky. Link looked at the bird in surprise, and suddenly, many other cries were heard. All Cucco crows!

Suddenly, Link was being bombarded by many, many chickens, all pecking at him and trying to kill him. Link gave a frightened cry and began to run away, but still the Cuccos followed him. They dove at him with their beaks. A couple hit him, and that was enough to drive him into the river, where he died because of loss of blood, bad chicken bites, and perhaps even rabies if rabies existed in those days.

So, in the end, the injured Cucco was victorious, flew over to Kakariko Village with the other Cuccos, found their friend in the well, and laid seige on Kakariko Village. Eventually, they laid seige upon Hyrule and overthrew King Hyrule. So, the Cuccos live happily ever after.

The End.