You've got to be mental!

Chapter One: Blueberry Pie!


Dressed in green-a

Went upstairs to kiss the Dean-a


Kissed a kitty

How many sessions

Did she spend

In therapy?




The lovely ladies of the clubhouse were enjoying a lovely game of lovely double dutch. Unfortunately, after three, Penelope stumbled.

"Good game, Peo!" Pashmina praised her.

"My turn!" Sandy yelled. Bijou and Penelope took the ropes and Pashmina and Pepper stood by, ready to chant.


Dressed in blue-ooo

Went to the station to

Catch a choo-choo

Nabbed the top bunk

In the bottom was a skunk

How many times did she blow her chunks?




Sandy got up to three thousand nine hundred twenty one when finally, she collapsed.

"Need… food!" whispered Sandy, lying on the floor.

"Ya'll have come to the right place!" Dexter said from nowhere. "Especially you, my little lotus flower." He muttered to Pashmina, patting her on the shoulder. Pashmina avoided his eyes, but allowed herself to be scooted into the kitchen. A buffet of bright colored food met their eyes. Unfortunately, the colors seemed to be to hide the hideous taste. Pepper bit into a sunny orange cake and spat it out soon afterwards.

"EWWWW!" she squealed. Dexter started to sweat.

"Well, everyone has different tastes, I guess." He said, turning puce. "Pashmina, wouldn't you like to sample a seed puff?" He held out a hot pink puff of what looked like half a dead beetle.

"Oh, err, um, I'm not really hungry, thanks anyway, Howdy." She responded.

"Are you at least hungry enough to try a slice of my delicious pie?" Dexter called from the kitchen table. "Blueberry, cherry, take your pick!" Dexter smirked as the girls sped over to his table.

"Did you say pie?" Oxnard and the boys scurried into the room and started to devour the pie. Howdy looked livid.

KNOCK! KNOCK! A large sound was heard from the door. Maxwell went to answer the door and came back with a brown lump on his shoulders. The lump yelled "pie!" and leaped off Maxwell's shoulders and onto Boss's lap.

"Maxwell, your growth is eating my pie!" Boss yelled.

"What is that?" Pashmina squealed, pointing at the bazaar brown ham, now covered in pumpkin pie.

"He says his name's Pretzel. He just jumped onto my back and he won't leave." Maxwell explained.

"He probably stopped by for a bite to eat." Hamtaro exclaimed. "While he's here, we should feed him!"

"Hey, little guy!" Pepper said to Pretzel. "What kind of pie do you like?"

"I like blueberry pie." Pretzel said in a demented voice. Oxnard went to fetch a slice.

"Why you get blueberry pie? I like cherry pie!" Pretzel yelled, tossing the pie at the wall where the plate shattered.

"That's no way to act!" Dexter said to the guest.

"Neither is this!" Pretzel screamed, flinging himself onto Stan's back.

"Get him off me!" Stan yelled, attempting to shake him off. Pretzel hopped off right into the blueberry pie.

"I like blueberry pie!" Pretzel exclaimed, stuffing as much pie as humanly possible into his mouth.

"THAT'S IT!" Cappy screamed, grabbing Pretzel and pulling him to the door.

"I like cauliflower!" Pretzel said, cross-eyed, as he was shoved out the door. The doorbell rang in the next second.

"He's not leaving is he?" Sandy asked.

"I'm afraid not." Maxwell said, opening the door and letting Pretzel in again.

"He can sleep in my room." Panda volunteered.

The hams brought him over to Panda's room and shoved him into bed. Just to be safe, they stapled the sheets down.

"Yams, yams, yams!" Pretzel chanted as the hams snuck out the door.

"We will have to keep him here until we find his family." Maxwell announced. The hams sighed.

"Lemon, lemon, lemon!" The hams heard Pretzel yell from the room.

"Note to self" Panda whispered. "Get stronger staples." And he pelted after the others to finish their pie, with screams of "Ketchup, ketchup" in the background.