(To the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.")

Godspeed, thou sullen inspector,
Let nothing thee dismay,
Remember Jean broke a window
And stole some bread one day
To save his sister's child from hunger
And was shut away;
O, go chase him down and toss him in,
Toss him in,
O, go chase him down and toss him in!

From Toulon in the south of France
The prefect sent you forth,
And on into Montreuil-Sur-Mer
A town up in the north,
Where Madeleine embarrassed you
Suspicion came henceforth:

O, go chase him down and toss him in,
Toss him in,
O, go chase him down and toss him in!

"Javert" said Monsieur Madeleine,
"I think you're off your block;
Fantine is not your prisoner,
You'd best undo that lock.
You are an ass, you have no class,
You ought to wear a frock!"

O, go chase him down and toss him in,
Toss him in,
O, go chase him down and toss him in!

You flustered at those tidings,
And saw him lift a cart,
You wrote him up and sent it off
With true inspector's art,
And went to Paris straight away
To find you weren't too smart:

O, go chase him down and toss him in,
Toss him in!
O, go chase him down and toss him in!

But then to Arras he did come
And sang a guilty song.
You drooled, wrenched, and screamed with glee
You'd known it all along!
He broke a chair and mussed your hair
Because he was so strong:

Oh, go chase him down and toss him in,
Toss him in!
Oh, go chase him down and toss him in!

Now to this day you've hunted
And skulked and skulked and schemed,
With twisted ties like brotherhood
You long to see him creamed,
This guilty man who ain't half bad
As all that you have dreamed:

Oh, go chase him down and toss him in,
Toss him in!
Oh, go chase him down and toss him in!