Moony is here, and I am doomed.


The Top Ten Reasons Why I Am Doomed (Or, Why I Am A Fuckwit)

1. Moony takes five minute showers on the mornings he gets up earlier than me 'cos he doesn't want to use up all the hot water

2. Moony leaves notes for me on the fridge saying Prongs and Wormtail are coming over tonight, I'll grab the beers while I'm out

3. Moony living in the room next to mine is the most comforting thing now that we're out of school, and somehow entirely different from sharing a dorm

4. Moony always has a funny story to tell when we eat dinner together in the kitchen, and it doesn't matter that the china is mismatched and the wallpaper is peeling, because Moony is ace at cooking

5. Moony always makes sure my auror robes are clean when he knows I have to get up early for training

6. Moony gets our post every day and pays his half of the bills, preempting all my attempts to pay the full rent just this once, honestly

7. Moony folds the napkins before he puts them away, then blushes when he sees me staring, because Moony, we're bachelors not house elves!

8. Moony leaves his favorite books on the coffee table with devil muggle sticky paper saying things like you'd like this one, Sirius, there's a rampaging hippogriff in the first chapter

9. Moony offered to take me for a walk as Padfoot the day an article in the Daily Prophet was printed saying "unofficial sources" had reported an increase in Death Eater recruits

10. Moony always smiles when he says good morning and good night, even if it's bleary because he's half-asleep, and that's the part of my day I look forward to most.

... fuck.

What the hell is wrong with me? Remus has always been considerate and kind, and it's not like I never noticed at Hogwarts. I mean, obviously things are bound to be a bit different now that we're sharing a flat, but that doesn't explain why I suddenly start thinking about him all the time and turning down the other junior aurors when they ask me out for drinks because Moony's home. I can't be feeling this way, it makes no bloody sense. I never noticed how amber Remus's eyes are or how the corners of his mouth twitch when he's trying to hide a smile, or how he has never been beaten at arm wrestling ever even though he has no muscle definiton because he's such a skinny arse. And I certainly never noticed how nicely-shaped his skinny arse is, either.

... fuck.

I think I'll ask Hestia Jones out for a date tomorrow-- she seems a nice enough sort. I pulled a few girls at Hogwarts sixth year, so it's not like I don't remember how it's done.

Oh, Moony just walked in-- he bought more of that muggle whip-cream-in-a-can! Great, now he's almost certain to use it for dessert tomorrow...

... oh, fuck it. I'm for bed.