Bodies were moving in the twilight.
"Shuichi, Shuichi.." he whispered, his breath short and shallow.
Roaming hands stopped the following words, changing them into cries and moans, but the eyes still hungrily stared at the man beneath him.
That was not enough.
Captured in his arms, sealed with his body, he was still not his. How much harder and deeper had he to go to wipe off the previous tracks of fingertips, to renew the skin which had already tasted the caresses of other hands.
He couldn't help imagining for the upteenth time how Yuki closed Shuichi in his arms, as he was laying bared and willing, lips and hips parted, arms around the writer's neck.
Ryuichi ducked and claimed his lover's mouth, attacking his tongue and lips, then turning his attention to his slender neck, tracing wet, warm circles on it.
The skin seemed to pull him in, he savoured the mix of saliva, sweat, his cologne and his own unique scent. Soon he was almost biting the space just under Shuichi's chin as the pink-haired boy intertwined his fingers in Ryuichi's hair and moaned loudly.
That was the song he was not able to describe or vocalize yet. That never-ending pursue to catch something that was already in his hands. Maybe he was paranoid, maybe he was jealous, but in any case he could never get enough proves.
Shuichi was like a land that he had been exploring countless times but hasn't really conquered yet.
So he continued to search and dig, to roam and to listen. He needed to know what was hidden inside, he wanted to melt completely into Shuichi. He was aware it was slowly destroying both of them.
Ryuichi has always fallen easily into obsessions, but only two of them were like drugs, so addicting that he couldn't stop once he tried.
As for music, he eased that hunger by singing, giving in to the fever of stage and enthusiastic crowd. As for Shuichi, he didn't know how to sate it.
There were moments when he felt happy and simply watching TV together made him satisfied. Shuichi would smile at him and say that he loved him. A perfect little fairytale.
But he was constantly worried that Shu would leave him someday, just like he had left Eiri. He moved out, not because he couldn't stand Eiri's sadistic plays, but because those plays burned out the infatuation.
That's how he called it, infatuation.
Before, he had been calling it love. He was screaming it. That's why Ryuichi couldn't be sure that this time, Shuichi was really in love with him, even though he heard it coming from those pink, pink lips.
He was a man who loved with all his heart, all his time and all his money. It was hard to learn that his lover needed some space, some time alone. It was intoxicating and thus he wanted to share every minute with him.
Day by day, he was becoming more and more involved, and the barriers were gradually blurring. The borders between "his" and "mine", safety and isolation, sanity and insanity.
Ryuichi had never thought that "You're driving me crazy" saying could mean so much more.
One day, he thought, I will make a song about us; the best and the last one. I'm building it everyday, from the pieces of you and me combined together..
Just one song.
He started to bite the flesh before him.
I've never been fascinated by Ryuichi so much. Now I can't get enough of him, I still wonder what are his secrets, what he really intends to do. Damn, trying to understand him is hard. I wonder if Murakami-sensei understands him..
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