Better Life

Reverend Mother of St. Catherine's convent in London knelt slowly at her bedside to pray.

The arthritic muscles in her left leg ached as she lowered herself slowly down but she did and bowed her head over her clasped hands.

"Our Father who art in Heaven Hallowed by thy name. Thy Kingdom come thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil."

Her prayer over, she paused a minute before continuing. "God bless Mother and Father, Peter, Edmund and Lucy, Eustace, Caspian, Mr. Tumnus, Reepicheep, the Star and his daughter, Cor and Corin, Aravis, Hwin and Bree, the Beavers, the Draiads, the Nymphs, the Naiads, all the tree and river guardians and everyone in Narnia and Archenland and… dear Aslan, please bless me too!"

The woman who had once been known as Susan Pevensie let her head fall onto the coarse wool of her blankets, before slowly rising and sitting on them.

She always wondered why she thought of Narnia at this time every night. Always before bed she would remember the first time they had gone through the wardrobe and battled the White Witch. She remembered burying her fingers in Aslan's golden fur as she and Lucy had walked with him to the White Witch.

Tears came to her eyes as she thought of Aslan's giving himself up to prevent war in Narnia. The most special of her now few worldly possessions was a small painting she had made of the beautiful Lion.

It did not capture the brilliant shine of his golden fur nor the wisdom in his beautiful eyes but it was something to remind her of the adventures she and her siblings had had in Narnia. She had been Queen Susan of Narnia secure, beautiful and merry. She had ruled benevolently with Peter, Edmund and Lucy from their castle of Cair Paravel.

She remembered hunting parties with falcons on their wrists, the elegant golden chessmen with the ruby eyes, the extravagant feasts celebrated from the dais in Cair Paravel's Great Hall. There was little of that fine queen left in her now. The hands that had once drawn a bowstring to beat the finest archers in Narnia, Archenland and Calormen were now wrinkled and shaking from arthritis.

The beautiful clear eyes that had spotted targets to bring down with one arrow were poor. The legs and arms, which had once swum the entire coast by Cair Paravel, were old and feeble.

The only vestige she retained of her once legendary beauty was her raven-black hair, thick, soft and shiny although now streaked with grey and hidden under a wimple most of the time. Princes and Kings had once fought over this wrinkled old woman sitting on her bed, with nothing but memories and her dedication to God.

It had taken her brothers and sister's deaths in that train crash to shock her out of the ridiculous phase she had been in. It shamed her to think of those days now. She had actually stopped believing in Narnia. Well… she had never actually quite stopped believing. Just ignored it as you do those childhood memories of fairies.

After Peter, Edmund and Lucy's deaths she had fallen apart completely. Everyone was very sympathetic and understanding but they couldn't understand. The other Kings and Queen of Narnia had gone there without her. And she had never had a chance to say goodbye or tell them that she knew Narnia was real and that she had been an idiot to forget about it. She had drowned in her misery for months.

Then Aslan had come.

In her dreams he had come to her telling her of Peter and Edmund and Lucy and showing them to her, happy and content. It had eased her heart. It was then she realized that she had to dedicate herself to Aslan as much as she could when on this world. She had become a nun.

The only thing that bothered her was the images of Jesus dying on the cross. She itched to tell everyone that she had seen Aslan killed on the Stone Table and that wasn't how it looked. But she had dedicated her life to praying, to worshiping Aslan. She always still called Him Aslan in her mind though she prayed to God the Father and Our Lord Jesus, as did everyone.

This was where it had gotten her. 60 years later she was Reverend Mother of St. Catherine's, sitting on her bedside dreaming of Heaven. She had realized long ago that Jesus and Aslan, Heaven and Narnia, were all one and the same. The eighty-year-old nun sighed and rose before laying herself down in her bed and covering herself fully with sheets and blankets. Still thinking of Narnia, she drifted off to sleep.

A golden lion appeared in front of her. "Aslan! Dear Aslan!" Susan cried, flinging herself on him and weeping for joy in his shining mane. "Hush little one" Aslan said soothingly. Susan stifled her sobs though tears continued to trickle down her face.

"My dearest Aslan have you come for me? Will you take me to Peter and Edmund and Lucy? Will you take me to Narnia? Will you Aslan?"

Aslan put one great velvety paw on Susan's shoulder. He uttered the words that gave Susan more joy than she could have ever imagined. "I will" Susan wept even more torrentially as Aslan took her through the white space of time between worlds until she saw familiar rolling green countryside.

Her brothers and sister were there calling out to her "Sue! Susan! What took you so long?" Susan tumbled across the grass to join her siblings. Her arthritic muscles and grey-streaked hair were gone. She was Queen Susan of Narnia again in all her health and strength, arrayed in finery many could not imagine. "Oh Peter! Edmund! Lucy! How I've missed you all! Dear Aslan brought me to see you and I'm staying oh I am!"

She embraced her fellow monarchs and dearest friend, her cheeks still shining with tears. "Come on Sue!" Lucy tugged her hand. "There are people to meet!" Lucy led her sister down into the meadow where a crowd of people and animals was gathered. "Reepicheep!" Susan exclaimed, spotting the dark-furred mouse. "Professor Kirke! Aunt Polly! Eustace! Caspian! Cor! Aravis! Corin!"

This last was said to the tall, handsome prince of Archenland, known as Corin Thunderfist for his boxing skills, whom Susan had secretly fallen in love with. He first grinned at her, and then scooped the beautiful young queen into his arms to kiss her soundly. "Oh my" Susan said, rather inadequately. Corin grinned once again and kissed her. A slight "Ahem!" noise from Lucy made the two pull apart so Susan could continue recognizing everybody gathered in the meadow.

Some she had to be introduced to but all bowed or curtsied reverently to the young queen who immediately said "Stop that" and pulled them up. At the end of the meadow was Aslan and Susan once again put her arms around his great neck. "Thank you Aslan. Thank you so much" Her eyes were once again brimming with tears. "Hush my queen," said Aslan. "I have brought you home." Susan wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her gown. "Dearest" Aslan said. "There are just two more people you must meet."

Susan turned and her own Mother and Father were there in Narnia running towards her, looking as young and vibrant as when Susan was just a baby. Susan joyfully embraced them and all three collapsed to the earth in a tangle. Queen Susan of Narnia had rejoined her family and her homeland.

"It's no use," said the doctor bending over the old woman in a nun's habit. "I'm afraid she had passed on." The most senior nun of the convent, Sister Mary Margaret, whispered to a younger one to inform the Sisters that the Reverend Mother had rejoined God. She then went over to say a last farewell to the woman she loved like a mother. Susan Pevensie had been a good kind woman as well as a most holy person. She was never too busy to give a kind and attentive ear to anyone in trouble. It was sad for the world that she had passed on.

But as she lay there, her eyes closed in eternal sleep, the Reverend Mother had a beautiful smile on her face and Mary Margaret couldn't help feeling that she really was gone to a much better life.