Business Nuptial Arrangement


Dedicated to: King Kalelus III


Define Chaos: It is a condition wherein you get engaged, married and forced to make 'baby' to someone who has a rotten like hell attitude, Uchiha Sasuke.

Happy BURPday to you

You belong to the zoo

And the monkey and the donkey

The dobe is Naruto.

Three seconds to go and the moronic clock will ring..




Wake Up Moron Or Else You'll Spend The Rest Of Your Life Using Metamphetamine Hydrochloride!

Wake Up Moron Or Else You'll Spend The Rest Of Your Life Using Metamphetamine Hydrochloride!

Wake Up Moron Or Else You'll Spend The Rest Of Your Life Using Metamphetamine Hydrochloride!

Professor X: Metamphetamine hydrochloride is the generic name for panty liners.

Dexter: Asshole, you're older than me, you're bald mehn. Don't tell me that I'm smarter than you? Well, Metamphetamine hydrochloride is the generic name for feminine wash.

Donatello: Okay...? The truth is Metamphetamine hydrochloride is the generic name for crocodile toothpaste.

Volunteer reader: You three suck! It's a drug you morons

Professor X: That's what I said.

Dexter: Did I say feminine wash? I said drug. Feminine drug. Yeah. Yeah. Feminine and masculine drug..

Donatello: Actually it wasn't toothpaste. Yeah... I guess. It was a shampoo. Kangaroo shampoo.!!

Boredteenager: I'm sorry for the short interruption. Back to the story.

"Shit." A raven haired guy muttered while rubbing his hair. He had a bad dream. A dream wherein Itachi had the happy ending while he, the so-called Itachi Junior, was left behind in a dark corner beside a rotten garbage full of rotten tomatoes.

Who would be happy? He was not really in the mood right now. He stood up, not even bothering fixing his bed.

He went downstairs to be greeted by thousands of maids.

"Good Morning, Sasuke-sama! Happy Birthday in advance! You look hot as ever." The maids squealed. They were so lucky to work in the Uchiha Mansion. They get to see Sasuke in his most rugged look. And damn, he was so hot with his rugged hair.

"Oh yeah, tomorrow's my birthday." He mumbled boredly. He wasn't that interested, there would be a big party tomorrow. Oh, how he hates parties.

"Don't tell me you forgot your birthday?" Itachi smirked, rubbing his hair. Uchiha's love to rub their hairs.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted. Annoying parties. He definitely hates parties. Especially birthday parties. Especially HIS birthday party.

"You're not really in the mood neh? Had a bad dream?" Itachi asked.

"You bet."

"Let me guess. You dreamt about me last night!"

"Hn." Sasuke stomped off, smooching some bread into his mouth. Damn that Itachi. Why bother asking when you already knew the answer. He just wants to annoy the hell out of him.

"Smile Sasuke-sama. Luck is on your way!" He heard one of his housemaids say.

Luck? Pweh. There is no such thing as luck.

"They might be right. Besides mom and dad will arrive tomorrow. I bet they prepared something special for you. Like a party full of strippers." Itachi snickered loudly. What a perverted brother.

"..." He hates surprises.

"Bro, prepare yourself. They're coming."

After few minutes from Itachi's last sentence.

"Sasuke-kun! ADVANCE Happy Birthday! We love you!"

Fan girls

Annoying Fan girls

Moronic annoying Fan girls

Stupid like rotten tomatoes that turned to black moronic annoying Fan girls


"Sasuke-kun!" Fan girl came running towards him. Ready to pounce him anytime. They are definitely going to have him and no one, they repeat... NO ONE can stop them.

They continued to run after him, drooling and squeeling. Oh, how he hates them.

"Shit. Shit." He cursed trying his best to avoid them.

"Advance Happy Birthday! We love you!"


Sasuke's vocabulary is getting lesser every day. He muttered incoherent words as he escapes from his fan girls. This time, he was the prey and the fan girls are the predators. Very scarypredators.

The only thing in his mind right now is to run! RUN.

He was so busy with his thoughts of avoiding them that he didn't bother looking around.



Woah, nice one. He was like superman, ground version. He just hit something. Not really something. But actually.. SOMEONE!

Someone with soft, smooth and bouncy THING!

"Get your fucking hand off my breast, you.. you ASSHOLE!" a pink haired girl shrieked loudly.


The pink haired girl who had just shrieked loudly, gathered all her power to give him one big blow.

Left. Then Right. Left. Right. Left. Right. LEFT. RIGHT.

Damn. The guy is good. Poor little girl. Her effort didn't work, she haven't even reached him. The guy in front of him was just smirking and he was actually having fun seeing her so worked up.

"Babe, practice hitting me right. Okay?" Sasuke gave her his hottest smirk, his face was only inches away from her. And as every single girl would react, her cheeks turned a bright shade of pink.

She was actually blushing.

Oh my gawd, he's THE Uchiha Sasuke! You had a crush on him since.. since like forever?Her inner self exclaimed, feeling the same sensation.

Not anymore. She answered back.


Oh that HURTS. Yeah, that freaking hurts.


THE Great, THE Handsome, THE Famous, THE Perfect, THE Everything..

UCHIHA SASUKE found dead!

A witness was interviewed saying she had seen the WHOLE incident. She was hysterical. She was too young to witness such cruel act.

According to the witnesses:

Uchiha Sasuke was found lying on the cold floor of the school's corridor. It was said that he was punched by an iron fist pink haired girl with a forehead as wide as an elephant's butt. She was said to have a secret cru--

"Who wrote this?" The pink haired girl asked softly and calmly as possible. This was exaggerated!

"Who the fuck wrote this?" Sakura repeated, adding cursed words in her sentences.. giving everyone the idea that she was now angry.

Hell erupts when she's angry. Veins popping out like popcorn. 3.. 2.. 1..

"Yamanaka Ino! You're a dead BITCH!"

"Teme, Sasuke-teme. Sasuke?" A blonde haired guy with whiskers on his cheeks asked curiously. He was amazed that a girl actually punched THE Uchiha Sasuke right straight on the face.

"What?" He grunted, the bruised nose was throbbing. Damn that girl, she had actually hit him pretty hard.

"Does it hurt? Woah, that girl is so cool!? Does it hurt? Tell me. Tell me." He jumped around him, like an American Indian around the bonfire.


"Teme?" Naruto continued to pester him.

"Of course it hurts. MORON!I wouldn't be here in the clinic if I'm fucking okay. Are you that blindness. I am not OKAY." Though the lack of exclamation mark tells that he was a bit calm, but a part of his cool and calm demeanor was ruined.

"So you mean.. you mean?"

"Hopeless asshole." He sighed. He was stuck with a bruised nose and an annoying hopeless asshole. What more can I ask for?

Series of unfortunate events happened to him. Damnation to the MAX.



"Ino.." Sakura said softly like an angel, an angel who wouldn't hurt a fly. But would hurt an elephant. She was an angel.. in disguise.

Her bangs covered her beautiful eyes that held two beautiful green orbs.

This means World War 3!

Please prepare for the next scenes. This would be very deadly.

"Some scenes might not be appropriate for very young audiences. Parental Guidanceis STRONGLY recommended." Tenten warned.

Sakura smiled. An evil smile. She was contented on what she had accomplished. It was very simple actually, she didn't resort to beating the hell out of Ino NOR destroying her pretty ugly face.

What she did was very simple yet very wise.

Posted on the bulletin. Posted on the school's newspaper. Ino might forgot that she was the chief editor of their school's newspaper.

"Yamanaka Ino snores when she sleeps and spends hours pulling hair on her armpit! Want proofs? A dollar for every picture. First come. First serve."

She grinned. She smiled. She won.

"I can't wait to go home. No more fan girls. Please." Uchiha prayed silently. The day was pretty stressful for him. The fan girls, the touch someone's breast, the bruised nose.. it was one heck of a troublesome day.

Though the touch someone's breast incident was quite pleasurable. Pervert.

"Class has ended. Go home and don't forget your homework. Boys don't stay long inside the bathroom. I know what you are doing there." Kakashi smirked behind the mask.

The boys blushed. The girls were confused.

"Peace at last." Sasuke muttered silently. He was willing to sell his soul to the devil just to get home early.

However, Kakashi stopped him before he can even reach the door.

"Uchiha Sasuke." He called placing a hand on Sasuke's right shoulder. Sasuke's back was facing Kakashi, though he couldn't see his face, Kakashi can feel the scowl on Sasuke's face.


"Don't tell me you forgot? Uchiha's have good memory." Kakashi grinned.

"..." Sasuke scanned his memory. Nope. He haven't forgot anything. Not really.

"You have a detention. You know, for being late this morning." Kakashi emphasized the word late. Sasuke totally forgot about that. He was busy nursing his bruised nose.

"Shit." Life couldn't get any worse.

"The Level Prefect told me to remind you about your detention. Uchiha, you have to arrange the books in the library. Oh yeah, you can continue nursing your nose in there. At least the place is airconditioned." Kakashi walked away chuckling.


"I heard that. No bad words, Sasuke." He shouted from afar. Woah, the old guy has good hearing skills.

Dirty perverted thoughts maybe, but definitely no bad words. -Kakashi's motto.

"What a bitch. That Ino-pig. She placed me in detention just because of those stupid pictures. I mean come on. The truth must prevail." Sakura explained to herself.

She, too, was given detention. And here she is, arranging pile of books and gathering them back to the shelves.

What a life.

"This library is so old. Books here are so old. Old and dusty books." She dusted some making her sneeze, the sound echoed inside the library. The library was creepy and old.

She hoped the librarian wouldn't leave her behind. She's scared.

"I hate her." She murmured.

She was pretty busy doing her job when she heard some cursing. It was like a 'bad words contest'. The certain someone kept on cursing.



She decided to look for the source of the voice.

"Someone there?" Sakura asked shakily. She was a bit baffled. Okay, she was freaking scared. Afraid. Troubled. Frightened. Terrified. Exaggeration be damned.

"Hello?" She called out. Nobody is answering and the voice who kept on cursing was gone. Oh, how she hates ghosts. It really makes her hair stand.

Silence. Only the voice outside the library can be heard.


"Aaaaaahhh!" Sakura screamed loudly like a possessed girl. If someone is trying to joke her around, then that someone would see heaven right away. That wasn't really nice.

"Ssshh." Someone grabbed her from the back making her more startled. She tried to move away from her captor. She lose the ability to scream because a large hand covered her mouth.

Silencing her.

That someone pointed his other hand to the sign.

"Be QUIET or else you'll NEVER see the bright sunshine again." -management. With a cute smiley drawing after the sign.

"Creepy." He muttered. The voice was pretty familiar that Sakura stopped moving around. Realizing that the girl wasn't fighting anymore, he let go of her.

Her eyes widened.

"It's you again!"

"..." Sasuke didn't gave her a comment. He just cocked his eyebrow and gave her his trademark smirk which really boils Sakura's blood inside.

"What are you doing here? Moron." She asked furiously looking directly at his two beautiful dark eyes. Everything around him is dark.. yet very seductive.

"Detention." He walked away.

"Hey, don't turn your back when I'm talking. You fucking scared me!" Sakura yelled, her eyes watered. By just looking at her, you can tell that she was pretty scared.


"You just don't know how scared I am." Sakura's voice was trembling. She was just trying to stop her tears from falling. She was frustrated okay. Her heart was still beating really fast.

"Idiot. Don't cry." Sasuke muttered, feeling very guilty for making her feel scared and afraid.


This time not in the nose but on his stomach. Though, the impact of her small fist wouldn't hurt his almighty six packed abs.. he still felt a very light pain.

"Oow." He held his stomach. The little girl is pretty abusive. First, she bruised his nose and now she punched her on the gut. And she had done all of these in a day.

"That.. that's for making me act like an idiot." She placed her tongue out. So childish.

"Keep that tongue, or else I'll suck it."

His voice was dark and seductive. She can barely see his face because the library was dimmed. His bangs covered his dark eyes.

And without second thought, he pushed her roughly on the shelf, locking her with his two strong arms on each side of her head. She looks very small, cute, pretty, adorable and painfully tempting to look at.

Very tempting.. indeed.

"You're one fiesty girl. I'm not a very submissive person." He smirked. He placed his face on her neck, smelling the nice fragrance of cherry blossom and strawberry.

His breath tickled her inside and out.

"It's payback time." He said in a matter of fact voice and he was dead serious.

She remained silent. She was quite afraid of what's going to happen but feeling a very weird sensation on her stomach. Her heart was beating hard.



"I won't hurt you."

"..." He angled his face, there faces were dangerously close. She could feel blood rushing towards her face. She was actually blushing. Who wouldn't blame her? She had a crush on him since kindergarten.


"I won't hurt you, I'll just take something precious from you."

"My life? What you gonna do? Suffocate me with dust?" Sakura spatted back, she recovered her courage to fight back. A fighter.

"Not really."

He then captured her lips with his. Sakura's eyes widened. She couldn't believe what was happening! Her first kiss! Her first kiss! She was going to faint.

Her FIRST kiss was taken by a total asshole named Uchiha Sasuke! Taken by an enemy, an asshole, a jerk!

The kiss was forceful. His tongue was asking for it and she doesn't know if she still have enough strength to stop it from entering.

Sakura, wake up!

She pushed him away after feeling his tongue inside her. She stopped him because it wasn't right.She stopped him because she hated him.

She stopped him before she couldn't stop herself. She touched her lips with the back of her right hand. Panting a little, her red dress was scrunched up. Her hair were tangled and her lips were freshly kissed.

What a life.

"How dare you!First you touched my breast and now you french kissed me on my FIRST KISS?!"

"It was my first kiss, too." He said dully.



"Prepare to die Uchiha!"

"Hello, is someone still here inside?" The librarian asked. Hearing no answer, she decided to turn off the lights and lock the doors shut.

Before the two could react.

"Oh, okay. I'll just close the library now."

Their future was gone, shut close.. just like the doors and turned off.. just like the lights.

So they call this luck? What a very nice day.

Boredteenager: After having my sasusaku inspiration back, I decided to look at my stories. Woah, after reading it, I concluded that I was very young when I started writing this story. I added more details to make it more formal and readable.Hehe.

Reviewing is good for your health.