Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or Biodome.

AN: (1) Biodome reference

At The Autobot Base of Idiocy…

"Who's the letter from, Dad?" Rad asked.

"The mayor of Venice. He kindly asks that I get my parents the hell out of his city before he reintroduces the guillotine as a form of execution" Koji said dully.

"What did Grandma and Grandpa do this time?" Rad asked.

"Apparently Uncle Ben decided to drop by which resulted in Mom chasing him through the canals with her spear-ax"

"Uncle Ben doesn't stay in one piece very long", Rad commented thinking of the ghost walk incident.

"At least it's flood season. Uncle Ben can't burn Venice unless the water in the canals is really low" Koji said.

"HUMAN PETS!" Megatron bellowed as he walked into the room. "Where is Prime?"

"You know we might actually answer you for once if you used our names for once" Rad said with a glare.

"We find being referred to as pets demeaning" Koji glared. "Plus we aren't human. I'm half Archangel, half demon and Rad's ¼ demon, ¼ archangel, and ½ Cybertronian."

Megatron stared at them for a minute before looking away mumbling.


"I don't remember your names"

"You kidnapped my father, tried to kidnap me, and you don't know my name?" Koji asked incredulous.

"I'm bad with names alright!" Megatron admitted. "Where's Prime?" he asked, slightly more nicely.

"Optimus hasn't recovered from that freak hammer accident yet. What did you want him for?" Koji asked.

"I wanted to know who it was that talked that medic into changing my gender" Megatron hissed.

"You haven't figured that out yet?" Rad asked disbelieving. Megatron glowered at him.

"Think for a minute. Who is usually responsible for the chaos in the universe?" Koji said like he was explaining something to a child.

"Uhh … Bud and Doyle? (1)" Megatron asked. Identical glares stared back at him.

"That bat creature?" he tried again. Koji and Rad smiled and nodded.



"Why did we bring Megatron with us?" Rad asked.

"Because Optimus won't let us use the warp and Megatron offered to let us use his if we let him have a go at Uncle Ben" Koji explained as their Gondola struggled to stay afloat.

"Should we be taking him straight to Uncle Ben? He might hurt him," Rad said.

"If Uncle Ben is still alive after pissing Mom off as many times as he has then I don't think Megatron will do that much damage" Koji reasoned.

"Human, how shall we find the bat?" Megatron asked ignoring Koji and Rad's glares at being called humans.

Suddenly a dark figure in black spandex dropped into the boat. "Did someone call me?" it said in a dark voice.

Megatron burst out laughing. "And people say my ears are weird" he laughed pointing at the figures head. (AN: if you haven't figured out who he is yet you were seriously cartoon deprived as a child).

"Not you" Koji groaned recognizing the man.

"Is this one of Uncle Ben's occult worshipers?" Rad asked.

"Close. He met Uncle Ben in a cave a while back and ever since he's been running around Gotham in his underwear" Koji sighed.

"It's not underwear!" Batman (AN: who I do not own) yelled.

"Just because you wear skin tight gray spandex doesn't change the fact that it's underwear" Koji informed him. Batman threw a bat-a-rang at him. It predictably missed and hit Rad.

One Day Later At The Watch Tower…

"What happened to him?" Flash asked. Batman looked like he'd been run trough a meat processor, stampeded on by rabid elephants, and put through a trash compactor.

"We don't know. He hasn't regained consciousness to tell us," Superman answered.

Suddenly Batman sat up. "Never piss off a demonic father," he advised. Then he fainted dead away (no he's not really dead. The justice league would kill me).

Back in Venice…

"We've been here for a day already and haven't accomplished anything except for beating a vigilante with in an inch of his life---which was very well done by the way" Megatron complimented Koji.

"Thanks" Koji shrugged.

"I never would have thought that you had such a violent side" Megatron went on.

"Demons are very protective of their children" Koji explained.

Megatron nodded. That explained the ferocity with which the man had launched himself at the dark knight. Megatron made a mental note not to mess with any of the Onishi children.

"Hey, isn't that Uncle Ben?" Rad, who had a large bandage on his arm from where he'd been hit, asked.

Megatron and Koji looked up and saw Ben on top of a church spire.

"What's that weird device he has with him?" Megatron asked.

Rad and Koji recognized it. "Dad is that-"

Koji nodded. Then he turned to the Gondolier. "Get us out of Venice now" he ordered. The Gondolier nodded, throwing away his pole and started the engine nobody had noticed before.

Five Minutes Later…


"What the hell was that?" Megatron yelled, watching the mushroom cloud rise on the horizon.

"You know the story about Hiroshima, right?" Koji asked.

"Yes. It was destroyed by the Atomic Bomb."

"That was the plan but Uncle Ben beat them to it" Koji explained.

"What happened to the bomb then?"

Koji pointed toward the city.


"My wife and children were in the city," the Gondolier said looking at the horizon. "Yes! They're dead!" he jumped for joy.

"WHAT?" a shrill voice yelled.

"No. It can't be" the gondolier moaned. All the citizens of Venice were floating in the ocean. The gondolier's family was floating ten feet away. "Giovanni, I will have your balls for that!" His wife yelled with a heavy Italian accent that her husband lacked.

"Hey look it's Grandma" Rad said spotting his grandmother and grandfather hovering over the people.

"Hi" she said out of breath from teleporting the entire population out of the city.

"I'll have you all executed" the Mayor of Venice yelled, right next to the gondola. He reached into the gondola and grabbed Rad's injured arm.

"Oww" Rad hissed.

Megatron, Eris, and Hisao covered their eyes as Koji summoned the spear ax Ben had given him.

Twenty Minutes Later…

"As the old saying goes 'the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree'" Hisao sighed watching the mayor of Venice being taken away in a water ambulance.

"If they didn't want their mayor to get beat up they should have kept him away from my son" Koji said defensively.

"What are we going to do about Uncle Ben?" Rad asked. Ben had been attacked by Megatron ten minutes ago and didn't seem to be waking up.

"Don't worry, once he recovers I'll find a decent punishment for him" Eris said.