Note: In a moment of profound boredom at work, I wondered idly to myself exactly how many different types of rice there are. Imagine my surprise to learn there are something like 126,000 different types of rice! (46 of which are used to brew sake, for those not in the know.) So of course, as I am wont to do when bored at work, I started writing another FILK about the joys of rice. (And yes, the types of rice quoted are among the top nine used for brewing sake.)

Have fun!


HAVE SOME RICE

Sung to the tune of Beauty and the Beast's "Be Our Guest"

Abbreviation glossary:
P: Peasants
S1, S2, S3, S4: Distinct samurai

P: My dear samurai, it is with deepest need and greatest hope that we welcome you today. And now, we beg you to sit, let us pull up a floor, as the peasants proudly present - your dinner!

P: Have some rice
Have some rice
Oh we hope that you are nice
'Cause the bandits will be coming soon
And we'll have to pay the price
Omachi
Oseto
If there's anything we know
It is planting, it is growing
Don't we wish that it were snowing
Miyama Nishiki
It's all Japanese to me
We can make another bowl in just a trice
Oh no, no rice for me
We eat millet, you see
Have some rice
Eat your rice
Have some rice

Have it white
Have it brown
While we're staying here in town
We will pay you in the only way
That we can (til we're found)
Yamada Nishiki
It's for sake, don't you see
Well, it's not really for drinking
But our village now is shrinking
Have it steamed
Have it fried
'Til your stomach's satisfied
S1: Don't you know that samurai come at a price?
P: We know your honor's high
And we don't want to die
Now have your rice
(And you're nice,
But you've now had sevenths twice)
Have some rice
Have some rice
Have some rice

Life's all harvesting and planting
Well, when Rikichi's not ranting
It's a pain with all those bandits coming 'round
Ah, those good old days way before the Great War
Right until those ships came crashing down
While we've been busy praying
Nobuseri just keep preying
What's it like to have some rice to ourselves?
We won't know 'til after you defeat them
They came here so scary
It's no wonder that you're wary!

P: Have some rice!
Have some rice
S2: It could use a little spice
S3: You want help, you little whelp?
S1: I've seen scarier-looking mice
P: We need help
We need you
Gohyakumangoku
Just don't ask me how to spell it
It's enough for me to tell it
Bring your swords
Bring your bows
We'll even launder your clothes
S4: This whole battle's just a random throw of dice!
P: How can we hope to win?
S2: This is some mess you're in
P: Please have some rice
S3: This is rice?
P: Have some rice
S1: Bring more rice!

P: Have some rice
Have some rice
S4: Is that rice or is that lice
P: Is this guy really samurai
I don't care, he'll suffice!
Dewa San San
Kame no O
Who's this guy Katsushiro?
Kambei says that he won't do
But as of now
We've got just two
Man by man
One by one
'Til we shout, "Yes he's the one!"
Then we'll celebrate with sake chilled on ice
We've got our samurais
Yes they're all real swell guys
Have some rice
Have some rice
Have some rice
Yes,have some rice