Note: Thank you Evanescence for a wonderful song entitled "My Immortal"

Note2: This is a special gift for Haruka-Clone.

My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave

I laid in our bed. Alone. As I've been for the past month. I cling to her pillow for dear life, I fall asleep each night, dreaming it's my beloved Haruka. I wake up each morning, her pillow tear soaked as I relive that tragic day that my blond left me. She had a race that morning. And I was there, in the crowd cheering her on, as almost all the other fans were doing.

Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real

It happened, it was so sudden. She lost control as she entered the corner. Her car smashed into the wall. I raced down to the track as they pulled her lifeless body from the car. I couldn't bare to look at her, they pronounced her dead right there at the scene. I Now find myself changing the channel every time something comes on about racing. I hate racing now. It took my soul mate from me.

There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years

I cling to her pillow each and every night. Hoping that one day she'll return, that it was all just an act. Yet deep down inside I know that she's gone. She's really gone. I can't take it anymore. I can't concentrate on my art without her. She was my muse. She was my music partner. I've tried to play my violin, all the music is sad now, and full of hatred. It's not happy as it once was.

But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind

"Don't you understand how much I miss you!" I let out a loud scream as more tears came to my eyes, my body was shaking now, I couldn't stop crying. I can't stop crying, even if I wanted to. My tears haven't stopped since the day I saw her lifeless body. I've no friends now. She was my only friend, the only one I'd ever trusted. There will be no more Haruka's in my life. Nobody else can ever compare to my dear sweet Ruka.

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real

Her image appeared in front of me. She won't stop torturing me. She asks me each time she appears to come with her. That we can be together forever. I just don't know. I've thought about joining her. About leaving this cruel, lonely life. But I'm afraid of all the things I'll leave behind. But she looks so alone. She looks as alone as me. She misses me as much as I miss her. God why does it have to be this way?

There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years

"I'm coming Ruka." I hugged her pillow for dear life as I approached the balcony. The balcony that overlooked the sea below us. We'd spend many nights out here, I'd be leaned against the railing, and she'd have her arms around me from behind, keeping me warm. We'd stand there and just watch the sea, it always relaxed us both. Now, all I see below me is her face. She's telling my to join her. That things will be so much better. "I'm coming sweetheart. I'll be with you soon." I climbed over the railing, I closed my eyes before I pushed myself off the balcony. I spoke softly to her as I crashed into the water below. "I'm coming."

But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along