Tis a 5-second fic, once more. I don't own Slayers, and if you get hurt reading this, it's not my fault!


Amelia smirked behind her glass as she watched Zelgadis from over it. He looked so handsome in a suit- not just handsome, but devilishly so. He had actually managed to comb his wiry hair into some semblance of order and exposed both his eyes, and the rocks studding his face glimmered in the light of the chandeliers that hung from the ballroom ceiling.

So far, everything had gone so perfectly that Amelia felt that she was walking on air. She liked the life on the road most of the time, but nothing outdoors compared to a soft feather bed and wonderful food cooked by the world's most excellent chefs. Tonight, she and Zelgadis had gotten to eat Dragon Cuisine, and done so without Lina or Gourry there. It was fabulous!

Smiling coyly at Zelgadis, Amelia brushed a hand across her shimmering smoky-gray silk dress and set her glass down, "I'd like to dance," she told him forwardly, and he smiled. Oh how suave he looked when he smiled like that!

Getting to his feet, Zelgadis offered his hand out to her and she placed her own in his rocky palm, allowing him to lift her to her feet. Turning, he tucked her hand under his arm and walked in a stately pace towards the ballroom floor, his steps graceful and light- sure and steady, and as one, they turned to face each other and placed their hands. With that sly smile, Zelgadis stepped out into the flowing swirl of glittering dancers and brought Amelia along with him.

Closing her eyes, Amelia let herself be led by Zelgadis's sure movements, knowing that he wouldn't trip her up or make an embarrassment of them in front of everyone. Of course he wouldn't. He hated being stared at, so he would perform perfectly!

Opening her eyes at the feel of something wet against her cheek, she found Zelgadis leaning close, still smiling, then he kissed her again, wet and sloppily, full on the mouth.

Blinking at that, Amelia smiled at him anyway, he was trying at least. He smiled wider at her, then took a breath to speak.

"MMOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Jerking awake, Amelia stared up in shock at the large pink nose of the cow that stood over her, "Mmrrrroooooooo!" the cow announced again and nuzzled her face, the same cold wet slime that had made her recoil from Zelgadis's kiss slathering across her forehead, making her bangs stand straight out as the cow lifted its head away and flipped its ears pleadingly.

Memory flooded back- she wasn't in Seyruun, she was in a barn, illegally sleeping in someone's hay because SOMEONE had decided she was too cheep to rent a room at the inn. Lina shuffled in the hay nearby, kicking Gourry in the face and he mumbled a protest, Zelgadis had decided to camp out in the woods because he'd been too haughty to be caught sleeping in someone's barn.

Amelia's shriek echoed for miles.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"