Twas the Night Before Christmas in Raccoon City,
and for the citizens things weren't looking too pretty.
Zombies were lurching through the streets without care,
trying to dismember and eat poor innocent Claire.
Jill and Carlos were hiding in the Clocktower somewhere,
hoping the Nemmy couldn't find them in there.
As for me I was in a hallway fending off the undead,
though in all honesty I'd rather have been home in my bed.
Suddenly from behind I heard a great thud, and thought to myself…
No way that's a good thing there bud.
So I went to investigate, in retrospect not very bright.
for what I found was a seven foot B.O.W., aching for a fight.
The hallway was dingy and covered in debris,
the only ones there were him and me.
In the distance I saw a chopper retreating,
those bastards had dropped him and now they were leaving.
My friend Mr. B.O.W. raised his great arms,
a movement that gave me more than a little alarm.
Armed with only a teeny gun,
I did a quick turn, screaming as I began to run:
"I'm not that damn tough!
This R.P.D. job doesn't pay near enough!
I'm leaving…I'm gone…
Hey, I may be naïve…but I sure as hell ain't no blonde!"
I bolted down the hallway, then
scurried to the roof.
That thing was out to kill me,
of that I needed no proof.
For behind me I heard a great crashing and roaring,
which served only to add more speed to my going.
I risked a glance back and saw to my fright,
the B.O.W. was gaining…this was such a bad night.
He was gaining by leaps and gaining by bounds,
even going so far as to make more disturbing sounds.
There were growls and howls, crashes and crunches…
I was scared out my head by bunches and bunches.
He was as wide as he was tall.
His eyes were beady and his head was bald.
His trench coat fluttered and flapped as he crashed,
I suddenly had images of being horribly smashed.
For as I flew though yet another door
I found my way bared, by a collapsed floor.
I cried and I wailed at my bad turn of luck,
for now I was royally and truly…bleeped…
I turned to face him despite my large fear,
again I wished I'd chosen a different career.
Mr. B.O.W. slowed and stopped,
Staring at me the young rookie cop.
Looking tired and winded, he reached deep in his coat,
pulling out a crumpled little note.
His eye scanned the lines, then glanced back to me,
finally he turned and left, leaving me be.
I stared in wonder then my eyes fell to note he had read,
I snatched it up shaking my head.
For upon the paper was wrote just one word:
it proclaimed to the world.
I breathed a great heavy sigh of relief,
despite the fact Jill was in for some grief.
For Nemmy was looking for her when he stumbled on me…
At least the great chase had found me a key…
"Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good night!"
A/N: I hope you enjoyed!