(A/N): I realized some people didnt understand the Len "wanting" part (except this one kool chik named Lisel! XD WOW she seriously reads in2 things! By how she speaks, I almost thot SHE was the one writing this! She's so kool!) so Im just gonna explain it. Overlook this if u already understand.

Before Connor, there was obviously only Dormon, Emily, Christopher (sorry if this ruined stuff. Im pretty sure ppl understood tho...) Val, and Len. Len (as he kinda showed even now) wanted Emily in the past and got her (coughcough). Emily was the thing he had to have. Now things r different and peoples' memories were changed (except Emily's. Again, if u didnt understand yet, sorry 4 the spoilers) Len doesnt want her now (she's just an easy chik in his eyes kuz she's still so terrified of everything happening around her that she doesnt understand, plus its obvious Len is just kreepy haha) because Connor is in the picture this time. The thing Len wants now is obviously him.

I showed that by the past thingy with Len saying he wanted Emily then in the regular timeline saying she wasnt the one he truly wanted and telling Dormon what he wanted was a secret for rite now, considering Dormon is a HUGE homophobe. Heh. So yeah, dont b confused there.

Also, Connor still doesnt even realize Dormon could b abusive, thats why he was kinda shocked Dormon was "sober" and yelling and stuff. That will all b in this chapter. He's gonna now get kinda smart, but he still thinks the flashes of images shown 2 him when he falls asleep r just freaky dreams, even tho he IS getting shocked and the blood loss is kinda unnerving him. Connor is just very weak all together with his other part binded away, also what u getta see in this chapter.


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Connor never thought he'd see the day. The morning, for one thing, on a day he didnt need to be in the hellhole known as school, but to complete it, he never thought he'd see this day, not for awhile atleast.

The day he got in a car with Lorne.

With Lorne driving.

"You didnt have to make that big a show of it, you know. Im not that bad of a driver." Lorne was complaining, while driving like a bat out of hell down one of L.A.'s main expressways.

Angel had at first urged his son to get into the car, promising the sooner he got back to the Reillys and Angel started his day of work at the firm, the quicker the day would end and they could be together again, then tried to plead for his trust, voicing out he would never let any harm come to the boy, but soon seeing that was getting him nowhere, he then literally picked up his son and tossed him in the passenger seat, ignoring the squawks of adamant protests and knowing full well Lorne was a somewhat decent driver.


And Connor had practically pounded on the rolled up window to be let out as both he and the green demon drove off, Angel cheerfully waving from a distance and shouting he would see Connor earlier into the night than the previous day.

After a while of nervous muteness, Connor asked hesitantly, "We're not gonna get pulled over for a DUI or something, are we?" which brought about a shocked image from the other person, who almost looked insulted.

"What are you talking about? Its seven in the morning for Pete's sake! That would be embarrassing!" And while staring dumbstruck at the boy, he suddenly remembered what he shouldve been paying attention to.

But thankfully, he swerved out of range of the large Publix truck that had been preparing to crash head-on into them, the driver suffering from the same illness Lorne was.

Bad driving.

Connor gulped and actually found himself silently praying he made it to the Reillys in one piece which surprised him, after all, anything, in his eyes, was better than going back to that house with that 'father'.

Even Lorne, a demon he had hated in the past, who drove like a lunatic.

He really had nothing to worry about, though. Emily would still be there, probably getting the Brat up for breakfast and Dormon would be preparing to leave for work soon.

But the man would still be there by the rate they were going. Lorne was hitting the gas hard and driving clear over the normal speed limit, even with traffic being a killer in the morning, but not for him as he actually skillfully weaved in and out through other cars.

Another reason why Connor wished the green man would drive slower.

Dormon would still be there...

Not even an hour later, they were turning down his road, and Connor made a small face as his phone read it wasnt even 8am.

Dammit, Dormon wouldn't've left yet.

Connor turned to look out the window, mentally squashing down the feelings of uncertainty and apprehension he felt. He had no idea what kind of mood his 'father' would be in, but if he was drunk, he would just have to steer clear of his path.

"Point out the house, Sweetcheeks," Lorne said, noticing the boy in the passenger seat grow silent. What small abilities outside of song he possessed all practically screamed something amiss.

He could feel the boy worried.

He could feel the boy anxious.

He could feel the boy tense.

"That one," came the quiet reply and he saw the boy give a small gesture with his finger towards the two-story house on his right. Seeing both cars in the driveway still, though, he quickly turned to the demon. "Let me out here."

"I can make it safely into the driveway, you know," Lorne looked offended, and to prove his point, he did so, much to Connor's chagrin.

If Dormon suddenly walked outside...

"There we go." Lorne put the car in park and patted the kid's shoulder. "Good times to you, Sunshine. I'll probably be dropping by again tonight to recreate a part of the wholesome bunch if you dont mind..."

Connor nodded quickly to affirm he didnt care, grabbed his stuff, and got out, closing the door gently, but not for the car's benefit. It seemed Lorne was waiting for him to get inside before he pulled out, but Connor, standing rigidly still in the same spot facing away from his house and making a point to wave, hinted with his stance for the demon to drive off in his presence. With a somewhat strange look, the green man took it, backed away, and was gone.

Connor stood there, still facing the road, mentally preparing for the venture inside, until he heard a double beep from his phone, meaning he had missed a text message. Pulling the little device out, he read what his father sent him.

:Did you get back ok?:

Connor :Fearing for my life the whole way, but yeah:

Angel :You know I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I wouldve killed him if something did:

Connor laughed, shaking his head as he typed :Yeah and then yourself? Youre such a woman:

"Get the fuck in here."

Connor froze.

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Lilah, within her shaded office, looked up as somebody opened the door with a light rap to the wood, then walked over to her as she sat behind her desk. A man in his late 30s, pasty-faced with a shock of red hair and an equally red mustache, held out a single folder in front of her.

"Here's the file you requested, Ma'am."

"Thank you." She sipped on a glass of Chardonnay, face grimacing as her mind made it known to her yet again that the small dose of alcohol would have no effect whatsoever on her undead body.

"I hear another psychic died earlier this morning on one of the floors again," the chatty employee went on, holding other yellow folders in his hands. "Its a shame. Thats got to be the fourth these past few months."

"Yes, well she poked her egotistical pointy nose into something her little mind couldnt handle. Not a very good psychic if you ask me. Curiosity leads to death in this line of work." She stopped speaking as she watched the hesitant man lean over to look at one of the many files littered on her mahogany desk. He was scanning a particular one, though, she noticed. One she had stupidly left out for prying eyes.

Not that she had left her office at all the previous night, of course.

"Do I have to repeat that last part?" She lowered her voice to a more deadly tone as she closed the certain folder.

"What? Oh, please excuse my disrespect, Ma'am. I just never did learn of what happened to the first part of our involvement in that...special case." He smiled while the woman raised a thin-trimmed eyebrow.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

The man actually blushed a bit. "Oh, I would never even consider you recognizing me at all- Ive been gone for a while. My name's Mark Shimmer, Ms. Morgan. I was part of the team that did the binding a few months back. I was also part of the crew that sealed a certain spirit away into this building."

Lilah nodded, looking at her glass as she again raised it to her lips. She of course wouldnt recognize the man from the second part of the 'plan.' She had no involvement in that area.

Just...the part to do with Angel.

"And wouldnt we all just love to thank you for that," she rolled her eyes, but Shimmer took no offense.

"I see then the plan was a complete success?"

"...Yes. Yes, it was."

With a...minor backfire. The first time sealing it away in the building along with countless others from different parts, left it to roam around freely wherever it pleased. There were many other things within the building with darker pasts and evil intentions, but that certain spirit was the most active.

And the little boy could effect his surroundings as well as possess individuals.

That was a spirit not like all the rest.

Shimmer nodded, but didnt look away. "You dont seem happy with the results." At her glare, he quickly added, "I hope its alright I voice my opinions, Ma'am."

"Why are you here at this time of day? I thought all the crew members were switched to night-staff..." Normally, she wouldve found the man exceptionally rude and wouldve disposed of him quickly, but strangely enough, speaking atleast a portion of her mind to a person that understood one of the biggest secrets Wolfram & Hart had to offer left her feeling as if Shimmer was a...kindred soul, for the most part.

Something so preposterous, she knew it wouldnt last long with her.

"I was on vacation when that order was put into effect. Im still labeled as day-staff in the books and since we have...new management..." He gave a small laugh, hinting away to the woman that one of the many true cruelties lay before her in the form of a smiling and ill-tempered mortal man.

"Yes, lucky us. We've all basically signed ourselves away to suicide." Then again, she already knew that.

And was already dead.


"Agreeing to position an everlasting vampire with a champion's soul, who now has a powerful child by his side, raised and trained in the hells of Quor-toth, the dimension of no return, as the Destroyer..." Lilah trailed off at that, lost in thought. Destroyer of good or evil still wasnt known. She supposed the boy exercised the method of neutrality. "Its purely death just stepping foot into this place."

The man in front of her only nodded, as if already fully aware.

"So why did you do it then? Why sign your soul away to this firm?" She asked, eyebrows raised. She really wasnt all that interested in why, but everybody had their own reasons, she knew, so she atleast wanted to know his. She had been holding a somewhat friendly conversation with him already.

What was his reason?

But Shimmer only smiled, his pearly whites showing. "Somebody has to put the kids through college."

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"Oh my God, he's whistling."

"Yes. So it would seem..."

"Nothing good can come from this."

"Well, I wouldnt exactly admit anything disastrous either..."

"Uh yeah?" Gunn looked over at Wes in a 'No Duh' fashion as they both stood stock-still in the doorway of the vampire's office. "Just look at him! When was the last time he was this- O wait..."

Wesley nodded along with him.


"Connor," the ex-watcher affirmed.

At hearing the boy's name, their boss looked over, haloed in the glare from the big bay windows, and seeing his employees, he motioned them to take a seat, a broad smile still present.

Now, ten minutes later and fully understanding why they were called in, they attempted to solve the vampire's dilemma, but...

Angel had all of a sudden gotten horribly sidetracked.

"Guys, it was amazing," his smile was now a full-fledged grin. "It was our first real night together and we spent it just talking. Talking about absolutely nothing, but I enjoyed it and he enjoyed it, too. I could see it. And you should have seen him sitting in that room..." His grin loosened a little bit as he swallowed. "It was like he never even left," he breathed as his broad smile went right back into motion. "He looked so...so happy. He looked almost thrilled to be back there...back with me..."

"Angel, Im sure he was," Wes remarked, hands placed calmly in his lap. "Its plain to see he adores you."

The vampire beamed proudly at that. "You think so?"

"Are you blind, man?" Gunn sounded shocked.

"He had his first nightmare last night," Angel continued, leaning back in his leather chair. "I mean...well, first nightmare with me, anyway. It was nothing to worry about too much and he sounded like he's had a few but...thats understandable. All kids get them, dont they? He had one in my arms, though. And woke up to my voice." The vampire father now looked awed. "He started to shake and I called to him, waking him up instantly and he latched onto me so tightly, it almost took my breath away...Well, you know what I mean...But the point is, he had a bad dream and I comforted him. I always wanted to do that...Not that I want him to ever have nightmares, but I was there and I held him and I calmed him down." He turned to look at them, trying to put into words all the things running around in his head as he gave up a slightly embarrassed laugh.. "It felt so...right, you know? Like I was meant for that. Like I was meant for him. Nothing else mattered at all. It was just...right and...and amazing. Those are the only two words coming to mind," he laughed again, leaning back farther as he turned away. "And this morning, when I woke up and he was in my arms, I...I didnt want to let him go. I want every morning to be like that."

"Itd seriously cramp up your love life, you know," Gunn said, raising dark eyebrows.

"Nobody else matters anymore, Gunn. I dont need anyone but him." Angel stood up and walked towards the window. "Holding him close to me and in my arms just felt so...so..." He looked down and placed his hands on his hips, as if searching for the words to say.

"Right?" Gunn suggested with a smirk.

"Amazing?" Wesley added on.

Angel grinned softly at them both.

"Look, man, not to ruin the whole cheesy Vampire Chronicles dialogue going on here, but I gotta ask- what did you guys actually do last night?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. Got some food but thats it."

"Thats all? Nothing else?" Gunn scooted farther into his seat with a frown. "Doesnt sound too fun to me."

Angel nodded, looking contemplative. "Yeah, it doesnt, does it?" He gazed at most of Downtown Los Angeles below. "But he was happy. Thats all I care about." After a few quiet moments, he suddenly whirled on them with a shocked face. "Why did I call you guys in here again?"

Wesley rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to remember, as Gunn just snorted, looking amused. "Presents, Boss-man. For the Shorty."

"Oh, right, right. And dont call my son that." Angel sat down and spread out his hands, eagerly waiting for some suggestions. "Well? Give me something to go on."

"We already went over this. Your kid has everything. You name it, he's got it. The PSP was a lucky break."

Angel sighed. "I cant just get him one thing. There's got to be something else..." He felt terrible. A whole day with Connor and he still had basically no clue what his son liked or was into. "I have another idea," he bit his lip thinking about it though, "but I dont know how Im going to pull it off. There would be no one around to take care of it..."

Both his friends gave him a blank look.


"What have you gotten for him so far?" Wesley asked, not exactly catching what Gunn had said.

"A PSP. Its like...I dont know, a gameboy, I guess. And I got some games and movies for it that I hope he likes," the vampire frowned again. "Dammit, I never knew how hard this could be."

"I think youre considering too much into the 'toys' department of all this. Why not try for something you cant easily provide?" Wesley recommended.

"Like what?"

"Like...your body."

Both men gave the Britishman a look. "Not following you here, Wes."

"No, I simply mean what your body cannot provide for him-"

"-I can provide him with whatever he wants. Thats not a question-"

"-He's talking about what your cold, undead, moping, newly-lateeda, vampiric body cant give your warm-blooded bouncing baby boy. Heat. Even I know that one."

"Pretty harsh, though, how you said it," Angel inclined his head with almost a pouty frown. "And Im still not following."

"Its winter," Wesley told him. "Get him warm clothes or...comforters, sheets, pillows-"

"-No kid wants clothes for Christmas, Wes. Im not that far behind. Besides, I already bought him more clothes. And bed things I can get him any other day."

"Oh my God, your kid's gonna be spoiled," Gunn shook his head.

"Yeah, I know. I cant wait," Angel grinned, looking proud again. "So, c'mon guys, think! Its Christmas. What would Connor want?"


Angel shook his head. "No sentimental value."

"Gift cards?"

"Again, no sentimental value."

"A car?"

"And have him take off without me? I dont think so."

"A pony?"






"Girls. Girls. And more girls?"

A glare. "Dont make me hit you."

"A fully-equipped vampire slaying arsenal with BB gun thrown in for extra fun."


"Not to use on you, of course."


Gunn shrugged. "Well, Im out of ideas." He turned to Wesley. "Youre up."

Angel sliced a hand threw his spiky hair, growling in frustration as he sat back. "This is hopeless."

"There's still time," Wes said, trying to be encouraging. "When youre spending time with him, observe what he takes in, what he looks at and fancies. Whenever something catches his eye, just-"

"-Or you can just call him up and ask him what the hell he wants," Gunn cut in, giving the vampire a look.

"Im not doing that."

"Then youre gonna be sitting here for the next three days doing the same damn thing youre doing now."



"Two days," Angel moaned, leaning forward to put his pale head in his hands. "We're celebrating on Christmas Eve..."

"Sucks for you."

"What are your plans for tonight?" Wes asked, looking curious.

Angel froze then sighed, looking defeated. "I knew it. Im a terrible father. He's going to hate me."

Gunn rolled his eyes. "Damn, youre a lost cause." He pointed to the cell phone at the corner of Angel's desk. "Get on that thing, call him up, and atleast ask him what he wants to do tonight. You can worry about the rest when you get an answer."

And when the immortal's hand slowly inched its way to the small device, Gunn looked over at the Brit. "Quick. While he's distracted. Or we're going to be here until Christmas Eve." They got up as if one.

"Uhhh Angel, Im sorry, but the archives are calling me in need of my expertise," Wesley was saying as Gunn hurried from sight behind him.

"Wait. I still need your-"

"-And there's a new hott little blonde techy waiting for me to give her some of my own Christmas cheer, if you know what I mean, man. Gotta go. See ya," Gunn grinned, already at the door, and dashed off. Fast.

Wesley shrugged, giving an apologetic look to the vampire as he quickly hauled out of there, too.

When both were gone, Angel again sighed, leaning back, then looked once more at his phone before picking it up.

And dialed his Miracle's number.

It had been a while since he had last talked to his son, anyway. Usually, the boy would be texting him relentlessly.

He thought nothing of it when he received no answer by the third ring and felt minor disappointment when he was switched to the robotic voicemail.

But by the third time he had called and Connor didnt pick up, he began to worry.

And by the seventh time, he was panicking and calling Gunn into his office, no matter how many voices raged within his mind that he was merely being overly-paranoid.

Half an hour later, though, and still no word from his son, even those voices were silent.

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His full stomach instantly twisted into knots as he quickly lowered the phone and kept it out of sight from the presence behind him, putting it on silent while slipping it silently into one of his front pockets.

"Dont make me tell you again..."

Connor turned and bent low to pick up his bags, noticing his body moved more rigidly than normal. Keeping his gaze to the ground, he shuffled forward, not wanting to risk looking up at the man and elicit even more anger than what he already heard in the deep voice.

Dormon was standing in the doorway, shirt untucked over dark work pants and tie hanging loosely around his neck, while a tan hand still firmly gripped the knob as he held the door open for the quiet boy walking towards him.

Just as Connor stepped through the threshold though, the door slammed shut and a thick wrist was instantly at his throat, backing him up to hit the wall as he dropped his things to the floor.

He instinctively gasped, looking up, not that he could look elsewhere, anyway. The hand chop-style wavering over his Adam's apple craned his neck up more than intended as he was forced to stare eye-level with his "father." He then flinched as another hand was placed by the side of his head, flat against the wall.

"So..." A piercing gaze was sent his way as Dormon stepped closer, leaning into him, head bent low and breath ghosting across his forehead. Connor slowly swallowed as his "father" continued to speak in his dangerously calm tone. "As I take it, you didnt come home again last night, did you?" He raised his head a little as if indicating it was the boy's turn to speak, but when Connor said nothing, instead looking back with wary eyes and a frozen stance, the older man moved his hand away from the thin throat and put it on the other side of the boy's head, now caging him in. "Did you?" he asked again, even louder this time.

"...No." Connor considered him for a second before he inched his eyes towards the stairs, hoping Emily would appear any second now to end the lecture.

Because thats what it was, a lecture.

Dormon wasnt drunk so he wouldnt scream, but...

The man nodded slowly as if accepting the answer, then gave a small laugh, knowing something the boy didnt. "Oh, she's not up there." Connor looked back at him cautiously. "Had to run an errand." Dormon then raised an eyebrow. "Were you hoping? Saw both the cars and you were fuckin' hoping she would be down here to save your little ass, huh?"

Silence was his answer.

"So where were you this time?" he asked in that same calm voice, and if it had been anybody but him or if it had been Angel even, Connor wouldve replied in a heartbeat.

It was just a simple question.

But Dormon wasnt anybody else and he wasnt even close to being Angel.

Imagining it the vampire now standing in front of him, looming over him, trapping him in, and breathing practically down his neck didnt do the trick either.

This was Dormon.

Angel didnt have that semblance of rage when looking at his own child or the severity of anger when speaking to him, and would never do anything to put him on edge or make him feel uncomfortable, especially when trying to drive out an easy answer from him.

Plus, Angel already had that answer. Angel knew where he was last night. At that thought, Connor almost smiled.

But Dormon was far from being in a nice mood. "Well? Whats wrong with you, boy? Cant say shit anymore?" He straightened up, removing one of his hands from the wall. "Can only say 'no', now, huh? Bet he doesnt like that too much."

Connor didnt know the "he" Dormon was talking about or even understand what he was fixing to do as the second hand was pulled away and placed on his tightened shoulder, along with the other. The hold was rough and his "father's" fingers dug into his blades, not at all like how his real dad held him earlier that morning when seeing him off.

Angel had hugged him hard, but it wasnt to cause pain.

"Are you scared?" Dormon was saying as Connor focused back on him, not allowing his mind to wander off any further. The quicker he got Dormon satisfied or too angry to continue, the faster he could get upstairs and away from him.

After all, Dormon was a drunk, not abusive.

But...Dormon wasnt drunk yet...

"You dont look scared." Dormon's eyes raked over him, wandering up and down as if in thought. "Not of me atleast." He then leered. "Want to change that now?"

At hearing that, Connor's eyes widened and he attempted to flee to the safety of his bedroom, up the stairs atleast, but the hands moved and his front shirt collar was gripped fiercely as a hard smack was given to the side of his head.

Dormon laughed, holding him in place. "Where do you think youre fucking going, huh?" He delivered another slap but this time to the boy's cheek as Connor gasped and was flung back to the wall, struggling there while the other man held on tightly.

Another smack. "Afraid yet?"

/Slap/ "No?"

/Smack/- this time harder because Connor involuntarily reached for the fist on his shirt as dark bangs swished in front of his eyes. "How about now?"

/SLAM/ His back hit the wall.

It started from his knees, working its way up like a shiver, but shivers never left his body shaking like a leaf, as it reached his thighs then pooled into his belly as his stomach twisted and throat clenched. His fingers twitched from around Dormon's hand as the man looked him over again almost critically, but with an angry sneer.


Not abusive.

Not abusive...when drunk.

Not drunk.

"There we go. Feel better?"

Silence answered him again as he felt the boy try to feebly stop his body from trembling, lips clenched tightly shut and eyes hesitating on every spot of the man he took into view.

His 'father' bore down on him. "Where were you?" He asked once more.

"W-With friends." His voice was actually shaking, but he flinched again and was ashamed to find himself turning his face away as he saw Dormon raise his hand as if to strike anew.

"Try again."

"I-Im telling the truth. I was...I was at a friend's house." This time, he turned his neck fully to the side, expecting another hit, but Dormon lowered his palm and quickly snagged his chin, wrenching his face to look back into his.

"Are you telling me the truth?"

"Y-Yes." Connor inwardly cringed at how cowardly he sounded. Never before had he heard his voice come out so weak, not even when sobbing within the vampire's arms.

And he was so thankful the man wasnt there to see him now. He wouldntve been able to stand his real father seeing him act this way.

Be this way.

Dormon glared into the boy's blue eyes. "Are. You telling. Me. The truth?" He repeated, as if this was the last round and anything after would be decided on Connor's lone answer. He clenched the chin tighter making the Miracle wince when he didnt hear a quick enough response.


"You better be." Connor was instantly released and he sagged against the wall, flattening his palms behind him as his body still continued to shake. Dormon looked at him once more before straightening his tie and grabbing his car keys from his pocket as if nothing had taken place at all.

Connor finally stilled his body as he continued to gaze at the man in front of him, looking for any sign at all presented to him to bolt for the comfort of anywhere else but there.

Dormon suddenly spoke up, though, turning away and opening the door once more. "And you better hope to God that I believe you. Dont fucking step foot outside this house tonight."

/SLAM/ The door closed loudly behind him but Connor didnt move from his spot near the wall until he heard a car start up and drive away down the road. It was only then that his body truly relaxed and he almost slid down to the floor while trying to catch his breath.

And then froze in realization.

Dormon had raised a hand to him.

Never before had he done that. He drank and he screamed alot and he fought with Len, but he had never actually hit him like that. The push the day before caught him by surprise but he figured most people had been jostled around by an angry parent sometime in their lives.

But being hit like that...

He flicked loose bangs out of his eyes.

Angel would never hit him.

Angel would never touch him at all like that or speak to him that way.

-"I could never be angry with you around, not directed AT you, anyways. Just looking at you makes me happy, son. No matter what you do, I will never be angry with you. You have that much power over me and more."-

Remembering those words and suddenly lighthearted by thoughts of the other man, Connor stooped low and grabbed his things, darting up the stairs in a blink of an eye to quickly throw the presents he had bought in the closet and dirty clothes in the hamper by his desk. Keeping the tiny box of cologne in his hand, though, he opened it and brought it to his senses, smiling faintly as he was assailed with one of his father's scents, then pulled it away, silently laughing at how ridiculous he must look, smelling something of his dad's to hold him over until that night...

Then he grinned just thinking about it.

That night.

And the next night and the one after that.

No matter what Dormon said or how hard he hit, it wouldnt keep him away from the vampire. Nothing could stop him from seeing Angel. From being with Angel. Spending the nights at the Hyperion was the only thing he looked forward to now and no threats would stop him.

He wasnt scared.

Surprised, yes, but not scared.

Emily kept him there during the day. She was still his mother in some screwed up and twisted way and leaving, he knew, would hurt her. And he could never be afraid of her. She was probably the most gentle person he had ever known besides Angel...well, Angel when he was with him...

He wasnt afraid of Len. Len was creepy, but he had no substantial evidence to fear him, other than the fact Emily clearly showed she was frightened of the man.

He wasnt afraid of Dormon. He drank and he yelled, but that was nothing to be actually fearing.

Holtz had hit him alot. It wasnt something new.

Only something...unexpected.

But he wouldnt be afraid.

After all, his real father sacrificed alot to give him that life. He wouldnt ruin it by bursting the man's now happy bubble by informing him just exactly what kind of life he had given to his son.

No, he wasnt afraid. If anything, he was terrified of what would happen once Angel found out.

That was something to fear, not this.

And Angel would never forgive himself.

That would be the only thing to terrorize Connor. The only thing that could actually do a good job of putting the fear into him.

So he wasnt scared.

With that solidly in mind, he left the room and went down the stairs, but stopped dead upon seeing something he obviously overlooked in his haste for the false sanctuary.

Len passed out on the couch across from him.

Suppressing a shiver while looking at the man and ignoring the fact he was moving more quickly now than before, he was out of the house before he could comprehend leaving, silently pleased with himself at his crafty thinking.

Dormon had ordered him not to leave the house that night.

So he left the house that day.

Not that he actually cared to listen to his 'father' though.

He wasnt scared.

Not yet atleast.

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"I cant take this! It shouldnt be happening! The bastard has no right to touch me!" The boy was pacing furiously back and forth across the Hyperion's cold floor, face contorted in rage. "I should be with him! I should be with Angel!"

And then disbelief.

"But he has no right to hold me! I dont deserve all this! He needs better- he should have better, but I...I..."

Connor gazed at his double from across the room, still curled up in one of the corners next to the hotel's entranceway just like he had been when he first got there.

And had fallen asleep.

"He was selfish and just gave me away to them! I hate him!" The double still raged to himself then stopped with a strange look crossing over his features. "But I love him, too." He instantly dropped down in the middle of the floor, content smile clashing dangerously with his crazed eyes. "I love him. I wont deny it any longer." He looked down, a frown crossing over his face then. "You cant have hate without love to show the difference."

Connor continued to stare at the boy as the double sprawled on his back spread eagle, still carrying on the conversation with himself.

"I loved him. And he loved me. Why did I have to take it this far?" He looked sad as he took in the sights above him, then snarled out again, with much more contempt this time, though, "I hate him! I hate him for loving me! I dont deserve him! I want him! I love him! I hate him!"

Connor was silent, a part of him distant and not comprehending things going on around him, but the other part was listening intently to every word the boy said in front of him.

"Im not love." He raised an arm. "Youre not hate." He raised the other. "I feel hate and you feel love." He flexed his bony fingers, staring at them almost curiously. "You cant feel it. You feel others- fear, love, hurt, pain, anger even, but..." He looked over at his real form again. "Where's your hate for him?"

Connor only gazed back with equally blue eyes.

"Where's your hate for the people that will brutalize you?"


"That will torture you?"


"That will touch you and hurt you?"


"And where's your hate for all the things you've done to the only one that's ever loved you completely?" He raised his head a little, arms still raised above him, as he spoke, voice sounding surprised. "Do you even realize its gone?"

He waited and when he didnt receive a response, only a flinch of their gazes locking again, he dropped his head back to the bare floor, giving a small laugh, and like a powerswitch, the air around them filled and echoed with long-ago voices.


Strained cries.

The many poundings of footsteps.

Memories washed over the Hyperion, the power of it all like waves sloshing across the dark floor to wipe away clean the calmness both boys had been sitting in.

"I will show you what I remember."

His arms then flew to his sides as if held down by invisible straps and his body tensed and strained within his bounds, eyes growing wide.

But not with fear.

With the magic surrounding him.

He was preparing to let it happen all over again.


The Hyperion's doors flew open with the impact of several W&H crew members marching in quickly, a boy in the center of them all being held firmly by a still-pale looking man.

"In the middle of the circle!" Lilah barked out, pointing to the pentacle on the floor. "Place him on his back!" She stepped in the rest of the way, feeling a chill go up her spine at the irony of it all.

The most powerful place to do the ritual was actually in the vampire's home itself, a place he had tried to love the boy now being binded from it all.

A team of five were with her and she ordered each man to get into place. Grabbing the container of an unknown animal's sacrificial blood in it from one dark-suited soldier, she set to work, re-enacting the very circle the vampire had done months ago. Finished, she sighed, and pulled out the knife, stepped closer to the boy without actually being inside the circle, and halted, her dead body tensing as she finally came to grips with what was actually in front of her.

They had the Miracle Child in their grasp now, who was unconscious and given to them by the father himself.

A father she knew would level humanity and beyond in his rage once he found out what he had actually done and what they were about to do.

He had thought with one simple stroke of an anthem, his son would be saved and instantly be given happy memories, but...

Nothing was ever that easy.

-"Wolfram & Hart always makes good with their promises, Angel," Lilah was actually trying to console him, mentally cringing at the misuse of clashing words in the false statement she had just spoken. "Connor will be placed in a-"


She raised an eyebrow.

"Dont say his name," Angel almost growled out, looking away. He was doing something that went against everything inside him. Everything that was screaming and roaring in rage at the very idea of his son literally in the hands of the law firm's crew.

He had just given away the most precious gift ever bestowed upon him to his sworn enemies.

Lilah nodded, seeing the strong emotions in his eyes. "He will be alright, An-" She was cut off again as Angel held up a pale hand. He looked away from her, now focusing on what was just beyond him and completely out of his reach, probably forever.

"Youre not holding him right," he snarled at the man rearranging Connor in his arms, eyes spitting fire as the nervous guy in the black jumpsuit made himself out to be more innocent-looking and...gentle. The vampire gave a small nod when he saw his boy now looking more comfortably unconscious. He turned back to a smiling Lilah just as she held out her hand. He lifted his own, now realizing what was still clutched tightly in it.

The knife.

With Connor's blood on it.

The weapon he had used to slit his child's throat and allow the magic of the amulet to take effect as he placed it over the boy's head.

Remembering that, he also remembered Connor's eyes as he stared up at him for what he thought to be the last time. They had looked surprised, angry, and relieved all at the same moment.

Angel grit his teeth then quickly let the knife go to fall into the woman's palm. The thing had practically started to burn as he remembered all the things he had done that day.

"Where will you take him?" Angel tried to keep his tone steady.

Lilah smiled. "Home."-

Suddenly nervous, she glanced around then steeled her nerves as she saw the crew calmly watching.

Bending now, the knife was used once again, this time to the boy's chest, creating a slanted line going from directly over his heart to his belly button, but growing jagged at the end as the skin moved and stretched and tautened soon after.

Connor was waking up.

"Hold him down," Lilah ordered harshly, seeing the boy's eyes flutter. Then fly open. "But dont step into the circle or disrupt it."

Connor gasped in pain, looking confused at the calm and blank faces staring down at him, then grew enraged as he saw hands shoot out to grip a part of him and blood pooling on his own body from the slash across his chest and belly. "Let me go!" He screamed, voice deadly as he thrashed against the tight hold, head moving back and forth as he gave each man and woman a glare that could kill.

People now looked nervous, knowing the stories of Angel's Miracle Child, but each being given a glare from the dead woman, they forced themselves to hold tightly as Lilah straightened, reaching back into her pocket.

"How should we handle this?" One man asked, red hair plastered on a forehead that was dotted with sweat now as he struggled with the boy he once carried.

Lilah glared, effectively shutting him up. She pulled out the small piece of paper and unfolded it, preparing to read the small Latin words scrawled in red.

Words that were in league with the devil himself.

"Hold him steady," she ordered again as she leaned towards the boy's blood and dipped the knife into it, coating the whole of the silver blade. Connor flinched and snarled and even tried to bite her, knowing full well he was powerless to do anything else, but she kept going, now slathering the red liquid over the jewel that was in the center of the amulet. Pulling back, just as someone finally restrained Connor's head, she held the weapon high into the air, reading the words outloud.

Connor screamed again in rage, sensing magic fill the room as he was held down painfully.

"Ego vindicatum a pactum per diabolus!" She almost grimaced as she read, out of the corner of her eye, seeing the boy's eyes widen now in fear as he realized he wouldnt be able to escape before she finished. She continued, making sure to keep her voice steady.

"Ex atrum nutritor per letalis mens, Utor illa lacuna constrictum. Cruor quod vox quod pactum subpono, Utor is malum navitas constrictum!"

Looking now at Angel's only child who still struggled futilely, but not holding direct eye contact for too long, she shouted in a clear voice as if speaking to the whole room.


Connor yelled again, just hearing the name.


He snarled in a way that clearly reminded all that heard it of his vampire father, who had done the very same thing just hours before.


Two men went flying into the wall as one of Connor's arms swung free and there were shouts from the other crew members as they all scrambled to further hold the boy down to the dark floor as he tried to launch his body forward, but throughout all this, Lilah took no notice, as she sealed the deal with a name.

"Connor Angel!"

She stepped back in alarm as all the men around the circle were thrown across the room and the shrieking boy in the center was now held down by invisible means, body flung out and legs spread as his arms were clasped above his head, eyes widening in terror before closing on their own, consciousness leaving him as the binding took effect. From his wound, the blood turned black and from the circle, a grey tornado-like wall of evil magic burst forth, high enough to touch the ceiling, trapping in and hiding from view the sleeping son of a vampire with a soul.

Her hair blowing around and a fierce wind whipping her clothes against her body, she watched the dark grey cyclone until it was no more, disippitating slowly down at first then swirling back into the circle of blood around the now binded child.

The boy gave no indication of waking up again as she hesitantly moved closer, and looking down at him and his pale face, she couldnt help but think maybe this was what Angel saw everytime he looked upon his offspring. She knew he fought to protect him, but she never did understand before why he actually did it. Just because they were father and son and related by blood didnt explain why the vampire was so fierce in battle and so protective even when it came to the boy that was more willing to kill himself than love his father back.

Now she did, though.

She understood.

Lilah knew why Angel kept fighting and why he would always fight until the day he turned to dust or his most precious thing was taken away from him and destroyed.

Connor was beautiful.

And when he slept, his innocence showed, covering all the dark.

"Its done."

lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost lost

(A/N): Yeah, I wasnt spose 2 end it here, but Im going 2 anyways, kuz its gettin 2 long. Next chap is Angel/Connor interaction, Lorne stirs sum trouble, and a hint to what Dormon begins to do to the Miracle Child as he finishes off his bonding days with his vamp daddy. XD

Latin Translation from above:

-I claim a pact with the devil

From the Dark feeding off the damned, I use these words to bind. Of Blood and Power and contracts written, I use this Evil Energy to bind-

R/R if u wanna.