KISSING IN A TREE.

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Disclaimer: Gundam SEED does not belong to me. Ditto, the song. The original idea belongs to YunCyn. Done with author's permission.

Warning: Sorry if certain comments may offend you in some way. Non-yaoi, spur-of-the-moment, plotless fic. (Hey, it's humor. It's meant to be plotless.)

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One. CIC-Girl and Skygrasper-Pilot

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Miriallia and Tolle

Sitting in a tree!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

First, comes love!

Then, comes marriage!

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Dearka: Then, tolle gets beheaded by a flying carriage!

Milly: (glare) Dearka!

Tolle: I'll haunt you.

Dearka: (smirk) Fine. I'll call Reverend Malchio. Anyone up for some exorcism?

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Two. Evil-Girlfriend and Dumped-Boyfriend

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Flay and Sai,

Sitting in a tree!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

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Flay: Why the heck would I climb a tree? That would, like, totally ruin my dress!

All other cast members rolls their eyes.

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Three. Evil-Girlfriend and Genocidal-Masked-Man.

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Flay and Rau…

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Rau: (evil sneer) I don't go for girls who just hit their puberty. I may be genocidal but I'm not a pedophile.

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Four. Captain and Moebius-Pilot.

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Murrue and Mwu,

Sitting in a tree!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

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Mwu: (smirk) I'd choose a cozier place.

Murrue: Like weightless in space. (giggle)

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Five. Pretty-Lady and Coffee-Freak.

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Aisha and Andy,

Sitting in a tree!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

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Rau: (snicker) no wonder you get killed by that kid.

Andy: (defensive) Hey! I didn't get killed!

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Six. Chestless-Vice-Captain and Moebius Pilot.

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Natarle and Mwu,

Sitting in a tree!

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Murrue: (eyes flashing) That better be the only thing that they're doing there, all there'll be Lohengrins to fire!

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Seven. Chestless-Vice-Captain and Genocidal-Maniac.

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Natarle and Azrael,

Sitting in a tree!

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Orga: K-I-L-L-I-N-G!

Crot: First, comes "bang"!

Shani: Then, comes "ouchies!"

Druggies: Then, comes "boom!" from Gottfried's canons!

Murrue: That was…interesting.

Mwu: Knowing Azrael, that's highly romantic.

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Eight. Pianist-Pilot and Pilot-with-Self-Destruct-Fetish.

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Nicol and Athrun…

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Nicol: (twitch) Continue and I'll show you how it feels to get sliced in half inside the Blitz.

Athrun: I don't go for guys… or guys that look like girls, for that matter. No offense, Nicol.

Nicol: None taken.

Athrun: Maybe girls that look like guys, but never the other way around.

Cagalli: (twitch) What the hell do you mean by that?

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Eight. Hothead-Pilot and Cool-as-Hell-Pilot.

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Yzak and Dearka,

Sitting in a tree!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

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Yzak: (turning green) Oh, barf!

Dearka: (turning blue) Like hell I'll do that to a guy!

Other cast members shudder in thought.

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Nine. CIC-Girl and Cool-as-Hell-Pilot.

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Miriallia and Dearka,

Sitting in a tree!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

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Dearka: Now we're talking!

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First, comes love!

Then…

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Tolle: comes Milly with a knife! And finally Flay with a gun to blast your head off!

Kira: Woah. Makes you wonder how he managed to squeeze that into the song.

Sai: That's why it came out rather breathless.

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Ten. Evil-Girlfriend and Wimpy-Pilot.

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Flay and Kira,

Sitting in a tree!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

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Murdoch: Somehow, I don't think that's the only thing they're doing up there.

The rest of the Archangel crew nod their heads fervently with hentai smiles on their faces.

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Eleven. Songstress and Pilot-with-Self-Destruct-Fetish.

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Lacus and Athrun,

Sitting in a tree!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

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Athrun: (blushing/looking around for Cagalli) I would never do that!

Lacus: For starters, Athrun doesn't know how to climb a tree!

The rest of the cast feel sweat drops forming at the back of their heads.

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Twelve. Tomboyish-Princess and Wimpy-Pilot.

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Cagalli and Kira,

Sitting in a tree!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

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Kira: What! She's my twin sister! And she's younger than I am! That's incest!

Cagalli: (bonks Kira in the head) Idiot! I'm older!

Kuzzey: (thoughtful look) But it could be possible in an Alternate Universe.

Cagalli: Well, we're in -this- universe! (bonks Kuzzey in the head)

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Thirteen. Wimpy-Pilot and Pilot-with-Self-Destruct-Fetish.

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Kira and Athrun,

Sitting in a tree!

K-I-S…

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Athrun: (green) Oh, that is just sick!

Kira: (shudder) Yeah! And didn't Lacus tell you? Athrun can't climb a tree!

Athrun: HEY!

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Fourteen. Songstress and Wimpy-Pilot.

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Lacus and Kira,

Sitting in a tree!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

First comes love!

Then comes marriage!

Then comes Haro in a baby carriage!

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Kira: (wide-eyed) WHAT? WHY A HARO!

Lacus: Oh, isn't that just sweet and precious?

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Saved the best for last. Tomboyish-Princess and Pilot-with-Self-Destruct-Fetish.

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Cagalli and Athrun,

Sitting in a tree!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

First comes love,

Then comes marriage,

Then comes a baby in a baby carriage!

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Athrun is love-struck and starry-eyed.

Cagalli, ditto.

Azrael: Well, just wait until you watch Destiny!

Azrael gets blasted by Strike Rouge's and Justice's most powerful weapons… along with pitchforks from fervent Athrun-Cagalli supporters.

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Author's Notes: I have nothing against yaoi. It's just not my cup of tea. If you were somehow offended, I apologize in advance. This is entirely for humor. But it wouldn't hurt to receive reviews. Flames are… flames. I think I've just proven just how much I love the Athrun-Cagalli pairing.