Thank you to ALL my reviewers and to ALL my readers!
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J. K. Rowling. I just bring them out to play every once in a while.
Thank you to Merlin, GoldenSunnyGrl, and Malombra for being such great BETA'S.
AU. Harry/Draco pairing.
Summary: A night out proves to have more consequences and rewards than just a good time and a massive hangover. Part 2.
Have you ever been alone? Really and truly alone. Pain, I can handle. Hurt, not a problem. But being alone, destroys me.
I have been alone most of my life, from the day I was set on that damned doorstep to the day I stood before a madman and fulfilled my own personal vengeance. Alone, always alone.
I can stand in a group of people, converse with them, look at them, be with them, but still I am alone.
I wanted to be alone for as long as I could remember and the few times I let someone in, they died. So, I stayed alone. Alone.
Darkness seeped into my soul. I let it. I know that we, as humans, needed contact with others to feel whole, alive. I'd rather be alone. Cooped up in a little room by myself with only the monotonous sound of the fan running to keep the air circulating the only sound.
I'd stare for hours at nothing. My friends, or the ones I let get close enough to call themselves my friends, would never stay for long in my room. I liked my room. It felt as alone as I did.
Years passed like that. Me, alone. Alone.
Then one day I woke to an angry voice. It was Ron. Always with the yelling, was Ron. I could never get him to understand that a soft quiet voice could be more dangerous and scary than yelling so loudly and strongly that his face got this unbelievable shade of red. Very ugly.
"What's the matter Potter? Finally figured out that you are nothing?"
I had been nothing for so long that this comment didn't bother me. It was who made the comment that did. Draco Malfoy. The only one who could banish my loneliness. And just another in a long line that wanted to see me dead. I showed nothing, as usual, but Hermione felt me stiffen, I know she did.
They knew, about my loneliness, and why I stayed that way. Probably more than I did. It had taken months of fighting before I would let them in close enough to really know what was going on. They broke through my alone. I hated them, and loved them, for it.
When Sirius died a part of me did as well. I didn't want to talk about it and no matter how much Hermione pushed I still refused to let her in any more than she already was. This was my life, damn it. I wanted to be alone and to hell with both of them.
I never let them know just how much I appreciated them. I couldn't, it just wasn't in me.
Being alone, made me indifferent, cold, hard. Things I hadn't wanted for myself. Of course, I always thought I was going to die in that cupboard under the stairs, so this was just a small improvement. I was going to die, just not of old age or beatings from my Uncle Vernon.
No, I was going to die a painful death, probably. I was pretty sure Voldemort was not going to go easy on me. I expected hexes and curses before the faint green light took me away. Hell, if I could I'd give myself that green light. Make all the worries and fears go away. And leave everyone in a pinch! NO, not Harry Potter. The Golden Boy wouldn't do that.
No matter if he wanted it with every fiber of his being.
Harry wouldn't give up. It was the reason he was here. Though not his reason, it was a reason. And we all needed reasons.
Last year he had decided that he needed a place to go to, to be someone else. To get away and not have to worry about anything.
So, he bought a warehouse in Hogsmeade and opened 'The Place'. 'The Place' was were you could get anything that you wanted. Anything. Hermione scolded and pried and literally pissed him off so badly that he finally told her what he did. To his surprise, both she and Ron, approved.
He guessed that they did know him better than he thought they did.
He had made it by invitation only so that he knew who was going to be there each night. That way he could make sure no one who knew him was there when he was. He could have disillusioned himself, but he didn't want to. He was Harry-scar and all.
'The Place' gave him the chance to let go. To dance and drink and party. He still found himself alone. Oh, there were plenty of guys there, just not the one he wanted. So, alone he stayed.
He didn't remember the exact day that he knew he was in love with the other boy. It wasn't an epiphany or anything like that. He had been sitting in his room, alone, and just thought it would be nice if the other boy was there. It was all downhill from there. It grew in his mind until Harry hated being alone and longed for the blonde's long arms and legs to be wrapped around him.
If he had known he was going to be there that night, he would have stayed away. When he saw him standing there, surprised look on his beautiful face, it took all of Harry's will power not to go over there and crush that delightful body close to his. Instead, he let his attention be drawn away by another and tried to loose himself in the other boy's body as it pressed eagerly into his.
He willed himself to dance with the boy he hadn't even caught the name of, as he watched Draco leave his table. He lost sight of him in the crowd and with a sigh left the boy he had been dancing with without a backward glance.
He ignored Draco's friends, even though he heard Pansy call his name, he flew past the men standing guard at the bottom of the stairs. He was seeing red by the time he slammed into his office. He paced for a few minutes as his anger and hurt grew. With a snarl of hurt and fury, he grabbed the paperweight from his desk and threw it against the wall. The satisfying sound of shattering glass was loud in the silence of the room.
"Temper tantrum much?" Came the amused voice from the doorway.
Harry whirled around to see Ron and Hermione standing there, both with raised eyebrows and smirks on their faces.
"What is he doing here?" Harry cried, pain and something else in his voice. "He's not suppose to be here tonight."
"The invitations don't have a specific night on them, Harry. He can come anytime." Hermione's voice was soft as she tried to calm him down.
"Why tonight though?" Harry whined.
"Uh, mate? What's so special about tonight?" Ron asked as clueless as ever.
"Because, Ron dear, our friend Harry here wanted to 'relieve himself of some frustrations'." Hermione said with a laugh.
"Damn you Mione." Harry said as he flushed bright red.
Ron laughed with Hermione. "Why don't you go after him then?"
"I can't." Harry said as he turned to stare out the window even though it was dark outside and the only thing on the other side of the window was another brick wall.
"Of all the…Harry, you won't know unless you try." Hermione said as she threw her hands up at her stubborn friend.
"You really are blind, aren't you Ron?" Hermione asked. She ignored Ron's indignant sputtering to stomp to Harry and turn him to face her. "Why not?"
"Because I-" Harry shook his head and then sighed. "Have you seen him?"
"See him everyday, mate. Pointy little git, isn't he?" Ron said as he crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at Harry.
"What?" Harry looked at Ron in shock. He missed Hermione's proud look towards her boyfriend. "He's not pointy!"
"Sure he is. And pale, and short, and -" Ron stopped as a wand appeared pointed directly at his nose.
"I would suggest," Harry's voice was cold, "that you stop right there."
"Harry! Put the wand down." Hermione yelled at Harry.
Ron gazed at Harry with understanding in his eyes and said softly, "this passionate and you've never even kissed him. Imagine if you had."
"You bastard!" Harry whispered harshly. The pain on his face was easy to see and it broke his friends hearts to see it.
"Why can't you give it a chance, Harry?" Ron voice was still soft as he watched his friend and the wand still pointed at him.
"I can't." Harry said in defeat as he lowered his wand all the way.
"You hurt and he can make it all better but you won't take the chance. Why?"
"I killed his father, Ron! His mother is in St. Mungo's because of me. He hates me." Harry cried out in anguish.
"You didn't kill his father, Harry." Ron said harshly, "I did. I am the one that cast the curse that made him fall from the cliff, not you."
Harry looked startled before he shook his head. "I did that."
"No, Harry," Hermione placed a hand on Harry's shaking shoulder. "Ron did. You were nowhere near Lucius Malfoy when he died."
"But I…he was there because of me." Harry insisted even if the other two knew he was wrong.
"Yes, but you didn't kill him." Hermione pointed out gently.
"His mother-" Harry stopped speaking when Ron held his hand up.
"Was tortured by Voldemort. Once again you are taking the blame for things you had no hand in." Ron's voice was still gentle but it was clear he was getting tired of the argument.
"He wants you Harry." Hermione threw out there while Harry was distracted.
"What?" Harry's face was confused as he tried to take in what she had said.
"He wants you."
"How do you know that?"
"Pansy. She stopped me as we were following you. He thought you were straight."
"Do I look straight?" Harry exclaimed.
"Nope, you look like a poncy git. Of course you look straight! If you hadn't of told me I would never believe it." Ron snapped.
"He thinks I'm straight?" The confused look on his face was actually funny but neither Ron nor Hermione were going to laugh. Not at this point anyway.
"Oh. That's all? Oh."
"What the hell am I suppose to say, Mione?" Harry yelled. "Gee it's great that he's gay and all but that still doesn't change the fact that he hates me!"
"He does not! Harry, get the cotton out of your ears and listen to me. He likes you but thinks you are straight. And if you don't take this chance I will have no course but to think that you are a big chicken!" Hermione was screaming at him.
There was silence in the room for a few shocked seconds before Ron snorted in amusement.
"Think that's funny don't you?" Harry snarled at Ron.
"Yeah, I do." Ron said as he broke out into laughter.
It was only when Hermione started to giggle too that Harry let go of his anger and let out a small laugh.
"I hate you both." Harry muttered as he sat down on the edge of his desk, shoulders slumped in defeat. This was what happened when you let people in. They invade your space and laughed at you. Harry desperately wanted to be alone right now. He didn't know it but his face showed exactly that.
"Talk to him." Hermione said quietly.
"And say what?" Harry questioned sadly.
"Hi is usually a good starting point." Ron said with a small grin. Hermione sighed as she saw Harry's face fall.
"I need…could you guys give me a few minutes?" Harry said as he sighed and slumped his shoulders.
Ron nodded and walked to the door. Before opening it he said quietly, "don't let us be the thing stopping you, Harry."
Harry smiled weakly at Ron, "I am the one stopping me, Ron, but thanks."
Ron nodded and opened the door.
"If you weren't so stubborn and just told him. You wouldn't be hurting right now." Hermione said with a slow shake of her head as she walked to the door.
"Herm, leave him alone." Ron said.
"Why, Ron? So, he can continue to mope around. I'm sick of it." Hermione snapped.
"Guys…stop." Harry said pleadingly. "It doesn't matter anyway. He's with Pansy or Blaise. Whichever, he's not free."
"Why should that stop you Harry?" Hermione asked. "You know from Dumbledore that he was on our side. You have had a crush on him since fifth year. Do something about it already, damn!"
Harry walked his friends to the door with the intention of going back in there and locking himself in so that he could get roaring drunk. A gasp from Hermione had him walking out of the door. Draco stood there facing the now silent trio.
The silence lengthened before with a snort Hermione grabbed Ron's arm and dragged him away. Draco was watched Harry intently. But, as usual, there was nothing on Harry's face. He had gotten so good at showing nothing that it was an automatic thing the second he saw Draco.
Harry watched as Draco sneered and looked at him for a few more seconds before snarling, "whatever", and walking away. Harry watched him turn and could feel his body move before he even thought to tell it too. Draco had only taken a few steps before Harry grabbed him from behind and pressed into his back.
"Come inside with me." Harry whispered onto his neck where he had rested his lips the second their bodies connected. His body was singing and it felt right to have the blonde in his arms.
"Why?" Draco shivered as the tip of Harry's tongue touched his neck.
"Talk." Harry didn't give him time to question.
Draco turned himself in Harry's arms to look him in the eyes. For seconds they searched each others eyes and finally found what they were looking for. Beneath the hard exterior, Draco saw a softness that was directed at him and Harry saw the longing that he had wanted to see for so long. They were each dropping their mask for each other.
"Harry?" Draco whispered.
"Draco, please." Harry whispered back and Draco nodded.
They turned to enter the room, not knowing what was on the other side, but knowing that the other was beside him was enough.
Ya'll wanted another and here it is.
Please check out the co-authored story by me and Merlin. It's called 'Wishmasters' and it is now on my account.
I want to thank each and every one of you readers that was patient with me. And those that were not too!
I hope that each of you that read my stories will be able to take something from it to help you. They say a great writer doesn't write for themselves but for those that read. I feel that I am one of those that do that.
Thank you again.