Author: Bright Eyes
Summary: One ghost in the carnage of the Second War.
Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter I would have my own personal roller coaster. (Uh…I don't have a roller coaster).
Word Count: 512 (not including summaries etc.)
Spoilers: HBP implied idea's but not spoilers.
A/N: Just a one shot. My inspiration comes from the ghosts of Hogwarts who I have always found rather depressed. Except in the movies where they have seemed rather…cheerful…?
Dead Wizards. Dead Wiches. Dead Children. Dead Muggles.
And those stuck in the middle.
My father always said to me, 'the world is not black and white, it is many shades of grey.' Voldemort is the darkest grey of them all. He loves Hogwarts and always will.
It was these words that I always feared most.
It meant I could be a mixture of Dark and Light. Choice like this scared me, especially when it came from my father.
I was one of those who were stuck in the middle.
I feared death.
I feared the future.
And now I am forever trapped here, on the battlefield of the Second War.
With no company because I was the only one who feared death.
I was afraid.
The Mighty Dragon. The Serpent Child. The Prince of Slytherin.
It didn't matter to Voldemort what these titles stood for in Hogwarts. Voldemort only wanted faithful servants.
I feared becoming each and every one of these.
I feared dying.
I feared defeat.
I now fear eternity.
All of the Light were willing to die for the death of Lord Voldemort.
All of the Dark were willing to die for the rise of Lord Voldemort.
I was selfish and insecure and didn't want to leave the world of the living.
I didn't want to go to go to Hell, where I would burn in the almighty fires at the gates.
Or perhaps it would be cold and desolate.
A place of isolation, where you could look up and see the joys of Heaven above you.
Tearing you apart.
Bit by bit.
Piece by piece.
But I shall never know.
I am now a ghost.
A mere mockery of human life.
A shadow of what I once was.
A figment that will now only ever survey what the world has become, never being able to participate.
What I always wanted in my youth, but now fear beyond everything.
I never considered that being alone meant being surrounded by dead.
Those I hated.
Those I loved.
I was alone, yet wizards and witches surrounded me.
I remember floating.
It was a surreal feeling, so different to being on a broomstick like in my youth.
It was like being seated on a cloud, gradually rising up. Memories of my past swirling around me, all blurring together like a hurricane was blowing.
I saw my entire life.
I saw every last horrible thing I ever did. Some cruel, some heartbreaking.
All telling me that I was awful. Horrible. Unworthy of what lay beyond.
I heard laughing. The hurricane stopped blowing.
The memories stopped swirling.
And that is now what I am left with.
The memory of every horrible thing I have ever done.
I can now understand why ghosts are so sad and broken.
They are stuck with every negative moment of their lives.
I know I am a terrible person.
I know I was a terrible person.
And I am now stuck that way for an eternity.
A/N: Please leave me any comments. It still probably has some flaws that I have to fix up, but I was struck by inspiration when I was meant to be writing Hush and got distracted. Hope you enjoyed it. Feedback is MUCH appreciated.