Sometimes When We Touch

Summary: After the poem, Max has a few questions that need some answering.

Disclaimer: Only are they mine when I dream about them! And are those mighty fine dreams... The song "Sometimes When We Touch" is by Dan Hill.

Spoilers: "Shorties in Love" before "Pollo Loco"

A/N: I absolutely love reviews so, even if it's bad, I would love to hear from you! plaidtiger@hotmail.com

~~

Max's POV:

He wrote a poem about me. "Forever Eyes, dark, somebody's angel." I like his "vulnerable and completely exposed" side. I shouldn't, but I do. During my little talk with Original Cindy I realized that I need him. This poem has also helped to bring me to that realization. I need Logan if I am going to make it through this mess I seemed to have so willingly gotten myself into. But it's all good, right? So no matter what happens to me, good will prevail in the end. But those friends of mine will be what keeps me strong and able to endure it.
-
"It's worth noting while you're right, my mission is saving the world, it doesn't mean that I don't worry about you," Logan said.

"Worry accomplishes nothing. But it's nice to know that you think of me as more than your own private cat burglar," I said smiling a bit.

"Way more!" He replied, nudging my shoulder.

"Can I take that to mean that my name show up now and then in those little poems of yours?"

"Without stipulating to the admission that I actually do, in fact, write poetry...maybe."

"Maybe, huh?" I paused for a moment, "I can level with that for a couple of days!"
-
As I think back upon that conversation now, I realize that he was really trying. His attitude is so much different now than he was a couple weeks ago. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings by walking out like I did. But if I had stayed, I would have done something totally irrational. Something that I wasn't prepared to deal with at that moment in time. I might be able to deal with that now, but I have many questions that are left unanswered right now. I should ask him. But what if what I have to say he will disown me for? Then again, he did say that he thought about me 'way more' than the legwork for his mission. His poem, I will never forget that. Even if I never get to see him again, with that poem I will be able to survive.

I guess it's time to head on over to Logan's. I'm sure he will be awake. I know it's really late, but he's probably working on his Eyes Only stuff. Like trying to figure out how he's going to bring down Lempkin since I didn't get the disks to him. I think I'll take the long way to his place though so I can get up the courage to talk to him. Zack and 'Deck wouldn't be too pleased now would they? I'm not supposed to let my emotions cloud my judgement and I'm supposed to trust only myself and not be scared of anything. What were they thinking? A girl is going to have any emotion imaginable towad any person she wishes, whether she was trained against it or not. But I've never been scared of anything before. Why am I starting now? Maybe this is a good kind of scared. Whatever.

~~

Logan's POV:

Why did I have to share that poem with her? I should have shared the one about daisies in the springtime rather than the one about her. I didn't want to scare her away. It was so hard for me to open up like that and then she ran away. I thought I always did the right thing. I guess I thought wrong. Scratch that. I WASN'T thinking. I probably couldn't have been more stupid. Right now I need to go reflect on the events of the past couple of days. I will turn on some soft music and watch TV or something. I don't want to go near my computer right now. Imagine that, me not wanting to go near my computer.

Hey look, there's a movie on. Maybe I'll get into it and forget all my mistakes. Actually, Sabrina isn't exactly something that will take my mind off this. Linus didn't exactly make the best decisions either. The ending turned out nicely though. Maybe this ordeal will have a happy ending also. I think I'll turn it off. The music idea sounded nice.

"Hey!"

What the- "Max? I thought you left and weren't coming back for awhile." When did she show up?

"Guess again. Mind if sit next to you?" She's so beautiful. I don't know what I would do if I lost her.

"By all means. What's up?"

"I got to thinking after I left, did I hurt you by walking away so abruptly? Please answer truthfully."

Answer truthfully, I can't. Not now. If I do, what will she think of me? I wrote what I felt in my poem and when she read it she left. I don't want her to leave again. It would break my heart. She's still waiting. Maybe she won't leave.

"It's okay. I understand if you needed to leave. No harm was done." Right Logan, she's not going to believe that. You didn't even sound convincing to yourself.

"I'm sorry. I did need to leave, but I didn't mean to hurt you. That is the last thing that I would want to do." She sent me a bit of a smile. I love it when she smiles at me.

"Like I said, no harm was done."

"I don't believe you." She paused, not knowing if she should go on. She knows me too well. How did I let her get this close to my heart? "I need to talk to you. Do you have the time, or should I wait till morning?"

"Now's fine." What would she want to talk to me about?

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Us."

Whoa. That was quite unexpected. She seems a bit hesitant. But then, this is a bit of a touchy subject. I probably look more aprehensive than she. "What aspect of 'us' do you want to be talking about? The business part, or the not-so-businesslike part." Please say business. Not that I know what we would be talking about there, I just don't want to get into the 'where do I rank in your life right now' type of discussion. After the 'nobody forgets their first love' deal I didn't think that we would be getting to something like this for a while.

"Logan, did you hear me? I said the not-so-businesslike part." She looks confused. "Are you feeling okay? You were spacing on me."

"Th..the n..not-so-businesslike part?" Why did I have to say it like that? I sounded scared. I *never* stutter.

She looks thoughtful. I would give everything to know what she is thinking at this moment. Maybe she's debating about what to tell me. Although I don't know what could be so...oh. Maybe I do. I don't want to get into that discussion right now. Then why did I let her read my poem?

"Do you love me?"

Oh my goodness. Did she just ask me that? That was not Max. I must have heard somthing wrong. "What?" Maybe if she repeats herself I will hear what she actually said instead of my imagination speaking.

"Do you love me?" She didn't sound impatient, but she started to sound apprehensive.

I think I'll go turn that music on now. I've got a good one by Dan Hill. I know it's not Sebilious, but it'll work.

"Where are you going? We are in the middle of a discussion." She demanded.

"I'll be right back, I'm going to turn on some music."

~~

My POV:

Logan wheeled back to the couch and positioned himself so he was sitting next to Max.

~*~
You ask me if I love you and I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you on what you say or do
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much and I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer, still trapped within my truths
A hesitant prize fighter still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much and I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to hold you and drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through and hold you endlessly
At times I understand you and I know how hard you've tried
I've watch while love commands you
and I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters, still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister, but then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
the honesty's too much and I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till I die
till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
~*~

"Can I answer your question now," he asked, wiping away the tears that had begun to fall down Max's delicate face.

She nodded.

"I...I need you more than anything else in my life. I will be here for you always." He grabbed a book of poetry off the table in front of them and opened it up to 'She Walks In Beauty'. "After meeting you, this became one of my favorites." He began to read the poem aloud to her:

"She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!"

"That is beautiful," she whispered. "I've heard that before, by Lord Byron isn't it? It reminded you of me?"

"Anything beautiful reminds me of you." He replied pleasently, brushing the hair away from her face. He gazed at her face etching every curve, every color, every detail forever into his memory.

A tear slid down her face again. "I need you too Logan. Forever."

He took her in his arms and held her close. "You are my angel."