Title: Chronicles of Alexandra Cabot
Disclaimer: Law & Order: Special Victims Units and all its characters belong to NBC and Dick Wolf.
Warnings: Pretty angsty.
Summary: A series of random pieces about Alexandra Cabot, post-Witness Protection.
Spoilers: "Loss", "Ghost"
Author's Notes: Enjoy!
1. No One
I walk down the streets of New York once again. It feels different, yet the same. People say the city is always changing, but it's so subtle you don't notice it. Before, I would have taken a taxi, but not now. Now I want to see the city, smell the city. As I near the stationhouse, my breathing gets faster. I take a couple of deep breaths, and say to myself, in my best prosecutor voice, It'll be fine. It will be fine.
I open the doors, and walk up the stairs, everything feeling wonderfully familiar. I walk fast, and no one notices me. Not like they would. With the black hair dye, and green contacts, you can't tell it's me, unless you really look.I'm standing in front of the doors to the squadroom. I'm nervous, even though I've been waiting for this since they told me I was free to go.
I gather up my courage, and push through the doors. Olivia and Elliot are sitting at their desk, pouring over paperwork. Neither notice me come in. Munch and Fin's desks are empty. My heart skips a beat, but I look closer, and breathe a sigh of relief. Their nameplates are still on the desks.
"Hello," I say tentatively.
They both look up. Olivia stands up, and says,
"I'm Detective Benson. May I help you?"
There's no sense of recognition in her eyes at all. My heart breaks. Maybe Elliot will help.
"Is Captain Cragen available?" I ask, directing the question at him.
"No, he's out," Elliot stands up and says, "but you could leave a message for him, if you'd like." No emotion in his eyes either. My heart aches.
"No, but thank you. I'm sorry I interrupted you," I say, and hurriedly leave.
I run down the steps at a brisk pace, trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to spill from my eyes. I rush out into the cold New York air. I hail a taxi, get inside, give the driver the address of my hotel on the other side of town, and sit back.
They didn't recognize me. How could they not recognize me? My best friends don't recognize me.
Maybe they've forgot about me. Maybe they're perfectly happy without me, and don't need me coming back, and screwing things up.
Maybe if I dyed my hair blonde again, and took out the contacts…
No, I won't. If they didn't recognize me now, they probably don't want me back. I'll just hop on a plane, and fly somewhere. I guess…I guess you really can't go home again.
The taxi stops. I get out and hand the driver a wad of cash, not caring about the amount. I run up the front steps of the hotel, brushing past the doorman. I take the elevator up to my floor, reach in my purse, and hastily grab my key. I slide it in, and open the door. I sit down on the bed, tears streaming down my face.
-Back At The Precinct-
"Hey, El," Olivia says, looking up from her mountain of paperwork.
"Yeah?" I reply, meeting my partner's deep brown eyes.
"Didn't you think that there was something…off…about that woman that dropped by here today?" Olivia questions, as she gets up and walks around to my side of the desk, and perches on the tip.
"Yeah, I guess. But it is New York, Liv."
She laughs. I missed hearing her laugh. "True. But, for a minute there, I could have sworn it was Alex."
"Liv, it couldn't have been. The feds have her locked away in the program."
"I know. I know." She replies.
I stand up, and sit next to her on the desk. "I see her, sometimes." I say. "In a crowd, or at the mall. I see her face, but when I look again, it's gone."
"It happens to me, too." Olivia confesses. "A lot, at first. Less now, but it still happens sometimes. I think it's because we don't know where she is, and she could be right under our noses, and we wouldn't know it."
There was a moment of silence, and then Olivia speaks.
"I miss her."
"I do, too." I say.
-At The Hotel-
I miss them, I thought. I miss them so much.
Please tell me your thoughts on this. Is it great? Do I suck horribly? Should I continue? Do tell.