Evangelion Omake Files
Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.
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It had been a quiet week in Tokyo-3 since the death of the Eighth Angel. School had been boring, Misato had been drinking, Asuka had been yelling, Rei had been doing nothing, and Shinji had been listening to his SDAT way too often to be healthy.
Of course, the boredom had also resulted in where they were now.
Kensuke—proving that he wasn't just a supreme fan of military toys—somehow had convinced Misato to bring all three EVA pilots to an Anime Convention being held in Tokyo-3.
No one mentioned that that was because the rates had become so cheap lately, like the town had problems—such as giant beings from above trying to level it every month or so.
So now, all three pilots were standing around inside their plug suits, while Shinji and Asuka were rubbing their writing hands, as they had spent the last four hours signing autographs.
Well, that was why Shinji's hand was sore. Asuka was sore because one Asuka-fan had decided to make a costume and dressed like her. It would have been flattering, had the person not been thirty-seven, male, and weighed close to four hundred pounds.
Red was not his color.
"You ask her!"
"Not after what she did to Gakushi!"
Asuka turned towards them, tired of whatever they were talking about. "What the hell do you idiots want?" she nearly screamed.
The first one, a boy with black hair and brown eyes coughed, trying to force the courage to speak to her. "Um...my name is Daigo, and we were wondering if you are related to Kyoko Soryu?"
Asuka's face lost all color. "I...well..."
Rei decided to fill in for her. "Yes, her mother's name was Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu."
Asuka turned as if slapped, to face Rei. "How dare you tell them that, Wondergirl!"
"Wow, man," said the boy who would later be identified as Sakito, "she even has a partner named Wondergirl, just like her Mom!"
That stopped Asuka's rage. "What are you talking about?"
Misato was also wondering, as she had never been able to learn much about Asuka's mother, and even less about her Father.
"Um, you don't know about your Mother's career?"
"Sure I do," spat out Asuka, "she was a homebody."
The two boys blinked. Sakito spoke. "Well, she was probably enjoying her retirement, she did star in a lot of stuff."
Misato blinked. If Asuka's mother was an actress, it certainly would go a long way into explaining the attitude of the Second Child. "So, what was she? A movie star, a voice for anime, a stage performer?"
The two boys blinked again, but motioned for the group to follow, as they were led deeper into the Pit of Horror...I mean, deep into the back of the Anime FanCon. They followed, even as they entered the Hentai section, each person of the group with the exception of Rei believing they were just taking a shortcut.
Until, that is, they arrived at a booth with—
"WHAT?" screamed Asuka, as Misato and Shinji's mouth met the floor.
Before them, was a booth specializing in Kyoko Soryu: porn star and voice actress for Japanese Hentai Anime.
Daigo was looking at the video selection, before pulling out one DVD title. "Here we go, the first part of her twenty video series: "Red and Wondergirl Do Minsk".
Misato took the DVD and looked at the redhead on the cover. "It's Asuka's mom, alright."
"My Mother was a saint, she wasn't a slut!"
Rei wondered over to the wall and looked at the varying titles. "Why is this material at an Anime FanCon?"
Sakito took a teacher's pose. "Well, she was so popular for all her work, it just didn't seem right not to have her complete works on hand." Not like I'm going to tell them the truth: that most FanCon attendees have obsessions for porn as well.
It was then that Rei turned to Misato. "Captain, am I to be ordered to help Asuka follow in her maternal parent's footsteps, since she has already chosen me for the next Wondergirl?"
She just received a death glare from Asuka. "Stay out of this, First!"
"Wow," said the guy manning the booth. "She sounds just like Akane from Neon Genesis Evangelion!"
That caused everyone in the group to blink again.
The guy looked at them. "Well, it wasn't a very well known anime. I mean; who would believe a bunch of teenagers piloting living machines with their parents' souls inside them fighting creatures that want to turn the whole human race into tang."
Misato grabbed the bridge of her nose. "Oh, I do not like where this is headed."
Sakito smacked his fist into his hand. "Oh, I remember that one. It had that cloned girl named Rei and the commander's son was named Keitaro, who was basically made into a huge wussy so that his Father could use him to help end the world."
Keitaro...I mean, Shinji paled, as Rei experienced her first eye twitch.
Asuka, by this time, had ceased functioning upon receiving undeniable proof that her mom had been a porn star. No wonder the bitch wouldn't tell me who my Father was; I doubt even she knew!
Finally, the guy sold them the whole Kyoko set, which had been the only way they could get the Evangelion series that she had been a voice actor in. "You know," he said, "this series has always had bad luck. First there was some guy who stalked the voice actresses, then he broke into the guy's home and stole some old scrolls that the writer got the idea for the series from. Man, the anime community really hates the stalker, he made the voice actress for Rei quit. Man, and that Yui Ikari had a sweet voice."
"WHAT?" cried out Shinji.
Misato, wisely, decided to keep quiet about one title she had found in the live porn section of Kyoko's work: "Something About Yui". Although she did plan to check on the one character on the cover that looked suspiciously like Ritsuko's mother.
Thus, they left with the huge package of DVDs, dragging Shinji out who was still loudly proclaiming that his Mother had been a holy saint and delivered him via Immaculate Conception.
After watching the entire Evangelion series, the group was stunned. The series had directly paralleled their lives, minus the gratuity sex scenes. While they had been crudely made and often looked more like cheap puppets, the Angels had even resembled what had been used in the series.
Misato just sat staring at the TV, her beer now warm. "I just don't believe it. I mean, how...why...what...?"
Asuka could only stare as well, her arguments about her porn-star mother forgotten for the moment, despite the fact that Rei had watched several of the "Red and Wondergirl" series while the others had taken a break to clear their minds from seeing friends die, cities destroyed, and the gratuitous sex that apparently they should have been having during the time they were going through the Angel Wars. She was more concerned about losing herself to the Fifteenth, getting her ass handed to her by the others, and the fact that apparently Shinji was supposed to have a thing for a partial clone of his own Mother. FREAKS!
Shinji just stared at what he had learned. I need to get drunk...now...and stay that way.
Rei looked emotionless, but her mind was far from calm. How dare the Commander do this to me. By my calculations, I should have become one with Shinji-kun seventy-five times from our introductions to now. If he followed this scenario, we would have all been happier. Why has he not? Then she would consider what the other videos showed her. Does Asuka wish to become one with me and Shinji-kun as well? Her actions do mirror those of her Mother in several of those videos, but I have no desire to beat Shinji-kun with a whip, or handcuff him to a bed.
PenPen was just pissed because no one had fed him that day or yesterday, as they had been watching the videos for the last three days.
Misato and the others headed towards the table, trying to figure out what to do, while Shinji set about making a meal, including one for the penguin who had taken Misato's gun and was constantly prodding said boy with it.
"I still don't believe it," said Asuka.
Shinji looked at her. "What, just because we didn't have sex in the entry plug after we killed the Sixth Angel?"
Misato sighed. "It wasn't like we had sex after stopping Jet Alone, and I don't believe you and Rei had it after defeating the Fifth."
"No, Shinji and I did not engage in intercourse after the defeat of the Fifth Angel." Rei, however, was seriously feeling gypped, and planning on informing the Commander of said feelings...violently. So entranced in her own thoughts, Rei had not noticed she was eating the meat Shinji had prepared for the meal.
Shinji just blushed, not wanting to be a pervert, but wishing that his life had been like Keitaro's had been. Sure, during Third Impact he had been pretty well mind-fucked, but he still had a happy life to that point, doing just about every female working in NERV, and even stealing his Father's comfort woman. "Do you really think Dr. Akagi is sleeping with my Father?"
"Not at the current moment," said Rei. "They are not scheduled for another rendezvous until tomorrow night."
Shinji just dropped his head onto the table, shaking the meal. He had learned too much in the last few days not to seriously question if it was time to consider medication or a bullet, so he really didn't want to learn of his Father's sex life.
That was, until he felt Rei lift him up from the table. "Rei?" he squeaked out.
"Pilot Ikari, according to the series, you owe me seventy-five sessions of becoming one. I do not wish to deviate from the script."
"WHAT?" screamed out the other girls in the room.
PenPen gave as much of a thumb's up that he could, before entering his room.
Misato tried to stop her, but Asuka beat her to the punch. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Wondergirl?"
Rei blinked. "Does the fact you are referring to me as a partner like your mother did indicate that you wish to become one with Shinji-kun and I as well? If so, you may follow." She turned, ignoring the stunned Second Child. "You may come as well, Captain."
As Rei dragged Shinji towards his Lovely Suite to reenact the scenes from the Hentai Anime Neon Genesis Evangelion, Misato banged her head on the table, trying to figure out why this was all happening.
In his office, Gendo Ikari activated a secret panel, which slid to reveal a room dedicated to the anime in question. In several sections were items he had "liberated" from the homes of the voice actresses who had participated in the series...well, the ones who had sex scenes with the Keitaro character.
Some thought his goal with bringing on Third Impact was to be reunited with his dead wife.
It was to recreate the world, so that he would take the role of Keitaro. "Get a restraining order on me, did they! Well, soon I will be where they can't keep me from!"
He smiled, remembering how he had stolen the Dead Sea Scrolls from the creator of the series, tricked SEELE into funding him, and even managed to hook up with the porn stars who had worked for the series. Well, I just have to hope Asuka's not mine.
You know, screw it! Shinji can have her and the clone of his mother. I WANT TO BE KEITARO!
And I will, even if I have to break him to do it.