Evangelion Time Loop 2

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow me to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.

This group is based on a Groundhog's Day concept, if time was looping, and certain members were aware of this.

These are their insanities.

New Loop #1:

Asuka stared at the trio of boys, completely unimpressed. God, I hope none of these … weaklings is the Third Child.

And why is that one wearing that gay-ass uniform?

Sadly, for many involved, that was when a strong wind decided to whip up the Second Child's yelled sundress, revealing her panties to the boys.

Of course, such an offense could not have been her fault. Sure, she wore the dress—and her entire time onboard, there had not been one day without wind to worry about—but it was the boys' fault for looking. As such, she had to punish them.


But her hand stopped from striking the third person when she heard a sound that sent a shiver down her back.


"Second Child," said Shinji, his voice neutral, his weapon at the side of her head, "what you heard was my weapon being primed to put you down as if you were nothing more than a rabid animal."

"Dude, where did Shinji get a gun?" whispered Touji, very fearful of his 'friend'. After all, when a child from NERV orders you to be their friend, you can't exactly say no.

"Shinji!" yelled Misato.

"Captain Katsuragi, as the Second was about to strike me, I find myself in need of properly responding. If she is as emotionally unstable as she has just demonstrated, she would be an unnecessary risk to NERV, let alone be unsuitable to be placed inside and allowed control of an Evangelion Unit.

"Yet as she is still allowed to pilot one, I am forced to assume that the same organization that decided my Father would be best suited for controlling a military installation once again failed to instill a proper decorum in this pilot.

"Now, you can either discipline her or I shall."

"W-w-who are you?" asked Asuka, face as pale as the First Child.

"I am Third Child Shinji Ikari, assigned pilot of Evangelion Unit 01," Shinji replied. "Do not think I will not terminate you if you become a risk to the publically expressed mission of NERV. You're job can easily be handled by another."

"Please pick me!" begged Kensuke. "I'm completely loyal! I'll kill for you! Want me to put her down for you so you can have full deniability?"

Much to the horror of Misato, Asuka, and Touji, Shinji appeared to consider it.

"Shinji!" bellowed Misato. "You are not allowed to terminate employees of NERV just because it suits you!"

Sighing, Shinji lowered the gun, flipping the safety back on, as he adjusted his yellow glasses. "Ms. Katsuragi, you will soon find that your understanding of my plans are not necessary for them to be carried out, nor is your approval.

"Now then, shall we ensure the person in charge of this relic does not believe the same thing as you," he finished, turning sharply and heading towards the Bridge.

Who knew being such a dick could be so much fun?

New Loop #2:

Shinji rubbed his jaw, staring at Rei. "You know, if you didn't want me doing that, you could have just asked me to stop."

Rei stared at him still nude and still on the floor.

"I mean, I can understand that you're not in the mood," offered Shinji. "Hell, I can understand not being attracted to me.

"But did you really have to clock me with an AT-Enhanced fist instead of asking 'Please stop playing with my breasts'?"

Rei continued to stare at him.

"This isn't about the whole 'becoming one with you' thing is it?" asked Shinji. "Because I'm more into the whole sex thing and against the whole being reduced to LCL thing."

Rei's eyes went wide at that.

Shinji just shrugged. "What can I say, I'm a teenager with teenage hormones," offered Shinji. "And as much as I enjoy looking upon a beautiful naked female—despite her vicious right hook—we might want to hurry up to NERV, especially if we're not going to have sex."

Rei just stared as Shinji left. He knew about the AT Field, the becoming one?

He confused her.

Her hand going to the breast Shinji had … caressed, she was torn between two emotions, emotions she did not know how to process. One was to physically assault the Third Child.

The other … was to throw him down and do things to him she had caught people doing in the broom closets of NERV.

Shinji continued to whistle outside of Rei's apartment. Sure, that could have gone better. However, it was still a start to thawing the Ice Princess. "Can't expect miracles on the first try," he muttered.

Thus it was understandable he was quite shocked when a pair of pale arms burst through the wall on either side of him, yanking him back into the apartment by force.

Rei had made her decision.

New Loop #3:

Shinji just hummed to himself as he broke into Kaji's assigned room aboard the Over the Rainbow. "You know, you'd expect a Navy to be able to afford better locks for their doors," he muttered as he made his way towards the hidden safe in the room. "Bad Kaji, not keeping it on you at all times," he said with a smile as he prepared to crack the safe.

Gendo stared at the suitcase open before him. "Is this a joke?" he asked.

"What?" asked Kaji in confusion, as he looked into the suitcase.

It didn't contain the first Angel in embryonic form.

It did however contain a large supply of Viagra.

Shinji looked at his left hand, the form of Adam implanted in it. "And that is why you are in my left hand; because then it would feel slightly gay when I masturbate otherwise."

New Loop #4:


Shinji blinked as his eyes refocused on the room around him. "You know, I might be going crazy. I think I'm beginning to understand you."


"… Nope, my mistake," grumbled Shinji as he sat up. "No more drinking Misato's stash this Loop. I don't think my body can handle it," he grumbled as he made his way to the bathroom, pondering on what to do today to shock the hell out of people.

Hmm, I already tried the lost brother of Ayanami. Did the genetic experiment shtick, I'd even been the drunk.

But he needed something new to mess with people.

Smiling, Shinji let out a huge cackle.


"Nah, but I may need your help ordering some supplies for next week."


"Yes, there is beer in it for… Why am I talking to a penguin again?"


"No, this has nothing to do with my mother!"

"So Rei, will you help me?"


"Because I'm asking?"

"I have not been ordered to assist you. In fact, the Commander specifically mentioned I was to avoid your company in all instances aside from those required to defeat the Angels."

"… It'll mess with Asuka."

"What do you require?"

The teacher commended himself for once again not reacting to what had to be a plot from the Ikari-brat to slowly drive him insane. Why else would he and Ayanami dress up in those suits and hats, wearing sunglasses indoors?

Luckily, the next class was cut as the Angel sirens went off, causing all three pilots to stand up, and the redhead answering the phone.

"Don't worry folks," said Ikari. "The Angel will never harm you."

"It'll never catch us," said Rei, adjusting her tie to her dress suit. "We're on a mission from God."

New Loop #5:

"This is bullshit!" cried a member of the new Team 7 as the rest of the students and teachers left the classroom.

"I agree," said Shinji with a heavy sigh as he reached into his orange jumpsuit—which would be burned when he had a free moment to send some Kage Bunshin to fetch him new clothes—and produced a bottle of hard liquor. "Bad enough I fight with you in our universe; now you're my teammate here. I must have been Hitler in a past life to have karma this bad."

"That better have not been a German joke, Third Child; or I will crush you!"

"Must you yell?" inquired Rei. As the Second Child glared at her, Rei turned towards Shinji, who now was laying out a shot glass. "Ikari-kun, do you know of this reality?"

Shinji nodded, reaching into his jumpsuit and this time pulling out a small group of notebooks. Going through several, he picked out two and placed the rest back inside his subspace pocket. "Here you go," he said, tossing the two booklets over to the girls.

Asuka grabbed hers, looking at the title. "Sakura Haruno?" she asked.

Shinji nodded. "Long story short, we're in a version of a Fused Loop. Instead of restarting our Loop in our reality, we restarted it in another Looping reality, the one from a series on manga and comics Ranma simply referred to as the Narutoverse. I took Naruto's spot in this Loop, and you two took the spots of his team members."

"How do we get back?" growled Asuka.

Shinji shrugged. "Die or play the Loop out," he said, wondering how Asuka was even breathing in Sakura's clothes—even at the age of twelve, Asuka was far more developed than the pinkette.

"I am to replace Sasuke Uchiha," said Rei, reading the first page of the book she had been handed.

Shinji just nodded, slamming back his fifth shot. He had to do it rapidly to even get a buzz—damned S2 organ didn't let alcohol stay in his system too long. At least he didn't have to worry about times when he would need Kyuubi-level chakra.

Sadly, he didn't think Rei had ever gotten around to giving that organ to Asuka as well. In effect, Asuka was still the lead weight on the team.

He chuckled lightly. Too bad for her.

"Baka-Shinji, I am not some fangirl of Wondergirl!" Asuka yelled, spotting some of Sakura's history.

Shaking a happy image out of his head—one that promised to fuel a mighty Patronus when he ended back up in the Hogwarts Loop—Shinji turned to face the irate redhead. "We took their places. Certain things in the universe will change because of that. I doubt Rei has a horde of fangirls."

"It will be highly likely I have a horde of fanboys instead," replied the quiet neo-Uchiha, as she pulled out a small pocket mirror. She focused for several moments before her red eyes flashed into an immature Sharingan.

"Why does she get some bloodline?" whined Asuka. "Gimme the fox, Shinji!"

The former Ikari shrugged. "He's always with Naruto. I don't have him."

Sighing, Asuka returned to her book. "Well, at least I'll be a better ninja than you. Just watch and see how it's done!"

"Sure you will, Asuka," he slurred, smiling. Ah, a good buzz, and he still had half the bottle left.

"My first impression of you," started Kakashi, looking at his team of a … an Uchiha who seemed to be staring at everything with her Sharingan on, a redhead who looked like she was about to start yelling at him, and … a drunk and passed out demon container who was mumbling something about pens, "that I pissed off the Hokage somehow. Meet me on the roof in ten."

New Loop #6:

"What?" yelled Gendo.

The Section 2 agent gulped. "We found the Fourth Child hogtied in the pilot locker-room with this note," he said, handing it to Gendo quickly.

Yeah, think we should have an experienced pilot try and start Unit 03. I've read a book on test pilots, Old Man, which officially puts me ahead of you in Military Experience.

If it kills me, I just want you to know … it was me who signed you up for all those yaoi porn magazines and doujinshi.

Not nearly drunk enough for this shit,

Gendo stared. Aside from explaining his recent surge in junk mail, it also explained the disappearance of the Third Child.

But no fret. Unit 00 and Unit 02 were out there, Unit 01 was on standby with the Dummy Plug system.

"Target is within visual range of the Evangelions," said Maya nervously.

Gendo nodded, already hearing the chatter of the Second Child about facing an Eva, the failed attempts to eject the entry plug, and his own command to classify Unit 03 as the next Angel and call for its immediate termination.

And then … it all went to hell, something he was certain was his son's fault.

Asuka blinked. "Where the hell did that thing get a top hat and cane?" she asked loudly.

Standing ready, Unit 03/the Thirteenth Angel opened its mouth, and began its plan.

"Hello! ma baby, Hello! Ma honey, Hello! ma ragtime gal.

Send me a kiss by wire, baby my heart's on fire!

If you refuse me, Honey, you'll lose me, then you'll be left alone;

Oh baby, telephone and tell me I'm your own."

Finally, it danced behind a mountain, the song over.

"… Okay, what the fuck?" asked Asuka.

New Loop #7:

Shinji moved nervously down the corridor, looking for any droids he might need to deal with.

There was none. No sounds, no marching, no anything to indicate that this was an enemy stronghold.

And it scared him.

Fear wasn't part of the Jedi way. But he wasn't a Jedi. Sure, it was nice and all, but as Ranma pointed out, it was half an equation, an unbalanced nature.

Like all of the Anchors and their fellow Loopers, they were Gray Jedi. Bad enough they had to deal with some staunch code, at least they didn't have to worry about being banished.

Somewhat hard to do when you're among the strongest out there—even a sometimes Looping Sith Lord.

But that wasn't why he was scared.

No, he was scared because of the fellow Looper of that sometimes-Sith Anchor. Something about the way that Togruta looked at his fellow Gray Jedi that made him … think of Rei.

"Took you long enough to get here, Stud."

Gulping, he slowly cast his eyes upward, finding … a nude Padawan with a very disturbing smile.

"Mama doesn't like to be kept waiting."


"What was that?" asked a clone trooper, looking behind the group.

Anakin Skywalker turned back slightly. "Probably Snips having some fun." He chuckled lightly at that. Oh well, better one of them than me.

"So … we should continue … that way?" asked the clone soldier, pointing in the opposite direction of the scream.

"Yes," Anakin nodded with a smile. "I'm sure Snips and whoever is … ah, helping her have everything back there well in hand." He even felt sorry for the unfortunate Droids that would no doubt stumble upon the duo.

Once again, better them than him.

"What is it, Saotome?" asked Nabiki, turning to look at the sad look on her teacher's face.

"A great disturbance in the Force," he said sadly. "Shinji has cried out and was silenced."

"Well, you warned him not to go on a mission with Skywalker or his Padawan."

New Loop #8:

Shinji stared at the Third Angel, wondering if perhaps his newest plan could work.

"You do not seek Adam," he said, waving towards the approaching Angel.

To his amazement, it stopped.

"You seek … to destroy Tokyo-Disney and Euro-Disney. In fact, you seek the end of all Disney Parks."

The Angel slowly nodded as it turned, setting course for Old Tokyo.

The Third Child only blinked. "That … was kinda cool. THE FORCE ROCKS!

"Teach those idiots to sell me tainted food…"

New Loop #9:

Gendo glared at the document before him, his express-mail reply from his son.

He had simply sent the Third Child a letter with only one word: come.

Shinji's reply was just as short. However, it included a picture of the Third Child bending over, apparently slapping his bare ass, with one word as well.


If we were not all about to die soon and all my plans coming down around me, I would feel proud.

New Loop #10:


"Yeah, Rei," asked Shinji, trying to remember which wires to cross that wouldn't have the result of sending a few gigawatts through his flesh.

Thirteen times was enough, thank you.

"Why are we doing this?" she asked.

"Rei, how many Loops have we been through?"

"Seven thousand, eight hundred, and forty seven, counting this Loop."

The Third Child blinked at those numbers. "Okay … wow. You counted them all."

"Negative, I simply recited a random number of sufficient quantities to see your reaction and take emotional fulfillment from it."

"… You just said a huge number to fuck with me?"

"I believe that is what I said," replied the First Child.

"… Right," murmured Shinji. "Anyway, I'm just adding a bit of equipment into the MAGI."

"For what purpose?"

"Can't it be a surprise?"

"Your last surprise resulted in me competing with three of my spare bodies for your attention," Rei replied, a bit of anger in her voice.

"I had nothing to do with that," he quickly replied. "I simply tried to see if I could activate them without needing you dead. I had no idea that your memories were already inside them."

"One of them attempted to seduce the Second Child," Rei responded, shivering. "I will terminate her later to ensure such does not occur again."

"Yeah," Shinji murmured, hooking up his equipment. He rather enjoyed returning to Misato's apartment and basically finding Rei XXVI making Asuka her bitch. Good times, good times… "Don't worry Rei, it won't do that."

"Then what will it do, Ikari-kun?" she asked once again.

"Well, you ever notice how literally everything is run by computers here, even security."

"Yes, it is in the manual on Page 28."

"There's a manual?

"Never mind," said Shinji. "I'm simply making use of a pal I picked up during the last Fused Loop with Saotome."

"Did that not involve the Federation?"


"Ikari-kun, are we creating Borg?"

"No, but save that idea for the next Loop."

"Very well. So what are we releasing?"

"Something Chief O'Brien lent me."

"I shall leave things in your hands, Sensei," said Gendo, as he activated the lift to lower him one level, a lift he had used hundreds of times.

Sadly, this was a time when a Harry had acquired a certain AI program from the Gamma Quadrant from Chief Miles O'Brien.

Thus, Gendo could only look on with wide eyes as the platform descended much faster than should have been expected.

It went down at Mach 8.

Gendo didn't descend as fast.

"You used a foreign computer artificial intelligence to do injury to the Commander?" asked Rei.

Shinji just shrugged. "I let the little guy go wild as long as he constantly injured certain people."

"You have let the foreign equivalent of Ireul loose on our base."

"One; he's loyal to me. Two; he won't harm our operations. And three, it was damned funny, huh."

"… I admit, seeing the Commander squeak 'Oh shit' before falling to near-certain death was quite enjoyable."


"But I fail to see how this will result in more time for us to become one."

"… There's more to life than sex, Rei."

"True, but nearly all of it lacks significant emotional responses."

"…Okay, I'll put it this way: the more injures the Old Man has, the less time he can spend watching me nail you at school, the mall, Penpen's freezer, or any other place I whip out my Ikari sword."

"… The results are desirable. Never call your penis the 'Ikari Sword' ever again."


"It disturbs me."


"It makes me mentally elevate Kensuke Aida higher in the list of desirable mates."

"… Right, out it is."

"… Medic!" came a weak cry from the hole that Gendo had descended.

New Loop #11:

Shinji stared at the beverage before him, wishing the alcoholic goodness to erase this Loop from his mind. He had been among those that had laughed when Naruto and friends regaled them with a tale about how they had done something so stupid, they had entered a Prime Loop, a Loop where you meet yourselves at the starting point in a Loop, where you exist apart from them. He had laughed so hard when Uzumaki talked about dealing with his younger self.

Now he realized how wrong he was.

"More drinks?" asked the waitress at the Tokyo-3 bar inside the Geo-front.

"Vodka, keep it coming and leave the bottle," said Shinji.

"And you, Miss?"

Blinking, he raised his eyes, spotting the adult Rei. "Anything but tequila for her," said Shinji.

Rei actually pouted.

"Oh, don't give me that. I remember all too well what happened the last time you had tequila."

"What happened?"

Turning slightly, he say Misato, Ritsuko, Kaji, and the adult forms of Asuka and Kaoru entering and making their way to the table. He didn't really want to answer.

Rei however had no such issues. "I proceeded to become one with Shinji-kun until he passed away."

The three non-Looping adults stared at him in shock—awe mostly for Kaji.

"I have since dealt with his frailty issues by gifting him with an S2 organ."

"Hey!" growled Asuka. "How come I didn't get one?"

"You have not given me a reason to."

"I'm not a carpet muncher, Wondergirl."

"Excuse me," interrupted Misato. "As much as I would just love to hear about Shinji's sex life, could any of you explain why the Fifth Child is here but not the Fourth?"

The four future pilots looked around nervously, before deciding to do what they always did.

Pretend nothing had been said and move on.

"Kaoru, where's your analog?" asked Shinji.

"Oh, I dropped him off at Ms. Katsuragi's apartment with some learning aids. I fear my double is quite socially retarded and hope that viewing those aids with your analogs will help him fit in better."

"… God damn it," muttered Shinji, dropping his head to the table, knowing what Kaoru had done.

"My, you Lilum do have such … odd mating rituals," he said, staring at the screen, as his elder self's 'educational' material played on the television.

Rei looked down at the bottle her elder self had given her and back towards the pale Third Child., wondering if the mystic brew with a dead arthropod in it would truly help her experience the joys of humanity.

Well, at least I have enough to get a hotel for the night. I am not walking into that tonight.

"So the Third Child will one day grow into quite the Ladies' Man," chuckled Kaji, taking a seat—furthest from Asuka oddly enough.

"Well, I always wanted to be better than my Old Man," Shinji slurred, as he filled his shot glass with some vodka. "A personality and the ability to make breakfast the morning after goes a long way." He also had plenty of experience getting out of handcuffs, gags, and the occasional weighted trap meant to keep him in said bedroom. But he'd rather they not know that.

Even Ritsuko laughed at that. "So does that mean soon we'll get some more information on this war, upgrades, and such from your travels?"

"Duh," smirked Asuka. "Just a little, enough to make sure other forces on the planet do not abuse it."

Kaoru nodded. "We shall even reveal the truth about the First and Second Angels," he offered, causing the non-Loopers to open their eyes wide in shock.

"The truth?" asked Kaji, hoping against hope.

"Later," said Shinji, waving for the waitress to return to their table. "For now, we celebrate the defeat of the Sixth Angel!"

"Was it really necessary to make it crawl all the way here from Old Tokyo to kill it?" asked Misato.

"Evolution's a bitch," sneered Shinji. Not his fault they moved Unit 02 and baby-Adam through the air. Poor Angel forgot to evolve to breath outside the water. Not his problem.

New Loop #14:

"Well then, Ikari," grunted the General, his bile rising in his esophagus at the mere thought of what he had to do. Nothing was worse than handing a civilian control of a military matter, especially a civilian with absolutely no military training.

"Sir!" cried one of the Bridge Bunnies—a term a males took great offense to and the lone woman when someone handed her a playboy bunny outfit as a joke. "Several unknown signatures are approaching the Angel!"

"What are they?" demanded the middle general in a huff.

"They appear to be … robotic lions, sir?" said the lone female bridge bunny in a tiny voice.

"And I'll form the head," came the voice over all radio frequencies, as the Black Lion transformed, joining with the other lions and forming a giant robot.

"Hey, how come he gets to be the Black Lion?" asked a voice many who were in the multiverse would recognize as Naruto.

"Because this is his universe, Uzumaki," came a calm voice from another lion, the familiar voice of Ranma Saotome. "When we have to face giant horrible beasts in your universe, you can run the Black Lion."

"Excuse me, guys," said the Black Lion, the voice of Shinji Ikari, "I have a giant technorganic entity to destroy to protect my world. Could we put off the lame bitching and moaning and focus on that?"

"I was not bitching!" yelled Naruto.

"GO, VOLTRON FORCE!" said Maya Ibuki with pride.

"… Ikari," growled a general, turning to face the commander of NERV, "if this is some joke, I'll have you castrated for it!"

Gendo just blinked. He was pretty sure Voltron was not in the Dead Sea Scrolls.

New Loop #15:

Shinji sighed as time resumed. "And I was having such fun too," he complained. Why did it always seem that when he finally began to enjoy himself, someone would do something stupid and end them?

"Oh well," he shrugged, closing his eyes as he began to manipulate his subspace pocket, "no use crying over spilled milk … unless it was the last and you wanted cereal."


Smiling, the Third Child opened his eyes and looked at the coffin-sized crate. "This better work or I'll be one severely pissed customer," he complained, easily opening the sealed crate.

Looking inside, he found a small data pad and turned it on, reading what it displayed.

"Congratulations on your purchase of the Mark-III personal mini-photon torpedo launcher," he started with a smile. Sure, launching it would likely irradiate the area.

But it wasn't his fault if the pilots facing the Angel didn't have adequate shielding.

"I do wonder though, will five isotones be enough to get through an AT Field?" he paused, before setting the device back down and began to modify the mini-torpedo's casing with anti-AT tech.

He didn't want to level all of Tokyo-2 after all. He was still there.

Shinji could only blink, eyes wide, body covered with Angel bits—as was a good bit of Tokyo-2—with the shoulder-mounted weapon still in hand.

"I think I'm in love," he whispered out, using a free hand to wipe chunks of Sachiel off his face.

"Hmm," he murmured, pulling out a tricorder and giving himself a quick scan, ignoring the screams for help from the downed VTOLs who had been closer to the exploding Angel. "Not sterilized, not irradiated either, all good."

Smiling at a job well done, he concentrated, sending the launcher back into his subspace pocket, and sighed. Now all he had to do was get cleaned up, ignoring the urges society had ingrained into all young males that after witnessing such destruction, that he had a need for liquor and to see something naked.

A blue car skidded to a halt near him, barely missing him as the driver was hardly experienced in stopping on a road covered in biological fluids and waste.

"Hey, get in!" cried Misato, opening the door for him.

Looking up, Shinji could only growl. "You love tempting me, don't you?"

New Loop #16:

Shinji blinked as he looked at the available materials he had to play with. "You know, one would think an upscale computer shop would have better gear on-site than this," he grumbled, grabbing a few circuit boards. How was he expected to hack the MAGI with equipment like this? Hell, the whole reason he had chosen to break into this particular store after he awoke in the Loop was just for that purpose: high-end stores had to have high-end merchandise.

However, that was proven wrong. Half the stock he could see was at least half a year old, no new series of video cards, nothing to indicate that the store was as cutting-edge as it proclaimed on its sign.

"Well, definitely burning this place down," he grumbled, looking around. He hated false advertising.

Looking around, he spotted a few more parts he could use. And while not the high-end he was hoping for, they'd do.

So, grabbing a soldering iron, he got to work.

"GET IN!" yelled Misato, pulling the soot-covered boy into her car and driving off as quickly as she could, barely missing the foot of the Angel.

"Are you okay, are you hurt?" she asked him, giving him a quick cursory glance to ensure he wasn't bleeding out.

"Nah," he waved off, opening the laptop computer and beginning to type away. "I was a little closer to a fire than I thought I would be. I really need to practice that," he murmured, before shaking his head and returning to his typing. Arson never had been his forte.

Hmm, I'll need to practice that. Wonder what all my father owns. Or SEELE.

"Would you shut that down?" yelled Misato, as she tried to lead him through NERV.

"Almost done," stated Shinji, as he compiled and executed the program he had been running. Luckily, the wireless router he had 'acquired' was able to link with the MAGI inside of NERV, thanks to a backdoor he knew of.

Closing it up while leaving it running, he smiled at Misato. "Now, how can I help you?"

Gendo just twitched as he made his way to the visual platform for the bay where Unit 01 was kept. Something was terribly wrong with the MAGI. Whenever he walked, they played the Imperial March song. When the generals left him in command of the operation to defeat the Angel, a voice came over the speaker demanding to know what they were smoking and why they were not sharing. Telemarketers were calling his private line. His phone would occasionally even come on and emit sounds as if he was farting or soiling himself.

And he wouldn't even dignify what was randomly popping on computer monitors.

A quick check of the Dummy Plug room revealed that the speakers were now reciting interviews from Dr. Ruth.

Were things not so tense, he would have dragged Akagi to fix it, as obviously the MAGI were either hacked or failing.

Finally, he arrived at the window, taking a moment to restore his usual calm manner, before answering the boy's question.

"It is," he said, eyes wide as the voice that came out was several octaves higher. Great, now the malfunctions were pumping helium into the room. Hmm, he did wonder why he felt very light headed and…


"Well, I guess someone finally got him neutered," murmured Shinji just loud enough for the two women beside him to hear. "Now, you were showing me this why exactly?"