Disclaimer: I don't own Amy, Shadow, Sonic or any of the Sonic characters, if I did why would I be writing FANFICTION? Answer me that people!
I just kind of...started writing, we'll see how it goes.
"Amy, look, I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but I don't like you like that, and I doubt I ever will...so stop torturing yourself." Amy stared blankly at her hero, her eyes turning towards the ground, trying to fight back tears.
"But, Sonic, I love you..." She looked up into his green eyes and he just looked away, somewhat guiltily. He nodded, but then turned from her.
"I know you do...but I don't love you."
That was the only thing Amy Rose could think of. He had said "never". He said he was never going to like her like she liked him. He would never love her. Her heart felt torn into two pieces. She sat silently on the footsteps that led up to City Hall. She hadn't seen anyone in Station Square that she had recognized in the least. People passed by her, not even noticing. Amy finally let a few tears slide down her cheeks. Finally, as the pink hedgehog continued to stare at the ground. She was jerked back to reality abruptly from a pair of white boots coming into her vision. "Amy, what's the matter, you look a little down." The small hedgehog lifted her head to see Rouge the Bat before her. A melancholy sigh was all she could get out in response, she didn't want to have to relive the event anymore than she already was. Rouge sat down beside her on the concrete steps, "C'mon, Amy, if you don't talk about it, it's never going to get better, what did Sonic do now?"
Amy smiled slightly, it was funny every time she was upset, all of her friends blamed it on the blue hedgehog. "He's never going to like me as anymore than a friend." She felt Rouge keep staring at her, but the bat didn't say anything. She pinched her eyes shut, trying to suppress tears, which burned at her sockets and came forth anyway. She felt Rouge's hand on her shoulder, but she couldn't bring herself to look at the woman.
"Don't worry, Amy." Amy wondered how Rouge could even say a thing like that, she was never going to recover, her one true love had completely and totally rejected her. Depression swelled in her mind, as gruesome thoughts came to pass in her mind, thoughts of not wanting to live anymore. She would never admit this to Rouge, she was supposed to be the cheery girl who kept everyone in good spirits. Well, now her spirits were crushed and they were never going to be built back up again.
Amy kept her eyes on the frigid ground, it was late November and it was already freezing outside. Amy thought it was quaint for how well it matched her insides. She shivered slightly, but Rouge didn't even notice. "Yeah..." She just mumbled under her breath after that, the white bat just looked at her for a long time. Rouge really didn't know what to say, she had never been good at cheering people up. Though, the bat was convinced she could have thought up something, had someone not interrupted.
"What are you two idiots doing out here?" It was Shadow. "It's freezing cold, so you're just going to sit outside?" Amy slowly lifted her head to see the black hedgehog. Her heart sunk in her chest as she didn't want to have to explain it to him or Rouge or anyone, luckily for her, Shadow didn't seem overly interested in what was wrong with her. In fact, he didn't even seem to notice anything was. Amy's thoughts jumbled as she thought the red-eyed hedgehog over, he had never shown much compassion for anyone. Come to think of it, towards her, he reminded her of Sonic.
"Well, I was just passing by and Amy seemed to be a little down in the dumps." Shadow raised as eye ridge at Rouge, then looked back down at Amy. She wasn't looking up at him anymore, her head bowed sadly. Shadow looked like her might care for a moment, then he simply shrugged his shoulders and spun on his heels.
"Yeah, well...whatever Sonic did, I'm sure she'll get over it." His voice was icy, something else that matched how her heart felt. A feeling of relief mixed with more sadness filled in her mind, a mixture no one usually felt. She couldn't help, but be slightly upset that Shadow hadn't even cared enough to ask her what happened. He assumed it was Sonic, and of course it was the blue blur, but he could have said something encouraging, but that wasn't Shadow's style anyway.
Amy stood up, her eyes never leaving the ground, "Uh-huh." Shadow gave her another glance as he realized she stood up. She was taking his advice, it was cold and she didn't need to get sick on top of a broken heart. Her mind screamed he was wrong though, she would never get over it. She was never going to love anyone again, she never wanted to feel again. She didn't want to live anymore. These thoughts scared Amy, she had never thought like this before. Not wanting to live? She didn't though, Sonic had ripped her heart out for the last time. Everyone thought of her as a nuisance anyway, so why not just go through with it. She said nothing though, she turned and started back towards her house.
"Amy, wait..." She blinked turning slightly to see that Shadow actually stared at her. Her glance seemed to be enough of a response, as he continued, "...you are okay, aren't you?" This took her by surprise, Shadow actually asking her if she was all right, and after his little front just a second ago. She simply lied and nodded her head.
She lied through her teeth as she stared into his piercing red eyes, "I'll be fine." He gave her a slightly shrug, forcing thoughts of concern from him.
'I love him, he's the only person I'll ever love...and, now he's never going to return that love, so what is the point of living anymore?' Her thoughts had stopped scaring her, she was beginning to accept the fact that she hated this life. She didn't want to be the little nuisance that tagged along, chasing after an impossible dream. She wanted to be taken seriously, and she knew how she could do that. She turned from Shadow and Rouge once again, she felt them still watching her. She wondered why they were staring like they were, she didn't want to tell anyone what she was going to do. Her mind was made up, she was just going to do it, then they'd all get how she felt.
"Do you want me to walk you home?" He continued to surprise her, but she couldn't resist taking the offer. Somehow the simple question, something that shouldn't have mattered at all. Seemed to remove the knife Sonic had plunged into her heart, she looked back at him. Sadness lifting from her green eyes just slightly, she almost smiled. She didn't know why Shadow's offer made her feel better, but it did, not much, and the suicidal thoughts continued to encircle her mind, but it did make things seem a little better.
She nodded her head just slightly, "Sure, Shadow." For a moment, she wondered if the black hedgehog would say something like 'yeah, right'. But even before he spoke, she thought that idiotic the hedgehog was far too respectable to pull an immature stunt like that. He smiled and nodded to Rouge, who returned the nod and turned to go. He caught up with her, as she was only a brief distance away.
They started walking, and Shadow just kept shooting her glances, though her glance remained on the ground. She wondered what he was thinking. "I didn't make you mad earlier, did I?" Amy looked up to him, she looked slightly confused. She thought back over the event, and figured he meant by his lackadaisical attitude towards her depression. No, she hadn't been mad at all. She had just figured it wouldn't do any good to be mad, Shadow never seemed to care much for her.
She shook her head, "No." He nodded, glad to hear that, obviously. He watched her, she kept her glance firmly planted on the ground. The pink hedgehog hadn't even looked up to respond to him when he spoke. He had never seen this side of Amy before, he thought the only capability she had was to be upbeat and trying to make everyone else the same way. Honestly, she had gotten on his nerves in the past, but now she wasn't at all, yet, he wished she was back to her usual self.
"What did Sonic do?" She winced, finally she lifted her gaze to the black hedgehog. She looked straight ahead, trying to compose herself enough to answer. She wanted to leap into the hedgehog's arms and just cry. She was glad he asked, but she didn't want to respond. Though, the question did prove he cared to a slight degree.
Amy bit into her lower lip, keeping her glance cast forward, "Nothing out of the ordinary, just not in the mood to be rejected today." He tore his glance from her now, thinking it over, Sonic did seem to always be pushing Amy away. He had never noticed before, probably because he saw himself doing the exact same thing if given that much attention, but thinking it over, he wondered how Amy took so much of that.
"Well, most people aren't any day." She nodded her head, but refused to look at him again. She knew they were getting closer to her house. She fought back tears furiously, her vision blurry from the few of them that were especially stubborn.
"Most people." She sighed, she could usually take Sonic pushing her away, being hateful almost, she knew Sonic meant no harm, but he didn't love her and he never would. That's what he said, but that had been the hope she had clung to like a fool, that one day he would. But with the term never thrown in there, her hope had been completely diminished.
Shadow shrugged his shoulders, seeing the young hedgehog's house, he didn't say anything for the rest of the short walk, getting sick of trying to talk to Amy, when all he was getting was shoved aside. She was obviously severely depressed over her hero's actions right now. He planned to ask Sonic what he had done later that day, but at the moment he had to figure out how to say bye to Amy. "Well, we're here." She sighed and gave him a brief hug, he thought that was odd. Though, she still seemed to retain some of her old nature. He couldn't help but blush slightly at the hug, her body was really warm, and the coldness outside had been getting to him.
"Thank you so much, Shadow." She gave him a weak smile and he simply nodded to her. Her heart still set on what she had planned though, somehow she wanted to wrap her arms around Shadow and keep him there. She knew if he left her, she was going to have to do it. Her depression was going to drive her insane when he was gone. She would have asked him to stay, had she not been so wary of how that always worked out with Sonic. "I needed someone to walk me home."
The black hedgehog just smiled slightly, "Sure, I figured I was pretty mean before, so thought I owed it to you." She nodded. He looked at the door, then at her expression, "You gonna be okay, now, though?" No. She wasn't, she wasn't going to be okay. She couldn't tell him that, he had enough to worry about with his own life. So, she nodded her head, in another lie.
"I'll be fine, thanks."
He nodded and turned to go, leaving her standing on her own front porch. The wind picked up and chilled her to the bone, she continued to watch him leave. He turned back around for a moment, wondering if she was going to go in or not. She wanted to scream for him to come back, but she couldn't. She turned back to the door and opened it, Shadow stood there and watched it click shut. "Amy..." He mumbled softly, then turned and activated his jet shoes, taking off.
Amy walked into her house, it was just as she left it. She looked to her message machine, it said two. She slowly eased over to it and pressed the button to listen to them. She sat down on the couch, as it initiated the process she was usually so into. Her mind fell over thoughts of suicide, then the answering machine began.
"Friday, November 21st, 11:23 am..." The machine's voice was so emotionless, she envied it at this moment, yet thought envying an answering machine was so stupid.
"Hey Amy!" Cream. "I was just wondering if you're still going to the mall on Sunday, if you are, call me, I have nothing better to do, so I might tag along, if that's okay with you!" She stared at it for a long time, no, she wasn't going on Sunday, she didn't plan to be in this world Sunday. Her thoughts brought another fear to mind, but she dismissed and pressed the button to erase the message.
"Friday, November 21st, 1:52 pm..." She listened intently, she wanted it to be Sonic, but she didn't want it to be him. She didn't want to have to listen to that voice she was so in love with. Her heart did sink though, when the machine spoke again.
"Amy..." It was him. "Look, I'm sorry if I upset you earlier, I hope you don't hate me, but I can't lie to you...I really am sorry, later." He didn't even have to say it was him and he knew that, she knew it was. She took a deep breath, he hadn't meant anything by it, no, but it had crushed her. She felt like a cinder block had just been dropped on her heart as she pressed the erase button again. Amy knew it wasn't right to punish him for something he couldn't help, but she didn't want to be here anymore. She had no one to love, no hope to hang on to, why would she live anymore? She sighed and walked from the answering machine, the machine flashing back to zero.
She walked into the kitchen and slowly picked up a knife. She wanted to know what it would feel like, she wanted to know if physical pain, stuff Sonic and Shadow took every day from Eggman's robots, would feel as bad as emotional pain. She turned her wrist over, staring at it blankly for a long time. She moved the sharp edge of the knife along her wrist. It hurt, but it almost helped her mental pain somewhat. She didn't like it, but it provided relief. She stared at the line she had just made in her wrist, crimson liquid flowing down from it. Amy stared at it for a long time, then did it again. This time it was somewhat deeper as she stared at it. "Red, blood is red, like the color you think of ... when you think of love, so this is how I'll do it. I'll bleed out all my emotions, all my love." She repeated the process.
"Shadow!" The name jerked him from his thoughts as he whirled around on his heels, an interested expression on his face. He was in a fairly good mood, slightly worried about Amy, and he had no idea why. But, his spirits were rather high right now. He recognized the voice as it registered, before he even saw the blue hedgehog. Sonic was across the street and as he walked over to him, Shadow waited on him. "Hey."
"Hey, Faker." Sonic scowled at the nickname, Shadow had basically stuck him with. He crossed his arms and watched the black hedgehog smirk at his expression. Shadow wondered what Sonic could want, figuring he just wanted to talk to him, then remembered how upset Amy had been. He gave Sonic a turn to talk before he questioned him though, he knew how it felt like to reject a girl, as he had done to Rouge before, though, she hadn't taken it quite so hard. She had just slapped him across the face, and swore she'd never speak to him again. Then, she called him a few days later, asking him if he wanted to do something. But, Rouge didn't seem as sensitive as Amy.
Sonic stared at Shadow, who was giving him a skeptical look, it wasn't a mean look though, Shadow and Sonic had actually become pretty good friends, that's why Shadow figured he was in the place to ask Sonic about Amy, "You look like something's buggin' you, Shadow." The black hedgehog made a face, since when had Sonic been able to read minds.
"Well, yeah...I walked Amy home earlier, you really have her all upset." The blue hedgehog bowed his head and heaved a sigh. He just shook his head and eventually came to shrug his shoulders, giving Shadow a resigned look.
"I didn't mean to, but I don't like her, I told her I never would...I guess I shouldn't have been so damned blunt." The red-eyed hedgehog laughed and him and nodded his head with a "duh" expression etched into his features.
Sonic shrugged, "She'll be okay, though...she's Amy...she's too happy to be sad for too long." Shadow shrugged as well, and looked at Sonic. The blue blur seemed to believe this, and he figured he should probably take Sonic's word for it, but he couldn't get her out of his mind.
'Sonic does have a point, I can't imagine her being sad for much longer, and she's just a silly little girl that follows Sonic around, why do I care?' Sonic patted him on the back after a second and he gave him an annoyed look. He crossed his arms over his chest, knowing Sonic was about to mock him for being concerned about Amy. The thing was, he still was concerned about her, he had no idea why, but she kept nagging at his mind.
"Why were you so worried, Shadow, hm?" His tone was mocking, as was to be expected, but it looked like the blue hedgehog wanted an honest answer. Shadow shrugged his shoulders, then just sent him another look. He turned to go, waving Sonic off, who pestered him further about why he was worried about Amy.
"I wasn't, I've just never seen her sad before," he lied. The green eyed hedgehog simply nodded his head and then turned to go, throwing a hand into the air, giving Shadow a wave-salute type thing, that the black hedgehog found incredibly stupid. Sonic laughed and nodded his head at the third look he got today.
Sonic nodded his head, "Well, don't let her worry you...I'm sure it's just a phase." He took off, Shadow didn't watch him leaving for long. He turned, he would have just gone ahead and ran back to his apartment, but when he walked he thought better. His thoughts swirled around Amy, he kept seeing her in his head. How sad she looked, and how pretty she looked. He rejected the thought immediately, since Maria, Shadow had not wanted anything to do with love. He hadn't had a problem with that, until now.
He thought the entire way home, an annoyed expression coming over him as he realized if he did like Amy, the only person she was ever going to be interested in was Sonic. He didn't get saddened by this, he already knew this, he just wondered why he would suddenly get a love interest. It unnerved him that depression seemed to catch his interest like it did, or maybe it was just guilt that haunted him for being so mean. He almost ran into his door, surprised that he had even walked up the stairs to get to his room. He hadn't remembered doing so, he supposed it was simply because he was so wrapped up in his thoughts. He sighed and inserted the key into the lock, walking in. His apartment was really simple, he didn't really see the use for all the knickknacks everyone else had in their homes. He wasn't even here, other than just to sleep. 'How sad could she be? It's just one guy, girls aren't supposed to let themselves get all worked up over guys, anyway...I understand she's liked him for a long time, but still...'
He sprawled out on his couch, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn't help but wonder what she was doing now. His heart almost fluttered as she entered his mind again, he sat up, gritting his teeth. 'What the fuck? Why am I thinking like this?' It wasn't anger he was feeling, but confusion. He didn't want to like Amy like that, she was just this pink-haired girl that he knew who followed Sonic the Hedgehog around everywhere he went. How could he like her, even as a friend? She was annoying. He tried desperately to convince himself of this, realizing it wasn't working, he stood up. 'Maybe I need to go back by her house and see her again, then I can get everything figured out?'
A knock on his door jerked him from his thoughts, he wondered if someone had followed him home, it was too soon after he got home to be anything else. He walked to the door and opened it, it was Knuckles. "Knuckles?" He repeated his thought process as he stared at the red echidna. Knuckles was never usually anywhere around, as he didn't live near here, but he had come by a few times. Before, Shadow had harbored an intense dislike for Knuckles, but he had gotten over that as well. He really didn't hate anyone in Sonic's little 'group' anymore. They had been nice to him, so he saw no reason to. However, he still hadn't gotten over the grudge over mankind he still clung to.
"Hey Shadow!" Obviously, from the tone in his voice, Knuckles had something planned. It was most likely about Rouge, Knuckles had started talking to him only after he had turned Rouge down. Before that he never said anything to Shadow, he would just shoot him a random glare every time Rouge was around. But now, Rouge liked Knuckles, she had to move on to somebody else. The thought of Amy doing that crossed Shadow's mind, but again, he dismissed it in annoyance.
Shadow held up a hand to say hey for him, as he was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to do much else. "What is it, Knuckles?" Knuckles seemed to examine him for a moment, to Shadow, it seemed like absolutely everyone wanted to read your mind. That was one good thing about his memories from the ARK, everyone stayed out of your business.
"Is something wrong?" Shadow shook his head, "Oh...well, hey, you have any ideas on what I should take Rouge...we're going to...erm..." Knuckles seemed to have trouble finding the correct term, as he obviously didn't want to say some stupid slang term that all the humans seemed to be so inclined to use, "...well, I'm going to her house tonight." Shadow laughed at the frustration Knuckles was having with the correct wording.
Shadow gave a sigh after a moment though, "Knuckles...I've told you before, I have no idea how to handle girls, I don't even know why she liked me when she did." The echidna nodded his head in exasperation, he sent a look in Shadow's direction.
"I don't either, Shadow, she had to be on something..."
"You're hilarious, Knuckles." Knuckles beamed, Shadow knew he didn't take him seriously. The black hedgehog laughed at Knuckles' stupid expression. He shoved him, somewhat playfully, out of the doorway so he could shut it. "Don't worry about it, just get her whatever...I'm sure she'll love it." He shut the door, before the echidna could say anything else.
Amy kneeled, cleaning up the mess of blood on her kitchen floor. She decided quietly that the kitchen was not the place to do this. She looked at her wrist, slits covering each of them coming halfway up the under side of her forearm. She smiled, it had helped considerable, but it was obvious. Suddenly, she was glad it was winter time, realizing a coat would easily cover the marks up. Her mind drifted back to Sonic, "One day, I'm not going to love you anymore." Her whisper was hardly audible to her own ears. Then her mind took a strange route, she thought of Shadow. 'Shadow?'
Her thoughts took her back to him walking her home, she knew he had watched her while she went inside. A desire for him to be there came over her quicker than she could have imagined. 'NO! Not again!' She picked up the knife, 'If I'm going to be like this...to fall in love again...then I might as well do it now.' She stared down at her chest, where the knife she held was now directed. Amy simply sighed, another thought of Shadow rushing over her like a wave, she set the knife on the counter. Her memory swirling with his expressions.
"Shadow...the Hedgehog?" She questioned aloud, she remembered him. Slowly the pain of the rejection she had held inside her all of those years began to disappear, slowly. Her mind began to cloud with thoughts of him, and him alone, 'But, what if he's just like Sonic? What if I get rejected by him too? Then what?' She hissed at the mere thought, but the thought of him brought a little bit of light into her world of darkness that she had just recently fallen in to.
Amy looked out her window, it was getting later and later, darkness already seeping into the blue sky. She was glad, she was ready to get some rest. The suicidal thoughts had mostly left her, the thought of running the knife down her wrist seemed perfectly satisfying. Thought, maybe the real thought that was keeping her from doing it was Shadow, it couldn't have been Sonic, true enough, she had loved Sonic. She had no intention of continuing to, tears brimmed at her eyes from the thought of him though. She knew, if she wasn't going to kill herself, she had to live through this life. She had to. Amy let out a sight and slowly looked over to her phone, thoughts of Shadow leaning hauntingly on her mind. She slowly walked over to her couch and plopped down, her mind racing.
Amy slowly sat up from her position on her couch, looking over to her clock it was 2 am. Amy cursed herself silently and got up off the uncomfortable position on her couch and started towards her room. She fell down on her bed, and didn't even change clothes. She just drifted off into another sleep, her dreams of Sonic and Shadow confusing her beyond reason. Her heart sped up as her sleep carried her to a rather distant location.
She stood in a fog covered plain, she looked around for anyone. No one was there, or no one she could see. She heard a familiar voice, but she couldn't make it out, "Amy, Amy, where are you?" It was a male's voice, but her memory would just not let her figure out who it was. Then, her mouth refused to let her speak. Frightened, she started running through the dense fog, she couldn't find where the voice was coming from. "Amy? Hello?" She couldn't place a finger on who's it was.
She whirled and started in the other direction, swearing it came from that way now, her body suddenly began to ache, her legs getting extremely weary. Amy slowly bent down to check to see what was wrong, nothing, but they refused to move. She fell to the ground, tears stinging at her eyes as she tried to call out to the voice. "Amy!" It was desperate this time, almost hopeless. Suddenly she saw a shadowed figure, it was a hedgehog, but she couldn't make out if it was Sonic or Shadow or someone completely different.
She began to crawl towards it.
Amy jerked up, rivulets of sweat pouring down her body and face. She panted hard, thinking back to the dream, seeing if in consciousness, she could remember the voice, recall who it was, no such luck. She sighed and squinted as she turned her head towards the window, it was morning again. She had to go out and face the world. The pink hedgehog slowly got up and moved towards her bathroom. If nothing else, Amy knew she needed a shower.
Amy turned up the nozzle and discarded the small dress she was wearing, she stepped into the shower. The water was extremely hot, she had always liked it that way. It was down her in all directions, and she blankly stared at the cuts on her wrist, a smile played upon her lips, not a happy, but a satisfied one.
After a brief shower, she slowly exited it and dried herself off with a towel, going to her closest and picking out a purple dress, she always like bright colors, but now, they were annoying her to no end. She slowly slipped into a sweater that covered the marks on her arm. She headed for the door, she didn't know where she was going, but she wanted to get out. She walked down the steps of her front porch, normally, she would have been going to find Sonic. She wasn't sure what she was doing now though, definitely not wanting to find Sonic.
It was slightly warmer today, but the sweater was still necessary for more than covering her cuts. A deep breath escaped her, she couldn't stop herself from thinking of the black hedgehog. It almost irritated her, she didn't need to go through this again. She smiled to herself, looking towards the ground. Her heels clicked melodically on the ground, seeming to make a tune all their own.
Amy turned things over in her mind, right now, her life seemed like it was completely falling apart. She didn't know whether to smile or cry, she didn't even know if she wanted to live or not. She gritted her teeth, turning her face back towards the ground. She bit into the side of her cheek, she didn't know if she was biting hard enough to cause it to bleed, but it didn't, so she assumed she wasn't. Her mind stayed focused on Shadow this time, not wandering off to think over the rejection and pain Sonic had left there so plainly. 'Maybe I should give Shadow a chance to ...love me, and not automatically assume because of Sonic? I'm just so scared it's going to happen all over again.'
She stumbled slightly, as she looked up and didn't see a crack in the sidewalk. She mumbled in frustration and kept walking, with a new destination in mind.
Wow! That was completely random! I have NO idea where that came from, I guess it's a budding from my own thoughts. I haven't been rejected, but I've recently started liking a new guy. I'm assuming this won't be long, but it isn't a one shot. It will probably be a few chapters, I'm sure it won't be too popular, considering I just scribbled it down. Well, typed it...down, but whatever, that's gay. Anyway, yeah!